


I Hate You Forever, My Love

by Kylo_Rens_Slashed_Face (gorgonbunny)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Plug, Anal Sex, Anal Torture, Angst, Anilingus, Bondage, Consensual Sex, Drunk Sex, Drunkenness, Gaslighting, Hux is Not Nice, Hux is abusive, Hux is really really awful, Kidnapping, M/M, Masturbation, No shame november, Non-Consensual Breathplay, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Non-consensual masturbation, Oral Sex, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rope Bondage, Sex, Sexual Slavery, Slave Ben Solo, Slavery, Torture, Violence, can't forget the angst, naked body sex, oh hey I guess it is Kylo Ren after all, violence against a minor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-27
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2018-09-01 14:07:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 24
Words: 91,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8627464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gorgonbunny/pseuds/Kylo_Rens_Slashed_Face
Summary: @~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@I didn’t think it was possible for someone to be as mean and cruel as you are, My Love. You do these things to me while you say you love me. Just when I think you’ve done the worst possible thing to me, you do something infinitely worse. I can’t think of a word strong enough to describe my hatred for you.@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@ Hux sees the boy he's been pining for at a slave auction and decides he can't live without him.





	1. Prologue ~Foundling~

**Author's Note:**

> I just can't get enough Ben Solo | Kylo Ren slave fics, so I had to write my own. :))
> 
> This is an alternate universe where Ben Solo either doesn't have force powers or doesn't know that he does. He is around 18 and Hux is somewhere around 30. 
> 
> Edit: Uh, yeah, so Hux is awful in this fic, in case that wasn't clear from the tags. He's abusive in extreme ways. So sorry for being blunt here, but I really don't want people to read something that they don't want to.
> 
> I'm sorry, but I made Han Solo an asshole.
> 
> Please read the tags and warnings before proceeding. The relationship described in this fic is most definitely not healthy. But I'm not here to be a PSA, I'm here to write some smutty entertainment. If this isn't the kind of entertainment you like, then do not read any further. 
> 
> However, if you've read all of the above and still wish to continue, then welcome, and enjoy!

\----------

 

While on a recruitment mission to the outlaw planet Kallumond, Hux had first seen him. His large, innocent eyes looked at him with a kindness that no one had ever shown him before.

“Are you alright?” He asked, putting his hand out to help him up from where he lay on the ground.

Hux should have been embarrassed and enraged that he had been jumped and beaten by three--or was it four?--miserable, petty thieves, but the smiling face of that boy made it all seem utterly ridiculous.

Hux started laughing, brushing himself off, “Yeah, but they stole my communicator and my ID. I can’t contact my ship.”

“I can take you someplace where you can call your ship,” the boy said, “come on.”

The boy led him into a dark, narrow alley. Hux would have been worried about being robbed, except that he had just been robbed and didn’t have anything left to steal. The boy knocked a code on an unmarked door. It opened.

It was darker inside than in the alley. Hux suspected it was some kind of illegal club. It had a bar, a number of booths with curtains, and several small rooms that had curtains instead of doors. Patrons sat around several gaming tables and screens showed various types of live racing. It seemed to be a gambling parlor/whore house/drug den.

Music played so loud over the staticky speakers that Hux barely heard what the boy was saying as he leaned over the bar to talk to the proprietor. The boy handed the bartender some credits then smiled at Hux. The bartender gave Hux a sour look, then slapped a communicator on the bar. Hux had never seen one like it. It must have been a hundred years old and Hux guessed that it was probably untraceable.

He glanced around the room before making his call. The boy had gone over to a table and was talking to a scruffy-looking man. The man looked in his direction, giving him a distasteful glower. Hux proceeded with his call, arranging for a shuttle to pick him up, then thanked the bartender. When he turned back, the scruffy man and the boy were gone. He waited a little while to see if they would return, but the bartender kept giving him dirty looks, Hux assumed for not spending any money, so he left.

He never got to thank the boy and never asked his name.

 

\----------- 

 

Hux was sitting in a raucous, smoke-filled lounge when he saw him the second time. At first glance, he appeared lanky and awkward, but, even as he stumbled onto the stage, Hux only had to watch him for a few moments to realize he had an intrinsic grace that even opiates couldn’t dull.

One man dragged him by a chain hooked to a collar around his neck while a second man held a chain attached to the shackles on his wrists. One of them kicked the back of his knees and he fell to the floor. The one holding the collar pulled his head up to show his features to the prospective buyers in the audience. The other man held his arms above his head and stroked his chest. His glazed stare, oddly parted lips, and hampered responses to the jerking and fondling made it obvious that he had been drugged--like all the slaves that had been auctioned that night.

Hux had gone to Coruscant to meet with a faction leader that he hoped to ally with the First Order. He had been chaffering with some gentlemen who weren’t the most reputable, far from it, but they had no love for the Republic. Knowing the sort of people he had to make business deals with, Hux had become inured to some of the less savory enterprises they engaged in--such as the illegal slave trade.  

He hadn’t been paying much attention to the slaves that had been brought on stage previous. However, the instant he saw him, Hux lost his train of thought utterly--maybe it was a mirage or dream--he had dreamt of him many times--

Someone in the crowd shouted, “Twenty thousand!”

Another shouted,”Thirty!”

\--Hux, captivated, hadn’t noticed that the bidding had started.

Nononono, Hux thought, No, he’s mine--He’s always been mine. He gouged his fingernails into his palms--No one else can have him. He called out his bid, not paying attention to the current number, outbidding by four hundred thousand. His associates at the table all stared at him, speechless, shocked that anyone would pay so much for a slave.

He knew it was rude to leave the table before the dessert ports were poured. He could find any number of underworld sects that he could lure to his cause, but he had been wishing that he would find the boy again for the past three years and he couldn’t wait one second longer. He excused himself and found the host’s assistant to pay him immediately.

The assistant insisted that Hux please wait to procure his merchandise until after the auction concluded. Before a fight between them broke out, the host, a large, Near-Human with pale aqua skin named Davill Aurent, approached.

“There’s not any trouble, is there, General Hux?” Aurent asked.

“No, none at all, Esteemed Mr. Aurent, I just wanted to inspect my purchase,” Hux said, knowing that because he intended to pay him ten times what a slave would normally go for, Mr. Aurent would not be eager to upset him.

“Of course, I would never sell inferior merchandise, but you are free to double-check that my very high standards have been met,” Aurent said. “I guarantee that you will not be disappointed.”

Aurent led him to the back where the slaves were being temporarily held in small cells.

His, like most of the others, sat slumped against the wall, his collar chained to the wall and shackles to the floor. When Aurent opened the cell door and Hux stepped in, he didn’t look up. Hux knelt and gently lifted his head. He was as bewitching as Hux remembered him, but he didn’t even see Hux.

“When will these drugs wear off,” Hux asked.

“Usually 12 hours,” Aurent said, “There may be some side effects after that for a day or so, but, take my word, he is quite healthy.”

“Who was his previous owner?” Hux asked.

Aurent laughed, “He didn’t have one. If you can believe, his own father sold him. The underhanded scoundrel owed me fifty thousand for a shipment I never received. He insisted on half the profit from the sale. A shrewd man, that one. I would have tried to bargain him down to a quarter if I had known he would go for so much.”

 

—————

 

 


	2. Captor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> As much as he hated being a prisoner, he would rather live the rest of his life in a cage than be forced to spend another night with his captor. He couldn’t think of anything more demeaning or dehumanizing.
> 
> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> Hux brings home his new, most cherished possession. But it looks like it's going to take a lot of work to put this unruly slave in his place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow. I can't believe the response already.  
> I sure hope I don't disappoint anybody. Eeeeep!
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings for: Non-consensual sex and non-consensual bondage.

 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

 

He woke. Vague, blurry shapes came into focus slowly enough to make him uneasy. A shooting pain stabbed between his eyes. An invasive hum throbbed in his ears. Something in the back of his head told him that he should be cuffed and lying on the cold floor of a cell, but he was in a comfortable bed. He sat up. The motion made him nauseous. It felt like his brain was rubbing the inside of his skull. He didn’t recognize his surroundings. What happened? What was the last thing he remembered?

—Some men grabbing him and muscling him into a vehicle—

He didn’t remember anything after that.

As his vision began to focus, he realized that one of the vague shapes was a person standing over him.

“Hey,” the person said. It was a male voice.

“Hi,” he said.

“Water?” The man offered him a glass of water.

“Thank you.” He shakily took the glass and the man helped him tilt it to his lips.

“What’s your name?” the man asked.

“Ben,” he said. ”Ben Solo.”

“Ben, I’m General Armitage Hux,” the man said.

Ben handed the glass back to Hux. “I suppose I should thank you for saving me,” Ben said.

“Saving you?” Hux asked.

“Yeah, from those guys that grabbed me?” Ben said and started to get out of the bed. He noticed he was wearing nothing but a bathrobe and pulled the sheet back over himself.

“They said my father owed them some money, and we got into a bit of a scuffle and...Oh! Where is my father?” Ben said, jumping to his feet, disregarding his skimpy attire. He instantly realized that he should not have done that, losing his balance as the room swayed.

Hux caught him before he fell and lowered him back down onto the bed.

“You were drugged,” Hux said, “You should rest for a while longer.”

Hux got him more water. He sat on the edge of the bed and helped Ben drink it. Hux put the empty glass on the bedstand then petted Ben’s hair. That made Ben feel rather uncomfortable.

“Uh, but I need to find out if my father’s okay,” Ben said

Hux said, “The smuggler? Don’t you know? He sold you to pay off a debt.”

“What?” Ben said, not believing him.

“I bought you. You belong to me.”

“You’re lying!” Ben jumped out of the bed and ran for the door.

Hux gripped his arm, “Listen! I said I bought you, and I paid a lot of money.”  Hux grabbed something from the desk and shook it in Ben’s face.

A repulsion stabbed Ben’s brain, a memory, or a nightmare: A collar choking him as it was tightened around his neck--chains around his wrists--being dragged somewhere where there were bright lights and lots of noise. He lost his balance again trying to pull away from Hux.

“I took this off to be nice, but if you’d rather I can put it back on,” Hux said, throwing the collar and chain on the table. He shoved Ben backward. Ben flopped on the bed. The room churned. 

“Let me go!” Ben screamed. He kicked at Hux as he scrambled backward, falling off the side of the bed. Hux grappled him around the shoulders and easily flung him back onto the bed. Ben twisted away from Hux, pulling out of the bathrobe. He shuffled off the other side, landing on his stomach. The room spun faster. His head pounded, and he gasped to keep from throwing up. It felt like being dunked repeatedly under water while being kicked in the head. He wasn’t sure where he thought he was going; he only had one thought in his head: _Get away_.

Hux caught him once more and heaved him back onto the bed, this time landing on top of him to make sure he couldn't scurry off again. Hux held his arms down, straddling his hips. Ben screamed and struggled, but Hux seemed inhumanly strong.

“I paid for you, and I’m going to get my money’s worth,” Hux said.

Hux stretched across the bed to reach for something in the bed stand drawer. Ben clawed at Hux’s shirt. Hux grasped both of his wrists and flipped him over.

Hux dipped his fingers into the jar he had retrieved from the drawer, and, holding Ben down with his other hand, ran his hand along his lower back then jammed a slicked finger into him. Ben gasped, stunned for a second. It felt so unnatural. He unwittingly stopped struggling, seized by a sensation he never felt before.

“See, you like that,” Hux said.

“No...no...I don’t,” Ben grunts.

Wrapping his arm around Ben’s chest, Hux pinched his nipple.

“Ahhh!” Ben shuddered. He felt his traitorous body responding to the sensuous touches.

_Nononono I hate this I hate this I hate this._

“Your nipples have gotten hard from one little touch,” Hux muttered.

As Hux kissed Ben between his shoulder blades and up to the crest of his neck, he ran his hand down Ben’s stomach, between his legs.

“And you’ve gotten hard, here, too. So don’t lie to me about how you don’t like this,” Hux said, teasing a thumbnail along Ben’s erection.

“Stop!” Ben cried. His lower belly clenched as Hux’s warm hand encircled him.

“It’s okay, I’ll be very gentle with you.” Hux wiggled two fingers into Ben, groping until he found a spot that sent a jolt of pleasure through Ben's body, all the way up into his chest. Ben bellowed, his arms and legs giving out.

Hux removed his fingers, pulled Ben’s rear up, and lowered the front of his pants. Ben felt something hotter and silkier than fingers nudge between his ass cheeks.

_Nononononononono--_

Hux grabbed his hips.

_IhatethisIhatethisIhate--_

Ben lurched, crying out, coming from a single thrust. 

“You couldn’t wait, could you? You _hate_ it so much,” Hux laughed.

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

When Hux finished, he lay next to Ben.

“That was nice, wasn’t it?” He said, putting his arm around him.

Ben shrank away from him, curling up, trembling, bruises blooming on his arms, neck, and hips.

The bruises made Hux sick to his stomach, so he covered Ben with a blanket. 

Hux couldn't sleep. He sat on the divan and watched Ben, troubling over why Ben hadn’t responded to him in the way he had hoped. 

_What, did I think he was just going to fall head over heels instantly in love with me?_

When he left for work the next morning, Ben was still asleep, and Hux didn’t want to wake him.

Hux grew more despondent the more he thought about how Ben had shunned him. He wished that Ben would return the love he felt for him. Ben was so stubborn, though, rejecting his kindness. It was because of his upbringing, Hux concluded, his scoundrel of a father. When Ben had helped him on Kallumond, his father had been angry and probably reprimanded him for helping a stranger without getting anything in return. Ben had been so innocent and kind, and his father had turned him into an unruly miscreant. But Hux wasn’t going to be dissuaded so easily. It was just going to take a bit more work than he had anticipated.

 

When Hux returned to his quarters at the end of his shift, Ben wasn’t in the bed. He found Ben naked and shaking on the refresher floor.

“Ben!”

_Those damned bastards, he must be having a reaction to the drugs they gave him._

Hux touched him. His skin was freezing cold.

Ben flinched. He groaned weakly, “no.”

_He’s afraid of me. No, this isn’t what I wanted._

“I’m trying to help you!” Hux clutched Ben’s arm, yanking him to his feet, and carried Ben to the bed.

Hux called a medical droid, who brought him medication to counteract the drug withdrawal. Hux watched as the droid gave Ben the injection.

“Will it take long to work?” Hux asked the droid.

“A few hours,” the droid said, “So that the medication doesn’t make him sick, he should eat something.”

Only then did Hux realize Ben hadn’t had anything to eat since he bought him. He mixed up some protein flakes and hot water, and brought the bowl of mush to Ben.

“Eat, you’re probably hungry,” Hux said.

Ben shook his head, “I don’t feel good.”

“You will feel better if you eat something.”

“I don’t want anything.”

“I said eat!” Hux shouted.

Ben looked away from him.

Hux sighed, “I know, I’m not a good cook. So if you’d rather go hungry, fine.” He started to take the bowl away.

“Uh,” Ben said, “No, I’ll eat it, it looks good.”

He ate it.

As Hux took the empty bowl, Ben said, “Thank you, I do feel a bit better.” Hux smiled at him.

Hux worked at his desk for a few hours, glancing over at Ben every few minutes.

_There could be promise for Ben, yet. After all, he ate the food I made for him--under a bit of coercion--and thanked me._

By the time he got ready for bed, Ben was asleep. Since he did not want to wake him, he again spent the night on the divan.

 

The next morning, Hux made Ben breakfast, reconstituted egg powder.

Ben picked at it and said without looking up, “Please, let me leave.”

Hux scowled. “Unless you can pay me back the five hundred thousand credits I paid for you, you are mine.”

Ben sulked at the plate of food, setting the fork to the side.

“Is it really so bad?” Hux grabbed a bite off the plate. “Look, I’m not trying to poison you.”

Ben looked at him with such sadness that Hux had to turn away.

“I have to go to work. Trying to escape will be futile. I would recommend obeying my orders, it will be easier for both of us.” Hux pushed the chain and collar around idly on the table as a reminder. He left without a backward glance.

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

Ben set the food tray on the table. He stumbled to the kitchenette to get some water. He felt better than the day before, but he still felt shaky and fuzzy-headed.

He looked around for a knife or any kind of weapon, but the drawers, cupboards, and closet doors all had DNA locks. He tried the entry door, but it also had a DNA lock.

If he could get the computer to work, maybe he could send out a signal to someone who could rescue him. His father was probably captured, too, but he could contact some of his father’s friends. Or, at the very least, figure out where he was. But, unsurprisingly, the computer was also DNA locked--Unsurprising, but frustrating.

Ben yelled a string of curses in every language he knew. He pounded his fists on the computer console. He threw the tray of food. He kicked the front door until he wore himself out.

There was nothing left to do but re-check all the cupboards and doors over and over. Eventually conceding it was futile, just as Hux had said, he plopped down to the floor, disheartened and tired. He looked at the tray of food he had thrown against the wall, and, feeling disgusted with himself for acting so infantile, he started to clean up the mess. As he picked up the fork, he realized it was the closest thing he had to a weapon, so he hid it under the pillow.

His headache had gotten worse from his outburst. He slumped against the wall. He may not have been in a condition to fight, but that didn't mean he had to willingly do anything for Hux. If Hux wanted something from him, he would have to force him. 

Anxiety overtook his anger as he anticipated Hux's return. Then fear. Then dread. As much as he hated being a prisoner, he would rather live the rest of his life in a cage than be forced to spend another night with his captor. He couldn’t think of anything more demeaning or dehumanizing.

 

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

Hux entered the room accompanied by a droid holding a tray of food.

Ben sat on the floor against the wall, his knees to his chest.

Hux smiled, “You don’t have to sit on the floor, I have plenty of furniture. I got us some decent food.” The droid set the tray on the table and exited.

Hux knelt in front of Ben when he didn’t respond. Ben looked glassy-eyed, apparently, he had been crying. Hux put his arm out slowly to touch him. Ben didn’t flinch away, but wouldn’t look at him.

“Have dinner with me like a civilized being,” Hux said.

Hux tried to pull him up, but he refused to stand.

“Stop being so obstinate! I’ve been nothing but kind to you,” Hux shouted at him. “You want to act like an animal, then I’ll treat you like one!” Hux threw the food at him. Ben shielded his face with his arm but not fast enough. The flung tray hit him in the face. 

Hux went to his desk. “If you think pissing me off is going to convince me to let you go, you are quite wrong. I would sooner put a blaster bolt in your head.”

After a few minutes, Hux turned back to him. Ben still sat in the scattered food, his head tucked in his arms.

Hux said, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

Hux called for a droid to clean up the mess. 

“Alright, get up and go take a shower, I’m not letting you in my bed like that.” Ben refused to move, so Hux dragged him into the refresher and into the shower. Leaving Ben in his robe, he turned the cold water on. “If you want warm water, you can stand up like a human being and adjust it yourself.”

Ben curled up shivering under the water.

“Fine,” Hux said and left the refresher. A few minutes later, the water turned off. When Ben didn't appear in the refresher doorway, Hux peeked in. Ben stood there, naked and dripping wet, hugging his arms.

“I couldn’t find a towel,” Ben said. Hux rushed to get him a fresh towel from the closet.

He looked at Ben’s face, touching the cut that the tray had made. He found some bacta in the cupboard and dabbed a bit on the cut. “That’s better,” Hux said.

Hux smiled at him. He led him to the bed, laid him down, and started caressing his chest and nipples.

“This is nice, right?” Hux said.

Hux kissed him. Ben pushed him away. Hux grabbed his arms and kissed him again more vehemently.

Ben's lips and tongue were just as luscious as Hux imagined they would be.

Hux rubbed between his legs.  

“No,” Ben said.

“Just relax,” Hux said, prodding with a finger. 

Holding Ben’s hands above his head, Hux reached for the jar of lube sitting on the stand by the bed. 

He released Ben to put the lube on his fingers. Ben swiped his hand under the pillow for the fork, but Hux caught his arm--And laughed when he saw that it was a fork.

“What?” Hux said, “What are you going to do with that?”

He yanked the fork out of Ben’s hand and tossed it away.  

“You still don’t get it, do you?” Hux said, pinning his hands. “Maybe it’s my own fault for not explaining the situation very well, so allow me to make things perfectly clear.”

He got off Ben and fetched the collar and chain from the table. Ben scrambled off the bed, but Hux pounced on him. Ben tried to fight him, but Hux overpowered him, pulling his arms behind his back and sitting on him. Hux fastened the collar around his neck then locked the chain to the foot of the bed so low that Ben couldn't stand up or even sit up.

“Let me go!” Ben shouted. He tried to pull the collar off, but it had an electronic clasp. 

Hux sat at his desk, and, ignoring Ben, concentrated on his work.

Ben shouted expletives at him in a number of different languages. Hux ignored him for while. Then requested another tray of food.

After the food was delivered, Hux sat at the table, eating.

He brought Ben a morsel.

“Are you ready to be a good boy?” He asked sardonically. Ben pressed his lips together. Hux jammed his thumb into his cheek, prying his mouth open, and shoved in the bite. Ben spat it at him.

“Fine,” Hux said and went back to the table and finished eating. He showered and got in the bed, leaving Ben tied on the floor.

Ben rattled the bed. “Are you just going to leave me here all night?” 

“I’ll leave you there longer than that if you’re going to keep acting like an uncivilized savage,” Hux said. 

Ben rammed and shook the bed until he couldn't anymore, then rested for a time, then rammed and shook the bed again. 

 

By morning, Ben had exhausted himself, so lay nearly motionless while Hux performed his usual morning routine. He didn't make Ben breakfast. Instead, he sent a request for a droid to bring him a hank of 6mm jute rope.

Hux ate his own breakfast while looking over his data pad. The droid delivered the rope. 

Unwinding a section of rope, Hux approached Ben, but Ben flailed his legs at him. Hux stomped on Ben’s leg then grabbed his other leg, pulling it back to force him onto his stomach.

“You were not a good boy last night. I do not reward poor behavior,” Hux said.

Kneeling on his legs, Hux pulled Ben’s arms behind him and tied his wrists together. He wrapped the rope around Ben’s upper thigh and, bending Ben's leg back as far as it would go, tied the rope around his ankle so that his calf touched the back of his thigh. Hux wrapped the rope around a few times. He did the same with the other leg, fastening the end to his tied wrists. Hux then tied Ben’s arms as close together as they would go, all the way up in a ladder pattern. Hux got up, leaving Ben on his stomach.  
  
He walked out the door, saying nothing else.  
  
Ben rolled onto his side and yelled at him, “Wait! You can’t leave me like this. I’m...I’m sorry...please.”  
  
Hux didn't look back at him as the door closed behind him.

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning: It gets worse before it gets better. Much worse.


	3. Master

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> I hate you. I hate your cruelty. I hate your kindness. I hate what you've made me. I hate that I allowed you to do it. I hate myself.
> 
> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> It appears that Hux's reluctant new possession can be taught obedience, after all, it just takes a firm hand and a little persistence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for non-consensual sex (and a lot of it. Somehow, I managed to put three sex scenes in this chapter).

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

If he kept still long enough and didn't squirm, his arms and legs stopped aching from the unnatural position, becoming numb instead. He had spent the night kicking Hux’s bed so was too exhausted to pull out of the ropes. The rope chafed and pinched when he wiggled. He eventually decided it was probably better to stay still.

He was so thirsty, too.

Also, he had to urinate.

_Hux was right, he had been kind, had made me breakfast and got me medicine._

_No--no--no, he has taken away my freedom, he’s violated me._

_Yet, that would have been the case regardless, now I am tied like an animal because of my own stubbornness._ _I could have had a warm bed, and a nice, hot breakfast. But I spent the night chained, on the floor. Hux would have unchained me if I had been good and hadn't kept him awake by kicking the bed all night--He would have never have chained me up at all if I had been good and ate dinner with him like a civilized person. Now I'm aching, hungry, thirsty, and have to pee._

_When is Hux coming back? When did he leave? How long have I been lying here?_

He may have fallen asleep once or twice, which he wouldn’t have thought possible with how uncomfortable he was. 

He didn't want Hux to come back--he didn't want to ever have to see Hux again--but he also didn't want to be tied any longer. He wondered how long he could be bound like that until the blood flow was cut off too long. His legs looked okay, bright pink, thankfully, not purple, but he couldn’t see his arms.

 

It felt like an eternity before the door opened and Hux stepped in. Ben stayed still and quiet for a few moments. Hux removed his jacket and turned on the computer at his desk. He didn’t even look at Ben.

He wouldn’t leave him tied there indefinitely, would he? Hux had already proven to be far more cruel than Ben thought anyone could be to another person. Would it be more of a risk to get his attention or to wait? He worried that if he didn’t get Hux’s attention, he would lie there for another night. And he really had to urinate.

“Hux,” Ben rasped. Hux went to him and knelt down.

Lifting Ben’s head, his eyes sparkling, Hux said, “That’s the first time you’ve called me by my name.”

Hux unfastened the chain from the bed, pulling Ben up onto his knees. Ben coughed.

“I imagine you might be thirsty,” Hux said stroking Ben behind his ear.

Ben nodded.

Hux went to the kitchenette and brought out a cold bottle of water. He set it on the table.

“I’m a reasonable man. I reward good behavior. Will you be good for me?”

Ben swallowed, then nodded.

Hux shoved his fingers into Ben’s mouth.

“Get them nice and wet,” Hux said.

Ben resisted the immediate urge to bite him, repeating in his head, _must be good must be good_ , and licked and sucked on his fingers. Hux pulled his fingers out of Ben’s mouth and, making Ben bend forward, slid them between his legs and into him.

Ben tried to ignore the sensuous fondling and the pressure on his bladder by focusing on the bottle of water on the table.

Condensation had gathered on the bottle.

A drop slid down.

 

Hux was then in front of him, again, naked. Holding Ben by the ears, he lifted Ben’s face to his groin.

“You know what to do,” Hux said.

“I...I can’t,” Ben said. He didn’t think he had any saliva left.

“Well, we can try it dry, if you want,” Hux said.

Ben squeezed his eyes shut. Hux nudged himself against Ben’s parted lips and Ben opened wider.

“As wide as you can--no teeth,” Hux said.

Ben wanted to bite him--he wanted to bite him so badly--but he slobbered as much as he could as Hux swelled in his mouth. Ben breathed with short, desperate sniffles through his nose as his airway was choked. Hux guided Ben’s head back and forth, pushing in too far a few times and making Ben gag.

Removing himself from Ben’s mouth, Hux unfastened the collar and lifted Ben onto the bed, positioning him so that his knees hung off. Hux parted Ben’s ass cheeks and, as Ben started to slide off, used Ben’s own weight to help push him onto him.

Ben winced out loud. Saliva didn’t make very good lubrication. It burned from too much friction. But that harsh sensation was about to be overcome by another--

A stinging, tingling sensation--blood rushing back into his arms--as Hux untied him. Hux moved down his arms, slowing unwinding the rope. When his wrists were undone, his arms hurt too much to move them, so he let them fall limply to his side. Hux then untied his legs. They were so stiff and sore, he couldn’t extend them right away.

Hux rubbed his back and kissed the nape of his neck. Ben ached all over, sore and numb and tingling, but Hux’s slow movements began to feel good. He heard himself moaning and pressed his face into the bedding. He bent his elbows, his arms beginning to throb as the tingling faded. His erection rubbed against the silky duvet cover. The pressure in his bladder became a painful stitch. The soft caresses inside and out melded with the agonies and Ben wasn’t sure if he was in exquisite pain or terrible ecstasy.

Hux reached around him, pulling his hips slightly away from the edge, and stroked him. Ben’s toes touched the floor. His legs tremored weakly, but Hux held him, pulling him into his thrusts.  

“Ah...yes...Not yet,” Hux said. “Not yet...Wait for me...Wait.”

Ben’s entire body trembled. He clutched the bedding. He didn’t think he _could_ wait.

Hux rocked faster. His fingers grasped Ben tightly, preventing him from coming too soon.

In Hux’s expert hands, clamping then stroking in precise timing, he and Ben came simultaneously. Ben gasped soundlessly, his brain short circuited, overwhelmed by clashing sensations. Hux let him fall onto the bed, easing him back up as he started to slump off.

“You really enjoyed that, didn't you?” Hux said, kissing Ben on the back of his head, “And you were very good for me.”

Hux got up and brought him the water. Ben was too tired and sore to lift his head. Hux helped him into a sitting position, then lifted the bottle to his lips. A bit dribbled down his chin. Hux smiled and wiped it with his thumb.

“Thank you,” Ben muttered.

Hux sat next to him, letting him lean on his chest. Hux petted his head and rubbed his shoulders and back. He kissed his hair and said, “You’re beautiful, Ben.”

Ben could have fallen asleep there on Hux's chest.

_How can you feel so warm and gentle after being so cold and heartless?_

After a bit, Hux got up and pulled on his robe. “I have some work to do, but you rest,” he said.

Ben curled on the bed. It was so comfortable, he wanted to fall asleep, but he still had to urinate. He eventually had to give in to biology and got up. His legs wobbled, and he grabbed the nightstand for balance.

Hux helped him to the refresher, even letting Ben lean on him as he urinated. Hux wiped the semen off Ben’s belly with a damp towel, then helped him back to the bed. Hux yanked off the semen stained duvet cover and lowered Ben onto the bed, arranging the pillows under his head. He brought a fresh comforter from the closet and draped it over him.

Hux worked for a while longer, and Ben drifted off. 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

Hux couldn’t bear sleeping apart from Ben any longer, so he slid into bed next to him, careful to not wake him. He brushed Ben’s lips with his fingertips. So pretty, he thought. And he’s mine, all mine.

In the morning, Hux made Ben breakfast and brought it to him before he awoke. Hux kissed him. Ben startled awake.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” Hux said. “I brought you breakfast. It’s, ah, it’s not much, but I hope you like eggs...”

Ben sat up, and Hux put the tray in front of him. Ben smiled at him and began eating ravenously. “This is really good. I haven’t had—”

Hux grabbed Ben’s wrist.

Ben dropped the fork and looked at him with wide-eyed distress. “What’s wrong?”

Hux pushed the tray aside and yanked Ben out of bed.

He pulled Ben into the refresher. "Your arms—” Ben’s arms, covered with bruises, abrasions, and broken blisters, looked much worse than they had the night before. “I’m sorry, Ben, I should have treated these last night, I shouldn't have let them get this bad,” Hux said as he put bacta on the wounds.

“These are nothing, Hux. I’ve had worse.” Ben touched Hux’s hand and Hux looked at him, into those kind, innocent eyes that he remembered from Kallumond.  
Ben said, “You were right, I wasn’t grateful for your kindness. I’m sorry.”

Hux finished applying the bacta to his arms and legs.

“I have to get to my shift. Enjoy your breakfast,” Hux said. As he hurried out, he said, “Oh, and I’ll have some clothes brought for you.”

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

Ben ate breakfast and looked at his arms. He blinked as tears formed in his eyes.

_What am I doing?_

He threw the food against the wall and upturned the table.

_Have I actually **apologized** to my captor? Am I now eating his food and smiling at him after what he has done to me? Am I now wearing that monster’s robe and sitting complacently at his table?_

He screamed until he didn’t have a voice any longer. He knocked over all the furniture. He pounded on the computer console, but the screens remained black--coded only to Hux’s DNA. He may as well have been in a prison cell. No--this was worse than a prison cell.

A beep at the door startled him. He cautiously approached the door and touched the pad, and, to his as astonishment, the door opened. Hux had left it unlocked. A droid with a case stood in the doorway.

“General Hux wanted me to deliver these,” The droid said.

“...yes, uh, thank you,” Ben said as the droid handed him the case. The droid walked away. Ben looked around. He had not been sure where he was. He knew that he must have been on some military installation from the way Hux dressed every morning. He seemed to be on a very large starship.

Stormtroopers in bone-white armor walked by him. He had never seen stormtroopers up close before. They were as ominous and frightful as he had imagined with their skull-like masks. He felt suddenly very vulnerable as he stood there in only a robe. Hux had said that it would be futile to try to run. He did not doubt him. He closed the door.

He dressed in the outfit the droid had brought him: A silk, button-up suit with a high collar and shiny black shoes. It fit him perfectly. He didn’t think that he had dressed so formally in his life. Well, now he could look dapper while he sat around being a prisoner.

He tried to use the computer again, but it wouldn’t turn on for him. He tried the door, again. It opened. He wondered if it was some kind of test. Hux had chained him all night for refusing to eat, then bound him all day for kicking the bed. He didn’t want to think about what Hux might do if he caught him trying to escape.

He may not get another chance like this, though. If he could manage to make his way undetected to a hanger, find a ship, lower the shields...all on own...it seemed too dauntless...he was sure to get caught.

Another group of Stormtroopers turned down the hall. He watched as they walked past, their blasters held to their chests, at the ready. They didn’t acknowledge his presence, but, as he couldn't see their faces, he wasn't sure. They may have been eyeing him as they passed him. Hux probably instructed them to keep an eye on him, not to engage him unless he tried to run. He closed the door, a cold pit forming in his stomach.

_This is my life, now. I may be well dressed and well fed, but I am a prisoner and slave._

Audacity, which had gotten him out of desperate situations in the past, wasn’t going to gain him any ground in this one. He knew how it worked: If he was good, then Hux would be kind to him; If he wasn’t, Hux would be very angry. He never wanted to see Hux that angry again. So he cleaned the room, righted the furniture, then he sat at the table and did nothing, waiting for Hux to return.

 

When Hux returned at the end of the day, Ben got up to greet him.

“Ben, you look exquisite,” Hux said.

“Thank you, Hux, the clothes are wonderful and a perfect fit,” Ben said. “I’ve never owned anything this nice before.”

“You look so good, I want to show you off,” Hux said. “I’ll give you a tour of the ship, then we can have dinner in the Officers’ Lounge.” He led Ben out by the arm.

Ben walked next to him while Hux took him to the bridge. Most of the crew would glance in their direction only to then quickly divert their gaze. Ben felt every bit like he was being ‘shown off’, a luxury item, something to make the other officers covetous. Hux wanted them to see but not gawk.

Hux took him to the Officers’ Lounge. The officers in the lounge were talking to each other casually with an attitude incongruous compared to the formality shown on the rest of the ship. There were even a few Stormtroopers with their masks removed—merely humans underneath. Hux and Ben approached a group of three officers—Ben was unsure of their ranks—and one Stormtrooper—a very shiny one—with her helmet removed. They all saluted the General.

“Good evening,” Hux greeted them. Ben bit his lip and cast his eyes downward.

An officer looked Ben up and down then smiled to Hux, “Well, General, we had heard he was pretty, but he is downright gorgeous.”

“He looks a little shy, too,” said the Stormtrooper.

“Don’t let him fool you,” Hux said, “he’s a real live wire.”

One of the officers touched Ben’s arm. Ben flinched away.

Hux protectively stepped between them, glaring at the officer

“I apologize, General,” the officer said.

“Yes, well, have a nice evening,” Hux said to the group and led Ben to a table where Hux ordered them both drinks.

He looked at Ben with an adoration Ben didn’t understand or want. Why would a General of the First Order love him to begin with? And, if he did love him, why would he claim him as if he was a mere possession and treat him with the brutality that he wouldn't expect the First Order to treat even their most despised prisoners. It was a look of strange, distorted love that he could never return—That he would never desire to return.

Later, back in their room, Hux petted and fondled Ben as he undressed.

“You know, I think you’re even more beautiful without the clothing,” Hux said. He brushed his fingertips over Ben’s chest. Ben closed his eyes, trying to ignore how it made him feel.

Hux said, “I’m sorry lieutenant Mitaka touched you--I told them not to. I’ll have him punished tomorrow.”

“Oh no, it’s okay, you don’t have to do that,” Ben said.

“It’s not okay. I have to keep this ship in a tight grip, I can’t let any disrespect by my crew slip by, particularly to my beautiful property,” Hux said, caressing Ben’s cheek and pulling him close for a kiss. It felt so good--but so wrong.

Hux laid Ben on the bed and lavished him with kisses.

Ben thought of something else, anything else, to keep from enjoying it.

\--Kissing every bruise on his arms—Licking and biting his nipples--small, gentle nips from his stomach down to his navel--Lips brushing the rope burns on his thighs.

Ben thought of bar fights and smoky game halls and back-alley deals with people he wouldn’t trust as far as he could throw them.

Pushing up on Ben’s thighs, lifting his legs apart, Hux shoved a pillow under him to get the angle he wanted. He spread Ben’s ass as his head went between his legs. Ben clenched as Hux flicked his tongue in and out.

Ben clawed the sheets. He thought of trudging through a swamp when his father’s ship broke down, he thought of getting beaten up by gangsters who double-crossed them, he thought of—

“aaaahhhh...”

Ben moaned as Hux began massaging him as he worked his hole with his tongue. Hux then licked his fingers and inserted them. He wrapped his lips around the tip of Ben’s stiffening member. Ben tensed.

Hux eased down on him until he felt the back of Hux’s throat, then slowly came up.

Ben held his breath as Hux went down again, forcing his eyes to the ceiling, gritting his teeth. He wouldn’t allow himself to be taken by the moment like last time. It felt too good to be wrong--But it was wrong.

Hux lapped the tip teasingly with his tongue, then sat up. Ben caught him grinning at him in the edge of his vision. Hux slicked himself up and positioned himself without turning Ben over. He was going to force Ben to look at him. As Hux guided himself in, Ben threw his head back.

Hux grabbed Ben’s hair. “Look at me, Ben,” Hux said.

Ben looked at him for a second or two. Then Hux withdrew and hammered in. Ben groaned and squeezed his eyes shut.

“Look. At. Me.” Hux said, pressing Ben’s eyelids up with his thumbs.

“Nnghh!” Ben whimpered.

Forgoing making Ben look at him, Hux lifted Ben’s knees. Ben focused on the ceiling.

 _I_ _t will be over soon._ “Ugh!” _It feels so good. No, it doesn’t! It feels wrong. This is wrong._ “Unngh!” _No, it’s so good. You make me feel so good. You’ve destroyed my world, my life. I hate you!_ “Ooohh!” _I can’t love you. I would be no better than you._ “No!” _No! Why does this feel so good?_

“Yes!”

“Wait. Wait. Not yet,” Hux said.

“I can’t!” Ben cried, “I can’t!”

“Wait....now...now...nngh!”

“Uhhnghh!” Ben came on his own belly as Hux’s orgasm shuddered through both of them.

Hux collapsed next to him, putting his arm over Ben’s heaving chest.

“You’re so beautiful when you come,” Hux sighed into his ear.

They lay together for a moment, Hux breathing hotly into Ben’s hair, Ben staring at the ceiling ignoring the warm, lovely tingling in his lower body. Hux leaned over him, putting his hands on either side of his head, looking down at him. “Go take a shower,” Hux said and gave him a sweet kiss. Ben obeyed.

As he washed off, letting the hot water pelt his face, he realized that he was crying. He had to find a way out. He had to find his father. He should have taken the chance he had when Hux left the door unlocked. He promised himself that he would take the next opportunity he got, no matter how slight the chance of success.

When Ben got back into bed, Hux rolled off and took his turn in the refresher. Ben heard the shower. He got up and quietly checked the door. Locked. He got back into bed, pulling the comforter around him.

Hux came out with a robe on and sat at his desk for a while, working.

“Hux?” Ben said.

Hux turned to him, “Yes, My Love?”

A pit in Ben’s stomach burned at that monster calling him by that affectionate name.

“As a favor to me, please don’t punish the lieutenant,” Ben said.

“Why? Did you like being touched by him?” Hux said darkly.

“He was only touching my sleeve to feel the quality of the fabric,” Ben said.

Hux frowned at him. “Very well,” he said.

Ben said, “Thank you.”

 

The next morning, Hux told Ben as he brought him breakfast and sat on the edge of the bed, “I have to go back to Coruscant next month. If you are very good, I will take you with me.”

That could be his chance to escape, Ben thought.

“That sounds nice,” Ben said.

“Great! I have business there, but when I’m done, I’ll take you shopping. We can get you some new clothes, anything you like.” Hux said.

Ben nodded.

They ate breakfast together, and Hux went to work.

Ben sat at the table for a while then lay on the bed. If he could escape on Coruscant, Hux would never be able to find him. Even if his father had been captured, too, his father knew many people on Coruscant. If he could use the computer, he could send a message to let someone know, find someone to help him. Even if transmissions were limited, he could probably still send a coded signal. His father had taught him some of the codes that pirates used to send messages undetected. 

He tried rubbing Hux’s clothes on the console, then the sheet, but any DNA left on them wasn’t enough to signal the lock.

He would have to be extra-pleasant to Hux and not let him become suspicious. Maybe he would unlock the computer for him--if he asked very, very nicely. 

 

For the next few days, Ben smiled and greeted Hux when he returned from work. Hux brought dinner, and they ate together. After, Hux pulled Ben to the bed, unclothed him and cuddled with him.

It sickened him when he allowed himself to enjoy the tenderness that Hux showed him. It sickened him that he was a coward. A brave man would have fought ceaselessly, even if it meant pain or even death. He told himself over and over that staying alive was more important than pride or courage, that bravery would be foolish. Antagonizing Hux only made him tighten his grip. Ben hoped that by placating him, Hux would become lax enough in his vigilance that he could attempt an escape.

Ben tried to be as gracious as he could, but when Hux led him to the bed, Ben felt like he was being led to his execution. 

_I hate you. I hate your cruelty. I hate your kindness. I hate what you've made me. I hate that I allowed you to do it._

His legs wrapped intimately around Hux’s waist, Ben closed his eyes and ignored the warmth of their chests touching and Hux’s arms around him, ignored the jolts of pleasure as Hux bounced him on his lap. He tried to pull himself out of his body, out of the room, somewhere else, anywhere else. He tasted a mild flavor on his tongue and warmth touching his lips--Hux was kissing him. He curled his arm over Hux’s shoulder so that he could bite his own fist instead while Hux ravaged his neck.

When they were done, Hux kissed Ben on the forehead and said, "Sleep well, My Love." He put on his robe, dimmed the lights, and sat at his desk for a few hours to do his evening work.

Thinking Ben was sleeping, he slipped into bed next to him, sliding his arm around him carefully so as not to wake him. Ben was not asleep, could not sleep, but he didn’t let Hux know. 

_What would you think, father, to see me here, in this bed, sleeping with the enemy? He said you sold me, but I know that's not true. You may deal with some unscrupulous people, but you have goodness and integrity. I know you would fight tooth and nail to get me back if you knew I was here. I'm a coward. I've always aspired to be like you, father, I'm sorry I failed you. I wouldn't blame you if you hated me. I hate myself._

He stared into the blackness until the programmed lights gradually brightened, signaling 'morning'.

 

Hux, as usual, made him breakfast, something new, though, pan fried, doughy cakes. Ben thought they were rather delicious.

Hux ran his fingers through Ben's hair. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes."

"That's good," Hux said.

Hux was in a cheerful mood, so Ben chanced asking, “Might I ask a favor?”

Hux's smile flattened to a grim line and he glared at him, “Another one?”

“Uh, yes, I guess. But, would it be possible to unlock the computer for me? I don’t have anything to do all day,” Ben said demurely.

Hus scowled, his cheer evaporating and eyes darkening, “You don’t need anything to do. You need to look pretty for me, that’s all you need to do.”

Hux got up and hastily left.

Ben hadn’t meant to upset him. He hoped he hadn’t ruined his opportunity to escape. Moreover, he hoped that Hux wouldn't still be angry with him when he returned. 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 


	4. Subjugator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> How can you say you love me when you treat me like I’m not even a person? Your gentleness, My Love, is even more hurtful than your brutality.
> 
> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> Hux was happiest when he could just be with Ben, feeling his warm body up against his, stroking his hair and listening to his breathing. It made waiting those years to find him again worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah...l'amour*

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

A cold feeling of dread grew heavier and looming as the hours passed.

Hux was still mad. Ben knew it. He knew he was. Ben knew in the pit of his stomach that Hux was going to do something awful to him. He didn’t know how he knew--and maybe it was just anxiety--but he had to figure out a way to prevent it.

When Hux had glared at him that morning, he had been more than displeased, he had seemed...saddened.

Ben knew what Hux wanted from him, and he had promised himself that he would never give it to him. He would smile and speak politely and endure Hux forcing himself on him, but he refused to reciprocate any affection. Now, however, he had no choice. It was the only thing he could think of to try. It was that or face whatever torture Hux had planned for him.

He showered. He was still unable to open any cabinets or drawers, but Hux had left a towel out for him along with a few toiletries. Ben had regularly used the teeth-cleaner but had ignored everything else. He dusted his body with the mildly scented talc, brushed his hair and tied it back, and dabbed on a bit of the cologne that smelled like leather and chocolate. He cleaned his teeth and used the mouthwash.

He pulled on Hux’s robe and waited.  

Ben kept looking at the chronometer. As the time approached, then past, when Hux would normally return, Ben’s heart started to pound.

_Maybe something happened to him. This is a warship, after all. Maybe he won’t come back. Maybe a section of the ship was destroyed with him in it. Maybe he was sent on a dangerous mission and was shot through the head. Haha! That’s wishful thinking. No, of course he’ll come back. But why is he late? He’s late to make me anxious. He’s been planning something all day, and he’s only late to further distress me._

Ben jumped when the door finally opened.

Hux carried a metallic case that looked somewhat like tool box.

Ben took a deep breath and, instead of his usual cordial, but stiff, greeting, rushed to him. Ben put his arms around him. Surprised, Hux dropped the case and hugged Ben back.

Ben had the words ready and said them as genuinely as he could, “I thought about you all day.”

“What did you think about me?” Hux said, petting Ben’s head.

_That you’re a sick fucking bastard._

“That you were right to be upset this morning. I didn’t mean to sound ungrateful. You give me a warm bed, and beautiful clothes, and nice food, and I don’t want anything else. I’m very sorry. I hope you’re not still mad,” Ben said.

Hux had a distant, thoughtful expression for a moment, then smiled and said, “It’s okay, Ben.” He glanced down at the case then back up to Ben.

Ben felt a trembling in his chest. He was going to have to do more than just apologize. Ben knew it might come to this. He’d played it out in his head a hundred times that day, but now that the moment had come, he wasn’t sure he could do it. Hux was looking at him with his head slightly cocked, his hand on the back of Ben’s head as if waiting for compliance to an unspoken command.

Before he lost his nerve, Ben said, “Can I make it up to you?”

He took Hux’s hand and led him to the bed. Ben opened Hux’s jacket and slowly and deliberately unfastened his shirt--slow and deliberate because his hands shook terribly. He kissed Hux, letting Hux’s tongue rollick sloppily with his. Moving to kiss Hux’s bare chest, Ben slid his hands down his abdomen...and into the front of Hux’s pants.

He looked up at Hux. He felt like he was being too obvious, that Hux would know this was a sham, but Hux smiled at him with that same look of adoration he had frequently shown him. Ben fumbled with Hux’s belt and inelegantly pulled Hux’s pants down to his knees before realizing he needed to remove his shoes first.

Hux sat on the bed and Ben kneeled in front of him burrowing his face into his groin. Hux's prick perked up, ready for him. Ben licked it up and down and uncertainly sucked the tip. His stomach lurched as the entire thing went in his mouth. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried his best to keep from gagging. 

“Oh, Ben,” Hux moaned, stroking Ben behind his ears, threading his fingers through his hair.

Ben tried to move and suck and lick in a pleasurable way while concentrating on keeping his mouth opened wide enough. To sell the act, he made small noises and grabbed Hux’s thighs.

His jaw began to ache. He had to stop to catch his breath a few times. Gagging caused tears to well in his eyes and his nose to run. He sniffed discreetly. He figured out that if he used his hand, too, he didn’t have to go down as far. He could get a better rhythm that way, too.

“Ah yeah, rub my balls,” Hux muttered. Ben did, rolling the squishy, hairy things in his fingers. 

“Mmmmm.” Hux twitched in his mouth.

“Faster,” Hux said. Ben moved faster, but not fast enough. Hux held Ben’s jaw at the angle he wanted and moved Ben’s head at the pace he wanted. All Ben could do was open as wide as he could to keep his teeth from scraping.

Hux stopped thrusting and pushed in as far he could. Forced to swallow, Ben kept his eyes closed and focused on relaxing his throat to prevent himself from full-on retching.

After Hux removed himself, he smiled, but still looked kind of forlorn. “That was so nice, My Love, Thank You.” He kissed him on top of his head. “You enjoyed it too, right?”

Hoping that Hux wouldn’t notice that his eyes were watery, Ben sniffed and said, “Yes, I like making you happy.”

“You make me happy just by being with me,” Hux said, still petting Ben’s head, not allowing Ben to stand. Ben knew what Hux wanted him to say. Apologizing wasn’t enough. Oral sex wasn’t enough. Hux wanted something more heartfelt and meaningful.

“I’m happy being with you, too. You’re...” Ben swallowed. He trembled all over. Saying it was going to be harder than pretending to enjoy fellating him.

_I can do this. This is no problem. I can lie to you, you’re just First Order scum. I’ve lied to dozens of crooks and gangsters, this is no different, you're just another criminal lowlife. Saying it doesn't make it true._

He touched Hux’s cheek. “...you’re my love, my dear, sweet love. You treat me with kindness and want nothing except my love in return. I want to give you that love.”

It ripped his heart to say that to his captor and torturer. He felt even more like a coward--and now like a traitor.

 _No_ , _I’m not a traitor._ _Saying it doesn't make it true. You believing it doesn't make it true, either. I don't love you. I hate you more than anything. It feels good to lie to you and I wish I could do worse._

Hux’s expression changed from wistfulness to a heartbreaking joy. He pulled Ben into a tight embrace, sobbing, “Oh Ben! No one ever loved me before!” He kissed him, crying into his shoulder.

_You really are a sick fuck, aren’t you?_

When his sobbing subsided, Hux said, wiping his eyes, “I loved you the instant I saw you on Kallumond. I regretted never asking your name. I never thought I would find you again.”

Kallumond? Ben thought. He hadn’t been on Kallumond in over two years. His mind was too scattered just then to try to remember if he’d ever seen Hux there.

Hux kissed Ben mercilessly as he pushed him onto the bed to make love to him. He took much longer to finish than usual. He kept breathing into Ben’s ear, saying things like, “I love you, Ben...I’ve always loved you...you’ve always been mine...you’ll always be mine.” Ben’s stomach soured with every word.

 _How can you say you love me when you treat me like I’m not even a person? Your gentleness,_ My Love _, is even more hurtful than your brutality._

He pressed his face into the pillows, glad that he didn’t have to look at him.

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

Hux nuzzled into the back of Ben’s neck. Ben smelled nice. He always smelled nice. But he’d put on some of the cologne Hux had given him, and Hux wanted to lie there and savor the scent, savor that Ben had done something for only him because he wanted to, not because Hux forced him to, reaffirming that Ben belonged to him and no one else. He wanted to lie there for the rest of the night, holding Ben close. But Ben was probably hungry.

Hux muttered, “I didn’t bring dinner tonight. I’ll have to cook something. I know I’m a terrible cook but-”

“You’re a great cook, you sell yourself short,” Ben said, “And, I can help, too, if you want.”

Hux said, “Of course you can help.”

There wasn't much to make except dry noodle soup mix. Hux snuck a kiss and a hug from behind while Ben poured the water into the bowls, overjoyed that Ben had confided his love for him and that he did it without any coercion. Hux had wished that Ben would love him, too, but he would deign to always love Ben even if he didn’t love him back. Ben had protested early on that he didn't want to be there, but he always seemed to enjoy it when they made love. It seemed that Ben finally warmed up to his situation, deciding that having a lover and provider wasn't such a bad thing after all.

“Hmm,” Hux said as they slurped their noodles, “Do you like these?”

“They’re good,” Ben said.

“Huh. No, these are stale. They are probably three or four years old,” Hux laughed. “I’ll get some better food tomorrow. Did you like cooking with me? We should do that again.”

Ben nodded.

 

After dinner, Hux retrieved the case he’d dropped next to the door.

When he turned around, Ben had gone white. Hux thought briefly that Ben might suspect what he had in the case, but there was no way he could know.

“Are you okay, My Love?”

“...I...Uh...” Ben said.

“Those awful noodles didn’t make you sick, did they?” Hux asked, looking at Ben, concerned.

“Uh, no,” Ben said and backed up slightly.

Hux went into the walk-in closet and unpacked the case. He made sure Ben didn't see the items as he stashed them in the back of the closet--A bar with chains on either end, two leather cuffs, and a small winch. It turned out that he didn’t need them. Not that night, anyway. He wasn’t going to punish Ben for his earlier show of disrespect. Maybe another time if it happened again. If Ben continued to show his gratitude and affection the way he did that evening, he may never need to use them.

Ben still stood frozen when Hux returned to the main chamber.

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?” Hux asked.

Blinking as if he had been in a trance, Ben said, “Yeah...maybe the noodles were a little old.”

“Do you need something settle your stomach?” Hux asked, going to the refresher cupboard to get anti-nausea medication.

“Okay,” Ben said. Hux got him a glass of water and dropped some tablets into it that made the water fizz.

“Drink that, after it’s dissolved.”

Ben did. He had to burp a minute later.

“I’m sorry!” He said, clapping his hand over his mouth.

Hux smiled at him, “It’s okay, Ben. It’s just us here. But we may need to work on your manners for when we go to Coruscant. We’re going to be meeting some important people, some people I need to make some very important business deals with, and I don’t want you to embarrass me.”

“Oh, of course,” Ben said, blushing.

 

The next day, Hux took the empty metallic case with him when he left. He returned in the evening with a droid carrying a tray of food and one with some bundles of dry food items. The droids put the food away and set the table.

Ben greeted Hux with a hug and a kiss. He was dressed in the suit Hux had given him.

“Did you have a good day?” Hux asked.

“Yes,” Ben said.  

“You look nice. I like when you wear that suit. It looks so good on you,” Hux said.

Ben smiled shyly.

“I like complimenting you, too, so get used to it,” Hux laughed.

Ben’s eyes flicked to the case he was holding. The day before, that case contained the accouterments for a punishment--and Hux had graciously spared Ben from that punishment--but this evening, Hux brought Ben something to pass the time while indoctrinating him to the principles of the First Order. 

“Ah, I have something for you,” Hux said. “But after dinner." He set the case at the foot of the bed. Ben eyed it as if he expected a Garollian ghost viper to spring out.

Hux turned Ben's attention to the table where the droids had set out the plates, two Bantha ribeyes. "I managed to get us some meat--actual meat, not dried.”

Ben's eyes lit up when he saw the juicy offering. They sat to eat. The droids had put knives next to the plates. Ben shifted in his seat, apparently waiting for permission to use the knife.

Hux felt that Ben had improved significantly from the day he tried to threaten him with a fork. He looked forward to the day when they could both look back on that incident humorously.

"It's okay, you can use the knife. I trust you," Hux said. 

“This is the best steak I’ve ever had,” Ben said as he devoured the ribeye.

"I called in a few favors to get this, so you had better like it," Hux said jocosely. Ben nodded and smiled faintly. Ben acted so aloof sometimes that Hux had difficulty reading his emotions. Ben rarely voiced his liking for something without prompting. That he had become more open and amiable to Hux the past few days was a tremendous step forward.

When they finished, Ben left the knife and fork next to the plate for the droids to clear.

Hux opened the case and took out his gift for Ben, an old holo player and some tapes that he’d borrowed from the ship’s archive.

“These are required viewing for the children in the stormtrooper training program, but it’s the closest thing to entertainment I could find for you,” Hux chucked.

He set up the holo player at the foot of the bed and skimmed through the recordings, selecting one and playing it.

“Well, come here. I’ll watch a short one with you, but then I have to get some work done.” Hux patted the spot next to him on the bed. Ben joined him on the bed. Hux pulled him close, allowing him to lean on his chest.

Hux was happiest when he could just be with Ben, feeling his warm body up against his, stroking his hair and listening to his breathing. He could have a brief reprieve from his stressful military life and just enjoy the moment as if nothing else mattered in the Galaxy. It made waiting those years to find him again worth it. 

“Do you like this?” Hux asked.

“Yes...My Love, thank you.”

“Watch these any time you like, okay?”

“Okay.”

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

  
The days became routine. Ben counted every excruciating second. He endured Hux’s imperious affection and called Hux ‘My Love’ even though it felt like a stab in the gut every time he did.

Ben couldn’t stand to watch any of the holo-recordings. Many of them were old Imperial or First Order propaganda. The ones that weren’t outright propaganda still blatantly promoted First Order ideals.

Sometimes Hux would watch the holos with Ben and pontificate heatedly the greatness of the Empire and how the First Order was going to match and eventually exceed that greatness. Rhetoric about the First Order would often devolve into a diatribe about the Republic. He would get so passionate and so worked up that he would ravish Ben while the holos played, chanting the bombastic dialog and forcing Ben to respond in kind.

“Do you pledge your allegiance to the First Order?” Hux would shout along with the captain in the holo, gripping Ben’s hips tightly enough to bruise.

“Yes! Yes! Yes! I vow my life to the First Order!” Ben would reply in unison with the children stormtroopers, half overcome with pleasure and half disgusted with himself.

When Hux was gone during the day, Ben would cry in the shower, letting the cool water run down his red, puffy face, repeating to himself,

_Saying it doesn’t make it true. It’s not true. I hate the First Order. I hate you, My Love. I hate you forever._

Then, he would brush his hair, put on the cologne and the nice outfit Hux had bought for him, and wait.

Hux would bring dinner, or they would cook dinner together, work on the computer, and have sex with Ben--not always in that order. He would make Ben breakfast in the mornings and bring it to him in bed.

Ben made it through hour by hour, minute by minute, repeating in his head:

 _Just make it to Coruscant. Just make it to Coruscant_ . _Just make it to Coruscant. I’ll escape on Coruscant. I’ll be free. I just need to make it to Coruscant._

until it became a dirge, not so much full of hope as desperation.

 

One morning, Hux asked him, stroking his hair lovingly, “Are you getting bored during the day?”

Ben shook his head, “No, My Love. You give me everything I need. The holo-tapes are very entertaining.”

“Well, you may still like a change of scenery, so, as I promised, you can come with me to Coruscant tomorrow. Would you like that?” Hux said.

Ben was stunned. Coruscant had become in his mind a mystical place in some dim and unreachable future. He had wished for this day, and now that it was here, he didn't know how to react. He didn't want to make Hux suspicious.

“I, uh, yes, I would...I would enjoy going with you,” he said, stumbling over the words, but it seemed to appease Hux.

Hux smiled, “Good.”

 

When Hux was packing, Ben noticed that he put the collar and chain in his case.

Oh no, Ben thought, he’s not going to lead me around like a pet while on Coruscant, is he? I've been good--really, really good.

He didn’t say anything, hoping that if he behaved then Hux wouldn’t have any reason to collar him.

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Nope, not at all.
> 
>  
> 
> Stiletto Ren suggested that Ben make advances on Hux in order to get more freedom. I figured he wouldn't be very good at it.


	5. Torturer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> He looked through his reflection in the glass as if he was transparent. He felt transparent, insignificant. He had been nothing of importance before, but now he felt like less than nothing--Just a bauble for the General to hang on his arm.
> 
> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> Hux wants to prove to Ben what a scoundrel his father really is but ends up proving a lot more than he intended.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt it would be easier for readers to avoid the major references to (non-con) incest if I split the chapter. If you wish to avoid it, please skip ch 6: Manipulator. There will be minor references later on, too, but feature most heavily in ch 6.
> 
>  
> 
> Warning for the next chapter (ch 6: Manipulator): implied/referenced incest, implied/referenced rape/non-con

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

They took the General's upsilon class shuttle and arrived at Coruscant in a few short hours. The planet glimmered as they descended into the nighttime city. They landed at a private port of a penthouse and were greeted by a species slightly taller than a human with pale blue skin and horns--Ben recognized him as a Chagrian.

“General Hux,” The man said with open arms, “It’s been a long time.”

“It has indeed, Lord Xorahhn. Thank you for your hospitality on such short notice,” Hux said as the man hugged him. Hux gestured toward Ben, “This is my swain, Ben.”

“A pleasure, Ben,” The Chagrian bowed.

Ben bent slightly forward in an awkward bow. “The pleasure’s all mine, my Lord.”

“Please, call me Corullious, or, if you prefer formality, Mr. Xorahhn is fine,” Xorahhn said warmly.

Two servants appeared out of seemingly nowhere, one holding a tray of drinks.

Xorahhn and Hux both took drinks and Hux took one for Ben. Ben sipped the fizzy liquid--a very strong, carbonated alcohol.

Hux told Ben, “The Lord and I have business to discuss, I’ll meet you in the Observation Room when we are finished.” He and Xorahhn exited via an elevator.

“This way, Master Ben,” The servant said. Ben felt uncomfortable being called ‘Master’, but smiled and followed. One of the servants got their luggage from the shuttle while the other one led Ben to a different elevator, then to a room.

“Is the suite satisfactory?” the servant asked. Ben had never seen a more luxurious room. About ten times larger than Hux’s quarters on _The Finalizer_ , it had a ceiling Ben couldn’t reach and an enormous bed. Ben guessed that its size was to accommodate a variety of species that Lord Xorahhn might entertain.

“Oh, yes,” Ben said, “It’s beyond satisfactory.”

“Would you like me to unpack for you?” Asked the servant holding the bags.

“No, thank you,” Ben said.

“When you are ready, I’ll show you to the Observation Room,” The servant said.

After they had gone, Ben opened Hux’s case, the chain and collar sat on top. He got a queasy feeling in his stomach just looking at it. He didn’t know if he should leave it for Hux to put away.

Ben carefully looked through the case but found nothing else of note. What he expected to find, he didn’t know, maybe a blaster or something. The second case was empty, as Ben had only one outfit--the one he was wearing. Hux has promised to buy him some new clothes so they brought the case to accommodate that. He unpacked Hux’s clothing into the towering armoire, deciding to leave the collar in the case.

He called for the servant, who must have been standing outside the door because he buzzed the door an instant later.

The servant took him up in an elevator to the Observation Room. Appropriately named, its curved exterior wall and ceiling were solid glass, giving an incredible view of the sky and the city.

The servant brought him a drink. He sipped the sweet, strong beverage and watched the city. He looked through his reflection in the glass as if he was transparent. He felt transparent, insignificant.  He had been nothing of importance before, a low-life quasi-criminal, but now he felt like less than nothing--Just a bauble for the General to hang on his arm. He wondered if any of the windows opened. At this height, he would die on impact with the street below, painless.

_No! Why did I even think that? That’s a coward’s thought. I can’t give up. Father would be ashamed of me for even thinking that. I made it to Coruscant, the hard part’s over. I’ll find a way to escape. I just have to wait for the right moment and not give myself away too soon._

Ben glanced over at the servant. He stood disconcertingly still next to a wall, looking directly at Ben in a way that felt attentive but not scrutinizing.

The door opened and some well-dressed men came in. Ben turned to them. They were having an involved conversation. Ben knew about a dozen languages, but he didn’t understand what they were saying. From the way they occasionally looked at him, he got the impression that they are talking about him.

Lord Corullious Xorahhn entered soon after with an entourage, but without Hux. Ben smiled at him politely.

“Enjoying the view?” Xorahhn asked, joining Ben by the window.

“Yes, it’s magnificent,” Ben said.

“It is, isn’t it? This is my favorite room,” Xorahhn said. “Oh, do you like your suite?”

“Very much so,” Ben said, “It’s probably the most lavish room I’ll ever stay in in my life.”

Xorahhn smiled. He turned to face Ben. “I have a proposition for you.” 

Ben bit his lip nervously.

“General Hux informed me of your...situation,” Xorahhn told him, “And I have an offer for you--to buy your freedom.”

“What?” Ben asked, genuinely taken by surprise. “...I mean…”

Xorahhn chuckled, “Yes, sorry to just spring it on you like that. I should have been more tactful. What I mean is, I will offer you a job which will eventually pay off your debt and you will live here until it is paid off.”

“Oh, uh...what..um...what is the job?” Ben asked, anxious of the answer. It was probably going to be something illegal, or suicidal, or worse.

It was worse.

“You will be a companion to my guests,” Xorahhn said, glancing at the small crowd behind them. “Someone of your...quality could fetch upwards of three or four thousand a night, depending.”

Ben stood silent, momentarily shocked. He could buy his freedom! His means of escape had just fallen into his hands. He could buy his freedom...but at what cost?

_What difference would it make? I’m already having sex against my will. But at the end of it, I would be free. No, I can’t do it. I’d be selling my body and that might be worse than being a trinket for the General. Given the options, I would rather be a slave than a whore._

“Lord Xorahhn--Corullious--I appreciate the offer, but...I want to stay with General Hux,” Ben said, keeping himself composed, even though his stomach tied itself into a knot. He could buy his freedom, yet he was turning down his opportunity. He had promised himself that would take the next the next chance he got to escape, but he couldn’t do it that way. He had already been debased as much as someone could be, but if he had a shred of dignity left, he had to hold on to it.

“Suit yourself,” Xorahhn said. “I hope you enjoy your stay on Coruscant, and as a guest in my house, feel free to ask for anything.” He winked, then left Ben to mingle with the crowd, which had gotten considerably larger since Ben last noticed.

He stood by the window, hoping to disappear into the reflection in the glass. He saw Hux in the reflection, and turned, smiling. Hux held him around the waist, letting everyone in the room know who he belonged to.

After some mingling and several more drinks, the guests were seated at the tables and served appetizers. A small stage and a podium had been set up. Hux noticed Ben’s curiosity.

“There is an event here tonight, which is part of the reason I wanted you to come, not that I need a reason to want you by my side when your entrancing beauty is enough,” Hux said, leaning forward to stroke Ben’s cheek. Ben blushed.

“But, anyway,” Hux continued, “I’m expecting someone to show up that you will be very interested in seeing.”

“Oh,” Ben said, eating one of the little snail appetizers. It didn’t taste very good, salty and rubbery, but Ben swallowed it.

“Do you like those?” Hux asked him.

“Uh...” Ben said.

“We can get some while we’re here to take back to _The Finalizer_ ,” Hux said. Ben was trying to come up with a prudent way to tell Hux that he didn’t like the snails when the lights turned to the stage.

The compère for the night’s event, the same species as Lord Xorahhn, spoke first in that language that Ben didn’t understand, then in Basic, “Welcome, gentlemen. We have some nice offerings tonight. Enjoy the fantastic food and drink and, of course, the amazing view. We will start the auction momentarily.”

Ben’s blood suddenly ran cold. He had a dreadful feeling like remembering a nightmare, but only the emotional response to it, not any details. Hux finished his snails, and the servants removed his plate and filled his wine glass. The room filled with smoke and chatter as the crowd got excited for the event, puffing from death sticks and water pipes, drinking, and mingling. Ben felt nauseous from the smoke and drink, and the snails. And that dreadful feeling that felt like a rock in his stomach.

The servers brought a salad course. The salad had tentacles in it. The tentacles were moving. Ben tried not to look at it. The compère came back up to the stage.

“Thank you all for your patience, shall we get started?”

The crowd roared. The compère signaled, and a man came out from behind a curtain, dragging a humanoid by a chain. Ben felt really sick. He stood up. Hux practically pounced on him.

“I, um, I need to go find a refresher,” Ben said.

“I’ll show you,” Hux said. He led him out of the room and down a hallway to the refresher. Hux went in with him. Ben breathed deeply and closed his eyes, leaning on the sink. He felt simultaneously drunk and hungover.

“Are you feeling okay?” Hux asked.

“Uh, I may have had too much to drink, I think,” Ben said.

“Ah, lightweight, huh?” Hux laughed.

“Yeah, I guess,” Ben said.

Ben splashed water on his face.

“Take one of these,” Hux said, offering him a small pill. Ben took it.

“May I go back to our room?” Ben asked.

“Absolutely not!” Hux said, “It would be incredibly rude to leave in the middle of our host’s dinner party. You’ll feel better in a minute. Now, we need to get back, it was rude of us to be gone this long.” Hux grabbed Ben’s arm and led him back to the Observation Room.

Back at their table, the disturbing salad had been replaced by some kind of small, whole roasted bird, complete with head and feet. Ben and Hux sat down again.

There was a new person on stage, completely naked, drugged out of his mind. The man holding his leash lifted his head by the hair so that the audience could see his face. Ben closed his eyes.

“Look at that snow-white skin,” The compère was saying, “And eyes bluer than the seas of Corellia and--the cherry on this luscious sundae--this one is a certified virgin!”

The crowd started shouting numbers and filthy remarks. 

This was the vilest display of disregard for sentient life that Ben had ever witnessed. Ben felt a sob building in his chest, more from his own tenebrous memories than from empathy. But, he did feel for the poor boy on stage. He only remembered flashes and a feeling of dread of when he’d been drugged and dragged on a stage like that, but seeing it as a whole, in a loud, smokey room, with men shouting and hooting, putting a literal price on the boy’s life, while swilling their wines and brandies, made it far more visceral.

Hux brought him here just to torture him, to remind him that he was foolish to have hope, that he had no future but to be Hux’s...swain, as he had called him--a bathetic word for pet slut.

Ben peered at Hux, expecting to see an arrogant leer, but he was not looking at the stage nor at Ben, he was glancing at the back of the room.

Ben looked in the same direction. Around a large table in the back of the room clustered ten or twelve people, among them Lord Xorahhn--and Han Solo.

At seeing his father, Ben nearly bolted from the table. But then decided that would be a suicidal move considering that it would probably end in blasters being drawn, and he didn't know how many people in the room would side with Hux.

Han did not notice Ben. He hollered a few things at the stage before returning to chatting and laughing with the other men at the table.

When Ben had been captured, he thought that his father must also have been captured or at the very least, injured. What was he doing here of all places? Yes, he and his father did engage in some questionably legal activities but never anything involving the slave trade.

Hux wanted him to know that his father was there but didn’t want Ben to confront him. Hux meant this to be part of his torture, to show him that his father was colluding with such despicable underworld villains.

On the stage, a Togruta girl was being brought out, glassy-eyed and stumbling, as drugged as the previous slaves. Ben looked back to the table where Han Solo sat. Han hooted. He seemed to be interested in the bidding on this girl when he hadn’t been paying any attention to the bidding at all previously. Men shouted numbers in Basic and some other languages, and Ben wasn’t sure what the winning amount had been. Han looked very happy, though, hollering as the handler dragged the girl off the stage.

Their plates were taken away and replaced by a cheese and jam course. Ben was relieved not to have to look at that roasted bird face any longer. The pill Hux had given him had helped with his nausea, but his stomach still felt tight and he still felt light-headed, he assumed from the smoke. He sipped some water.  

Another slave was being pulled on stage, a young male. Ben looked back to the table. Han and the rest of them had all returned to their lively chatting, drinking, and smoking.

Ben sipped some more water. He felt overly warm. The room had gotten unbearably stuffy from the smoke and the body heat of so many occupants. Or maybe Ben’s elevated temperature came from a swelling rage. Rage at Han for participating in this disgusting affair, rage at a Hux for forcing him to watch it, and rage at himself for being powerless to do anything about any of it. He was enraged by the entire situation. He clenched his water glass so tightly it shattered in his hand.

“What are you doing?” Hux hissed.

Ben looked at his bloody hand, “I-I’m sorry.”

Hux yanked him out of his seat and pulled him back out to the hallway then pushed him into the refresher. Hux looked in the cabinets for bandages while Ben ran his hand under the water. Hux found the first-aid supplies and slammed the box down on the countertop.

“You think it’s really funny to embarrass me like this, don’t you?” Hux said as he dabbed the bacta on his cuts.

“No, My Love, I don’t know what happened,” Ben said.

“You’re an ill-mannered, impudent lout, that’s what happened,” Hux said, laying a self-sticking bandage over one of the cuts.

“Yes, you’re right, I’m very sorry,” Ben said.

When Hux finished bandaging the cuts, Ben kissed him and said, “Thank you, My Love.”

“Try a little harder to be civilized, ok?” Hux said, his voice softening, squeezing his shoulders in a chilly hug.

“I will,” Ben said.

His stomach was in a cold, tight knot as they walked back to the auction. Ben hoped that Hux’s hug had meant that he forgave him. Hux was obviously not going to punish him here, it would disrespect their host, but he wasn’t sure if that courtesy extended to the entire house--to their private room.

When they re-entered the Observation Room, the auction was starting on the last slave of the night. Ben glanced at the big table, but both Xorahhn and Han were gone. Hux led him back to his seat. The servants had cleared the broken glass and brought them dessert and an after-dinner port. Hux swallowed his port in one swig and signaled for a refill.

When the final slave had been bought, the compère said, “Thank you all for attending tonight. Your host, Lord Xorahhn, invites you all to stay for the after-dinner entertainments available on floors seven through fourteen. There is something sure to please everyone. Stay as long as you like and leave satisfied. Guests that have winning bids, please see me or Master Goruld to make arrangements to acquire your merchandise.”

The guests started to get up and mingle before leaving out of one of the two doors on either side of the room.

“Do you believe me about your father, now?” Hux said when the room had cleared out.

Ben shook his head, running his finger along his port glass, “No, that didn’t prove anything. You don’t have any proof that he sold that girl, or that he sold me,” Ben said.

“It proves that he hangs around with some extremely deplorable people, though, doesn’t it?”

_You’re here, too, My Love._

Amused or irritated at Ben’s lack of response, Hux laughed, “You really are that stubborn, aren’t you? It’s right in front of your face, and you still refuse to see it.”

Ben looked toward the window, the gleaming city vast yet still out of reach. He had made it to Coruscant but felt even further from freedom than he had on _The Finalizer_. If he escaped, where would he go? Back to Han Solo? No--not if Hux was right. Could Hux be right? Had he actually been selling slaves? For how long? How many?

He could probably track down his mother. He hadn’t seen her for several years since she and Han broke up. She still lived on Coruscant. He would have to tell her about what he knew about Han, but he would worry about that when--if--that time came.

Hux sighed. “Listen, would you like to go play some sabacc? I’m sure they have a table or two downstairs.”

Ben shook his head, “I’m not feeling very well. I’d rather just go back to our room.”

To Ben’s disbelief, Hux said, “Very well. I’m going to go downstairs, I still have some consorting to attend to. For some reason, malefactors seem to be more willing to make deals over card games. I’ll meet you back in the room later.”

Hux left as the servants came in to clear the tables. Ben sat at the table for a moment, dubious of Hux’s willingness to leave him alone there, thinking that Hux must have an ulterior motive.

He looked out at the city once more before exiting out of the door toward their room. No one else was in the hallway. He took the elevator down to the floor their room was on. Then, to avoid running into anyone on the elevator, he located the stairs and took them down a number of flights. He was sure that there were probably guards at the exit of the building, and if there were, he would sneak back up, but if not, he would be out and free.

He heard what sounded like a lively party outside the door on one floor. As he rushed past the door on the next floor down he heard steps and voices coming from below, so he slipped into the door, down the blue, glowing hallway, and around a corner.

He heard the stair door open and the footsteps move toward him. He could try to make a run for the other end of the hallway, but they were sure to see him before he got there. He could feign interest in whatever party was going on upstairs and pretend to be headed in that direction. Maybe they wouldn’t even question why he was there at all. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. He was a guest of the house, too, after all.

Two very large, brutish-looking, grey-skinned men turned the corner.

“Ah, here he is!” One of them said.

“Away from your Master, are you? That’s very dangerous, you know.” The other grinned, showing a mouth full of sharp teeth.

 

 ~~~~~@~~~~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for the next chapter (ch 6: Manipulator): implied/referenced incest, implied/referenced rape/non-con


	6. Manipulator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> You are the one who destroyed me, My Love. But I can do nothing to hurt you the way you have hurt me.
> 
> ~~~~~@~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOC for Han.
> 
> Chapter Warnings for non-con, violence, torture, non-consensual drug use.

 

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

The two huge men towered over him.

"I'm, uh, I'm just on my way to the party," Ben stammered. He was already backing up, ready to run.

"Yes, you are." One of the men reached for him. Ben ran. He made it halfway down the hall when something stabbed him in the back, stunning him. He hit the floor and the next thing he realized, he was being wrestled into the stairwell and up the stairs.

He screamed, “Let me go! Huuuxxx! Heeelllp!”

They pushed him into a dim, smoky, noisy room. He kicked and screamed as he was dragged through the mass of people.

“HELP! STOP! PLEASE HELP!”

 _Why is nobody helping?_  

He caught sight of Han Solo in the crowd.

“FATHER! HELP!”

A gag was stuffed into his mouth and a pillowcase pulled over his head. Had his father heard him? He wasn’t coming to help if he had.

Rough hands held him down on a sofa, tied his hands behind his back and tugged his pants down. The gag muffled his next screams as a fat finger pushed something into him.

“You will be enjoying it very soon.”

As it dissolved a warm tingling flooded his body. He felt dizzy. The sofa felt like it was swaying. Warmth swirled in his lower belly and groin. He became grossly aware of his body. Every bead of sweat amplified his sensitivity.

His head was buzzing. He could barely understand what the voices were saying, making out a few lewd and disgusting comments as his ears warped the sounds of music and laughter and chatter into a nauseating babbling.

“Oh, he’s a lively one.”

“It’s more fun when they’re awake.”

He tried to yell again for his father, but it came out an incomprehensible, drooling groan.

His head throbbed from the hideous cacophony and his nerves crackled like he’d been touched by a branding iron as a hot hand touched his lower back.

 

 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

 

The raucous noise crescendoed as the shouting intensified. And, was that blaster fire?  

Ben’s head swam from the noise and scent of smoke and body odors that crept through the pillowcase. Bile stung the back of his throat. He wasn’t getting enough air. Mostly he heard his own harsh breathing, but he was certain he had heard a blaster.

Yes! There was more of it, and more shouting and scrambling, and a large mass hitting the floor, then he heard Hux yelling, “I’ll have the rest of you strung up by your cocks!”

A moment later a hand was placed under Ben’s chin, the pillowcase pulled off his head. Hux then untied the gag and yanked it off. Ben gasped for fresh air.

Hux cradled Ben’s head and Ben cried uncontrollably.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I'm here,” Hux said as he untied Ben, letting him crawl into his lap. Hux stroked his hair and kissed his head.

Ben cried into Hux’s chest, holding him as if for dear life. He couldn’t make words, not that he would say what he was thinking. Not that he could tell Hux what a monster he was.

_Why, My Love? Why? How could you do this when you say you love me? I didn’t think it was possible for someone to be as cruel as you are, My Love. I can’t stand it anymore. I hate you so much. You can’t comprehend how much I hate you. I can’t think of a word strong enough to describe my hatred for you. My hatred is beyond words._

Ben clung to Hux and hated himself for it.

Hux held him and rubbed his back gently until Ben made himself sick from crying then helped him to the refresher. Retching made his stomach hurt worse.

“Shhh, My Love, it’s all right now, I have you,” Hux said. “Don’t worry, they’ll be taken care of, I promise.”

Ben didn’t remember going back to their room.

“You’re burning up.”

Hux drew him a lukewarm bath. As Hux helped him in, Ben flashed back to when he was a kid--He realized he hadn’t had a real bath since he was ten. Falling into that memory, and into the cool water helped distract from his burning skin.

Hux washed his back and chest, then his hair, his touch gentle, the water soothing the screaming, raw awareness of his body.

“Do you feel better?” Hux asked as he dried him.

Ben nodded. The towel felt unbearably coarse, but Ben didn't want to tell Hux. His brow twitched and he began crying again. Hux guided him to the bed and covered him with the feather comforter. He lay down next to him. Ben wrapped his arms around him, even though the nearness of Hux’s warm body was throttling. Ben hated him so much, but he needed something, anything, to hold onto right now.

Hux spoke softly to him, “Ben, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault. I should never have brought you here. I should never have left you alone.”

Ben wished he could escape his body, overwrought by a discordance of sensations. Burning yet freezing. Limbs numb yet painfully itchy. Stomach sore. Ears ringing. Every touch agony yet ecstasy. He panted and writhed and shivered, overheated and over-stimulated but craving Hux’s touch like he was starving for it.

“Hey, Ben, what's the matter? Did they give you something?” Hux asked.

Ben nodded, unable to make more than guttural groans.

“Oh, My Love, I’m so sorry I got you into this. I can..I mean...Will you let me help you through it?”

_No._

_No, that would make me no better than you. If I use you to satisfy this wicked craving, that would prove that I’m just as immoral and obscene as you are. If I have a shred of dignity, I have to hold onto it._

Hux touched him and the sensation quavered through his body.

“I can see you’re in agony, My Love. Please let me help you.”

Ben clutched the sheets.

_I have to hold onto it._

He panted hotly, arching his back from the sparking tingling of Hux’s hands on his stomach.

_I have to hold onto it._

Hux’s lips and tongue were soft and sensuous, softer and more sensuous than anything he ever felt before.

_I have to…_

The intensity of sensations bloomed into radiating euphoria, a pleasure becoming bigger than himself. Every nerve vibrated as if it touched the air around him, mingling with the vibrations emanating off--out of--Hux like breath filling his lungs and flowing out again.

Even with his eyes closed tight, he could envision an aura around them, dancing and pulsating. He felt less attached to his own body and more to everything around him.

He wanted to stay in that moment for eternity.

 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

 

 

Ben eyes slid open the next morning to the sound of Hux setting the breakfast tray by the bed.

“How are you feeling?”

Ben looked at him--he felt vague and foggy-headed. He should have felt furious, or distraught, or something, but emotionally, he felt hollow, emptied. Physically, his stomach fluttered, his head throbbed, his throat hurt to swallow, his eyes hurt to blink, and every muscle felt like a lead weight.

“After you have breakfast, I have a surprise for you,” Hux said. Ben’s stomach dropped. The way Hux said it made him ill.

“Thank you, My Love, but I don’t think I can eat right now,” Ben said, his voice hoarse.

“That’s all right. You should at least drink some water,” Hux said.

Ben did, and Hux gave him some medicine for his headache. After some urging by Hux, Ben got out of bed and put on his outfit, noticing the bloodstain on the sleeve from when he cut his hand on the glass.

Hux said, “Borrow one of my jackets, for now, we’ll get you some new clothes later.”

Ben went to the armoire and got Hux’s extra jacket. He noticed the collar and chain had been set out on the vanity.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?” Hux said as they exited their suite.

“I'm sure,” Ben said.

 

Hux led him down in the elevator. When the door opened, Ben balked. The blue hallway. Hux shoved Ben front of him, pushing him down the hall and into a dark room.

It took a moment for Ben’s eyes to adjust to the dimness, then he saw three slumped men tied to chairs. They had been stripped naked and each man had a cord wrapped around his genitals, stretching their respective manhoods out like a torture rack. They all had pillowcases over their heads and cuts and bruises across various parts of their bodies; someone had given them quite a beating.

Holding Ben by the shoulders, Hux said, “These are two of the men who assaulted you. I managed to shoot one last night, but the rest fled. However, it wasn't hard to extort who the perpetrators were; criminals so easily betray fellow criminals.”  He pushed Ben closer to the third man in particular. “I also discovered someone else here, too, someone that I thought would be just as deserving of punishment.”

The glint of knives on a table let Ben know what Hux wanted him to do.

“Go ahead,” Hux said, “It’ll make you feel better.”

The man in front of him shouted, his voice muffled from the pillowcase, but still clearly recognizable, “Hey, you piece of filth, once Lord Xorahhn hears about this, he’ll have your head. He and I are friends from waaay back.”

Ben backed away.

“It’s very easy. Watch, I’ll show you,” Hux said, snatching up a knife swinging it down on the man that Ben knew was his father.

“No!” Ben grabbed his arm before it struck.

Hux threw him to the floor.

“Why show them mercy?” Hux said.

“I...I…” Ben swallowed.

_Oh, My Love, just when I think you’ve done the worst possible thing to me, you do something infinitely worse._

“Why not exact revenge? They’re disgusting excuses for life. You’d be doing the Galaxy a service.”

Ben stood up and nodded. Hux pushed the knife handle into his hand. Ben turned toward his father. Hux stood close behind him.

As much as he hated his father right then, he could not mutilate him. All his torment and fury funneled to Hux. And with cause. Hux had set the entire thing up, he had to have, otherwise, how had he found him?

He wondered if he could beat Hux in a knife fight. Probably not. He might be able to get in one or two hits before Hux could draw his blaster. However, if his aim was true, maybe he could hit Hux in the throat. And it would all be over.

_There’s no other option. Stab you, My Love, or stab my father._

He spun, swinging the blade with full force. But Hux caught his arm.

_Shit!_

Ben kicked Han’s chair. It fell in front of Hux, who let go of Ben’s wrist to catch his balance. Ben swiped the rest the of knives from the table and ran out the door.

_Stupid, stupid, stupid, this was really stupid._

Ben raced down the hall as fast as he could. He turned down another hall.

_Shit!_

Panicking, he forgot how to get to the lower floors. He turned a corner, tears streaming down his face, dropping all but one of the knives. He pushed through a door, hoping that it led to a staircase. It did! And he fell down the first flight. Scrambling to his feet, he bounded down the rest.

He ran down several flights until the stairs terminated at a door, which he slammed into. Locked. He ran back up one flight. Locked. He ran back up one more flight. He pushed the door, it opened and he peered out. The was a door--what looked like a big front door--on the other side of the large room.

The room appeared empty, so he made a run for it, expecting any second to be tackled or shot. He flung open the large door and on the other side was the open street, pedestrians and vehicles casually passing by. He turned, catching his breath. No one was behind him, the entry hall was quiet. He had expected that Hux would have chased him or called guards or something.

He looked at the knife he was still holding.

This wasn’t preventing Hux from mutilating Han Solo. Hux had his blaster. Regardless, Hux could come up with more creative ways of hurting someone.

He ran back into the building and back up the stairs.

_What the fuck am I doing?_

Hux would punish him for sure, thinking back to what he had done when Ben pulled a fork on him, but there was no possible thing he could do that was worse than what he’d already done to him.

Tears blurred his vision, and the air burned his lungs as he ran back up the steps, returning to the floor with the blue hallways. He easily found his way back to the room, led by the screams. He approached the still-open door, his heart pounding in his ears, and peered into the dark room.

Hux was standing over one of the men, his blaster muzzle pressed to the man’s stretched prick. The man was begging for mercy. Hux fired. The man screeched. Hux kicked his chair over. Another man was already on the floor screaming in agony. Han Solo’s chair was still knocked over, and Han was struggling to get out of his bonds, but Ben didn’t think that he had been harmed.

Hux knew that Ben was standing in the doorway because he went over to Han and put his blaster to his head.

“Don’t!” Ben yelled. He rushed in and fell at Hux’s feet, wrapping his arms around his legs. “Please, please, My Love, please don’t hurt him, I-I know he’s a terrible person that doesn’t d-deserve to live, but...but he’s my father,” Ben sobbed.

“Ben?” Han asked, his head still covered with the pillowcase.

Hux huffed, glaring at Han with more fury than Ben had before seen in his eyes.

“Please, I’ll do whatever you ask...I...I p-promise I will never try to run a-again, just please spare him,” Ben pleaded.

Hux yanked the pillowcase off Han’s head.

“You want to spare this monster? Why? Because he’s your father? That’s all the more reason for revenge,” Hux yelled over the wailing of two mutilated men. 

“Ben!” Han said,

Ben looked at him.

_What if really did sell me? If he really did sell me, it’s his fault. All of this. His fault. But I won't believe it until I hear it from his mouth._

“Did you do it?” Ben asked.

“What?” Han said. He seemed genuinely perplexed, but he was also a very good liar.

“Did you do it?” Ben said, again.

Han shook his head, “Ben, what are you talking about? Why are you with this First Order slimeball?”

Ben grabbed him by the hair and slammed his face into the floor, punctuating his words, “Did. You. Do. It.”

“Ben, listen! I don’t know what he told you, but this is a big misunderstanding,” Han said, licking the blood running from his nose.

Ben stood and began kicking him, screaming, “You did it, didn’t you? You fucking did it! Why? Why? Why!”

“Ben!” was the only thing Han could manage to get out between grunts and gasps.

Ben rolled him onto his back with his foot. He saw his own stubbornness in the man's eyes and it infuriated him. He began to put pressure on Han's throat. Han’s eyes watered.

“I had to! I had no choice!” Han shouted.

“No choice?” Ben mocked. “There’s always a choice.”

He felt the balance of power move from his father to him. For the first time in his life, he felt powerful. He could so easily destroy the man at his feet.

_He destroyed me, it would be poetic justice._

“Do it, Ben,” Hux said.

_No, Han Solo didn’t destroy me, you did, My Love. But I can do nothing to hurt you the way you have hurt me._

Ben recalled his uncle Luke telling him something once when he was very young.

He turned to Hux and said, “The most important thing a man with power can do is to decide _not_ to use it.” He stepped past him and out of the room.

Hux grabbed Han by the hair and said, “Your son has the integrity of a Knight. He doesn’t deserve to have such a detestable man for a father.” He kicked Han in the face before following Ben.

Ben walked briskly and didn't look back. Whatever happened to Han Solo now was none of his concern. He'd given up his freedom to save the man who sold him as a slave and now he had to wash his hands of him. If he ever saw Han Solo again he would probably stab him in the eye with the nearest sharp object.

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading


	7. Conqueror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> So, My Love, You’ve figured out what form of torture torments me the most.  
>  Tenderness.
> 
> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> Hux is pleased with how easily Ben is manipulated. (Or, maybe it's the other way around.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if some of this seems contradictory. But, in real life, sometimes people's thoughts contradict one another. So, if Ben's thought processes don't make sense, it's because he's not quite sure, either, and has to work stuff out. (or that's just an excuse for lazy writing.)
> 
>  
> 
> I've added 'violence' to the tags and realized that I should have done that before now.  
> Also, this is non-canon, of course, but figured I'd just make that clear. Nkunduggese is not a language in Star Wars, I made it up for the purposes of this story because I was too lazy to research any Star Wars languages. Translations are in the end notes.

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

Back in their room, Ben yanked the jacket he was wearing off, grabbed the collar and chain from the vanity and dropped to his knees at Hux’s feet, holding the chain out to him, ready to accept his fate. Hux took the chain from him and pulled him up.

Tossing the chain away, he said, “You do have the integrity of a Knight, and hopefully it won't get you into trouble one day. Turning your back on an opponent gives them the opportunity to stab you in it.”

“You knew I would come back?”

“I hoped you would.”

He kissed Ben’s neck, brushing his hair aside to nibble his ear.

Ben’s eyes fluttered as Hux gently nipped along his jawline and throat. It felt good. Really good. Too good to be wrong.

 _So, My Love, You’ve figured out what form of torture torments me the most._ _  
_ _Tenderness._

He didn’t try to fight the pleasure, letting himself enjoy Hux’s teeth sliding along his neck, shivering when they bit his earlobe. Hux had it wrong, he didn’t have any integrity. He had given up a chance at freedom because of some pretense of morality only to turn around and give it up a second time to spare the life of an amoral creature. He could make excuse after excuse, but he had chosen this. He wanted this.

_But, You are no more of a monster for doing this than I am for liking it. Who am I to decide what is wrong or right? Good or evil? My life before had been one criminal pursuit after another. Now, I’m with someone who loves me, who saved me from a life of crime. Am I any less free than I was before? I wanted something more and when I got it, I wanted to go back?_

_Freedom is not a truth. Wanting freedom is selfish.  Not appreciating what I have while I have it is selfish. Selfishness itself is evil, isn’t it, My Love? You love me, and I have been selfish not to love You back. Love is a truth._

Hux’s fingers ran up Ben’s chest then trailed up his neck to tilt his head to kiss him on the lips. Ben reached up and cupped Hux’s cheek, pulling him in closer to deepen the kiss.

As they toppled onto the bed, Ben wrapped his legs around Hux’s waist, and, for the first time gazed wantonly at him. Hux wiped Ben’s tears with his thumb. Ben ran his fingers through Hux’s hair while Hux devoured Ben’s lips, jawline, and neck. 

His previous avowals of love towards Hux had been false, but no more so than the lies he had convinced himself were truths.

_I deceived You into thinking that I loved You. I tricked You for a selfish reason. Dishonesty isn’t right, even against someone that has taken my freedom. Just as it wasn’t right to deceive myself, either. I’m not any better than You, My Love._

He had thought before that Hux had taken away any future he might have had, but what would that future have been, anyway? A life of smuggling contraband from one gangster to another? Of taking advantage of people to get the upper hand? Of stabbing someone in the back whenever the opportunity arose? And to what end? To put food on the table? A roof over his head?

Well, now he had food on the table, and a roof, and someone that took care of him. His life before had been of a disreputable scoundrel. Of only looking out for his own self-interests. Treating others only as a means to an end. Never treating anyone kindly for the sake of kindness--

He remembered!

Kallumond!

He remembered seeing him sprawled in the dirt, a bruise around his eye, market-goers walking past him with cool indifference. He knew that the man had nothing, he had just been beaten and robbed, but Ben took him to a secret hang-out and paid for him to call his ship anyway. Why? Something about that man had brought out caring and generosity in him. He had felt a simple contentment in making the stranger happy. Whatever it was, it had also made him turn his back on freedom. It was close to feeling powerful but in a strange, round-about way. He got a strange, perverted satisfaction in pleasing Hux.

_I didn’t come back to save Han Solo, I came back because if I hadn’t, it would have broken Your heart. I could have done that, My Love, but I didn’t. I thought that there was no way to hurt You, but I understand now, just as You hurt me with Your affection, I could hurt You by denying You._

They moved together for the first time as one. Ben experienced a beautiful euphoria that he never had before. An experience shared with his lover. He saw that same halo enshroud them both, but this time, drugs could not be blamed. 

Hux’s eyes twinkled; he was crying.

“My Love, what’s wrong?” Ben asked.

“You never wanted to look at me before,” Hux said.

Ben had never really looked at Hux before, never saw the nuances of his face, the way his cheeks flushed when Ben kissed him, the depth in his eyes when the light reflected through them, the way they darkened when he climaxed.

_I could hurt You, My Love, I could leave, and I don’t think you would stop me--you have this notion that I am honorable--but then we would be done with this power game of Yours, and I think I’m just starting to get good at it, just starting to enjoy it._

“You're beautiful, My Love,” Ben said.

“Oh Ben, I love you so much,” Hux said, “I was foolish to think that you would feel the same, but-”

Ben quieted him with a kiss.

_Saying it doesn’t make it true, that it is a truth makes it true._

“I love you, Hux. I’ve always loved you, I just didn't realize it until now.”

 

They snuggled in bed for a good part of the morning. So comfortable and warm, they didn't want to get up. The door buzzed, giving Ben a brief panic attack, fearing that Lord Xorahhn had found out about what they’d done to his guests. But it was only the servants bringing lunch.

Ben brought the tray of confections and fruits to the bed, shuffling haphazardly, dragging the sheet he’d used to cover himself. Hux laughed at him. Ben shoved a zoochberry into Hux’s mouth to shut him up. Hux responded by grabbing one of the tiny sandwiches and shoving it into Ben’s mouth. They ended up feeding each other, passing berries and comfits to each other with their tongues.

After, Ben took a shower, the taste of chocolate and zoochberry lingering in his mouth.

_What am I doing? Do I really want this? Or have I just said it so many times I now believe it’s true? Is there a difference?_

When he came back, Hux appeared asleep.

_I guess loving someone is a decision. It’s the ability to hurt someone, and not doing it. Hate, I suppose, is also a decision. I only hated You because I chose to. And that only served to make us both miserable. I could hurt You, My Love, but that would mean hurting someone that loves me. That would make me the evilest person in the Galaxy. Besides, now that I know the rules of this game, I think I want to play a little longer._

Ben bent down to poke him, ”Are you ever going to get up?”

Hux pulled him down on top of him. “I don't want to lose this moment, My Love.”

Ben smiled, “We won't. Fate tried its best to separate us, but I'm too stubborn.”

They made love for a third time that day.

_I do love you, but that word has so many branching meanings. I love that you can make me feel so good. I love that if I ask for it, you will give it to me. I love that you find joy in giving it to me. I love that if I ever told you ‘I hate you’, it would destroy you. I love that you give me that power. I love that you don’t realize you’ve given me that power. You have hurt me as much as it’s possible to hurt someone. That means I have the advantage, now. I love that you have given me the power to crush you. So, I guess that means I love you._

 

“I wonder why Lord Xorahhn hasn’t found out, yet,” Ben said, eating one of the zoochberries left from lunch. It was late afternoon, and he had expected Xorahhn’s guards at the door at any minute.

“He has,” Hux told him. “I received a message from him hours ago. I informed him of the situation, and he agreed with me that my retaliatory actions were indeed justified. He may be a gangster, but even he doesn’t want something like that to tarnish his reputation.”

“Oh,” Ben said. Something didn't click.

He had suspected that Hux set the whole thing up. And he figured that even if Xorahhn knew about it, he would have been upset about the death and maiming of three of his associates in his house and the threatening of a fourth. If Hux hadn’t arranged it with Xorahhn, Ben found it suspicious that he would take Hux’s word for it.

He brought a berry to Hux, and Hux parted his lips for Ben to place it on his tongue. He licked Ben’s finger as he withdrew it.

_My Love, You are a cruel teacher, but I have learned wonderful lessons from You. I’ve been fighting You this whole time when I should have been using You. All I have to do is say ‘You’re beautiful’ and I have You eating out of my hand--literally. You don’t even realize how easy You are to manipulate. I wonder how much of this power I can wield. I wonder how far I can push You._

“Um, My Love, you wanted me to take revenge on those responsible, and you’re right, I think I should.”

“Han Solo is long gone by now, but we could probably track him down,“ Hux said.

“No, he's not the one responsible. He didn't know.”

“Really? And you know who was?” Hux asked.

“Lord Xorahhn. He set the whole thing up.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes. Before dinner last night, he offered to buy me if I would work as a prostitute for him. I think he didn't like that I said no.”

“Hmmm,” Hux said, “Well, he is someone that rarely hears the word ‘no’, I’m sure, and most certainly never in his own house. He must have felt slighted. He and I have had a pretty good business relationship lately. He must have felt very slighted, indeed, to jeopardize that.” Hux sighed, stroking Ben’s cheek. “I am appalled by your ill-manners, that you would dare decline his offer. But overjoyed. However, he should have talked to me about it, in the first place, and never put you in that situation to have to refuse him. It sounds like he did it just to get at me.” He gathered his clothing. “Get dressed. We’re going to go settle matter immediately.”

 

Two guards stood outside of Lord Xorahhn’s business chamber.

“Good afternoon,” Hux said pleasantly, “Is the Lord available?”

One of the guards appeared ready to turn them away when the door opened. A servant motioned for them to enter.

“Please, come in, General,” Xorahhn said, sitting behind a large, shimmering green desk that looked like it had been carved from a single piece of jade and haloed by the huge window behind him. The walls of the office were lined with a collection of artifacts, mostly archaic weapons. One, in particular, caught Ben’s eye, something that resembled the weapon that his Uncle Luke tried to show him how to use a few times while his father laughed at how antiquated it was, eventually convincing Ben that blasters were superior.

Hux and Ben approached the imposing desk. Xorahhn signaled the guards to wait outside.

Xorahhn said, “Good afternoon, General. Is this about that incident that we had discussed earlier?” He gave Ben a slanted look as if offended that he had accompanied Hux into his private business office.

“It is,” Hux said.

“Again, a thousand apologies. Sometimes my clientele can get a bit...overly rambunctious, and many of them feel that a slave running away from its master deserves punishment.”

“Ben isn’t a slave, and he wasn’t running away,” Hux said.

“Regardless, this is your property, and they should not have been playing with it. People should regard slaves as any other personal property. While I abhor violence of any kind in my house, I have been more than reasonable in allowing you to...take the masculinity of those individuals as retribution. Do you not feel that I have been fair?”

“I said, he’s not a slave,” Hux growled.

Xorahhn said, “Swain, pet, whatever you want to call it, it’s still a zero-class, non-citizen. And I have been gracious enough to allow you to murder and maim my associates and clients because of your precious little toy, that, I might add, you just let wander freely around my house. What were they supposed to think?”

“Perhaps that he was a person. I told no one else, only you. There was no reason anyone should have thought that he was a slave,” Hux said.

“What are you implying, General?”

“I’m implying that you are petty and vindictive,” Hux said, leaning forward on the desk.

Xorahhn leaned back in his chair, a haughty air about him, but his expression passive, not giving in to Hux’s intimidation. However, he clearly showed disdain for Ben’s presence when he began speaking in a language Ben didn’t understand.

“Sel kiilich occh gorhh alhhrah?”*

“He told me you wanted him to work for you as a prostitute. So I think you were offended that he refused,” Hux replied in Basic.

“Sel kurhgch, grad valgra-tagh, sel muurnch?”* Xorahhn asked.

“Zun murnch don graga sel baleg,”* Hux said with a distinctive Basic accent--without uvular articulation and drawn vowels.

“Graggahh, graggahh grad kaillohh shah, General Hux?”* Xorahhn asked, ire in his tone. Ben sensed that he was far more than irritated.

“Ka, hapan sel grad Ben, ruspa-tog,”* Hux said, his voice steady, but Ben could feel the anger building between the two.

Xorahhn laughed. He shook his head and gave Ben a look of pure contempt, “Kahh, shah don grad _kaillohh_.”*

“What did you call me?” Ben said, slamming his hands on Xorahhn’s desk. Hux put his arm out to push Ben back.

“I said you are an insolent brat whose master lets him get away with far more than he should.” Xorahhn said, turning to Hux, “Are you really going to give up our business partnership because of the baseless accusations of this whelp?”

“You are nothing but a mere playing piece in the First Order’s endeavors. Gangsters like you are a wupiupi a dozen.” Hux said coolly.

Xorahhn sneered, “Well, General, it seems your pet has you by the balls. He must the best lay in the Galaxy. Speaking of…” He opened his desk drawer.

In an instant, in Hux’s blaster was pointed inches from Xorahhn's face.

“Easy,” Hux said.

“Now, now, general, no need to get violent.” He smiled at Ben. “I just wanted to pay this little whore for his services last night,” Xorahhn said, tossing a couple thousand credits on the desk. “See, I’m a reasonable boss. My offer still stands, by the way.”

Ben roared, leaping across the desk at him, prepared to strangle him with his bare hands, but Hux grabbed him, pulling him back.

Xorahhn stood, his two guards appearing the doorway. “You are both rash fools. I am offering you partnerships that would be lucrative for everyone, and you’re just going to throw it away...for what?” He snickered. “The way you were talking last night about how uncouth he is, I would have thought you wanted to be rid of him, but it seems you find that trait charming. In any case, I would have thought that you wouldn't want to touch him again after he'd been sullied.”

Hux lifted his blaster. Out of the corner of his eye, Ben saw one of the guards raise his blaster. In the same split-second, Hux tackled Ben to the floor to get them both out of the way of the blaster fire while firing exactly three shots. The two guards and Lord Xorahhn fell simultaneously.

Hux said to the servant, who had flattened himself up against the wall, “Go and fetch Lord Goruld, tell him he has inherited his cousin’s Grand Office. And send my apologies, as it may need to be cleaned." The servant scurried out the door.

A groan came from behind the desk, Lord Xorahhn wasn’t dead. Hux and Ben stood over the gangster. Xorahhn clutched his thigh, spitting a barrage of what Ben assumed were curses.

Hux handed the blaster to Ben.

“Now is your moment.”

“May I kill him, My Love?”

Hux gave a slight nod.

Ben had fired a blaster before, many times, but usually only when deals went sour, and he never aimed to kill, although he had never stuck around long enough to be sure. But this would be his first outright, intentional murder.

Ben aimed the blaster, but it seemed so...uncivilized. Ben wanted this momentous occasion to feel, well, momentous.

He glanced to the collection of artifacts on the walls. Ah, yes, he would use one of the weapons from Xorahhn’s own collection. That seemed fittingly insidious. Ben almost laughed. He almost didn’t feel the seriousness of the moment. He almost felt...giddy.

He handed the blaster back to Hux, “I have another idea.” He took the unassuming, metal cylinder off its hook on the wall.

“What are you going to do, pummel him to death? Brutal,” Hux said with a joyful gleam in his eyes, holstering his blaster.

“No--have you never seen one of these before?” Ben said, thumbing the switch on the side.

“Ha!” Xorahhn laughed, “That thing is broken, in fact, if you try to turn it on, it might explode.”

“Really, Corullious, trying that old, tired ploy? You don’t know me, but I have been hanging around gangsters my whole life,” Ben said.

“You’re not only a cocky git, you’re an idiot,”  Xorahhn said, “Go ahead, I hope it blows your hand off!”

Ben flicked the switch, and the weapon shrieked to life, a fiery blade projecting from the hilt. Xorahhn flinched as if he did expect it to explode.

It didn’t look or sound like the one Luke had--it was red, not green, and flickered like a flame,  whining and hissing, fanning where it projected from the hilt into a blinding ball of energy, threatening to engulf his hand.

Ben could feel the heat, so had to act quickly before it burned his hand.

“K _kaillohh gah kaillohh_.”* Xorahhn said, snarling.

Ben let the blade fall, the gangster’s head separated neatly from the body. It was quite unceremonious. Ben felt a bit disappointed. He didn't feel that grand swelling of gratification that vengeance wrought by his own hand should have brought. He switched off the weapon.

“That was very good, Ben, I'm very proud of you. It made you feel better, didn’t it?” Hux said.

Ben nodded. He didn’t really feel better, though. He actually felt kind of angry that he didn’t feel better.

_I should have made him suffer more, that would have made me feel better._

 

Hux and Ben waited outside the door to Xorahhn’s office for Lord Goruld. Ben fiddled idly with the hilt he was still holding.

Hux said, “I must say, I've never seen a weapon like that before.”

“The funny thing is, he was right, it does seem to be broken. It probably would have exploded if I kept it activated much longer,” Ben said.

“Well, luckily for both of us, it didn’t, right?” Hux said.

“I want to keep it,” Ben said.

“You said it’s broken.”

“I want it for...a memento,” Ben said.

“I suppose it was a special occasion for you,” Hux said.

“And, I think I can fix it,” Ben said.

“We’ll see. Ah, Lord Goruld!”

Lord Goruld, flanked by two guards and the servant trailing behind, greeted General Hux.

“I apologize, it's quite messy in there,” Hux said.

“Yes, but, as they say, you can't make the coat without skinning the fox,” Goruld said. He was in very good spirits for someone whose cousin had just been decapitated.

“When the fox is dead, the wolf sneaks in,” Hux said.

Goruld nodded, “I am not as arrogant or stupid as my cousin, I know my place, General, my skin is staying right where is.”

“Good.”

Goruld bowed, “May our current and future business dealings be mutually beneficial.”

“I know they will be,” Hux said. “We’ll be departing promptly. Can you have someone fetch our luggage and track down my pilot?”

Goruld signaled the servant, who nodded, then turned and trotted down the hall.

“Is there anything I can offer you before you go?” Goruld asked.

“My...paramour, Ben, would like to keep the weapon used to eliminate your predecessor,” Hux said.

Goruld smiled at Ben, “Ah yes, of course. It’s quite fitting, as my cousin killed its previous owner to get it. He was furious, to say the least, that it was broken. I’m impressed that you got it to work without injuring yourself.”

Hux said, “You’ll do well not to underestimate him.”

“I apologize, I meant no insult, but rather that he does not look as powerful as he is, which I meant as a compliment,” Goruld said.

Before Hux could respond, Ben said, “Thank you.”

Hux still appeared irritated, but smiled as they turned to part company, “Pleasant day to you, Lord.”

“Pleasant day to you, General, and to you, as well, Ben.”

 

“Go ahead and let the servants pack, I’ll meet you on the roof. I have to make sure our shuttle is ready. Since we’re leaving a day earlier than planned, and the pilot probably spent all night drinking, I might have to hire a replacement,” Hux said, once they reached their suite.

Ben nodded.

He packed Hux’s case then put the collar and chain, along with his new trophy, in the second case.

Hux had apparently made him an unwitting part whatever “business deal” he had arranged with Lord Goruld. He’d tricked him into killing Xorahhn, that’s why he felt unsated.

_You play this game very well, My Love. Point for You, this time. But I’m learning, and I will eventually beat You._

He thought about that insult Xorahhn kept saying, what was is? Kaillohh. It had felt more like he was directing the insult to Hux, or that he was insulting both of them. He didn’t know why it stuck in his brain. Perhaps because it was the last word of his first kill.

_First, ha! Like there will more._

“May I ask you a question?” Ben asked as the servants came to gather the luggage.

One of the servants looked at him with that gaze of passivity shared by all the servants that Ben found so disconcerting.

“Of course, Master Ben. You do not even need to inquire if you can inquire,” The servant said with an inflection that mirrored the way droids spoke--that would sound belittling if not coming from such a servile being.

“I assume that you speak the language that Lord Xorahhn speaks--er, spoke,” Ben said.

“Yes, it is Nkunduggese.”

“Can you tell me what ‘kaillohh’ means?”

“Nkunduggese has more nuances than Basic, and many words have complex meanings so there isn’t a direct translation. But it’s something like ‘someone small but able to be in control of bigger things, but usually not obviously. An instigator, a manipulator, an antagonist, if you will, but outwardly powerless. A slave that is also master to the ignorant Master.’ ”

 

The servants brought the luggage to the port on the roof, where their shuttle was prepared and ready to take off. Hux stood at the bottom of the gangplank.

Hux said cheerfully, “The pilot was smart enough to stay sober, so we can leave right away.”

Ben took his seat without saying anything.

Taking notice that Ben seemed pensive, Hux said, “You know, Ben, I didn’t buy you because I wanted a slave. I bought you because I love you _._ You are mine, but you are not my slave.”

_Ha! What’s the difference? But You have it wrong, anyway, My Love. You own me, but You are my slave._

“May I ask a favor?”

“All you do is ask favors, can’t you ever just be content?” Hux chuckled, “You just killed one of the biggest crime bosses on Coruscant, what more could you want?”

Ben stared silently out the window as their shuttle lifted off.

_I want to be rid of my old life. More than that, I want it to never exist. But, since neither of us can bring that about, I want the next best thing._

Hux soon gave in and said, “Very well, ask.”

“I don’t want to be called Ben any longer,” Ben said.

“Oh? What would you like to be called?”

“Kaillohh,” Ben said.

Hux said, his pronunciation clipping the long, throaty sounds, “Ky-lo?”--surprised and nearly laughing.

Ben smiled, “Yes, My Love.”

“Why would you want to be called 'baby'?”

“What?”

Hux laughed, “It’s an insult, a Nukundugese slang term, it means ‘infant’. But, I’ll call you that if you like. Baby.”

_Shit._

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *  
> What do I have to be petty and vindictive about? -CX
> 
> I did offer, and he did refuse, but what do I care? - CX  
> You care because he was brash enough to deny you. - AH  
> He is brash, too brash. And you allow it, General Hux. Is it that the slave is dominating its master? - CX  
> I believe him, that’s all there is to it - AH  
> No, he’s got you around his finger, but you are blind to it. - CX
> 
> Its maker does not know that the monster he made is a monster when the monster is sly enough to conceal it from him. - CX


	8. Intermission ~Innocence~

~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Ben borrowed Hux’s spare jacket so they matched mawkishly as they walked arm in arm out into the street. They had left Lord Xorahhn’s--now Lord Goruld’s--building and were now staying in a hotel on the other side of Coruscant. Hux had promised to buy Ben some new clothes, and he wasn’t going to let a little thing like the murder of the biggest crime boss in the sector get in the way of that.

“Ben! Hey!” someone shouted. A man with spidery hair trotted over. He must have been one of Han Solo’s associates.

“Are you alright, Ben?” He narrowed his eyes at Hux--who had not brought his blaster.

They tried to ignore him and walk past.

“I heard you’d been kidnapped!” The man said.

Hux tightened his fists, ready for a fight.

Ben turned to the man, giving him a surprised look, “Do we know you?”

The man said, taken aback, “Whu..?”

Hux smiled at Ben and said to the man, “I believe you have mistaken us for someone else.”

Ben slipped his hand around Hux’s arm, and they continued along the street, leaving the man with the spidery hair dumbfounded.

The man shouted to them, “Ben, he’s brainwashed you! Ben!”

Hux pulled Ben closer and said, “There can be some weird people on Coruscant, sometimes.”

 

Hux picked out conservative clothing for him, but Ben preferred more lavish styles: a velvet jacket with dangling and glimmering adornments, a fox fur coat, wool pants with shimmering red metallic thread woven throughout, red leather shoes, a silk suit similar to the one Hux originally bought him but gold.

“As good as you look in those, you will probably want something more comfortable as well, don’t you think?” Hux said.

“If I want to be comfortable, I’ll wear your robe,” Ben said. “Or nothing.”

“You're going to be obstinate, aren’t you, Baby?” Hux said, slipping his arms around Ben while he stood in front of the store mirror.

“It’s not Baby--It's Kylo,” Ben said.

“Whatever…” Hux said.

“You’re the one being obstinate,” Ben said.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Sitting on the sofa in their hotel room, Ben curled next to Hux, looking out across the scintillating city.

“This is v’ry nice,” Ben said, sounding tipsy after only one--watered--drink.

"Would you like another?"

Ben nodded.

He made a simple mixed drink of whiskey and fortified wine, watering Ben’s down even more for his second one.

“You dun't need ta do th’t,” Ben said.

“It’s the only way you’ll be able to keep up with me,” Hux smiled, handing him the glass.

Swallowing it in two, long quaffs, Ben said, “Lemme make th’ drinks, and we’ll see who c’n keep up.”

“Fine,” Hux laughed.

Ben went to the liquor cabinet. The hotel had provided a quality selection of spirits. Ben tossed a few random things together.

“Do you even know what you’re doing?” Hux asked.

“Does ‘t matt’r, it’s all th’ same,” Ben said, choking back his concoction.

Hux rubbed Ben’s back as he coughed, “Whoa, slow down, Baby, it isn’t a race.”

Ben pushed away from him, “It’s Kylo, not Baby!.”

“They mean the same thing,” Hux said. He tasted the drink Ben had mixed, but it was so vile he had to dump it in the sink.

“They dun’t mean th’ same th’ng,” Ben pouted, reaching for the bottle of cinnamon spirits and swigging straight from the bottle.

“You're terrible at this. I'll make the drinks--I won’t water yours down," Hux said. 

Hux grabbed a couple of fresh glasses. He opened the bottle of anise-flavoured liqueur he had bought earlier—known as a strong aphrodisiac that also caused hallucinations and fits of passion, notoriously believed to make imbibers “crazy and criminal”, and whose name, _Arth’sine_ , meant “undrinkable”. He liked the tingling on the lips it provided but didn’t want any undesirable effects, so swished a small amount in each glass before pouring it out. He added Corellian whiskey, simple syrup, and ice to a cocktail shaker, then portioned out two servings into the prepared glasses.

“Drink it slowly, savor it,” Hux said.

Ben took a huge gulp.

“Youknow, you w’dn’t like ‘f I call’d you...Hermit,” Ben said.

Hux was amused at Ben’s drunken manner, cheeks flushed, hair tousled, slurring, and swaying. He looked so innocent. He didn’t look like a murderer. He didn’t look like someone that just hours earlier had decapitated another person.

He touched Ben’s chin, tilting his head to glimpse into those sweet eyes, moving in to kiss him, “I would _love_ it. It would be the most adorable thing you could say to me.”

Ben jerked away so fast he spilled his drink, “No! ‘m not ‘dorable! ‘m not a schild.”

“Why pick a name that means ‘baby’, then?” Hux said.

“Thass not swhat ‘t meansss. Nuh-kundug-gese has...nusances...and...and...c’m-plex smeanings...” Only three drinks in and Ben was already stumbling and slurring like he’d been drinking all night.

_Oh, no, you’re not a child at all. You’re completely mature. Mature people get stumbling drunk on two and a half drinks._

“You’re about to fall over, sit down,” Hux said.

Ben took another big swig as he flopped on the sofa, spilling the rest of the drink.

“Hey! That was good booze you just wasted,” Hux scolded.

Hux scooched next to Ben, setting his own glass on the table. He started caressing Ben’s chest, undoing his shirt.

He kissed Ben’s bare chest. “Mmmm, you’re so cute and vulnerable when you're drunk.” 

“No!” Ben thrashed with every limb, kicking the table, knocking Hux’s drink over.

“That’s _two_ drinks you’ve wasted!” Hux said, moving to sit on Ben’s hips, holding him down. Ben swung at Hux with a ridiculously miscalculated punch.

Hux, unamused at Ben’s drunken flailing, partially tipsy himself, and wholly angry that Ben was resisting him, grabbed Ben’s arms and shouted, “Stop it, Ben!”

“Nooo!” Ben wailed, “Ben’s weak an’ stupid an’ weeeeaaak!”

“Okay, it’s okay, I’m sorry. You’re not weak or stupid,” Hux said.

“I killed him!” Ben yelled.

“I know,” Hux said, holding Ben’s arms with one hand, and trying to calm him down by stroking his hair. “Calm down. It’s okay. He wronged you, he wronged a lot of people. He was immoral and corrupt. And you prevented him from doing any more evil. You were right to kill him.”

Ben broke Hux’s grasp, sloppily slugged him in the nose and wiggled out of his thighs, falling to the floor with a loud **_thud_** before ****appearing to pass out. Hux reached down to touch him when Ben’s shoulders began to shake.

Hux knelt on the floor with him, holding him.

“Your fault! You made me! B-Ben could nev’r k’ll...an’body!...I..I had to k’ll _him_ ,” Ben cried.

 _What are you blathering about? You’re not making any sense._ _I'm never allowing you booze again._

Ben sobbed, “I had to. He was weak an’ sstu-pid.”

Hux realized that they were talking about two different things. Hux was talking about Lord Xorahhn, but Ben was talking about himself.

_Oh.That’s why you wanted to change your name, and I’ve been teasing you about it._

“My Love, I’m sorry I treated you like a child,” Hux said. “You’re not a child, you’re not weak, and you’re not stupid.”

Ben buried his face in arms.

“Forgive me, please,” Hux said.

Ben muttered something Hux couldn’t understand.

“What? I didn’t hear you,” Hux said, rubbing his back.

Ben lifted his head and shouted, “I hate you!”

_Don’t say that if you don’t mean it. You don’t mean it. You don’t mean it._

“You don’t mean it, it’s just the booze, don’t say it if you don’t mean it,” Hux said.

_Don’t mean it. It will kill me if you mean it. Please, please, don’t mean it._

“I do,” Ben said languidly.

Hux pulled him tightly into his chest. Ben didn’t fight him but didn’t embrace him in return, either.

_No, no, no. Why are you saying this now? You said you loved me._

Ben muttered, “I do hate you, Ben, s’why I killed you.”

Hux’s sudden relief sucked the air from his lungs, and he burst simultaneously into tears and laughter.

“S’so fuunny?” Ben said.

_My heart nearly broke in two over a silly, drunken misunderstanding._

“Kylo, never scare me like that again,” Hux said.

“You--you call’d me...” Ben said, blinking at him, suddenly lucid.

_I love you, Kylo, I will never stop loving you. But, please, never scare me like that again. I'm never, ever allowing you booze again!_

“You called me Kylo,” Ben said again, touching Hux’s lips as if it was something he had never expected to hear. Hux kissed Ben’s fingers.

“Of course I did, that’s your name,” Hux said, smiling and wiping his eyes, pretending the tears welling there were just dust. 

“Thank you, My Love,” Ben said threading his fingers through Hux’s hair, flitting his eyelids, distracted. “Your hair. It’s so pretty and...red.”

_Don’t tell me you never noticed the color of my hair before._

“I never said it before,” Ben said.

“Well, thank you, but we should get you into bed before you pass out on the floor,” Hux sat Ben up to lean against the sofa then tried to pull him to his feet.

“Mmmm, no, stay,” Ben said, grabbing Hux’s between the legs, which was then conveniently at face height for him. Ben unbuckled Hux’s belt, undoing Hux’s pants and nudging them down. Hux shuddered as Ben exposed him to the room’s chilly air.

“Ooooooh,” Hux exhaled as Ben’s warm breath tickled him, his lips barely brushing. He then bit his lip, embarrassed at how loud he had moaned.

“Mmmmmmm,” Ben took him in his mouth. Fully. Not gagging even once. He moved and sucked slowly, deliberately.

_You haven’t been practicing on anyone else, have you?_

Ben looked up at him as if he had heard that thought.

_How can you still look so innocent?_

Ben’s head dipped and he put a slight twist into his motion.

“Ahhhhh…”

Hux wobbled, his legs shaking.

“We should ...move to the bed...it won’t be...comfortable here,” Hux said, taking a step back.

Ben stopped momentarily to say, “Don’t care,” then clutched the back of Hux’s thighs to pull him toward him.

Hux grasped Ben’s hair. Ben opened his own pants.

 _That Arth’sine_ _is really effective on you, isn’t it, My Love?_

Ben stood, crawling up Hux’s torso. Curling his fingers to the nape of Hux’s neck, pulling him close, breathing into Hux’s parted lips, Ben slipped his tongue into Hux’s mouth before their lips met.

He rubbed himself against Hux, hooking his leg behind his calf, causing Hux to lose his balance and fall. He reached out for the sofa, but missed, landing on the floor with Ben on top of him.

Unphased, Ben continued his assault on Hux’s lips. 

“It’s so bright,” Ben said.

Hux had to push him away to take a breath.

_What?_

The room was rather dim, so Ben’s words confused him.

“The light,” Ben said. “Between us. Can you see it?”

Hux chuckled and resumed kissing him, certain that the _Arth’sine_ was also giving Ben hallucinations.

Ben slithered the rest of the way out of his pants, sucked his fingers and reached between his legs to stimulate himself

“I killed him,” Ben said, this time without any regret or sorrow in his voice.

_I’m sorry._

_I’m sorry I made you do that._

Dragging his nails across Hux’s chest, Ben yanked open Hux’s shirt and clawed his bare skin. He bent forward, licking along Hux's chest, his tongue circling a nipple, then squeezing it tenderly in his teeth.

"Hhhhhhh!"

Ben stroked himself, kissing and licking Hux’s chest. “I liked it, My Love. I liked killing him.” Ben sucked Hux’s shoulder, then bit hard into his neck.

Hux gasped.

_Oh. Ben._

Ben slid down to bury his face in Hux's groin again before lowering himself onto his slicked cock.

“Oh, My Love!” Hux exclaimed. Amazing! It felt so amazing. He had thought nothing could surpass that last time--when Ben had gazed into his eyes with such love and desire that Hux had thought his heart would explode with joy. But this was new experience--a different level.

_The Arth’sine must be having an effect on me, too._

He thought he could see a faint shimmer around them, like light reflecting off water.

“But, it was over too fast, I wanted more," Ben said, kissing the spot he’d just bitten. "I _want_ more." 

_Oh. Kylo._

“I know you hate when I ask for favors,” Ben said, looking at him like a child pleading for a sweet, “But, will you give me more, My Love?”

_Oh. My Love._

_How can I deny you, now? While you are making me feel so good? While you are looking at me with those sweet eyes?  I fell in love with your sweet, kind eyes. Those innocent eyes. How can they look so pure while begging me to make you a monster?_

_I’m sorry I wronged you. I should have kept you sheltered, never let you out, treasured and kept your innocence. I loved Ben because he was what I could never be. I never wanted him to be like me. I would be the biggest monster of all if I granted your wish. It’s too late, though, Ben is gone, now. You can never go back._

_Yes, My Love, I will._

“Don’t be sad, My Love,” Ben said.

_I will never be sad as long as you’re here. Ben. Kylo. The name doesn't matter. You are My Love and I will never stop loving you._

Engaging Hux in a powerful kiss, Ben began to move faster. His gentle rocking became a spirited bouncing.

_Never stop._

_My Love, can we keep this moment forever? Surely, what we’ve gained is worth what we’ve lost. I wanted you to stay innocent, but I wanted you to love me. I thought I could have both. But, there was no way to have both._

 

Innocence.

Love.

 

You can destroy one, and it will never return,

 

but the other is immortal.

 

“I will never stop.”

 

 .........

 

Hux woke on the bed, Ben--Kylo--sprawled on top of him, drooling onto his chest, morning light piercing through the thin hotel blinds. He felt like he had awoken from a fever dream. His recollection of the night before was vivid, hyper-realistic, but had ethereal qualities. He remembered seeing a shimmering halo around him and Ben as they made love. He remembered Kylo clearly speaking to him, and not thinking at the time how odd it was that his lips weren’t moving.

_No, that couldn’t have been a hallucination. He said there was a light between us, and I saw it, so if it was a hallucination, it was a shared hallucination. Is that even possible?_

Not wanting to wake Kylo, he fussed his hair airily.

_No, I suppose not. It must have been just a hallucination. But did he really say those things, or did I imagine that he did?_

He felt his neck where Kylo had bitten him and flinched. Still tender.

_Well, that part really happened, at least._

Kylo shifted, and made a small, irritated noise. He tilted his head just enough to peer at Hux through his mess of hair.

“Good morning, My Love,” Hux smiled.

“G’Mornin’... Hermit,” Kylo said sleepily.

Hux had been right, it was the most adorable thing he could say to him.

However, if he said as much, Kylo would be pissed.

He brushed Kylo’s hair away from his eyes.

“You’re still going to be obstinate, aren’t you, Kylo?” Hux said, kissing his brow.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 


	9. Antagonist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> Why do you make me hate you after I’ve decided to love you?
> 
> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> Hux suspects Kylo has a hidden talent that, if controlled, he may be able to use to his benefit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the hiatus. To make it up to you, I've included a chapter illustration.
> 
>  
> 
> Warning for this chapter: non-consensual breathplay

 

 

 

 

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

Kylo gazed at the plain, gray ceiling, deciding whether or not he wanted to put on clothing. He would probably put on something nice for Hux, but his shift wouldn't be ending for hours and it was pointless before then, really. Although, the bed covers were rough, so that was a reason. He pulled back the bedspread. The sheets were bit nicer, but not much. The lack of anything above basic comforts made him miss the suite at Lord Xorahhn’s tower with its huge bed and fluffy pillows that he could have dissolved into. That made this seem like sleeping on a stack of pallets.

Coming back to _The Finalizer_ had made him realize just how dispiriting Hux’s quarters were. Even though he had now chosen to be there, it felt more like a cage than ever.

He thought back to that last night on Coruscant: resting his head on Hux’s shoulder while Hux delicately stroked the back of his neck with his fingernails, looking out across the vast city from their hotel window, feeling more content that he could ever remember feeling.

The rest of those few days on Coruscant had more _eventful_ , to put it lightly, but they had also been something he didn’t want to dwell on.

It still hadn’t sunk in that he had knowingly and intentionally killed someone. He wondered when he would feel remorse about it. He didn’t want to feel remorse, but if he wasn’t going to feel some degree of satisfaction, he would prefer to feel remorse over apathy.

It was the first time he had killed someone. Whenever confronted with a decision to kill someone, he had always aimed wildly in the hopes that he would miss — as far as he knew, he always had.

It wasn’t the first _thing_ he had killed, though.

Once, when he was about five or six, he had found a baby bird on the ground and took it home. It died in his hands a few hours later. He cried for days. The life of that bird been more significant to him than the life of a sentient being. An evil sentient being, to be sure. Maybe that’s why he felt apathetic about disposing of him.

A thought kept scratching in the back of his brain

_I should have made him suffer._

His stomach clenched, that thought made him feel sick.

It was right to rid the Galaxy of evildoers, Hux had assured him. Not only should they take every opportunity to do so but should actively seek out villains to dispose of them. Lord Xorahhn had been a villain, had hurt people, had hurt  _him_. By any measurement, the warlord’s life  _should_ have been worth less than a bird’s.

_Just because he was evil doesn’t mean he should have suffered. It wasn’t revenge. I did it to help people. Justice is its own reward, right? Then why don’t I feel rewarded? Why do I feel nothing? I didn’t want justice. I wanted revenge._

He got up and paced, hoping that moving around would shake away those thoughts. It didn’t help — The thoughts didn’t go away.

His travel cases were still unpacked. Hux had bought him a second case because he’d purchased more clothing than would fit into one. He opened one of them. Nestled on top: His trophy — the lightsaber —  and his collar and chain.

He picked up the hilt — it felt heavier than he remembered. Suddenly, the image of the fiery blade hovering over Lord Xorahhn’s neck bore into his mind. It seemed more vivid than reality. He saw his hand holding the hilt, the red plasma blade dropping effortlessly through blue skin, red flesh, then vertebrae, sizzling, burning. No blood. The body waited a second before it fell -- as if it didn’t register that it was dead. He felt nothing.

Kylo threw the lightsaber to the side. It skittered across the floor.

The vision had been so matter-of-fact. He felt more angry than anything else. Angry at himself for not feeling something else.

He picked up the collar and held it up to his neck. He had wanted to keep it to remind himself of the person he was now. But the feeling of it touching his skin sickened him.

_I am truly his pet. I killed for him._

He threw the collar and chain. It clattered against the wall, falling in the corner.

He grabbed a handful of folded clothes and shoved them into a dresser drawer. He filled the dresser but still had a second case full of clothing. He kicked the case.

He draped a silk robe around himself and flopped back onto the bed. The ceiling was so gray it suffocated him.

 

@~~~~~~~@

 

An officer handed Hux a deployment schedule that he had to sign. There was a new batch of stormtroopers ready for their first assignments. Supreme Leader Snoke had made clear his plans, giving Hux only the appearance of authority to his subordinates. He signed without making any adjustments.

His mind wandered to the events that transpired on Coruscant: Ben had sworn complete loyalty to him, insisted on being called “Kylo” as a symbolic severing of ties to his family. He had faltered when faced with killing his father but had shown no hesitation when given the opportunity to kill a very powerful gangster, even selecting a particularly gruesome execution method. Yes, Ben — Kylo — could be quite barbaric under the right circumstances.

_I can use that primal savagery. Yes, he could be very useful to me indeed. But, it also means I may have to shorten his chain, in some regards. I can’t have him turning on me. Although he swore to never leave me, he did not swear to never kill me._

A shudder ran through him. He had never once thought that Kylo might challenge his dominance, like a young, ambitious male Nexu that senses weakness in the alpha. No, he can’t let that happen.

He thought to that last night in their hotel room, overlooking the city. That evening was blurry. They had imbibed some mild hallucinogens, but Hux was certain that something else had fogged his recollection. It almost felt like Kylo ...

_No, that’s ridiculous._

Out of curiosity, he pulled up the First Order databank search on a nearby console and typed: Telepathic species. Dozens of species appeared on the screen. He filtered the list by 'Near-Human'. He skimmed a few entries but decided that there was a near zero percent chance that Kylo was not human. Then something caught his eye: certain drugs could be utilized to enhance telepathic ability.

Could drinking the Arth’sine have inadvertently awakened some latent psychic ability? He did a quick search but didn’t find any evidence of that ever happening.

_Hmmmm._

While puzzling over what might have happened, something else drew his attention: the use of telepathic projection of extreme pleasure as a form of mind control. If Kylo did have some sort of psychic ability, Hux would be wise to harness it immediately. That would give him time to figure a way to hone it to his advantage. This could potentially give him a significant advantage but could get out of control quickly.

He had given him too loose a leash of late, particularly that last night on Coruscant. He had stupidly allowed Kylo to manipulate him.

_If he does have mind control powers, how much has he been manipulating me? I might not even be aware of it...He may not even be aware of it._

He slammed his hand on the console.

Then searched: telepathic inhibitors.

 

@~~~~~~~~@

 

Kylo received a notification that Hux might be working later than usual and to have dinner without him. Confused as to how he was going to do that since the cupboards were locked to him, Kylo concluded that Hux would have some food delivered.

But a moment later, the mini console by the bed beeped, prompting him for a hand-scan. He cautiously touched his hand to the screen. Then a message scrolled the screen: access approved — and a small, holographic diagram outlining the room flashed, lighting up the cupboard doors.

As he got up to check to see if the cupboards were, in fact, unlocked, he stumbled over the open suitcase. He started to shove it under the bed, but then had the thought: if the cupboards were unlocked, maybe the closet was, too.

He checked the closet door. It opened.

Black First Order uniforms and a couple of heavy, wool coats hung in the closet — all neatly pressed and neatly spaced. Pushing the uniforms together made plenty of room for his new suits. As he began hanging up his suits, he accidentally kicked a stack of holo-tapes over.

Crouching to restack them, he spotted something strange and out of place in the back of the closet.

A metal glint — Chains.

Next to them, cuffs, a metal bar, and... _that_ rope. His heart caught in his throat. His mind flashed to the coarse fiber cutting into his skin. He rubbed his arms, shuddering, shaking it out of his head.

_Don’t think about it. I deserved it, anyway. Act like an animal, get treated like one._

These other accouterments, however, he had never seen before.

_He must be planning to use them at some point, otherwise, why would he have them?_ _He must be waiting for me to screw up._

He pushed the items back and stacked the holo-tapes in front of them before finishing hanging up his suits. Their gaudy colors and textures contrasted with the stark black of Hux’s uniforms.

 

Hux returned late. Kylo sat at the table trying to pry open the lightsaber with a butter knife.  

“Good evening, My Love,” Kylo said, getting up to kiss him.

“Have you fixed this thing?” Hux asked.

_How am I supposed to have fixed it in one day with no tools?_

“I haven’t had much luck so far,” Kylo said.

“I might want to use you for another business trip in a few days. That weapon would be effective for... _gentle_ coercion _,”_ Hux said.

“What, uh, what do you mean by ‘gentle’ coercion?” Kylo asked.

_I’ve already killed one person for you, isn’t that enough?_

“Merely scare tactics. If I dressed you all in black, gave you a hood or mask or something, you’d be quite intimidating. Just wave that weapon in their face and you probably wouldn’t have to hurt anyone...much.”

_Much_.

“I have something for you.” Hux produced a small, velvet box from his pocket. Something glinted as he opened it.

A chill ran through Kylo.

“It’s... a chain?”

“It’s a necklace,” Hux said.

_It looks like a chain._

“In some cultures, the gifting of jewelry is considered a symbol of love.” Hux smiled.

_It’s a symbol, all right. It symbolizes that you own me. It’s a chain. A very pretty chain but a chain nonetheless._

“I…” Kylo reached out to take the chain from the box, but Hux took it out instead and stood behind him.

“Allow me,” Hux said, draping it around Kylo’s neck. Kylo lifted his hair out of the way so that Hux could clasp it.

“Thank you,” Kylo said. It wasn’t as tight, or wide as the collar had been, but it felt just the same. Oppressive.

Hux hugged him from behind, running his finger along the chain. “It looks so good on you.”

_Alright, My Love, I gave you something, now you give me something._

Tapping the lightsaber with the butter knife, Kylo said, “So, this might take a while to fix.”

“What if you had some proper tools?” Hux suggested. “I can’t imagine a butter knife being very useful.”

“That would certainly make it easier, but until I know what’s wrong with it, I can’t really say how long it will take to fix.”

Kylo had thought he could maybe get a screwdriver and possibly a soldering iron, but Hux said, ”I’ll allow you access to Machine Shop Twelve, I’m sure it will have everything you need.”

“Thank you,” Kylo said and found himself smiling.

“It’s late, now, so I’ll have someone show where it is tomorrow,” Hux said. “Did you have supper?”

Kylo nodded. He hadn’t. He had felt slightly nauseous all day, and finding the chain in the closet and now this chain tickling his neck only made it worse. If he ate something, he was certain it would not stay down.

Hux petted Kylo’s head before going to the refresher to shower.

A few minutes later, the water turned off and Kylo heard yelling.

“Hey! What did you do?”

Hux came through the doorway like he was ready to kill something, startling Kylo so much he nearly fell out of his chair.

“I just-I put my clothes away, that’s all,” Kylo said as he steadied himself.

“You crammed all my uniforms together. They’re all going to be wrinkled. I swear, Kylo, you are the most uncivilized creature I’ve ever known,” Hux scolded.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll put them back.” He stood, but Hux shoved him back down into the chair.

“It’s too late, they’re already wrinkled,” Hux loomed over him. “I buy you beautiful clothes — and jewelry — and then you do this. By disrespecting First Order uniforms, you are disrespecting the First Order, you are disrespecting me.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disrespect the First Order, or you,” Kylo said.

“We are one and the same. I _am_ The First Order, I thought you understood that,” Hux said. “And you are, too, so, until you learn respect for the First Order and fully realize you are a part it, you will wear a uniform.”

 

Hux called a droid to have his uniforms pressed and acquire some uniforms for Kylo. The droid brought the uniforms—not black, like Hux’s, but gray. As drab and oppressive as Hux’s quarters.

Hux ordered the droid to confiscate all of Kylo’s new clothing, including his silk robe. After the droid left, he stood there, naked, for a minute or two until Hux said impatiently, “Put one on, I want to make sure that I gauged the size correctly.”

Kylo put on one of the uniforms. It was stiff and starched. He felt more embarrassed wearing it than wearing nothing.

“Stand straighter,” Hux demanded.

Kylo straightened.

Hux scrutinized him, a satisfied grin creeping across his face.

“Do you pledge your allegiance to the First Order?”

_You play this game very well, My Love. But I am still determined to win. I’ll wear your uniform, and recite these empty words, but I’ll never be a part of the First Order. Saying it doesn’t make it true._

“Yes. I vow my life to the First Order,” Kylo replied.

Hux nodded curtly, “Good, take off that uniform and _respectfully_ hang it in the closet.”

Kylo slipped off the uniform and took it to the closet, hanging it on the rack so that it didn’t touch anything else. As he passed the mirror, he looked at the chain. Interwoven links lay flatly against his neck. It was very nice. It must have cost Hux more than a few credits — Unless he obtained it illicitly. He shuffled it in his fingers, unable to find a where it fastened.

He donned Hux’s robe and returned to the main room.

Hux said, “Take a shower, I still plan on ravishing you.”

Kylo turned his back to Hux, lifting his hair aside. “Can you remove this? I can’t find the clasp.”

Hux pressed his lips to the back of Kylo’s neck. “Oh no, My Love, don’t tell me you want to remove my gift so soon?”

 

Kylo didn’t take too long of a shower. Hux was already in a coarse mood and he didn’t want to irritate him further. He put on some cologne and entered the bedroom to find Hux reclining naked on the bed.

He crawled slowly onto the bed, and Hux pulled him into a kiss, hooking one finger under the chain. It felt less ticklish, now, and more scratchy. He wanted so much to hate Hux just then. To hate him for forcing him to wear such a harsh symbol of subjugation. But, fingers gently floated down his throat, and his heart jumped, a brassy thumping in his chest.  He wanted to hate him, but his caress— as light and pure as a flower touching the surface of a pool — softened his nerve and he fell into the embrace.

_How can a man such as you be so gentle? You really do love me, but will you ever see me as anything but a cherished possession? I know I should hate you, yet when you touch me like this, all I want is this. All I want is to be your cherished possession._

Their lips met again. One hand rubbed the bumps of his spine, keeping him close, the other teased his nipples, twisting and pinching. Kylo’s hand, which had been between them in feigned resistance, wandered to his antagonist’s navel, then trailed down. Hux was so warm. Ironic.

The hand on his back slid down to push his hips closer. He moved his hand to squeeze Hux’s buttocks, their groins, their most vulnerable parts, nudging up against each other — an expression of intimacy shared with no one else, experiencing the person next to him in a way that no one else ever would. He was special. He was a cherished possession. Hux loved him more than anything. In these moments, Kylo wondered why he was often so stubborn.

Reaching behind Kylo’s head for the lubrication bottle on the bedside stand, Hux lifted Kylo’s thigh, pushing him slightly onto his back. Kylo’s lower body clenched as warm fingers eased into him. A tongue swirled around his nipple. Then teeth nipped.

“Ah!” Kylo’s entire body tensed.

“Relax,” Hux murmured. “I’m not mad at you anymore.”

No, Kylo was mad at _him_. Hux rolled his fingers inside him. Kylo groaned. He was trying to stay mad at him, but Hux was making it difficult. Hux pressed closer, undulating his hips, thrusting his fingers more vigorously. The tightness in his stomach spiked down his thighs like electricity. The fingers moved faster, impossibly fast, it seemed. Kylo clawed Hux’s shoulder. His body shuddered. The world fell away and there was only heat and friction and intense pleasure. He couldn’t hold it any longer, all the tension released like a wave crashing on a shore.

Kylo flopped onto his back as if his muscles had all melted.

Hux slipped down to lick Kylo’s spunk-sprinkled belly, dragging his tongue from his navel along his abdomen.

“You’re not getting off that easily,” Hux laughed, charmed by his own wit.

He slicked himself, lifted Kylo’s thighs, and slid in. Kylo hissed. Hux’s fingers had been uncomfortably warm, but his shaft was  _hot_ — hotter than usual. Nice at first, the vigorous pumping quickly became an unbearable burning.

“Arh! Slow down...too hot.” Kylo squirmed halfheartedly. Hux covered Kylo’s face with a pillow to shush him, panting sharply as if he was in pain as well.

Kylo’s own breath stifled him. He squirmed more strenuously, trying to pull the pillow away, but that just provoked Hux to press it down harder. Kylo grasped Hux’s arms, but he couldn’t budge them any more than he could tree trunks.

The burning friction of Hux’s relentless thrusting clashed with the panic pounding in his chest. His hips jerked upward. His back arched off the bed. He pounded Hux’s chest with all his might. His screams reverberated in his own head, the pillow preventing them from escaping. Hux was going to kill him!

Hux mercifully stopped moving. Kylo yanked the pillow off, the cool air stung his red, wet face. Hux, still pinning him, nuzzled Kylo under the chin, humming contently, while Kylo gasped for breath.

“That was so good!” Hux said.

Kylo was too wracked to respond.

“Hey, you weren’t scared were you?” Hux said. “I just wanted to try something new, and it seems you liked it, too.” Hux leaned off him, and Kylo realized he had come a second time. And he still had an erection.

“Mmmmm, that stuff really works. You look like you could go again.” Hux said.

Kylo scrambled off the bed and into the refresher as fast as he could. His body was burning.  There must have been something in that lube. He turned on the shower and stood under the cold water.

Hux opened the shower door and stepped in with him. He turned the water to a more reasonable temperature. Hux lathered the soap and rubbed it on Kylo’s chest in soothing circles.

“My Love, you are mine and I can do whatever I want with you, but I would never hurt you. You know that, right?” Hux said, tilting his head as he lathered Kylo’s abdomen.

Kylo bit the inside of his lip to keep from shedding tears.

_Why do you treat your special thing like this? I’m less than a lover, less than even a pet. Why do you want to make me hate you after I’ve decided to love you?_

_This couldn’t just be because of wrinkled uniforms, could it? It’s to show me that, despite bowing to a few trivial whims, you are not going to relinquish control so easily. You’ll never see me as an equal until I force you to. But, it can’t be like the force of an army — otherwise you’ll raise up your defences and fight back. It must be the force of an unassuming river that, given enough time, can carve out the deepest canyon._

He thought back to Coruscant. He had tried to show Hux that he loved him. Hux seemed happy that Kylo initiated intimacy, had seemed happier than Kylo remembered him ever being. Kylo wanted that, again. He wanted Hux to hold him without any other demands except to be held in return. _Why was it so hard to find that perfect place? Why must you always be so antagonistic? You act as though we are enemies._

Hux genuflected to wash Kylo’s legs. He worked his way up Kylo’s calves to the back of his thighs. Moving around to the front, his sudsy hands glided between Kylo’s legs. Kylo exhaled, moving his legs apart.

Rubbing small circles on the underside of Kylo's cock with his thumb, his lips parted slowly enveloping the rosy head, while those eyes looked at him. Harsh yet beautiful. Like melting ice. Kylo, unable to look into those eyes, closed his own and backed against the cold tile.

_How dare you? How fucking dare you? You think you’re doing me a favor? It’s as much of a favor as starving someone before offering them stale bread. Of course they’re going to devour it._

Water ran down his body in spumy rivulets. Warm wetness enveloped him. Lips and tongue and a slight scraping of teeth against his burning arousal. Kylo’s hands made their way down.

He twirled a strand of Hux’s hair around his finger.

_You play this game well, My Love. I’m an idiot for thinking it would be easy. I am as stubborn as you are, though, and I will make you submit to me one day, but tonight, I forfeit._

 

 

 

 ~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Antagonist: The impetus of change.


	10. I Hate You; Don't Leave Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> I hate you; don't leave me.
> 
> ~~~~~@~~~~~

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

Kylo fidgeted.

He sat across from Hux in the small shuttle, turning his lightsaber over in his hands. Hux had provided him with an all-black outfit which comprised of about five layers of thick canvas and wool, hindering range of movement, but making him appear much bulkier. And it was itchy as hell. 

Hux told him, “Just look intimidating, it probably won’t come to violence.”

They were taking a shuttle to Qellha, the capital city on Gyr Prime. Gyr was an unaligned system. Hux hoped to barter a takeover of the sector to improve supply routes for the First Order as well as guarantee that they wouldn’t offer aid to the Resistance.

Two of the sector leader’s attaches met them at the landing platform. They had copper skin and silver hair and wore clothing more befitting a servant than a diplomat.

“Governor Qel and the free system of Gyr welcome you,” one of them said.

“He will see you right away,” said the other.

Hux and Kylo followed them into a modest structure that turned out to be the Governor’s seat. It didn’t look important on the outside, Kylo couldn’t distinguish it from any other buildings in the area, and it was less impressive on the inside, drab with nothing adorning the walls and very little furniture.

Governor Qel, who also wore meager clothing, appearing to be no higher in status than his cohorts, rose from a wooden chair to greet them. Two other men stood to either side of him. Kylo wasn’t sure if they were guards or diplomatic associates. The two that had escorted them took their place next to the Governor.

“The free system of Gyr welcomes you,” Qel said taking Hux’s hand firmly in his hands.

“I appreciate you taking the time to meet with me, Governor Qel,” Hux said. “This is my...Enforcer, Kylo.”

_Enforcer? Well, that is definitely a step up from swain._

Kylo didn’t say anything, didn’t even smile, trying his best to look intimidating.

“Enforcer?” Qel said, releasing Hux’s hands and stepping back.

“I hope you have had the time to read my proposal,” Hux said.

Qel put his hands together. “I have. As you know, General, we are a neutral sector, we have no alliance with anyone in this war of yours. So I cannot possibly agree to a First Order installation here. You are welcome to travel through our system, however, as long as there are no attempts to occupy the sector space or its worlds.”

Hux pressed his lips together. “In order to have a secure supply route, we would have to have some kind of semi-permanent presence.”

“I cannot allow that. We have never had military installments of any kind on this world or in this sector,” Qel said.

“Can I have a guarantee that there will be no interference by the Republic?”

“I have asked the the Republic, and I will also ask of the First Order, that there will be no aggressive engagements in our territory.”

Hux shook his head, “That’s not good enough. I am offering Gyr First Order protection as well as improved trade with several systems. You can only benefit from this agreement.”

The Gyr Governor sighed and parted his hands. “There will be no agreement between us and The First Order.”

“I see.” Hux signaled Kylo. Kylo yanked the saber from his belt and ignited it inches from the Governor’s face.

One of Qel’s agents tackled the Governor to the floor. In the same instant, one slipped behind Hux. Another behind Kylo. Another pushed the Governor’s chair at him and dropped to a crouch. Kylo wasn’t sure which one to focus on. A sudden stinging in his arm. He dropped the saber. It sizzled on the bare stone floor.

The man behind him grabbed him in a choke-hold and kicked the back of his knee. Kylo collapsed. He tried to shake him off, but his numbed arm hung uselessly. The man let go of him, but when he scrambled to get back up, he realized his leg had been stunned, as well.

“Now, General Hux, I would suggest that you leave, before things get out of hand,” the Governor said calmly. One of the Governor’s men had picked up the saber. He handed it to Qel.

“I would have thought the First Order would have more elegant weapons,” Qel said before extinguishing it.

Hux narrowed his eyes at the Governor then cautiously helped Kylo up.

Qel thrust the saber in Hux’s direction. “Take your tools of death elsewhere, this is a planet of peace.”

“You have made an enemy today, Governor.” Hux yanked the saber out of his hands. Then he helped a limping Kylo back to their shuttle.

 

As Hux lowered him into his seat, Kylo said, “I’m sorry, Hux.”

“No, it’s my fault for thinking you’d be up to this task,” then mumbled, “I should have brought stormtroopers.”

Hux dropped the saber in Kylo’s lap and took his own seat.

As feeling began to trickle back into his arm, Kylo turned the saber over in his hands. For them to just give it back to him, it must have looked like a piece of junk. He was always fairly decent at fixing things, although never with any finesse. When he had taken it to the machine shop to fix it, he discovered that the power crystal was cracked. Without a replacement crystal, the blade would remain unstable. Hoping that he could prevent the weapon from exploding by lessening the energy build-up, he had cut two small vents on either side of the crystal housing and fabricated protective shrouds for the vents. Then he discovered that he had to re-route the power cells to the regulator to keep it from extinguishing itself immediately, opting to cut a section of the casing open to attach a connector wire. The result was hodgepodge, to say the least. It did look like a piece of junk.

“Don’t worry, we’ll blast this place off the map. That just takes time and resources, so I always try negotiating first. Our intel reported that this was a pacifist system, so I didn’t expect them to have weapons — those underhanded bastards. Goes to show why you should never let your guard down.” Hux pinched his lips together and tented his fingers, glaring straight ahead, plotting a fittingly brutal retaliation, no doubt.

Kylo nodded slightly. He knew there was nothing he could do to prevent Qellha and its surrounding cities from becoming a black smudge on the Gyrian landscape.

Neither said anything further until the shuttle entered the landing bay on _The Finalizer._

Putting his hand on Kylo’s shoulder as they exited the shuttle, Hux said, “Consider that a test of your base skill level. I wanted to start you with something fairly easy. Needless to say, your performance was less than satisfactory. But it wasn’t _entirely_ your fault. They weren’t supposed to have weapons.“ Then added, “Remind me to have the entire intel team flogged. Publically.”  

Kylo was not going to remind him of that.

They walked out into the corridor.

Hux continued, “Before your next mission, I’d like you to have some melee training, starting tomorrow.”

_Next mission._

Kylo had failed so miserably, he was surprised that Hux was giving him another chance.

“I’ll be gone for the next several days. I have a few more visits to make to nearby planets. We’d like to set up some supply routes in this sector, and we will benefit from as many allies as we can get, particularly if Gyr is going to resist us. I’ll assign a couple of stormtroopers to act as escorts for you and to get you anything you need. Alright?” Hux said.

Kylo nodded, he knew that it wasn’t so much a question as a command.

 

———————————-

 

Two stormtroopers met him at the door.

“We heve been ordered to take you to training room R-11.” One of them said.

Kylo was still in his robe.

Hux had left early, telling a half-asleep Kylo to sleep in. Which he had, and had gotten up only a little while before.

“Oh, yeah,” Kylo said, almost forgetting that Hux wanted him to start training today. “Give me a minute.”

He shut the door. He discovered a training outfit had been set out for him, loose but very durable canvas fatigues, a tight, sleeveless shirt, and a canvas jacket — which Kylo guessed was for presentation purposes while he was escorted through the ship. Hux always wanted him to look sharp whenever he was “on display”.

Kylo opened the door. The 'troopers stared at him. At least, he assumed they were staring, they could have been sleeping standing up, for all he could tell. “Okay, let’s go,” Kylo said, and they lead him down several corridors to the training rooms.

The room was large. A stand of battered training weapons was against one wall and a strange-looking, ball-shaped droid with several odd appendages hovered in the middle of the room. The two troopers stood silently at the entrance.  

He removed his jacket.

While Kylo had been in a fair share of brawls, his hand-to-hand fighting skills were limited. He usually went for the “sucker punch, then run like hell” technique.

The droid buzzed and beeped. A holographic display flickered on, showing a demonstration of the attack he was supposed to execute. It was an overhead, pummeling attack with a baton and seemed brutish even to Kylo’s crude standards of fighting.

He took a baton from the stand, approached the droid, planted his feet, swung over his head. The next second he was on the floor, clutching his stomach. The droid had punched him so fast with a hydraulic arm that he hadn’t even seen it move.

_Oh, this is fair._

The droid beeped.

“Give me a damn second! This is a training lesson, right? You don’t have to hit so hard!” Kylo yelled at it. He had gotten to his hands and knees when the hologram flashed, demonstrating a swiping to the legs.

_What?_

He couldn’t leg sweep an opponent that didn’t have legs. He threw the baton at the droid. It caught it and hurled it back, knocking him in the head. It beeped angrily. The projection displayed a figure tossing his weapon away with big, red text over it :Do NOT self-disarm:

Retrieving the baton, he got to a defensive position. The hologram flashed: overhead swing.

_Oh no, you cheating bastard_

He slid his leg forward, bringing the baton up to shoulder height, appearing to start a swing above his head, but instead, lunged forward, thrusting it into the droid’s single eye. It squealed.

“Haha! No, that isn’t cheating!” Kylo said.

 

———————————-

 

Kylo could barely lift the baton when the lesson was finally over. He’d done that over-the-head swing about a hundred times. He’d figured out the droid’s pattern early on, which it didn’t seem to deviate from, and could bash it squarely on its dome almost every time. It was a durable thing, that droid, but stupid. He could always fake a move and catch it off guard. It would accuse him of cheating, of course, and make him do the attack as instructed.

A score card flashed: Lesson 1 - Completed: 70% - execution: 30% - finesse: 13% - skill level: 1 - Overall: Needs work - Recommendation: repeat lesson.

Kylo sighed.

 _Great_.

He’d have to repeat this lesson, this stupid, clumsy, slow attack that he would never use.

He racked the baton.

The stormtroopers had not moved from their station next to the door.

_That is probably a miserable existence._

Even though Hux would humiliate him by making him recite the First Order mantra over and over, Kylo felt grateful that he didn't have to stand at attention for hours on end.

“I guess I’m done,” Kylo said, grabbing his jacket.  

The troopers opened the door and he exited between them. They walked slightly behind him this time. He tried to remember the route back to Hux’s quarters. As he made a turn onto the main corridor one of them grabbed his shoulder. He thought he had made a wrong turn.

“Yeah, thanks, you’re a big help,” Kylo said.

The trooper suddenly released him and went stiff, blaster held tight to his chest. The other did the same. He realized that their captain, Captain Phasma, had just turned down the corridor, flanked by six other ‘troopers.  He awkwardly straightened himself.

Although the stormtrooper captain technically held no authority over him, she was still very intimidating. She stood a head taller than the regular ‘troopers and had polished armor that reflected a stretched and warped image of the surrounding walls and blinking panels — making it strangely difficult for him to focus his eyes on her.

The captain paused in front of them, tilting her head slightly, looking at him. Although her helmet hid her face, those black lenses felt scrutinizing.

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” She said.

He thought he was in trouble for sure, even though he had done nothing wrong.

When the stormtroopers to either side of him said nothing, he forced himself to say something, “I was...I was in training room, uh, R, um something. Hux wanted me to train-” Then quickly added, “I mean, General Hux...”

“I’m surprised. I thought he never let you out,” she said.

“I’m…” he felt ridiculous saying he was Hux’s Enforcer-in-training.  “He said I would benefit from some melee training.”

“Nearly everyone does,” she said. After a pause: “General Hux will not be back aboard tonight. It would be my honor if you would accompany me for dinner.”

Kylo wasn’t sure how to respond. He couldn’t turn down the captain’s request, but Hux might be jealous if he found out. He had gotten furious when someone had touched Kylo’s jacket sleeve. He supposed if Hux was gone, he wouldn’t know.

“That...that would be nice,” Kylo said.

Captain Phasma turned to the ‘troopers that stood stock still behind her, “Finish up the patrol, and you may then take the rest of the evening off.”

They nodded in unison and continued down the corridor. She gestured to Kylo’s escorts, “You two may go, as well.”

They followed their brethren, quickly catching up and falling in line.

“Shall we?” She asked, her voice sounding much more cheerful now.

Kylo smiled and followed her.

Once inside the Lounge, she relaxed even more, taking her helmet off. She had selected a table in a corner, away from most of the crowd.

“It’s Ben, right?” She said, setting her helmet on the table and scratching her fingers through her short, blonde hair — it was short enough that having a helmet on all day hadn't made it look improperly disheveled--more intentionally disheveled.

She had met him only that one time before. Since then, he had seen her around when Hux would take him on occasional strolls through the ship.

“It’s Kylo...now,” He said, nervously rubbing his fingers along the table edge.

“Ah, well, Kylo, what would you like? Tonight we have protein mash, protein mash with yellow bits, or protein mash with green bits.”

He chuckled.

She smiled and ordered them both protein mash with green bits.

 

He didn’t say much during dinner. She had asked him a few prosaic questions: How do you like _The Finalizer_? How was your trip to Coruscant? Which he answered with a shrug and an ‘okay’. She didn’t pry. So most of their dinner conversation consisted of clumsy smiles and the scraping of forks on plastic plates. After dinner, she ordered him a drink. The server droid brought two pints of a hazy ale.

“Oh, I don’t know if I should,” Kylo said.

“It’s rude to decline a drink offered by a captain.” It wasn’t an admonishment, more of a playful ribbing, but Kylo tensed.

“Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to be rude,” He said.

“I forgive you, this time,” she laughed. She held her glass up with a nod; he held up his.

“May we live and die for the First Order!” she proclaimed loudly as she clinked their glasses together. They both drank unison.

It was bitter, as beers went, Kylo found it barely palatable. He grimaced.

“Ah! G’rackian Ale! It takes some getting used to. But once you do, I promise you’ll never settle for anything else!” She said jovially.

Phasma finished her beer quickly; Kylo did his best to keep up with her. She downed three pints of the bitter brew in a matter of minutes. By the gods, could she drink! Kylo was struggling with his second when the effects of the alcohol hit him. This was stronger than average beer. Much, much stronger. He felt fuzzy and a bit dizzy. It was a pleasant feeling, though. He didn’t feel nauseous this time.

Kylo said, “This is nice. Thank you.”

“I told you you’d like it,” She said as the droid brought her a fourth round.

“No, I mean, well, the beer is...really strong. But, I mean inviting me to dinner.”

“Hey, it’s my pleasure,” she said.

“Maybe we can, um, do this again? While Hux is away?”

“You’re much more outgoing when you’re drunk.” She smiled.

Kylo’s cheeks went red, suddenly realizing that it might sound too forward. Like he was trying to go behind Hux’s back. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine. It’s nice, in fact. I’m sure you're pretty lonely all day and want someone to talk to.”

Kylo’s entire face went red. He looked down at the amber liquid in his glass.

“Oh, dear. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. I’m sorry,” Phasma said.

“No, it’s okay. You don’t think Hux will...you don’t think he’ll be mad?”

“For talking to you? He'd better not be.” Phasma's tone was one of a parent cautioning a misbehaving child.

“He’s very….possessive,” Kylo said.

Phasma leaned forward and clinked his glass with hers, “Well, you are pretty cute when you blush.”

His face turned a brighter red.

A grin brighter than her armor graced her features. “But, I don’t fly that way.”

_...Oh!_

“Oh, I, uh, I didn’t mean…”

“Hey, there’s nothing to worry about. Hux knows me. He’s not going to get jealous.” Phasma reclined back in her chair.

Kylo worried his lower lip with his teeth.

Phasma reassured him, “He won’t get mad, I promise. If he does, it will be at me, not you.”

Kylo looked up at her, about to apologize, but she held her hand up to stop him.

“It’s okay, really. I have an excuse, anyway,” she said.

“You do?”

“Yes, it’s sort of a tradition that the winner of a sparring match buys their partner a drink.”

Kylo looked very confused.

“If Hux presses, I’ll just tell him I wanted to show you a few maneuvers.”

Kylo thought for a moment, pondering the possibility of actually of learning some fighting techniques from Phasma.

“Do you...uh..do you think you could? I mean, I’d be interested, if you’re not too busy,” Kylo said, taking a large swig of his drink.

Phasma’s eyes lit up as if she had been waiting this whole time to hear that, “Yes, of course!”

 

The next evening, Phasma herself greeted him at the door. He was ready to go.

As they walked to the training room, Kylo noticed that the other ‘troopers seemed terrified of her, freezing in their tracks, their backs becoming stiff as planks when she passed by. Phasma was warm and kind to him, belying the cold, chrome exterior of her armor. He felt like he was with a friend.

In the training room, the round training droid floated in the center of the room, waiting for Kylo.

“I'll be taking care of today's lesson, BT-83, you may leave,” Phasma said. The droid beeped once and departed.

Phasma shed her armor down to a long-sleeve undershirt and thick, padded pants. Even without her armor, she cut an intimidating figure. Taller than Kylo by at least a hand, she was also very muscular. Kylo had no doubt she could snap him like a twig.

“Okay, so how much combat training have you had?” She asked.

“Well, none,” he said. “Except for that lesson yesterday.”

“That’s fine. We’ll start with defensive blocks,” she said, tossing him a baton.

She showed him four basic defense positions, one low, one high, and two mid. They repeated the stances several times. Then she mocked offensive strikes in slow motion to show him how the blocks would work against different attacks. She gradually increased her speed, and Kylo did pretty well keeping pace.

“Okay, let’s try the real deal,” she said.

_That wasn’t the real deal?_

“Position one!” she said, then attacked. Her strike was so fast Kylo was pretty sure he’d lucked out when he managed to parry it.

“Two!”

He managed to parry that one, too.

“Three!” The third strike was the charm, hitting him in the ribs. Toppling backward, he hit the floor hard, knocking the wind out of him.

Phasma extended her hand to help him up.

“Two out of three isn’t bad, right?” he huffed painfully as she pulled him up.

“Not bad, but when you can block 50 consecutive strikes, I'll be impressed.”

 

As tradition apparently dictated, she was obligated to buy him a drink afterward. She joked a lot, and would occasionally ask Kylo questions to try to get him to open up more. Had he ever flown a ship? Had he ever been to the outer rim? How many languages did he speak? The conversation was light, and Kylo never felt like she was getting too personal. Which he was grateful for. What he appreciated the most was she never drew attention to the fact he was Hux’s slave.

 

They got together for a lesson every day that week that Hux was gone.

 

At the end of the week, Phasma cut their lesson short because she was eager to try the new potable that had just been delivered to _The Finalizer_ as a peace offering from the Ful’nathir — Hux’s negotiations with the Ful’nath system had apparently gone very well. However, Hux would still not be returning for a few more days because a nearby system was still being troublesome. (Kylo hadn’t heard if the problem with Gyr had been “dealt with” and had been afraid to ask Phasma about it.)

 

They had to press through a sizable crowd as it seemed that everyone on board also wanted to try the exciting new Ful’nathir intoxicant. They ordered at the bar, then made their way to a table. It wasn’t possible to find a quiet place in the lounge tonight.

Kylo hesitantly brought the glass to his lips. The dark green alcohol had a piquant aroma that prickled his nostrils. He took a sip. The liquor burned his tongue as it seemed to evaporate instantly, sending the stinging vapor straight into his sinuses. He coughed and his eyes watered.

Phasma, who had finished about half of hers, licked her lips and nodded, “Hmmm, not bad, eh?”

“What’s this made out of?” Kylo said hoarsely, wiping his eyes and coughing.

“Some kind of spice root. It’s got quite a kick,” she said.

Kylo ventured to take another sip, and that one went down only slightly smoother.

Phasma ordered a second; Kylo had barely finished half of his and was already feeling lightheaded. His vision blurred momentarily, and he rattled his head to clear it. For some reason, he suddenly focused on a group of officers on the other side of the lounge.

Kylo knit his brow. “Those people over there, they're talking about me,” he said, nodding toward the offenders.

Phasma turned her head in the direction he had gestured.

“Those officers standing at the far end of the bar.” Kylo elaborated when Phasma seemed confused as to whom he was talking about.

Phasma looked intently at them for a moment, then said, “How do you know? You can't hear them from here, can you?”

“You can't?” Kylo said.  

“Are you sure you're a human?” Phasma joked. “Of course I can't hear them, they're too far away.” That, and the lounge was crowded and noisy.

“Huh,” Kylo said, more concerned with the topic of the officers’ conversation than how he was able to hear them. “But, yes. They are talking about how I'm the General’s pet and saying that he is going to get rid of me when he gets bored of me. Do you think that's true?”

Phasma put her hand on his, “I don't think any of that’s true. You're not his pet.”

“He said I wasn't a slave so I guess that makes me a pet,” Kylo said. “A faithful pet, too. I had the chance to run away, but I didn’t. I promised him I wouldn’t try to run again. So, I don’t know if I’m with him by choice or not.”

Kylo slid his hand out from under hers and felt for the chain at his throat. “You know, he got me this so that I would never forget that he owns me.”

“It's just a necklace,” Phasma said.

“He locked the clasp so I can't take it off,” Kylo said as he shuffled the chain in his fingers. “It's a collar, not a necklace. All I am to him is a possession. I-”

He stopped when he caught the tail-end of something one of the officer’s at the end of the bar had just said: “Yes, I just saw General Hux with one of those Ful’nathir yesterday after the treaty was signed.”

His companion replied: “They are quite an attractive species, I’m not surprised.”

Kylo’s attention on them was broken by Phasma.

“It sounds like you wouldn’t mind if he left you, if you feel that way,” she said.

Kylo crunched that statement around in his brain. How _did_ he feel? He didn’t want to be treated like a possession, but he also didn’t want Hux to discard him in favor of some shiny new plaything.

_How fucked up is that?_

“I don’t know,” he told her, “I think...I know he loves me, and I think I love him, but I just want…” He trailed off.

_I want respect. I don't t want to have to jump through flaming, spiked hoops just to get some affection. Is that too much to ask?_

“Love is a difficult thing,” Phasma said.

“It shouldn’t be. What’s so hard about enjoying being with someone?” Kylo said.

“Do you like being with him?” Phasma asked.

He looked down, ashamed of the answer: Yes. Mostly. He liked being held, he liked when Hux whispered in his ear, telling him how beautiful he was, he liked how incredible Hux could make him feel, he liked that Hux made him breakfast and would sit next to him, caressing his neck with his fingernails. He finished the rest of his drink.

“He’s nice when I do as he asks, but it’s like he’s just waiting for me to slip up. Why does he act like he hates me?” He blinked, and turned his face away, pretending to be interested in the conversation across the room— which had shifted to a discussion on the subtle changes of Hux’s new uniform.

“I’m sure he doesn’t hate you,” Phasma said kindly.

“I know, but he acts like it, sometimes,” Kylo said.

“Sometimes people don’t know when they hurt the ones they love,” Phasma said. Kylo knew she was trying to be helpful, but it all sounded to him like some vapid poster he’d see in a transit station on Coruscant for the latest theater romance.

_Oh, he knows._

Kylo said, “He does it to prove he’s in charge.”

“Being in charge is pretty much his life,” Phasma said, ordering a Ful’nathir Treaty, which was a mixed drink using the new, spicy spirits.

The thought crossed Kylo’s mind: General Hux would be nothing if he wasn’t in charge, that’s not just his life, it’s his _identity._ If only there was a way to make him understand that he didn’t need to worry about being in control when he was with him, that when they were alone in his room, he could ‘turn off’ the commandership mindset and it would be all right, that no one would lose respect for him.

He rubbed his head, the drink was catching up to him. “I just wish that he, I don’t know, loved me less.”

Phasma leaned forward, her elbows on the table, “Loved you less?”

“He has an idea of me that isn’t me,” Kylo said slumping slightly. “He imagined what I was like for three years, and that’s what he wants me to be, that’s the version of me he loves, and when I’m not like that, he acts like I’m betraying him. He’s obsessed with that other person, but if he could just let go a little, and accept I’m different than the person he imagined, we would both be a lot happier.”

“I don’t know why anyone would want you to be any different,” Phasma smiled —  a soft smile, not glowing or bright, but understanding.

“Thanks, Phasma. I wish Hux felt the same way. I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Kylo said. This alcohol was making him much more uninhibited, and he couldn’t seem to block the emotion that came pouring out of him. “Do you know why he wants me to have combat training? Because he wants me to kill people. To hurt people and kill them. I already killed for him. I’m a murderer now because of him. And now he’s going to leave me for some pretty fucking Ful’nathir!”

“Whoa, calm down,” Phasma said touching his arm. He hadn’t realized that he’d been pounding on the table with his glass.

“I hate him. I hate him!” Kylo slammed the glass down so hard it shattered.

Phasma was helping him stand up before he’d even realized she had gotten off her stool. She patted his shoulder. “Okay, no more for you. Let me take you back to your room.”

Standing up made him feel even more drunk. Phasma guided him out of the lounge.

Once they left the loud babbling of the lounge, Kylo’s head started to clear. He must have sounded insensitive and selfish. After all, Phasma and the other stormtroopers and First Order officers were all in the same situation. Their ingrained loyalty to the First Order was such that they would do anything required of them, including hurting and killing others. They would even die for the First Order. He couldn’t imagine that any cause would be worth dying for. He couldn’t imagine loving anything that much.

Walking back, he leaned almost all of his weight on her. “I’m sorry, Phasma,” he said.

“It’s alright, dear,” she said.

“No..no it’s not...I’m sure I just sound like a selfish brat,” he said sluggishly.

“You don’t. Sometimes people need to vent their anger. It’s normal. Just next time do it in the training room, okay?”

As the door to Hux’s quarter’s opened, and Phasma practically carried Kylo to the bed, he whispered, “Don’t tell him what I said.”

“I won’t.”

 

\--------------------

 

Kylo lay on the bed, on the rough bedspread, staring at the ceiling. The room was dark, illuminated by only a few console lights. He couldn’t sleep. A green light kept flashing on one of the consoles. He didn’t know how to turn it off. He covered it with his jacket. He still couldn’t sleep.

Hux had been gone for more than a week. Kylo thought he would enjoy his reprieve from Hux’s derisiveness  — and he had enjoyed Phasma’s company — but he found that he missed other things about Hux. He felt lonely in the bed all by himself without the soft breath on the back of his neck or the arm around his waist. Sometimes he would turn over in the night, expecting a warm body to curl up against only to reach out and caress a cold, empty spot next to him.

It had only been a week, but since he had gotten accustomed to Hux pleasuring him every night, he was getting a little, well, anxious, and resorted to pleasuring himself.

He lay flat on his back, his hand on himself, making little circles with his finger. He envisioned Hux’s hand stroking him instead of his own. It wasn’t the same. He rolled onto his belly and imagined Hux pressing his arms down, forcing his face down into the bed. Grinding his arousal on the bedspread, he imagined Hux’s hand brushing his buttocks, slipping a finger in and out before ramming his cock into him. He gasped.

As his fantasy progressed, Hux tied his hands to the headboard, then a soft tongue licked down his chest, his abdomen, down to his groin. Then Hux backed off, and a handsome Ful’nathir appeared out of the darkness, wrapping an arm around Hux’s shoulder. He pictured Hux cradling the face of the Ful’nathir, his hand moving through golden hair, kissing plump, pink lips.

Kylo’s vision then shifted: he was angrily cuffing hands and chaining them to the headboard. Hux’s hands. His lifted Hux’s legs, bending his knees up to nearly his shoulders. Then pressed his erection to Hux's virgin ass and slammed into him as hard as he could. 

He cried out sharply, coming on the bedspread.

_Fuck! What the fuck is wrong with me?_

He buried his face in the pillow, screaming into it, soaking it with tears.

What if Hux did get bored of him? Found a cute, pink Ful’nathir to replace him? And what if he still wanted to keep him as a pet Enforcer? Hux was too possessive to ever let him go, but what he if he got bored with him as a lover?

A hundred thoughts hummed in his head.

 

———————————-

 

His eyes blinked open. Why were the lights so bright? He lifted his head off the drool-covered pillow. He must have fallen asleep at some point. The lights were programmed to turn on when it was morning.

He rolled off the bed, teetering as he stood up. What happened? He felt like he had been in a knock-down, drag-out fight, in a rainstorm. That Ful’nathir alcohol had really packed a wallop. Cross that off the list of things to never try again.

He tossed the soiled bedspread on the floor, took a shower, and mixed up some protein mash for breakfast. The persistent thrumming in his head slackened somewhat, but he could hear the grinding of his jaw as he ate. Good thing mash didn’t require much mastication.

Leaving half of the mash unfinished, he schlepped back to bed and pulled the sheets over his head, intent on sleeping for another few hours.

 

\--------------------

 

 _Woosh._ The door woke him. He leapt out of bed, hastily wrapping the sheet around himself and almost tripping over it as he ran to greet Hux. Hux was setting down an overnight case when Kylo nearly tackled him.

“My Love! I missed you!” Kylo had half-expected a Ful’nathir to be hanging on his arm, but, to his immeasurable relief, it was just Hux.

“Hello, My Love,” Hux said. “I missed you, too.” Hux kissed the side of his neck.

Kylo didn’t want to stop hugging him. But then remembered that the room was a mess. The bedspread was in a pile on the floor, his jacket was draped over Hux’s work console, and there was a bowl of half-eaten cold mash on the table.

“I’m sorry I didn’t clean up, I didn’t know you were going to be back today,” he said.

“That’s no excuse for not cleaning up,” Hux smiled, “You have to live here, too.” Hux kissed him. “But I don’t care.”

He planted a row ticklish kisses along Kylo’s neck while walking him backward toward the bed. The sheet came completely loose in the process.

“What happened? Who did that?” Hux exclaimed.

Kylo had been delighting in Hux’s affection and took a second to realize what had alarmed him. The bruises. Particularly the two large ones on his abdomen and ribs. Of course, Hux had been quick to accuse a who and not a what.  

Hux touched one of the bruises tenderly. “Oh, that training droid,” Kylo said, not wishing to get Phasma in trouble.

“I’ll have it smashed into a thousand pieces!” Hux said, kissing him again. “I’m so sorry. It’s programmed for stormtroopers. I made to sure to specify that you were a novice. I’ll rip its arms off and pitch it into the nearest sun.”

The edges of Kylo’s mouth turned up. He hated that droid. “Can I help with that?”

Hux gently lowered him to the bed, “Certainly. I would never deny you revenge on anything.”

Careful of his bruises, Hux made love to him, softly, gently. Tingling euphoria washed over Kylo like a wave as he let go completely of any anxiety or dread he had felt that past week. All detrimental emotions dissipated into the air, leaving him with a such a profound feeling of contentment he burst into tears.

“What’s wrong?” Hux sat up, worried.

_I hate you._

"I love you," Kylo said, sobbing.

"I love you, too," Hux brushed Kylo’s hair back with his fingers.

_Don't leave me._

“Don’t leave me,” Kylo managed to squeak out between sobs.

Hux embraced him, rocking him like a child. "I will never leave you, My Love.” 

Kylo wiped his eyes. “Not even for a cute Ful’nathir?”

“No Ful'nathir is cuter than you. You’re beautiful. You make me so happy. No matter how terrible of a day I have, I know I have you to come back to. You make my life bearable. I could never, ever leave you.”

Kylo cried into his chest

And Hux cried, too.

 

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 


	11. Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> I will fail. I will fail. I will fail.
> 
> Perhaps he was willing himself to fail, knowing what would be asked of him in order to satisfy Hux, or perhaps he was just being sensible. Pessimistic, but sensible. He didn't want to fail. He didn't want to disappoint Hux, but Hux seemed to have unrealistic expectations of him.
> 
> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> Hux takes Kylo on what is supposed to be a diplomatic mission. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this is a bit brutal...
> 
>  
> 
> Chapter Warnings for: anal dilation, anal torture with electricity, graphic violence
> 
> (Note: I was trying to edit while AO3 was having some problems with their servers (yeah, I edit in AO3, that's dumb on my part), so I kept losing work. I apologize for any overly egregious errors)

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

Sweet breath on the back of his neck. An arm around him. He rolled over, reaching out, his hand caressed bare skin. He nestled his head under Hux’s chin. Warm. Loved.

Hux kissed his hair.

“Mmmm,” Hux muttered. “You smell nice.”

“I missed you,” Kylo said in a breathy whisper.

“I missed you, too.”

_Why can’t it always be like this, My Love?_

Savoring the moment, Hux’s heartbeat and soft breathing, the tranquil rise and fall of Hux’s chest lulled him back to sleep.

When he next opened his eyes, Hux was stroking his hair, standing next to the bed with a breakfast tray.  

“I noticed that you didn't eat anything except protein mash while I was gone, so I made you something special.” Kylo sat up so that Hux could put the tray on his lap. Two roundish things sat on his plate like eyes looking up at him. Kylo poked one of the orange pupils, and a viscous liquid oozed out.

“Fresh eggs. From Gyr III,” Hux said.

“So, you negotiated a deal with Gyr?” Kylo asked, scooping up a bit of the gooey yolk with a forkful of the denser, white part of the egg.

“You could say that,” Hux said. Kylo felt a cold tingling in his stomach. Hux didn’t elaborate, and Kylo didn’t want him to.

He could picture it: First Order ships swarming over smoldering rubble that was once the humble capitol. The Gyrians surrendered or were easily executed by stormtroopers; stun pistols were no match for blasters. The once peaceful system now harbored First Order troops, ships, and armaments.

These eggs were the golden spoils of their ‘victory’; Kylo couldn’t eat them.

Luckily, he wouldn't have to. Hux already had on his jacket and was about to leave for his shift. “I’ll be done a little earlier than usual today. I wish to see how your lessons have been coming along. Phasma tells me you’ve been progressing quickly,” Hux said.

Kylo nodded, worried that he hadn’t progressed as much as Hux would have liked.

“I know it’s only been a week, I don’t expect much,” Hux assured him as he left.

That assurance, however, had sounded like Hux had less confidence in him. Kylo pushed the tray to the side, getting up to practice the moves that Phasma had shown him. She had shown him only defensive positions, and Kylo didn’t think that would impress Hux very much.

But, why did he want to impress Hux? Did he really want to be Hux’s Enforcer?

He relaxed his stance, dropping his arms to his sides.

_Screw it._

He made himself a bowl of protein mash.

 

—————————————————————

 

 

“Bring your saber.”

Hux stood at the door. Kylo, who had been dressed and ready for hours before Hux returned--but hadn’t expected Hux would want him to bring the lightsaber, assuming it was far too dangerous and destructive for novice lessons--hurried to fetch the weapon.

They met Captain Phasma in the training room. The training droid, BT-83, hovered in the middle of the room.

“Good evening, General,” Phasma said.

“Good evening, Captain,” Hux nodded.

“Kylo,” Phasma greeted Kylo a bit more formally in the presence of General Hux.

“Captain,” Kylo returned.

Phasma hefted a vibroblade from the rack. They had been practicing without activating them, but, this time, she turned it on. A purple electric energy coiled around it.

Kylo glanced over at Hux, who nodded, then activated his saber. It blazed to life with a savage crackle.

Phasma stepped to the center of the room, shooing the droid out of the way.

“Ready?” Phasma asked.

Kylo took a deep breath; his weapon vibrated like an untamed animal trying to writhe out of his hands. “I guess.”

“One!” She shouted. He swung the saber into position one, shielding his face from Phasma’s strike. The saber violently repelled the vibroblade's energy field, almost jarring it from his hands.

“Two!”

He flicked the saber down, blocking the hit, but the blade rebounded with a shudder and he stepped to the side to keep from being thrown off balance. That gave Phasma a clear shot to his kidneys, but she didn’t take the opening, instead, she stepped back, and readied her next strike.

“Three!”

Kylo parried the strike, but his angle was off, and Phasma’s blade glanced off his shoulder. The electric sting jolted him backward.

This time Phasma didn’t wait for him to recover. “Four!” She lunging forward, swinging the vibroblade low.

Unconcerned with proper posture, Kylo tipped his blade perpendicular to hers, blocking it.

She let him get back into a proper stance before starting again.

“Two!”

“One!”

“Two!”

“Three!”

Parry.

Block.

Parry.

Parry.

Kylo couldn’t believe it. It almost felt like an unseen force was pulling his blade to where it needed to be.

Eight more successfully deflected strikes. His form was ungainly, he knew that, but he felt so exhilarated he didn't care.

Then Phasma put him on the floor with a solid hit to the back of the knee. Kylo dropped his saber as his arms instinctively reached back to break his fall.

Phasma deactivated her vibroblade to help him up.

“Very good,” she said.

Kylo looked back to Hux. He had been focusing on not being hit by the vibroblade. His form had been off. Really, badly off. Hux was not going to commend such a poor performance.

Hux stood stiffly with a flat expression on his face.

Kylo recovered his saber, which was burning a glowing red gouge into the floor.

“Go again,” Hux said.

They went another round, this time Phasma didn’t announce her strikes. She started somewhat slow and got progressively faster. Kylo blocked about nine or ten — he wasn’t counting—before Phasma’s vibroblade hit him in the side. He staggered back but held tight his weapon this time.

“That’s fine, Captain, that’s all I need to see, thank you,” Hux said.

“Yes, General.” Phasma said, deactivating the vibroblade.  She racked the weapon then began putting on her armor.

Kylo powered his lightsaber off. He had the impression he had not met Hux’s expectations.

Hux called the droid, which had been waiting near the weapons rack, back to the center of the room.

Hux clapped his hand on Kylo’s shoulder. “Okay, ready to show this droid what you can do?”

The droid beeped, alarmed.

“No, BT-83, I have not made a mistake. Kylo is using the correct weapon,” Hux chuckled.

Kylo ignited the saber. The droid shifted and zagged defensively. It wasn’t able to get close enough to spring its hydraulic arm, wary of the red blade.

“Come on! I’ll give you the first hit for free,” Kylo taunted.

“Kylo, never give the enemy the upper hand,” Hux told him. “No need to wait for it to engage you. This isn’t blocking practice, go ahead and attack.”

Kylo lunged forward; the droid backed out of the way. He stepped back and circled the droid, saber held close enough to his face that he could feel the heat. He feigned a strike. As the droid dodged, he altered the swing, and the droid ran itself into the blade. One of its appendages clunked to the floor. Kylo swiftly spun the saber, stabbing the droid in the eye. It reeled backward, hit the wall, and fell to the floor.

Kylo approached it, saber raised, but the droid’s frantic beeps and squeals as it pleaded to for its pathetic existence made him feel something knot in his stomach — pity. He lowered his blade.

Hux walked up behind him. “Mercy is for the weak. End it.”

The droid made a sad chirping noise. Kylo shook his head, and deactivated the lightsaber.

Hux huffed, then pulled his blaster and fired. Kylo stepped back as plastic, metal, and electronics exploded in a cloud of sparks and smoke.

Hux holstered his blaster. “If I tell you to end someone, you do it. Be it an enemy, or an ally, or a miserable droid. Even the best defense training won’t do you any good if you refuse to make a decisive, lethal strike.”

The pit in his stomach felt like a chunk of ice. This didn't feel right. None of this felt right. He wasn’t meant to be killer. He turned his lightsaber over in his hands, unable to look at Hux. “But, I immobilized it. It couldn’t hurt me.”

Hux turned Kylo to face him, “You don’t know that. It could have a hidden blaster, or a detonator, or, hell, it could have a self-destruct mechanism designed to take out anything in ten-meter radius. It’s foolish and arrogant to assume you have the advantage.”

Hux squeezed his shoulders. “I want you to be by my side, Kylo,” he said. “But you are not in a position to second guess my orders. So, if you are going to defy me, I will not allow you to accompany me on any more missions.”

_Good._

_I would rather be locked up and treated like a pet for the rest of my life than be forced to kill a helpless being, even if it was a contemptible droid._

_No. No, I don’t._

_Fuck._

_I don’t know what I want anymore._

 

—————————————————————

 

 

Later that night, as Hux pressed his naked body against Kylo’s, moving rhythmically, breathing into the back of his neck, he muttered between soft kisses to his neck and shoulders, “You know...if you were one of my officers...I would have you flogged and stripped of rank...for what you did today...or possibly even worse.” Hux bit his ear; he moaned sharply. “I should do _something_ to punish you.”

Kylo’s mind went straight to the chains and cuffs hidden in the back of the closet. He stifled a whine as Hux began moving at a more aggressive pace.

Hux yanked his hair. “You like this, don’t you? You like when I make you feel good.” Hux tickled his fingers up and down Kylo’s erection. “Yes, you do. But, I don’t feel like getting my sheets dirty tonight.” His fingers ringed Kylo’s cock and squeezed. Kylo made a thin croaking noise.

Hux slammed him with a few more rough thrusts, then heaved him off the bed.

Kylo sprawled on the durasteel tile.

“You’re sleeping on the floor tonight.” Hux pulled the comforter over himself and turned off the lights. "And I better not catch you trying to sneak back in or you'll be sleeping on the floor for a week."

The lights dimmed to a near blackness.

Kylo sat up and leaned on the side of the bed. His head fell into his hands.

_Stupid. So stupid. It was just a damn droid. Why can’t I learn? Why must I be so stubborn?  I don't want to upset you. I really don't_

 

His leg touched something slick. Well, he hadn’t come on Hux’s sheet, at least.

 

—————————————————————

 

 

Kylo diligently kept to his lessons with Phasma. Phasma had urged him to, saying she thought he had tremendous potential.  And Hux decided to give him one more chance to prove himself as an Enforcer, informing him less than a month later of another diplomatic mission. This time, Hux would be taking a squad of Stormtroopers. The planet was Kree, their ruler was High Lord Cal’rrrek of the Kreel, and the Kreel were notoriously difficult to negotiate with. Flashy displays of puissance were more likely to persuade them than polite negotiations.

“If you are challenged by any of them,” Hux was saying as they took the shuttle planetside, “do not hesitate. If you can hack off one or two arms of the High Lord’s royal guards, it will gain us respect. This species is barbaric. Size and strength are the only things that matter to them. If you can be aggressive, all the better. Do not disappoint me again.”

Kylo nodded, "I won't," although his mind screamed at him otherwise:

_I will fail. I will fail. I will fail._

Perhaps he was willing himself to fail, knowing what would be asked of him in order to satisfy Hux, or perhaps he was just being sensible. Pessimistic, but sensible. He gazed out the window, disheartened. He didn't want to fail. He didn't want to disappoint Hux, but Hux seemed to have unrealistic expectations of him.

The Stormtrooper transport ship that had accompanied them came into view as it descended next to them. A few small, single-person ships came up from below. Kylo assumed they were the High Lord’s escorts. But then, more than a dozen started swarming the troop transport.

“Hux! They’re firing-” The shuttle suddenly shook, jostling him out of his seat.

A Kreel ship roared past as the emergency lights flashed on.

“General! We’re under attack!” The pilot shouted.

Kylo looked out to see the Stormtrooper transport ship as it crash-landed into the red, rocky terrain below. Their shuttle took another blast.

“Evade!” Hux shouted.

“I can’t - they hit our engine!” The pilot replied helplessly. “Brace yourselves, this is going to be a very bumpy landing!”

The rocky red ground came at them terrifyingly fast, there wasn’t time to do much of anything before-

Blackness.

 

—————————————————————

 

 

Kylo opened his eyes to an incredible headache. All he could see was a blurry gray. He shivered. He was cold. As his eyes focused, he realized he was looking at a stone floor. And his own, naked, bruised body.

He couldn’t move his arms. They were stretched above him. He panicked, twisting and pulling, but his wrists were manacled, chained to a wall.

After a moment, he realized someone else hung chained to the wall opposite him, also stripped nude, showing several cuts and bruises, but nothing that appeared fatal.

“Hux!” He shouted. No response. Hux was unconscious.

He wrenched his chains, trying to pull his hands free, but the struggling only served to grind the metal shackles into his skin.

He heard speaking — a grunting, hissing voice. A reptilian creature with orange, scaly skin appeared on the other side of a barred door. It unlocked the door and entered the cell. It had a pungent, oily odor.

“Hello there, Little One,” The creature grimaced in what Kylo assumed was supposed to be an intimidating grin.

“Who are you calling “little”?” Kylo spat. This creature was only slightly taller than an average human.

“Well, you aren’t little to me, but you are to him,” he jerked a claw over his shoulder, and Kylo saw another figure coming into the cell. It was the same species, but much, much bigger. Kylo barely came up to its chest. More brilliantly colored than the smaller one, it had shimmering blue and magenta stripes that seemed to glow. Its choking reek filled the small cell. The creature looked at Hux then at him. He swallowed, trying to keep a stone determination on his face.

It grabbed his chin, forcing him to look up into its huge, golden, unblinking eyes. Its musky scent made Kylo’s eyes water. “Hmmm,” it grunted, turning Kylo’s head, inspecting him. Its talons trailed down his throat, catching on his chain. The taloned hand twisted the chain until it snapped. Then the creature dragged its scaly hand back and forth on his chest...his abdomen...he squirmed as the cold claws scraped his cock. The creature laughed. “You’re lucky, Dark Eyes, our High Lord Cal’rrrek will undoubtedly prefer your red-haired companion. He likes the more exotic.”

The larger, blue-striped creature turned to the smaller, orange one, who was apparently the dungeon warden, instructing him, “Let me know when Red wakes, then prepare him for the High Lord.”

“Yes, Lord Dak’ken.” The warden leered at Kylo. “But what if the red-haired one doesn't wake up? This one would be a suitable substitute.”

Lord Dak’ken eyed Kylo. “True.” He said, sounding disappointed, “Just in case Red doesn’t wake up, prepare this one as well. The High Lord is expecting a lively one for the ceremony, we can’t disappoint him.” Then he turned to Kylo. “Sorry, Dark Eyes, but you may not be so lucky after all.”  

He and the warden left.

Kylo knew what they were going to do with Hux, and probably with him, too. Their motives didn't make sense, though. It seemed dangerously obvious to abduct a First Order commander during a diplomacy mission. (There were easier ways of getting sex slaves.) Clearly, the Kreel didn’t think very highly of the First Order. This was a demonstration of power, to be sure. But did High Lord Cal’rrrek expect the entire First Order to bow before him because he dominated one of their generals? It didn’t make much sense.

A few minutes later, two guards came in, one pale blue and one green with thin, black stripes, both the same size as the warden. Then a third, slightly larger one  — gray with yellow stripes, that the others addressed as “Overseer” — followed, carrying a bronze trunk.  The gray and yellow Kreel, the Overseer, set about giving the other two orders, taking a perverse satisfaction in letting Kylo know what was going to be done to him.

“He’ll need to be oiled and cleaned first.”

The two guards rotated Kylo around so that he faced the wall. He kicked backward at them, but they grabbed his ankles and he heard the sound of chains being taken from the trunk. They chained his ankles to a metal bar, spreading his legs.

One of them kept a foot on the bar to keep him from kicking. They rubbed him all over with an oil that smelled like fermented grain then scraped it off with flat pieces of polished bone.

“Now harness him.”

A leather harness was fitted around his neck, chest and lower torso, then upper thighs and upper arms. The harness had metal rings attached to it that Kylo guessed were meant to suspend and manipulate him using chains or cords.

He hoped that this was all Dak’ken had meant by ‘prepare’ and they weren’t planning on stabbing their clawed fingers into his ass. If the High Lord was the size of Lord Dak’ken, this was not going to be a pleasant experience no matter what, but having his insides torn up wouldn't help matters.

Something cold poked his anus, but it wasn’t a claw.

“We’ve had problems with humans before, they need to be stretched gradually,” the Overseer said as he pushed the cold, hard object into him.

“As if you give a shit!” Kylo barked back.

Then, the Overseer turned the knob at the end of it. It felt like it was expanding. Another turn. Kylo winced. Another.

If it enlarged any more, he was going to tear. “Stop!”  He yelled. They chuckled. He shouted, “You call that gradual?”  

There was a hand on his back. He looked over his shoulder into a grinning gray and yellow face leaning close to him. “Yes, Dark Eyes. We have all day today and most of tomorrow, and by tomorrow night, you will be ready for the High Lord,” the Overseer said as he wrapped his fingers around the meaty part of his forearm, indicating the size of the High Lord. They all laughed.

They removed the bar from between Kylo’s legs and chained his ankles together. After checking on Hux, who was still out cold, they left.

Kylo wiggled around so that he was no longer kissing the wall. The awful device inside him was warming to his body temperature, but it didn’t feel any less uncomfortable. His insides involuntarily clenched around it, which only added to the discomfort -- he could feel the entirety of its bulbous, intruding shape. He tried to expel it; it wasn’t going to budge.

_Fuck._

He looked at Hux, who hung across from him, oblivious to his terrible fate. Still and lifeless. Naked and vulnerable. Serene, almost. Kylo held his breath for a minute so be sure that he was actually seeing the shallow rise and fall of Hux’s chest.

“Hux!” He shouted “HUUUXX!!”

The warden came to the cell door. “Hey, quiet in there!”

“Yeah? Or what?” Kylo yelled.

_Ha! I’m about to be a sex slave for a monster that’s probably going to split me in half. What could you possibly do that’s worse than that?_

He probably shouldn’t have been so brazen.

The warden left the door the for a moment, then came back with a short, pronged baton and entered the cell. He grabbed the front of the Kylo’s harness and easily swung him around, slamming him face first into the wall.

“Hey! Don’t damage the goods!” Kylo growled.

“I won’t damage you...not any place visible, at least,” the warden hissed. Kylo heard a familiar crackling sound — like a vibroblade. He had barely registered the sound when an intense, jagged pain rippled through him. His vision went white. His heart felt like it was going to explode.

After the pain stopped, it took a moment to for him to understand what had happened. That bastard had jammed the end of the electric prod into that hunk of metal in his ass!

He hung limp, panting, squeezing his eyes shut as tears escaped them. The immediate torture had stopped, but there was a lingering pain. He was sure something inside was damaged, burned, probably. Then he realized something even more horrifying: He was hard!

_Oh. Shit._

“Yeah, that shut you up, didn’t it?” The warden said, tapping the butt-plug with his baton. Every muscle in Kylo’s body tensed, expecting another shock. But, mercifully, another one didn’t come. The warden left, closing the cell door with a loud clang. “Now, stay quiet, okay?”

Kylo sagged, relieved that the warden hadn’t noticed his erection. Leaning his forehead on the cool wall, he laughed at the ridiculousness of that--of the entire situation: There he hung, stripped naked, oiled up, and wearing nothing but a leather harness, an ass-stretcher crammed in his rectum, waiting to be violated by a beast with a dick the size of his arm. But, he was humiliated by his boner.

He laughed himself to tears.

He had force himself to stop crying because the shaking caused the internal spasms to worsen. He had to be still and concentrate on relaxing.

 

—————————————————————

 

 

After some long amount of time, any twitch or small movement enhanced the pressure the torture device was putting on his insides. He wasn’t getting desensitized to it. The opposite, in fact. It hurt more and more. His erection had gone down, but every small spasm would send twinges to different parts of his body, making his cock quiver.

Footsteps approached. The three guards from before entered. The Overseer turned Kylo slightly to face him and stroked Kylo’s chin. “How’re you doing, Dark Eyes?” Kylo lurched his head forward in an attempt to bite him. “Still pretty feisty, I see.”

He turned Kylo to face the wall and the other two attached the bar to his feet, again. The Overseer shook the handle of the butt-plug. Kylo winced. He was so tender down there now, any movement at all was excruciating. The Overseer started pulling it out without contracting it to the smaller size.

“Ah!” Kylo croaked, jerking away. The Overseer pushed on Kylo’s back, crushing him against the wall while he jiggled the device, slowly extracting it. The widest part popped out, and Kylo enjoyed the relief of its absence for the briefest moment. Then a new, cold tip joggled against his swollen anus.

The Overseer leaned on Kylo’s shoulder, his breath hot and repugnant, and said in a tone devoid of any sympathy, “Believe me, this is much more pleasant than the alternative.”  Kylo whimpered and gasped as he pushed it all the way in. It was the size the first had been in its expanded state. Then, the monster rotated the handle knob.

Kylo tried to breathe in short, controlled breaths as the device enlarged. But, it wasn’t helping. He was stretched to the breaking point.

“No! No more!” He squeaked.

The Overseer stroked his hair, “Shh, shh, shh, it’ll be okay, just relax. I know you _think_ you can’t take any more, but you will. After all, we still have four more gauges to go.” His companions laughed.

No, no way. Kylo sucked his lower lip and pressed his eyelids closed. His head fell against the cool wall. No. There was no possible way he could endure anything bigger, he felt like he was going to split apart as it was.

The guards unfastened the bar spreading his legs, and once again chained his ankles together. They then turned their attention to Hux.

“Do you think he’ll wake up?” One asked.

“Don’t know, he probably has a concussion.”

“If we’re going to have him prepared in time, we can’t wait any longer.”

“Yeah.”

They began oiling Hux just as they had done with Kylo.

Kylo shouted, “Hey!” He wiggled around. “Hey! Leave him alone!”

They ignored him.

“You already have me! Leave him alone!” Kylo yelled again.

The Overseer's face widened in a vile grin. “You know, since we have to prepare him anyway…” he said as he unbuttoned his pants, and a bright red, ridged cock popped out. “Mmmmm, I do love humans, so warm and soft on the inside.” He grasped Hux around the waist, slapping Hux’s ass with his repulsive dick.

Kylo fought against his chains. “You fucking animals! LEAVE HIM ALONE!” he screamed at the top of his lungs.

The pale blue Kreel tilted his head and said distantly, “Yeah, we should leave him alone.”

“What?” the Overseer said, turning to him. “What are talking you about?” Thankfully, he had not violated Hux, yet.

Blue shook his head, “Huh? What? That one said something, not me.”

The Overseer pointed a finger at Kylo, “You, shut up!”

“Leave him alone or I’ll kill you!” Kylo shouted.

The large gray and yellow Kreel swaggered over to him, his prick bouncing obscenely. “Oh? And how do you plan to do that?”

Kylo's brow furrowed. He felt an anger growing from the cold, heavy pain inside him. It felt like it had a solid form, like a chunk of ground breaking loose as it formed into a landslide. Staring straight into the Overseer's golden eyes he said in a large, looming voice, “ **Unchain me and I’ll show you.** ”

The Overseer blinked. Then, in an unnaturally methodical pace, pulled the key ring from his belt, reached up, and unchained Kylo’s manacles from the wall. Kylo’s arms dropped. As blood rushed back into his arms, it felt like trickles of lava, hot and fierce.

The green and black one hollered to his master, “What are you doing?”

Kylo shook all over. A rush of...something powerful pulsated through him like a roiling torrent. ”My feet, too! Undo my ankles!” He commanded. The Overseer knelt to unfasten the chain around his ankles. Kylo’s arm thrust out toward Green, who had started approaching. “ **Stay there!** ” Green froze.

The instant he had unlinked the chain, Kylo slammed his still-manacled hands down on the back of the Overseer’s head as hard as he could. The large Kreel collapsed.

Green broke from his awestruck state, drew his stun baton, and charged Kylo. Kylo threw his arm up in defense. The baton struck his forearm, and the crackle of electricity zig-zagged around his arm. It felt like sticking his arm in a fire, but Green staggered back, looking bewildered--as if he had expected that hit to incapacitate him.

Kylo wrenched the baton from him, which he seemed to relinquish too easily, and rammed him in the stomach with it.

As Green fell, Kylo saw out the corner of his eye the pale blue guard aiming something at him. In a maneuver that Phamsa would have been proud of, he ducked, dodging the blaster fire, pivoting toward the guard, smacked the blaster out of his hand with the baton and seized the guard’s throat, slamming him backward into the wall. Kylo pummeled his head against the wall a few more times to be sure he was knocked out.

He heard movement behind him -- the Overseer staggering to his feet. Kylo pounced on him, dropping the baton, clamping both his hands around his neck. He clawed at Kylo’s face, but Kylo kept squeezing until the creature went limp.

Then everything went still--Like the eye of a storm. Kylo dropped to the floor, curling in pain, the thing inside him stabbing him in the guts. Reaching between his legs, he gingerly felt for the knob and turned it. The pressure decreased. A few more turns. When it wouldn’t contract any further, he held his breath and yanked it out. Not registering how horrifying the thing looked, he tossed it aside and scrambled over to Hux.

“Hux?” He panted, feeling for a pulse, trying to ignore his own pounding heart. He thought he detected it. Hux was warm and floppy, unlike a corpse. That, at least, was a good sign.

He had to get out of there as quickly as possible, the warden was sure to call for more guards. He snagged the key from the Overseer and unchained Hux from the wall. He started to drag Hux. Wait. He couldn't haul him around naked. He had to cover him with something. He snatched up the closest thing he could find, the Overseer’s pants from the floor, hastily poked Hux’s bare feet through the pant legs and tugged them up. They were loose, but better than nothing. Kylo hefted him over his shoulder and hastened out of the cell.

He didn’t see the warden. Maybe he had already gone for help.

Making his way down the corridors, a sudden thought hit him: he forgot to grab the weapons!

_FuckFuckfuck!_

He lowered Hux, laying him against the wall, and ran back the way he had come. But, instead of going back to the cell, he turned down a different corridor, then another, without a second guess, as if he knew exactly where he was going.

He slid to a stop at a well-armored door. This had to be the armory. Fumbling with the keys, he found one that opened it. Inside, weapons lined the walls. He swiped a couple of blasters — then saw it: his lightsaber! He grabbed it and ran back to Hux as fast as he could run. Just as he stooped to gather Hux over his shoulder, two Kreel appeared from around a corner, firing into the corridor. Luckily, he had been crouching so they missed by mere inches. He fired back, hitting both with only two shots.

He slung Hux’s arm over his shoulder. Holding both blasters in one hand and the lightsaber in the other, he dragged Hux at the fastest pace he could.

A sound. He stopped to listen. Footfalls! Coming from a stairway. He quickly, but carefully, dropped Hux and the two blasters, and clenched the saber hilt in both hands. He pressed against the wall, keeping hidden for as long as possible. As the guards reached the bottom, Kylo lit the saber, swinging it around the corner, slicing the first one through the stomach, then followed through, stabbing the second one.

Several more guards rushed down the stairs, kicking the bodies out of way. Kylo backed into the corridor. There were too many of them. There wasn’t anywhere for him to run.

_ShitShitshitshitshit!_

He looked down at Hux’s slumped, unconscious form. He couldn’t let them get to him. If there was any chance at all, he had to take it.

A blaster bolt grazed his shoulder.

_If I fail, My Love, I’m sorry._

He did the thing he hoped they would least expect.

He roared and charged at them.

An outburst of adrenaline, arousal, stupidity, and bravery. His blade a flurry of angry red sparks.

Many of them were indeed stunned. His lightsaber spun back and forth, as if it was guiding his hand, and not the other way around, deflecting the few bolts that were fired.

His heart pounded in his ears. His erection burned his loins. He had only one thought, one compulsion, one desire: Kill.

The saber blade sizzled sickeningly through an arm. A chest. A neck. A stomach. Somehow, he ended up in the middle of the cluster. The remaining guards recoiled from him, scattering in all directions to get away. The power he felt was like nothing he’d felt before, watching them scurry in fear.

As the guards gained distance, they fired at him. He stepped to the side, dodging a bolt, his saber deflecting another into one of their comrades. That left only three. He lunged at the closest one, impaling him, then threw the saber at another, who was attempting to run away, spearing him in the back. The last one fled down the hall.

After pulling the blade from the Kreel’s back, he returned to Hux, gathered him in his arms, leaving the blasters, and ascended the staircase. He panted and shook so hard he thought he was going to pass out. But there was no time to stop for even a single breath.

_Havetogetouthavetogetouthavetogetout._

At the top of the stairs, there was a colonnade leading to a large, ornate doorway. It had to be the entrance to this castle — or whatever this place was. He couldn’t carry Hux any more, so was dragging him toward the entryway when he heard heavy footsteps behind him. Dropping Hux, Kylo spun around. The large blue and pink striped Kreel, Lord Dak’ken, walked toward him.

“Going somewhere, Little One.”

A curved weapon swayed in his clenched claw.

Kylo didn’t think, he only reacted. His saber was alight and he was charging at the Kreel before his brain caught up to what his body was doing.

Dak’ken’s weapon whined, throwing off sparks as Kylo’s blade sheared through it. Dak’ken jumped backward, barely dodging the saber as it came a hair’s width from his face.

Shocked and glowing with anger, Dak’ken swiped at Kylo with his talons. Kylo couldn’t help but laugh, incredulity looked ridiculous on the reptilian face. He automatically brought his saber up to 'blocking position one' and Dak’ken’s own momentum drove his arm through the flaming blade.  Dak’ken roared. As Dak’ken reeled from the loss of his hand, Kylo flicked the blade down, slicing his calf through the bone. The reptiloid fell.

He crawled toward Kylo with his head down. “I relent! I relent! You've proven your strength over me, Powerful One.” He tilted his head, exposing his neck in a submissive gesture.

Kylo pointed the lightsaber at his throat.

“I surrender! Please spare me!” Dak’ken shrieked.

_Mercy is for the weak._

He raised the saber, preparing a killing blow.

Just then, the entry door flew open. Kylo squinted into the glare of the Kree sunlight.

“KYLO! Stand Down!” The voice came from a shining figure.

“Phasma?” Kylo panted.

Stormtroopers flooded in. Kylo stood there awkwardly: Naked, panting, sweating, bleeding, smelling like rancid grain, prick aimed straight as a cannon.

Phasma came up to him. He deactivated his saber. Two stormtroopers carried Hux past.

“Get him back to _The Finalizer_ immediately,” Phasma ordered, then removed her cape and offered it to Kylo. “Sorry, I didn’t bring any spare clothes.”

“Thanks,” he said, blushing, and wrapped it around his waist.

“You should go with Hux,” Phasma said to Kylo, “We’ll take care of everything down here.”

“Yeah,” Kylo said. He felt dizzy. Like he was about to pass out. His senses were tamped, everything was loud but disorienting and out of focus, like falling into water or coming out of a dream.

The stormtroopers were taking Lord Dak’ken into custody.  

“Wait,” he said, then turned to Dak’ken—the Kreel kept his head down. “My chain.”

Dak’ken gestured at a leather pouch on his belt. Kylo groped through the items in the pouch, which were other small tokens, most likely taken from previous captives. He pulled out his broken chain. It had tangled in another piece of jewelry.

He smiled faintly at Phasma, she nodded in a way that evinced, 'job well done', then he rushed to the waiting shuttle and boarded.

Hux lay on the floor. A medic trooper was stabbing a syringe needle into his arm. Just an anti-inflammatory and mild stimulant, the medic explained. Kylo nodded, not really listening. He slumped next to his unconscious lover.

He felt crushingly exhausted. But his mind raced. Too fast. He couldn’t put one thought in front of another, they came all at once, smashing and wrestling together. He couldn’t quite put together what happened in a way that made any sense. Although he was certain of one thing: he had just killed a lot of people.

 

A few minutes before reaching _The Finalizer_ , Hux’s eyes fluttered open.

Kylo’s heart jumped. “Hux!” He managed to squeak out between fresh tears.

“Kylo?” Hux muttered in a dry voice. “What happened?...The ship crashed...and-” he looked at Kylo for a long minute. “What are you wearing?”

 

 

 

 

Hux later wrote in his report: The negotiations with the Kreel did not go as planned.

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...but I found the idea of Kylo running around slaying bad guys in a nothing but a leather harness and a raging hard-on thoroughly entertaining.


	12. Adversary

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> No. No. This isn’t right. This is a mistake. I don't want power. I don’t know what to do with power. I’m not strong enough for this responsibility.
> 
> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> Kylo's destiny is about to change, but is it for the better?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooh, this one was so fun! I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.
> 
> Sex, violence, life-changing revelations, what more could you want?

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

The only light came from the giant hologram (Kylo hoped he wasn't that big in real life).

“Tell me what happened on Kree.” The hologram's harsh, deep voice echoed in the dim chamber.

Hux had taken him to this dark, cavernous chamber, told him that Supreme Leader Snoke wanted to see him, but hadn’t explained why.  Hux had told Kylo this was an unprecedented honor and cautioned him to be on his utmost behavior, as the Supreme Leader was not as lenient as he was.  

Snoke had said a few words to Hux, congratulating him on the victory over the Kreel, then dismissed him, leaving Kylo alone with the monstrous being.

Kylo shifted, terrified of speaking, but knowing that saying something was probably less egregious than no answer at all.

“The shuttle was shot down, and we— General Hux and I— were captured. And I, uh...we, escaped.”

Snoke tapped the arm of his throne-like chair. “Is that all.”

Kylo chewed his bottom lip, unsure how much information to divulge. And he couldn’t remember most of it in very clear detail.

“Captain Phasma and a team of stormtroopers rescued us.”

The Supreme Leader leaned forward, looming over him. Even though Snoke was only a hologram, Kylo could feel a cold breath on him. The moment hung in the air, frozen; Kylo felt petrified, he dared not move or even breathe. It felt like the Supreme Leader was looking into him like looking into a murky pond knowing something swam just under the surface and was intent on snaring it.

The room was so still Kylo could have screamed.

“What do you know about me,” Snoke asked after the unsettling silence— more of a demand than a question.

“I...you are the Supreme Leader of the First Order,” Kylo said, looking down to the floor, Snoke’s icy blue eyes weighing on him.

“What do you know about the Force."

Kylo recited what he could remember of how his uncle explained it, “It’s an energy that exists in all living things.”

“That’s a superficial way to describe it. Also, not entirely correct. It can exist in non-living things, as well.” Snoke leaned back, giving Kylo some breathing room. “I hear that you have gotten a hold of a lightsaber.”

Kylo nodded. “Yes.”

“That is the favored weapon of Force wielders. The crystal inside focuses the Force. Did you know that.”

Kylo nodded again. He remembered his uncle telling him about how the kyber crystal in a saber was uniquely attuned to its owner.  

“Do you know who its previous owner was.”

“No, I don’t,” Kylo said.

“A weapon charged with the Force — as yours is — can seem to have something of a consciousness, a mind of its own, if you will. Some people will have more aptitude with it than others. As if it allowed them to,” Snoke said.

Another long, uneasy pause. “Now, would you like to tell me again what happened on Kree.”

“I did use the lightsaber...when I escaped,” Kylo said.

“You used it well.”

“I...did my best.”

“Your master told me that you have been taking lessons this past month -- melee lessons.”

“Yes.”

“You escaped a locked cell and fought off several guards before the stormtroopers arrived.”

How did the Supreme Leader know that? Kylo hadn’t told anyone what happened because, in all honesty, he wasn’t sure what had really happened. 

“Yes.”

“You were able to do that after _one month_ of melee training.”

It had seemed unbelievable, and as Snoke prompted his memory of the events, it seemed even more impossible.

Kylo thought back to the events on Kree. They came back to him in bits and chunks. What had been blurred and without beginning or end started to coalesce and fit together like puzzle pieces.

He must be remembering it wrong; he couldn’t have done that. The memories slid into his brain like paper-thin knife blades — as if slipped in by an extrinsic source.

“The saber...” he muttered barely above a whisper.

“It seemed to have a will of its own. It guided you, helped you, told you what to do,” Snoke completed Kylo’s thought.

Kylo shook his head, still not willing to accept it.

In a kind tone which made Kylo queasy, Snoke said,  “Search your feelings, My Child, you know the truth.”

_It can’t be. When I was young, Uncle Luke told me about the Force. I tried and tried and tried to feel it. I couldn’t. Why would it come to me now?_

“The Force,” Kylo said in disbelief.

Snoke’s head nodded slowly. “You cannot tell General Hux. Not yet,” Snoke said. “Nor anyone else. I will help you discover more about your power. And only when, and if, I deem you are ready, will you disclose your abilities to anyone.”

_If I didn’t know I was using the Force, how do I keep myself from using it again?_

“How do I-”

Snoke answered his question before he asked it, “Now that you know you were channeling the Force, you can recognize it when it happens again. You may still use it, and I encourage you to use it, just don’t be blatant about it."

“Do this and I will grant you respect and status you would never achieve on your own. You won’t be a slave anymore, I’ll see to that. I’ll bestow on you a prestige in the First Order that is beyond any chain of command. You will not have to answer to anyone else except me. That is, if all goes well with your training. Until then, no one must know.” Snoke rubbed his knuckles with his thumb, appearing to be very pleased with this arrangement--an arrangement that Kylo had no say in.

It was all too much at once to properly process anyway: Finding out he had Force abilities, that those abilities were impressive enough to get the attention of the Supreme Leader, and that the Supreme Leader wanted to recruit him as an apprentice. He could only stand there, open-mouthed, thinking any second now he was going to wake up from this dream.

“I...I...thank you, Supreme Leader,” Kylo finally said, his voice cracking.

Kylo then realized that Snoke’s warped and distorted features prevented him from smiling as an unsettling grimace stretched across his face. Kylo shuddered. The room seemed much colder.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

“We’ll start tomorrow. I’ll let General Hux know that I have scheduled some additional combat sessions for you. But you will come here, to me,” Snoke instructed, but Kylo was distracted by his heart pounding in his ears and his body shivering uncontrollably. The only thing he could do was nod.

“You may go, then,” Snoke said. His hologram blinked to blackness.

Kylo let out a breath, stood in the darkness for a moment, then turned and followed the illuminators on the floor to the door.

Hux stood on the other side, scowling.

“Well?” Hux demanded.

“It was...noth-” Hux grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and shoved him against the wall.

“It wasn't nothing. Don’t you dare lie to me. Why did the Supreme Leader want to see you?” Hux gritted his teeth, his face turning that red color that Kylo dreaded seeing.

“He wants me to-” Kylo stammered, he couldn’t think of an excuse.  Then, Hux released him — a patrol of stormtroopers had just turned the corner, heading toward them. They stopped next to the general, standing straight at attention.

“As you were,” Hux told them. They continued on.

When the stormtroopers were out of earshot, Hux faced him again. “We’ll talk about this in private.”

The walk back to Hux’s room had given Kylo enough time to think of a plausible lie: the one that Snoke already told him to use.

The door of Hux's quarters hissed shut and Hux folded his hands together. “Why did you lie to me? What did the Supreme Leader tell you?”

Kylo said the words he had rehearsed in his head: “He wanted me to have an extra training session each day. One in the morning as well as the one with Captain Phasma in the evening. I thought it wasn’t that big of a deal.”

Hux stared at him a moment.

“It isn’t. In fact, I had already informed the Supreme Leader about your lessons. I wanted to be sure that I was not using my resources frivolously. But why didn’t you just tell me this before?” Hux said.

Kylo said, “I don’t...I don’t know. Snoke was...I felt very strange in his presence. I wasn’t thinking straight. I’m sorry.”

Hux relaxed his posture and gave Kylo a sympathetic nod. “Oh, yes, I should have warned you about that. He’s a powerful being, perhaps the most powerful in the galaxy. So powerful, most men cannot stand to even be in proximity to him, which is why most of his dealings are done via hologram.

“It’s something to do with the Force. Some people think it’s all mystical nonsense. I don’t know much about it, but I do know that it exists. Snoke radiates such a potent energy, you can feel it even through his hologram.

“I’ve never met him face-to-face, and between us, I don’t ever care to, but I have heard that his dark energy is so strong that people feel like their hearts are being crushed or their brains are being gouged out, some are stripped of their sanity or even their will to live.”

_Oh yes? You think maybe you should have told me that?! Somehow, I suspect you didn’t tell me on purpose. You wanted to see if I would crack._

Hux tapped his finger on his lips, still suspicious of Snoke’s interest in Kylo. “Although, I have no idea why Snoke felt the need waste his time speaking to you--alone. The First Order has a sizable army; you are just one man. He must see you as a great asset to the First Order.”

Hux put his arms around Kylo and said more softly, “I hope he doesn’t see you as too great an asset. I wouldn’t want him to think that he can take you away from me.”

Kylo smiled.

_What can you do if he does? My Love? Nothing._

 

—————————————————————

 

Hux shimmied Kylo’s shirt off.

Kylo’s injuries from the crash had been treated, as had Hux’s. He had been completely immersed in a bacta tank for the first time. It had been a strange experience.

Floating in the viscous panacea he had been able to find serenity for the first time in a long time. He felt distanced from his material bonds, his physical bonds, and had thoughts about a possible transcendent nature that he had never explored.

He thought about the Kreel that he had killed, and about if there was an after-life or if this was it, this was all he and everyone else had. Yes, those Kreel had treated him badly, but maybe they thought he was just as much an enemy as he thought of them. Maybe they thought that capitulating to the First Order would destroy their culture and their ideals. Maybe he was the monster.

 

When he had come out of the tank, it was like being drawn into a new, unfamiliar body: his skin felt softer, more supple, his joints felt more springy, like well-oiled machinery, his muscles were renewed as if he had spent a week getting a recuperative daily massage. But, the most surprising effect of his rejuvenation was an increased sensitivity to touch.

 

When Hux caressed his back, he flinched.

“What’s wrong?” Hux asked.

“Nothing, it just tickled a bit,” Kylo said.

“Oh,” Hux said as he kissed Kylo’s neck.

Kylo quivered. The breath and delicate pressing of lips on his skin tingled. His fingers threaded through Hux’s hair; it felt softer than he remembered.

Hux’s mouth went lower, to his clavicle and down to his chest. Kylo gasped and twitched at the occasional nip, unexpected each time and each one sent a ticklish jolt through his body.

It was like he had never been touched before. The sensations went from warm to hot to tingling to prickling. It wasn’t unpleasant, but it wasn’t exactly pleasant, either.

Hux nipped Kylo’s neck, sucked his earlobe, licked his ear, reveling in Kylo’s responses. His squirming and trembling and mewling, Hux loved every second of it.

Hux breathed into his ear, cramming his tongue in. Kylo’s legs wobbled— he grabbed onto Hux for support.

“If you react this way from an ear nibble, imagine what I can get from down here,” Hux whispered.

“Ahhh.” Kylo clutched Hux tighter. A hand was going into his pants. His legs wobbled, then refused to hold his weight altogether. Hux caught him as he dipped.

Kylo’s mind flashed blank for a moment.

The next thing he knew, he was being tossed on the bed and Hux was stroking his chest and cupping and squeezing his privates. Kylo pressed his head back, grinding into Hux’s motions.

Hux dragged a fingernail across a pectoral, inscribing a faint white line that would quickly become pink and slightly raised. He loved the pristine skin and didn’t want to mark it too much.

Kylo felt his pants being undone and tugged down. Then a warm wetness swathed his cock. He groaned heavily, grasping Hux’s head in an attempt to slow the bobbing motion, to ease the hot sensation seething in his lower abdomen.

Hux licked up and down the shaft, massaging his balls. Kylo squeezed his eyes shut, breathing in short pants.

“No, no, no, yes, no, no, stop, stop,” he spluttered.

Hux moved back up Kylo's body. He mashed his mouth to Kylo’s lips, sucking and biting his tongue, hot and wet and delicious.

“This is going to be nice,” Hux muttered. He slid his fingers into Kylo's mouth; Kylo sucked on them. Hux bent Kylo’s knees up--the fingers went between Kylo’s legs.

_OH NO! NONONONONO!_

Kylo writhed, realizing that this was going to feel like that first time all over again. And that had been awful.

He held his breath as a finger slipped in.  It moved in and out gently. Kylo breathed, imagining himself floating in that bacta tank, releasing his mind to the universe.  

The second one wiggled in. Another deep breath. After what had happened on Kree, he expected the sensation to be much worse. But it was...not terrible.

Kylo felt Hux leaning on him as he reached into the bedside drawer. He heard a lid snapping open.

_Relax, relax, I have to relax_

His body tensed as Hux nudged himself in.

“Go slow!” Kylo begged.

Hux pushed until he was fully sheathed.

“No! It hurts.” Tears stung his eyes.

“It will feel good in a minute. I’ll go slow,” Hux said; he began moving; he went slowly; it didn’t matter — it still hurt. Kylo winced from the stabbing, poking pressure.

Hux sweetly kissed the almost faded scratch mark on Kylo’s chest. He caressed Kylo’s chest and arms, trying to relax him. But the touches only made Kylo tense even more. It was too much, too many sensations, too much that felt foreign and bristly.

He wailed as Hux stabbed a particularly sensitive spot.

“There it is,” Hux panted and thrust again at the same angle. Hux put almost all of his weight on him, bouncing his hips. Kylo gripped Hux's arms so tightly they were likely to bruise.

“I can’t take any more!”

Seizing Kylo’s cock, Hux rubbed him feverishly.

“Oh-Oh-Oh!”

“Not yet! We’ll come together!”

“Unhh!”

“There! There! ...nnnghhh….”

Hux flopped on him, breathing heavily, smothering his neck, chin, and mouth with slobbery kisses.

“Gods! That was amazing, wasn't it? Beyond amazing. It was so good!” Hux said, petting Kylo’s hair. He kissed Kylo several more times. “I ought to dunk you in bacta more often!”

_Oh, please don’t._

 

—————————————————————

 

Hux had left for his shift. Kylo fidgeted, his mind racing and his heart beating anxiously, awaiting whoever it was that was going to take him to Snoke for his first Force lesson.

_Why don’t they just get here already? The waiting is nerve wracking._

When the alert finally came, however, his anxiety spiked. He answered the door quickly, having been waiting right next to it for the past hour.

A black-clad stormtrooper stood before him. He had never seen black stormtrooper armor before. Some specific stations on board required the officers to wear shiny black helmets, but not full armor.

“You will follow me,” the stormtrooper said, his voice slightly altered by his mask to sound more robotic (and sinister).

Kylo started to step out when the trooper said, “You will bring your lightsaber.”

“Oh, of course,” Kylo said, and hurried to get it. Clipping it on his belt, he followed the black stormtrooper, who was also taller than most of the other troopers, around Phasma’s height.  

The trooper strode to the hologram chamber, Kylo had to walk quickly to keep up. The door opened and the trooper nodded, indicating that Kylo should go in alone. He did. The door _whooshed_ closed behind him. The small, dimly glowing lights on the walkway were barely enough to see by.

As he cautiously approached the dais where the hologram would be projected, a figure appeared to materialize from the darkness, already standing next to the dais. It wore a black cloak and hood and stood perfectly still. It didn’t acknowledge him and he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to greet it or ignore it.

“I’m here for-” Kylo started to speak to it and was more than a little startled when it threw off its cloak and a lightsaber flared to life in its hand. The blade was red, like Kylo’s, but unlike Kylo’s, it was unfaltering with a steady, piercing hum.

Kylo tried not to panic. “Are you-” The dark figure lunged at him. Kylo fell backward and rolled out the way as the saber blade swung down, striking the floor next to him.

His own saber was in his hand and alight before he realized he’d taken it off his belt. He rolled into a crouch, then leapt out of the way of another swing. He jumped over a piece of furniture (there were rows of long tables and benches surrounding the dais) hoping to gain some cover.

The figure sliced through the table and its accompanying bench in one sweep of its blade. The figure wore a ghoulish, skull-like mask, and was dressed in heavy cloth and leather armor.

“Don't I get armor?” Kylo shouted into the chamber, hoping that Snoke was overseeing this unfair match.

His combatant didn’t stop to consider that this fight might be a tad unbalanced, swinging again. Kylo tumbled over the table behind him. The figure cut through that one, too.

A thought, a strategy came to him: his opponent might be hindered by the bulky armor and he should use his agility to his advantage. In his sparring matches with Phasma, he had been pretty good at blocking around four to six consecutive strikes. His plan was to block two or three, then duck out of the way, preferably behind something, giving him an opportunity to strike while his opponent was busy destroying furniture.  

_Okay, okay, focus, focus._

He backed up as his adversary advanced. He held his saber in front of him, quelling the urge to double over as his stomach clenched so tight he felt like he was going to vomit.

The figure swung; Kylo blocked. Their sabers ricocheted off one another. Kylo was nearly thrown off balance.

_This is why good form is important!_

For the next strike, he was out of proper stance, it would be foolish to attempt a block, so he did something even more stupid, he ducked to the side, putting him closer to his adversary, and attempted a counter move. His crackling saber sizzled through the outermost layer of his opponent’s midsection armor.

The figure growled, pivoted and stabbed down at Kylo. Kylo rolled under another table. The saber came through the table, and Kylo’s blade stopped it inches from his face. He kicked out, aiming for a kneecap and hitting it squarely. The figure roared in pain. It stumbled but didn’t fall.

Kylo scuttled to his feet and attacked while his adversary was open. The figure deflected the strike, but just barely; Kylo’s tempestuous blade skittered across the other saber and sliced through the thigh of the combatant.

The enemy backed off to compose itself; Kylo couldn’t let it, he had to keep attacking while it was distracted with pain. Kylo lunged forward. But something that felt like a very strong gust of wind punched him in the gut. He flew backward and crashed into a pile of wrecked furniture, his saber knocked from his hand.

His opponent limped toward him rapidly—remarkably rapidly for someone with a foot-long gash in their leg and a possible cracked kneecap—and stood over him before Kylo could clamber to his feet.

The red blade came down. He screamed. His hands moved to shield his face — he knew deep down it wouldn’t do any good. The hum as it cut through the air. An ear piercing screech. The saber. _His_ saber. In his hand. It sputtered and hissed, directing the enemy's blade away from his face and into the remnants of a table.

Kylo rolled to his feet, swiping at his opponent’s midsection — the same spot he had grazed before. This time it sunk deeper.

_That had to hit._

The figure clutched its stomach. It groaned, “No. It can’t be possible.” Its mask warped its voice into a hissing growl.

It turned on Kylo, running at him lashing out wildly with its lightsaber. Kylo retreated, blocking and dodging until he backed against the foot of the dais. No place left to go.

His fear flipped around on itself, folding and bending into rage. A white hot, absolute rage.  

Kylo blocked a flurry of attacks. His newly rejuvenated muscles were not going to hold out too much longer, though. And this thing was not going to stop until Kylo was dead.

He blocked the next strike, then tilted his saber as the enemy recoiled, whipping the blade down, severing its hand. Still clutching the saber, the hand tumbled to the floor.

Kylo slashed the figure across the chest. The figure fell. It groped for its saber with its intact hand.

_Pathetic. I’ll have to cut that one off, too._

He stood on the outstretched arm.

“Just give up, please. I don’t want to kill you,” he said--he begged. He really didn't want to kill this creature, not unless he absolutely had to.

“Just do it,” The creature said.

_It wants to kill me._

_Just do it._

_It wants me to kill it._

_What am I gaining by sparing this monster?_

_This is the lesson._

_But what is the correct action?_

_What does the Supreme Leader want me to do?_

_What do I want to do?_

Kylo deactivated his saber and picked up the other one, prying it from still-warm fingertips and deactivated it, also. The chamber became very dark.

A soft buzz came from the hologram projector, and Snoke’s huge image appeared.  With difficulty, the dark figure maneuvered into a kneel, wincing and moaning and clutching its stomach.

Kylo didn’t know if he was supposed to kneel as well. He hadn’t been told that and didn’t have to before, so he remained standing. The only sound was the pair’s hard breathing--almost in synchrony.

The Supreme Leader spoke, “Impressive. Yes, I think I have made a wise decision to train you. But, can you tell me why you didn’t kill him?”

Kylo held his head up, his shoulders heaved and ached, he was panting so hard he could barely force words out. “I incapacitated him. There was no need to.”

“Mercy, then,” Snoke huffed. “Yes, there is a time and place for mercy, but no one would have faulted you for not showing it here. He was trying to kill you.”

“Yes, and I assumed it was for the lesson, not for any personal or honorable reason. I don’t even know who or what this being is.” Kylo replied.

“Then let me introduce you. This is Mirra Ren, one of the Acolytes of the Beyond, a member of the elite group called the Knights of Ren.”

The figure removed its mask, revealing a strikingly youthful face, brown skin, red hair. Kylo wasn’t sure of the species, but it presented as female.

Snoke said to her, “Go and tend to your wounds-- but come straight back, I will have need of you presently.”

She got to her feet, bowed, then limped to an obfuscated side door of the chamber.

Snoke turned his attention to Kylo.“That saber you have claimed as yours once belonged to her brother, Marrik Ren. A powerful Acolyte bestowed it on him. A special gift and honor, it granted him the title of Master of the Knights of Ren.

“He was killed and the saber stolen. We discovered that it had fallen into the hands of ...undesirables.

“We didn’t want to draw attention to it, for they did not know what they had. Which is why I sent General Hux to Coruscant to claim it under a false treaty with the crime lord whose hands it had made its way to.

“The General would confiscate all of this certain crime lord’s assets which would, in turn, be sent to my Knights. Imagine my surprise when we discovered that the one thing I had sent him there to get was missing out of the entire trove of petty treasures.

“Hux knew nothing about the saber, or that it was the reason that I had sent him there, so when you claimed it, he probably thought that it was nothing more than a dusty old relic. He probably thought we were after the pecuniary assets. He would have no way of knowing.

“It is a very powerful weapon, created and originally wielded by one of the most powerful Sith that ever lived — The Sith are disciples of the Dark Side of the Force, as the Jedi are self-proclaimed of the light.”

Kylo knew about the Sith and the Jedi, but he was in no position to interrupt the Supreme Leader.

“As you have discovered, its kyber crystal is now cracked. But even as an un-wieldable weapon it still holds immense power. And yet, you have devised and crafted a way to wield it— this un-wieldable weapon.

“And wield it you do, like a wild river, like a rockslide, untamed, unpolished, unfocused. Imagine what you would be capable of if you focused and honed this power to a fine blade's edge.”

Kylo hadn’t thought about that. He hadn’t thought of anything beyond, ‘avoid death’. His head swayed, no, even as Snoke said the words.

 _No. No. This isn’t right. This is a mistake. I don’t want power. I_ _don’t know what to do with power. I’m not strong enough for this responsibility._

“You are,” Snoke said as if he had been reading his thoughts, “You may think that you are not, and that is what stands in your way. That is the _only_ thing that stands in your way.”

The chamber went silent, the only thing Kylo could hear was his own breathing. He touched his head, he felt warm. His hands were warm and tingly. He turned his hand over to look at it; it was shaking.

He was still charged with adrenaline — someone had been trying to kill him less than a moment ago. And now Snoke was heaving all this on him about Sith and the Force and how much power he could have. He wasn’t ready for this. The black void of the chamber felt like it was crushing him on all sides. The saber in his hand felt as heavy as the blackness around him.

Snoke called out, “Knights of Ren, you may approach.”

Out of the darkness, seven figures emerged, surrounded the dais, and kneeled, all dressed in similar garb, each with a grim mask concealing their face. One of them was maskless: Mirra Ren.

“Kylo, now that you know that Mirra Ren chose to fight you for her brother’s honor and for the rank of Master do you still wish to grant her mercy?” Snoke asked.

Fighting for honor and prestige didn't sound like a bad thing, it was more than Kylo had ever fought for.

“Yes.”

“Hand the saber to her,” Snoke said. Mirra Ren rose and Kylo handed her his saber as well as her own. She took both of them in her remaining hand, clipping her own saber to her belt— keeping her handless arm tucked behind her--and held Kylo's saber aloft.

“Now, Kylo, please kneel.”

Kylo did. The dark of the chamber, the unseen eyes of the Knights, Snoke's looming presence all weighed on him like the pressure of being at the bottom of a great depth of water. Heavy, crushing, dread filled him; he wasn't sure he would have the ability to stand again.

Mirra Ren ignited the saber and touched it lightly to Kylo’s shoulder, singeing his shirt “By the Will of the Force, The Acolytes of the Beyond, The Knights of Ren, you are hereby decreed, Initiate Knight. Rise now.”

At those words, Kylo rose as if he weighed nothing at all, trembling like a newly hatched Fuzzum chick exposed to the elements. Mirra Ren handed the saber back to him but she held onto it for several seconds longer than felt appropriate, making him have to pull the saber away from her hand.

“Thank you,” Kylo said, bowing his head graciously. She nodded. And as the red blade flickered between them, he detected an animosity in her eyes: She didn’t think Kylo deserved this weapon, her brother’s weapon, the weapon of the Master of the Knights of Ren. 

“Well done, Kylo, you’ve taken your first step,” Snoke said. “I promise tomorrow’s lesson will be much easier.”

 

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, Thank you all for reading, and for all those who have stuck with me, I appreciate every one of you. I feel I should say that every once in a while <3
> 
> *[Fuzzum](http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Fuzzum)


	13. ~ Fair Play ~ April Fools Bonus Chapter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say turnabout is fair play.
> 
> When Hux comes back from a “business meeting” drunker than a Gundark, Kylo takes advantage of the situation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~note~ I was going to include this as a "crack" chapter earlier, writing it before writing some of the more recent chapters--and because of that it isn't quite in continuity with the rest of the story--so I decided to just add it here as an April Fools Day bonus. It takes place about a year after the previous chapter. I wasn't sure how else to fit it in, and it's just for fun ~
> 
>  
> 
> Warning for: bondage, drunkenness, non-consensual drunk sex

 

``````````````````````````````````````` 

 

Hux had taken a shuttle planet-side to meet with prospects three days ago. It was a dinky little planet that Kylo had never heard of, Borgan or Birdo or something. He was surprised that Hux hadn't invited him along, as he had accompanied him on many other “diplomatic” missions. Usually, he came in handy. He had only really made a mess of it that _first time_ *. He’d improved a lot since then. But, recently, Hux had been shortening Kylo’s leash, so to speak. He had been excluding Kylo from missions more and more often. In fact, he hadn't taken Kylo on any for the past month.

Ever since he had become Hux’s Enforcer, Hux had allowed him access to certain parts of the ship: access to the training rooms so that he could work on his fighting skills, the machine shop — where he’d fashioned himself a rather scary-looking mask — and the officers’ lounge — where Phasma had been taking him for drinks for quite a long time before Hux found out, and Hux reluctantly added it to the sections he was permitted because Phasma said if he didn’t she would continue to take Kylo there, anyway.

Kylo liked Phasma quite a lot. He liked to think that they had a lot in common. He had based the design for his mask somewhat on Phasma’s chrome stormtrooper mask. The polished metal provided a “god-like” radiance around his eyes. It made him more intimidating, he felt, than solely black. (In actuality, she was loyal to the First Order and had never known her family, and his mask didn’t look very much like hers--so they didn't really have that much in common.)

He’d been training with Phasma for a little over a year and had gained muscle as well as skill. He had also grown about an inch and half taller. So, now he was taller and broader than Hux. Hux tolerated it, though, because he would rather have a strong Enforcer than a lover he could manhandle — Although, Hux had gotten quite a bit more aggressive in bed to compensate.

Kylo had to throw out his entire wardrobe as nothing fit him any longer. He ripped a few seams before Hux convinced him that he needed new clothes. Hux was going to be bringing him new clothes, supposedly, if this current negotiation went well. As such, he was making his way to meet Captain Phasma at the training room wearing only a plain black shirt and sweatpants, the only things that currently fit him— Hux would be scandalized if he knew.

Usually, Kylo would wear a full outfit to traipse about the ship, which would be removed when he was in the training room. He’d ripped a seam of this outfit, however, when putting it on, so decided it was less scandalous to be casually dressed than to have his underwear showing.

Phasma met him outside the training room as usual. She couldn’t even be seen with her helmet off— except in the officers' lounge — so she was attired in her complete stormtrooper armor. She looked him up and down but didn’t say anything.

Once inside, she shed her armor while Kylo swung a vibro-lance around. He only used his lightsaber in here on certain occasions because he had destroyed too much training equipment with it.

Phasma grabbed a stun-baton from the rack.

“You’re not going to use a lance?” Kylo asked. “You don’t have to give me the advantage.”

“No, those are slow and clumsy. I have the advantage. Are you ready?” Phasma said.

“Hot?” Kylo asked.

“Up to you. I wouldn’t mind adding a few more scars to that body.”

“Hux hates it when I get scars,” Kylo said, activating his lance. A purple energy crackled around each tip.

Phasma grinned widely as she activated her baton.

Kylo attacked, charging from where he was standing, hoping to catch her off-guard. She dipped to the side and let Kylo run right into her baton, jabbing him directly in the solar plexus.

“Ahh!” Kylo tried to spin, but with Phasma too close, the electrified tip wouldn’t touch her. Instead, she grabbed the lance and pulled Kylo off balance with one hand. She swatted him on the butt for good measure as he landed on the floor.

“Ow, okay I relent,” Kylo said. He rubbed his abdomen. The shirt had a burn hole in. “Ugh, this is my last shirt.”

He stood as Phasma helped him up, handing him the lance.

“Okay, that was terrible warm up. Maybe we should just do some blocking stances,” Phasma said.

“Yeah,” Kylo sighed.

“One,” Phasma said, attacking high. Kylo blocked.

“Two.” Mid. Blocked.

“Three.” Low. Blocked.

“Four.” Leg sweep. Dodged.

“One. Two. Three. Four.” Blocked. Dodged. Blocked. Dodged.

“One. Three. Two. Four.” Blocked. Blocked. Blocked. Dodged.

“Two. Three. One. Four.” Dodged. Blocked. Blocked. Tripped.

“Ack!” Kylo exclaimed.

Phasma helped him up again.

“That was awful,” she said. “You seem distracted.”

“Yeah,” Kylo said. “Sorry.”

“Okay, focus now. Put everything else out of your mind except blocking my strikes,” Phasma said. “Don’t try for any clever counter-strikes, just block.”

Kylo nodded, frustrated--he hadn’t been trying clever counter-strikes.

He did pretty well for about five minutes, then a high strike clobbered him on the side of the head.

“I’m not letting you out of this room until you can block an entire round,” Phasma said — her way of encouragement.

Kylo grumbled, “I’ve never been able to block an entire round.”

“And you never will with that attitude. Now, come on.”

 

They practiced for several more rounds —  resulting in Kylo getting three hits to the head, two behind the knee, seven to the torso, and one to the foot — Phasma was conscientious not to hit him in the face, throat or groin, and she had deactivated her baton a quarter of the way through their session. Kylo wasn’t successful at blocking an entire round, but Phasma let him go anyway — She had a kind heart.

Kylo berated himself as he racked the lance. Getting knocked in the head a couple of times hadn’t helped with his concentration. Hux was becoming more possessive since he had started training with the Knights of Ren, not less. Now, Kylo worried Hux would never let him off the ship again, and poor performance during training sessions was going to give him a good argument not to.

Phasma clapped him on the shoulder, “That was okay, sometimes we have bad days.”

“I can’t have a bad day, not when a screw-up can cost my life, or Hux’s life,” Kylo said.

“All you can do is try to do your best,” Phasma said. 

I was doing my best, Kylo grumbled to himself.

“You want to get a drink? I’ll buy,” Phasma said.

“Sure.”

“Great! Give me a minute.” Phasma trotted to the locker room. When she came back, she handed him a plain black, long-sleeve undershirt to replace the one she had burned.

“I always keep a few spare shirts in here. We can’t have you walking around _T_ _he Finalizer_ looking like you lost a fight with an **Acklay** ,” she said.

 

They were on their third or fourth round when Phasma finally coaxed out the reason for Kylo’s brooding.

“Don’t worry, General Hux isn’t upset with you. He is just re-negotiating our trade agreement with the Borovians. He does it every year. They are easy to bargain with. There won't be any trouble,” Phasma said.

“But he took stormtroopers with him,” Kylo said, stirring the ice in his glass.

“They’re just for show. Besides, I’d think that you’d like to get a break.” Phasma said.

_I'm just for show, too, most of the time. She’s right, I shouldn't even care. I should be grateful I don’t have to brutalize or kill anyone today._

“Thanks, Phasma,” Kylo said. He stood with less grace than he would have liked, the alcohol finally catching up to him. “I should go, though. He’ll be back soon.”

“Anytime.” Phasma gave him a smile.

 

Light-headed and wobbly, Kylo returned to Hux’s quarters. He showered and looked over the burns and bruises from the training session. The worst was the one on his abdomen. He applied some bacta gel, hoping it would heal enough by the time Hux got back, otherwise Hux would insist on him spending time in a bacta-tank.

To distract from the gnarly wound on his stomach, he spiffed himself up: put his hair into a ponytail, shaved, splashed on some cologne, and rubbed his entire body with the moisturizing cream that Hux had bought him to make his skin softer. Then, wrapped in a robe, he waited on the bed.

After a longer while than he expected, his hand went to the chain that was around his neck. Hux’s “symbol of love” always felt warmer whenever Hux was close by.

The door buzzed.

Peeking at the door camera, he could see Captain Phasma and the ass of someone else who was slung over her shoulder--he recognized the ass as that of General Hux.

He opened the door.

“I think this belongs to you,” Phasma said as she walked in.

“What happened?” Kylo said, somewhat flummoxed because Hux was unconscious and Phasma was being very nonchalant about it.

She tossed him on the bed.

Hux groaned, “Fffsssmmma…”

“The negotiations with the Borovians must have been more difficult than I thought. Their negotiating style often involves the consumption of large quantities potent wine,” Phasma said. “Give him lots of water, if you can, and one of these tablets, and make him sleep face down, he’ll be fine.”

“Thanks,” Kylo said, taking the bottle of medication from her.

She nodded — Kylo could sense that she had a wide grin behind her mask — then departed.

Kylo filled a glass with water and sat on the edge of the bed.

“Hey, Hermit.” He nudged Hux.

Hux muttered something.

“Drink this,” Kylo said.

“Nuh, nuh mur dzzrinkin,” Hux drooled.

“It’s water.” Kylo lifted him to a sitting position and helped him take a sip.

As if just realizing where he was and who he was with, Hux said, “Hey! Kyyyloo...”

“Let me help you get out of this uniform.” Kylo started to shimmy Hux’s jacket off. As he yanked the jacket completely off, Hux fell against his shoulder.

“Mmmmm, youu smmelll nice,” Hux said.

“Yeah.” Kylo pulled Hux’s shirt off.

Hux hugged him around the neck, “Mineminemineminemine.”

“Mmmm-Hmmm,” Kylo sighed as he tried to lay Hux down to move onto removing his trousers.

Hux refused to let go, then bit Kylo’s ear, and whispered _very_ loudly, “I wanna fuuuuck youuuu.”

“Ow! No!” Kylo prised him off.

“Y’r soo meeeeen!” Hux said, flopping backward.

“Yes, I am,” Kylo lifted a leg to tug a boot. He had slipped off both boots and was tugging on Hux’s trousers when Hux grabbed him by the hair.

“Thass it. Yeah!” Hux said, pulling Kylo’s head toward his crotch.

Kylo twisted out of his grasp. “Shit! Stop that!”

Hux flopped back again and let Kylo pull his trousers the rest of the way off. Hux squirmed on the bedspread, vaguely humming some unrecognizable song to himself.

Kylo tried make Hux sit up to give him the tablet and some more water. A bit dribbled in his mouth but most went down his chin. He ran his fingers through Hux’s hair, which had gotten far more mussed than Hux ever allowed it to. Kylo had never seen him lose control of his faculties like this. He found it adorable--almost.

Hux seized him again in a clamp-like hug, “MMMmmm, you smell so gooood! Y’r miiine, and I want.to.fuck.you.”

Those last words he enunciated jarringly sharp and clear.

Do you ever _not_ want to fuck me? Kylo thought. Hux’s hand went down Kylo’s back and, like a waterfowl after a fish, wiggled its way into his waistband.

“Listen, you better behave...or...” Kylo said.

“Or...whhhat?” Hux said, exhaling a hot, pungent breath that smelled like honey and ash.

“...Or...else,” Kylo said, pushing at Hux’s chest.

Hux laughed at that. He laughed until he lost his grip. Kylo grabbed him by a butt-cheek.

“How would you like it if _I_ grabbed _your_ ass?” He said.

Hux cackled, “Dun’t threat’n me with a good time.”

“Oh yeah, you’d like that?” Kylo said, digging his fingernails in.

Hux grinned at him, daring him to make good on his threat, “Hahhaha! You dun’t have th’ balls.”

“I don’t have the balls, eh?” Kylo said, shoving him down.

“No. you. don’t.” Hux said.

Kylo straddled Hux around the waist, pinning his arms down with his knees. Hux continued smiling like he wanted to be slapped— so Kylo did. As his hand contacted Hux cheek, Hux’s expression went from smugly taunting to wide-eyed astonishment. His hand stung, and Kylo got a rush from it-- a different kind of rush than what he felt during combat.

“Ha!” Hux said after a few seconds, his grin returning.

Kylo slapped him again. Hux laughed. Even in Hux’s inebriated state, Kylo expected some kind of backlash, not more taunting. More to his shock, he, himself, was getting aroused by it.

A single, soft caress from Hux could clear Kylo’s mind of anything beyond physical sensation, but this was different. His own desire to punish Hux for being so obstinate made his loins roil like an approaching storm.  

“Don’t laugh,” Kylo warned.

Kylo could overpower him--if he wanted to. He was certainly lusty enough. Hux was not incompetent physically, to be sure, he knew how to use strength. He had a slim physique but could put a man on the floor with one swift hand to the throat. However, in a match of brute muscle, Kylo was the stronger of the two.

On the very rare occasion that Hux allowed Kylo to lead their lovemaking it was never to the point that Kylo felt like the dominating one for very long. Hux would let him have an illusion of control, only to pull the reins tighter.

But, here Hux was, challenging Kylo to a dominance game as if he expected Kylo to yield without question even though he was the one pinned to the mattress. And, here Kylo was, considering not yielding.

He should let Hux win, but Hux rarely left himself this unguarded, he may never have another chance. Not thinking for even one second about the consequences, Kylo lept off Hux, and to the closet in what felt like one bound, his adrenaline floating him across the room like his feet didn’t even touch the floor. His heart pounded and a kind of euphoric joy flowed through him as he grabbed the leather cuffs and chain from the back of the closet and had jumped back on top of Hux before his mind had caught up to his actions.

“You didn’t know I knew about this, did you?” Kylo shook the chain in his face.

Hux grunted as Kylo’s weight sunk onto him, “Huh?”

“Don’t act stupid,” Kylo said through his teeth and slapped a cuff around Hux’s wrist. He flung the chain around the back of the headboard cuffed the other wrist, giving Hux some amount of movement, but not enough to free himself.

“Oh, y’u braat!” Hux said, pulling his bonds with hilarious ineffectuality.

Kylo rested his forearms to either side of Hux’s head, “So, do you like that?”

Hux narrowed his eyes.

”Let me go, Kylo.”

Kylo thought briefly of laughing it off and saying, ‘it was just a joke. You have no sense of humor when you’re drunk,’ but the rush of power he felt overwhelmed him and seemed to direct his actions. His hand slid along Hux’s thighs as he pushed his knees apart, forcing his hips between Hux’s legs.

He teased Hux’s virgin asshole with his finger. Virgin, he assumed, anyway. His finger nudged its way in, and the way Hux's face twisted let Kylo know that he had indeed been correct in his assumption. Hux’s eyes were wet with fury — and possibly fear.

“Stoppit!” Hux commanded.

“Tell, me, My Love, what am I to you?” Kylo said.

“What?” Hux grunted as Kylo’s finger prodded deeper.

“Am I your lover? Your Enforcer? A possession? A tool?” Kylo asked in a calm, sublime voice. The chain around his neck felt even warmer. “Merely a pet?”

“Let me go NOW! Or I will nev’r let you out of this room again!” Hux shouted. The realization of his current situation seemed to have made him suddenly soberly coherent.

“I see,” Kylo said softly, his question answered. Kylo considered for a moment, his hand moving toward Hux’s bound wrist, but, once again, the trembling in his chest, the feeling of power and dominance, drowned any rationale. He decided that he would rather Hux locked him away forever than continue to taunt him with any more illusions of autonomy. 

\--But he would have this moment, and Hux was powerless to take it away.

Kylo thrust his hips in rhythm with his fingers, his prick pressed to Hux’s groin, sliding back and forth in mock intercourse.

“Had you ever had anyone before me?” Kylo asked.

“That is none of your concern,” Hux growled.

“You were my first. But you probably knew that,” Kylo said as he brushed Hux’s hair around his ear.

Hux looked at him with large, wet eyes. He looked vulnerable. So helpless and impudent, in fact, that Kylo wanted to punish him for it.

He squeezed in another finger, twisting back and forth. Hux bucked up, wincing and squirming.

He was hot and silky and so tight, Kylo imagined what actual intercourse would feel like. He moaned as Hux shuddered in pain.

He couldn’t wait any longer, or he was going to come before he got the chance to experience Hux’s warm, tight asshole around his cock. He pulled the lube from the drawer and slathered himself, not so much because he worried about hurting Hux, but he worried about hurting himself.

He quivered as he guided his hard erection to Hux’s entrance. A small push, poking the tip in. Hux grunted.

“You like that?” Kylo bent to sprinkle Hux’s chest with little kisses.

Hux heaved a sigh, pressing his eyes closed, no longer protesting.

Kylo spoke softly as he nudged in deeper and deeper, “That’s it— let me all the way in.” The sensation was...incredible. Better than he had imagined. He had to stop for a moment — the tight softness was overwhelming.

“Oh, My Love,” Kylo muttered, “You may have had someone before me, but never like this.”

Hux opened his eyes to look at him. “You’ve wanted this for a long time, haven’t you,” Hux mocked.

“No, but I think you have.” Kylo tongue pressed his lips and he started moving.

Hux rolled his head to the side.

Kylo said soothingly, “Don’t deny it, My Love, it’s such a weight on your shoulders to always have to be in charge, always have to be the dominate one. It’s stressful. Just let go. It’s okay. It’s just you and me. Give yourself over to me. Let yourself enjoy this.”

“No,” Hux breathed.

“I’m not a threat to you, to your rank or your status. You can treat me like an equal without repercussions.”

“I treat you better than an equal,” Hux gritted his teeth. “I give you everything you need.”

Kylo pushed Hux’s knees higher, changing the angle, leaning into him more. Hux pulled the chains taut enough to get leverage to start rocking into Kylo’s thrusts, his cock twitching, stiffening.

“You treat me like a pet,” Kylo punctuated with a hard thrust.  “Locking me up when you think I’m getting too independent.”

“Everything I do, I do for you. AH!” Hux hollered as Kylo pounded harder and faster.

“For me? Ha! You made me a monster! I killed for you!” shouted Kylo.

“You liked it!” Hux clamped his legs behind Kylo’s back while Kylo’s lower abdomen vigorously rubbed his erection.

“No!”

“Yes, you told me you liked it. Corullious Xorahhn wasn't enough to satisfy your bloodlust. You told me you wanted more!”

Kylo grasped Hux by the hair. “No! I never wanted this! You stole my life from me, and I can never have it back. You always said you loved me, but why would you do this to me if you loved me?“

“I love you. I love only you. All I wanted since the first day I saw you was to have you.” Hux said, tears sliding down the side of his face.

“I'm not a possession.”

"You're mine!"

"No!"

“You’re MINE!” Hux roared, a stream of creamy white cum spurting on his belly.

Heaving and panting, Kylo screamed “NO!” as he came inside his oppressor, his tormentor, his lover.

No. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. He leaned his head on Hux’s forehead as tears flooded his eyes, all the power he had felt coursing through his veins now drained from him.

They both panted for a moment, breathing each other's air. 

“I’m sorry, My Love,” Kylo said faintly.

“Unchain me, Kylo,” Hux demanded.

Kylo unchained him.

Hux pushed Kylo off as soon as he was freed, storming off to the refresher, swaying like a drunkard. “You’re such an asshole.”

Kylo heard the shower, then a few minutes later, a loud _thump_.

He hurried to check on the noise. “Hux? Are you alright?” Peeking in the door, he saw Hux sprawled on the floor, passed out, shower spraying water onto the floor.

Kylo carried him to the bed, slid in next to him, pulling the sheet up, and wrapped his arms around him. Hux was cool and damp and fresh smelling. Hux would certainly be furious in the morning, and Kylo didn’t know what he unpleasant thing he might do, but he was enjoying this moment while it lasted.

_Yes, I’m an asshole— for loving you. How can I, though? How can I love you while I hate you? You know how much I need you, and you know just how much to give me before taking it away._

 

When Kylo woke, Hux rolled over to face him, eyes twinkling.

Hux smiled and said sleepily, “Good morning, My Love.”

Kylo looked at him, puzzled-- but relieved. He had expected Hux to be enraged.

“Morning,” Kylo muttered.

 

Had his defiant actions the night before made Hux  ** _respect_  **him? 

no.

More likely, he had been so inebriated that he didn’t remember.

 

Regardless...

 

That day, during training with Phasma, Kylo was able to block every strike for an entire round, even managing a few counter-strikes that knocked Phasma on her ass.

“Excellent,” she said when they were racking their weapons, “Whatever you did to help focus today, keep it up!”

“Oh, well,” Kylo scratched his head coyly, “That’s probably not going to happen.”

Phasma eyed him askance.

Kylo smiled at her, “I guess I get to buy you a drink this time.”

 

 

``````````````````````

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * see [Ch.10](http://archiveofourown.org/works/8627464/chapters/22479440)
> 
> *Acklay is the creature Obi-Wan Kenobi fought during the Battle of Geonosis. Due to a rare mutation, some learn to use force lightning with their mouths.


	14. Servant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hux is determined to find out why Supreme Leader Snoke has shown a sudden interest in Kylo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter picks up immediately after Ch 12. 
> 
> Kylo's not in this one very much, it's mostly Hux. In fact, Kylo has only three words. (it's not the three you're thinking of)
> 
>  
> 
> (Also, I apologize if there are any weird extra letters or symbols in places. I edited some of this on my phone, and for some reason, when I switched to my laptop, there were just random letters and symbols in places. I think I caught them all, but maybe not)

 

 

@~~~~~~~~~~@

 

 

Hux tapped his fingers on the control panel, fuming. The Knights of Ren had been on  _T_ _he Finalizer_ for a full day and he had only just found out a minute ago. They were not subordinate to him—they had no rank in the First Order’s hierarchy at all—and they were not required to inform him about their dealings. Nevertheless, he ought to be informed of _everything_ that occurred on _his_ ship, dammit!

But, what could he do about it? Complain to the Supreme Leader? That never went well.

Compounding that distressing news was the more pressing question: _Why_ were they here?

The Knights had only been on board a few times, and always when they were preparing for a crucial assault. Kree, Gyr, and Ful’nath had been pacified, the supply chain to the Wyl Sector was now secured, and there had been no surprise attacks on the First Order. His mission on Kree had a bit of a hiccup, but it had been resolved, and nothing else out of the ordinary had happened—

—except for one thing—

—Snoke had requested to see Kylo the day prior to the Knights arrival—had spoken to him in private.

It couldn’t be a coincidence.

Their presence had to have something to do with Kylo. But what? What was Snoke up to?

His thoughts kept directing back to that small but crucial particular—Snoke had wanted to see Kylo _alone_. Why the need for secrecy? Not that the Supreme Leader wasn’t _always_ secretive. Hux had never been wholly privy to the clandestine layers of Snoke’s plots and plans nor to his mysterious goals. He sometimes wondered if Snoke did not always have the best interests of the First Order in mind when crafting his shadowy plans—this was one of those times.

His fingers rapped on the smooth console surface and he appeared to be staring intently at the screen, but he was barely paying attention to it when he received a notification from Captain Phasma: her report regarding the assault on Kree was finished and awaiting his acknowledgment.

He was too perturbed just then to read it.

Instead, he sent in a request for an audience with the Supreme Leader, then, as he needed a way to vent his frustration, set about planning a firm coercion (that sounded better than: hostile takeover) of an asteroid mining operation in this sector. He needed a place to intern the Kreel that they had taken captive, preferably some place remote and unpleasant (that sounded better than: imprison in a slave labor camp with deplorable living conditions).

He didn’t end up reading the report until near the end of his shift.

The report described standard protocol: After securing the outside of the Kreel fortress, the troopers had breached the gate and subdued the hostiles. The stormtroopers had killed a number of Kreel guards, but most of the inhabitants had surrendered.

High Lord Cal’rrrek must have fled, he was nowhere to be found within the fortress. His second-in-command, Lord Dak’ken, had been taken into custody with two severed limbs. The report noted that Kylo, Lord Dak’Ken, and the unconscious general had been near the entrance when the troopers penetrated the fortress. It was not Phasma’s place to speculate on what might have occurred, so only she only stated that Kylo had a weapon, the lightsaber, in his hand, and Lord Dak’ken was laid out on the ground without a hand and a foot.

_So, Kylo might be shaping up to be an effective Enforcer, after all—_

There were a few other oddities: Nine guards were found dead when the troopers searched the labyrinthine passageways, three more were discovered in a prison cell, and the door to the armory had been left wide open.

_— perhaps too effective. This must be why Snoke wanted to see him, wanted him to have supplementary training._

Hux pinched his lips and dug his fingernails into his palms.

Still, it seemed strange and suspicious that Snoke would give special attention to a trainee, even a promising one. Not to mention that Kylo’s past didn’t make him the most trustworthy candidate for privileged First Order training. Hux trusted him, or at least he had until now, but there was no reason that Snoke should.

He notified Captain Phasma on his comm, requesting to see her in his ready room as soon as possible. His ready room door buzzed less than ten minutes later.

“Captain, please come in,” Hux greeted her. She entered. “I would like to get some clarifications on your report.”

“Is there a discrepancy, sir?” She asked.

Hux clasped his hands behind his back. Phasma stood taller than the general, so he held his head a bit higher and his back stiffer than usual to compensate.

“No, I would just like some details, please,” Hux said. “Oh, and you may take your helmet off.”

She removed her helmet and held it under her arm, her expression cool and impassive.

“Firstly, however, did you send this report to Supreme Leader Snoke before you sent it to me?”

“No, sir, I have not sent the report to the Supreme Leader.”

Good. It was Hux’s responsibility to disclose information to the Supreme Leader, not the Captain’s. But, that curtailed his theory as to why Snoke wanted to speak to Kylo in confidence and offer him preferential training.

Hux tipped onto the balls of his feet. Even with her helmet off, he still felt somewhat dwarfed by the stormtrooper captain.

“When you breached the Fortress and found me and Kylo, you saw Kylo engaged with the High Lord’s second-in-command, is that right?”

“Yes, sir,” Phasma said, “The hostile was subdued, so I gave Kylo an order to stand down."

"Kylo had fought him alone, and had him down without any assistance from the stormtroopers," Hux said, altering the phrasing in the report.

"I believe so. There was no indication that he had any help. If I may speak freely, sir," Phasma said.

"Please," Hux nodded.

"I believe he would have killed the Kreel Lord had I not stopped him."

"I see," Hux said, hiding the surge of pride he felt in Kylo. “After taking Lord Dak'ken into custody, your troopers searched the Fortress for High Lord Cal’rrrek.”

“Yes. We conducted a thorough search. Unfortunately, he was not found anywhere in the fortress.  Several Kreel ships were shot down attempting to flee, but he was not in any of them. I take full responsibility for my troopers’ inability to capture him.”

“I appreciate that, Captain, but we have his Fortress, his armaments, his ships, his men, I doubt he's in any position to retaliate,” Hux assured her. “I'm actually more interested in what you found while searching.”

“We found a repository of currency and valuables that do not appear to have originated on Kree, a second vault holding a variety of weapons, predominantly blasters, a fully stocked larder-”

“I was referring to the dead Kreel guards,” Hux said. “twelve of them?”

“Ten, sir,” Phasma said.

“How were they killed?”

“Six of them had burned slash or stab wounds, one was decapitated, two were killed by blaster bolts and one by other means.”

“What were the ‘other means’?” Hux asked.

“His injury was not apparent, and I have not requested a report as to the cause of death. He was found in the cell with two other guards who were knocked unconscious; the two were later revived and have been taken to cell block 76E.”

“Do you have an idea who did all that?”

Phasma hesitated. Her expression lost a bit of its hard, stoic edge and softened around the brow, showing a hint of worry.

“I surmised that Kylo had killed and knocked out the three guards in the cell, found his way to the armory, retrieved his lightsaber, and killed the other guards while attempting to rescue you. Since neither I nor my troopers had witnessed it—and it’s only conjecture--I left it off the report.”

Hux relaxed his posture somewhat, crossing his arms. “Did you leave anything else off of the report?”

Phasma pursed her lips. “Yes, sir.”

“Please, tell me,” Hux said.

“Kylo was...mostly nude. I gave him my cape,” Phasma said, unsure if that was appropriate to mention, “And he reclaimed his necklace from Lord Dak’ken.”

Hux knew about the state of Kylo’s dress (or rather, undress), and his own—he knew that they had both been stripped of their clothing. He did not know that the necklace had been recovered, assuming that it had been taken along with their clothes.

“Thank you, Captain, you may go,” Hux said.

Phasma nodded and replaced her helmet.

“Oh, one more thing,” Hux said as she turned to leave. “Are you planning a training session with Kylo tonight?”

“I thought it might be best to give him a few days off,” Phasma said.

“I think he’s well enough. I’ll let him know that you’ll meet him after your shift.”

“Yes, sir,” Phasma said.

“But, if you're worried, you can go easy on him.”

“Yes, sir.”

 

 @~~~~~~~~~~@

 

A stormtrooper led Hux down the long hallway past two dozen identical doors, finally stopping at one.

“E-37,” The stormtrooper said.

“Thank you,” Hux said, pressing the panel that opened the door. Inside, a blue and magenta striped Kreel lay on the single durasteel plank that furnished the small cell. Bandages were wrapped around the end of a handless arm and a leg that had been cut off mid-calf. Too big for the bench (or the cell), it was bunched into a ball in an attempt to fit on it.

It sat up when Hux entered. A shimmering, faintly blue forcefield prevented him from going in more than a few feet.

“Lord Dak’ken,” Hux said.

“Ah, the red-haired general, finally come to bask in my glory?” Dak’ken growled.

“I want to ask you some questions,” Hux said.

Dak’ken rose and hopped closer to the forcefield, using the wall to balance. He tilted his head. “I didn’t get to see before, but you have remarkable-colored eyes. You would have been quite a prize for the High Lord.”

Hux felt queasy. The stink of this creature assailed him, a musky, oily, sickening scent.

“Speaking of,” Hux said, breathing as much as he could through his mouth, although he swore he could taste the nauseating odor, as well. “Tell me the location of his emergency sanctum.”

Dak’ken made a noise that was halfway between a laugh and a cough, “That’s not a question.”

Hux was irritated—and puzzled. The Kreel were rumored to be servile and respectful to those who conquered them in battle.

_But, I didn’t conquer him. Kylo did._

He had to convince Dak’ken that Kylo’s actions represented the First Order, that they were one and the same, that if he submitted to one he must submit to the other.

“You, and all your brethren, are going to be sent to work in an asteroid mine under the control of the First Order. I can assure that you are treated well, and perhaps, after years of faithful service, allowed to return to your home world. Or I can see to it that you will die on that miserable hunk of rock. It’s up to you and how willing you are to cooperate,” Hux told him.

“Threats mean nothing to me,” Dak’ken said.

The Kreel was much larger than him, and Hux reflexively tipped up on the balls of his feet and lifted his chin higher. “How did you lose your hand? And half of your leg?”

“A Powerful Warrior bested me in combat,” the Kreel answered smugly, “You have done nothing but puff up like strutting peacock.”

“A servant of the First Order did that to you,” Hux said.

“No, he is a Powerful One, he is no servant,” Dak’ken said.

“He takes his orders from me; I am his master. And believe me, I can do much worse. I can order the destruction of your High Lord's fortress, of the entire city, I can order the deaths of every one of your brethren.”

The Kreel laughed, “You are an arrogant fool. Ordering this and that from the shelter of this battleship. You have no real power.”

“Well, if you aren’t going to cooperate willingly, our interrogation methods are quite effective,” Hux said.

“Yes, send someone else to do your dirty work,” Dak’ken said.

Hux felt his composure slipping, and left before it did.

As the door closed, the Kreel Lord said “Watch your back, Red. He is more powerful than you know, this One you call a servant. You can control an army, but you cannot control such power as his.”

Hux furrowed his brow and glanced at his datapad; he mustn’t let this wretched creature fluster him. Maybe he should send Kylo to interrogate him? Kylo didn’t have any interrogation training, but Dak’ken at least respected him.

“E-42,” he told the stormtrooper, although he doubted any of the other Kreel captives would be more disposed to divulge information to him than Dak’ken had been.

The trooper led him to the cell and Hux opened the door. A smaller, but an equally foul-smelling, light blue colored Kreel perched on the bench. As the door clacked open, the reptiloid, as if anticipating a beating, curled as far as it could into the corner. Perhaps Hux could get information out of him, after all. 

Hux turned to the stormtrooper. “Hand me your baton.”

Baton in hand, Hux deactivated the forcefield. The Kreel wailed and crossed its arms over its face as a frenetic, pink electricity sparked around the end of the baton.

“I’m here for information,” Hux said, “You are going to give me what I want.”

The Kreel nodded, “Yes.”

“Where is the High Lord?” Hux asked, not really expecting a guard of low status to know the answer.

The Kreel shook its head—it shook all over. “I don’t know, please, please don’t hurt me. I beg your forgiveness for what we did to your companion...and...to you.”

 _What did he do to Kylo? What did he do to_ **_me_ ** _?_

“Abducting and imprisoning a high-ranking officer is punishable by death,” Hux smiled cruelly. “But, I’m reasonable, so if you tell me the truth, I will reduce your punishment to life imprisonment and ten standard years hard labor.”

“I’m telling the truth! I promise!” The Kreel cried, throwing itself prostrate on the floor. Hux could see a stitched wound on the back of its head. 

Hux waited a few moments for the thing to cry and plead a bit more before hushing it, “Alright, I believe you. But I still have a few more questions. You will answer them.”

“Yes, Great One, I will answer them.”

“My companion, he attacked you, correct? Tell me how that happened.”

“We were...we were in the cell, he was threatening the Overseer, threatening to kill him. The Overseer released him, and he attacked us.”

“If he was threatening the Overseer, why did he release him?” Hux shoved the baton in the Kreel’s face.

“I don’t know! I don’t know! Please!” The Kreel shrunk away.

“Useless,” Hux said, raising the baton as if to strike.

“No!” The Kreel curled into a ball.

“Then tell me what happened!” Hux demanded.

The Kreel groveled. “We were...the Overseer—Please, I’m sorry-”

Hux kicked him in the face. “Tell me!”

The Kreel whimpered, bloody drool dripping from his mouth, “We were-were preparing the Dark-Eyed one for the High Lord, and-and we were about to prepare you, too, but the Overseer wanted to...to...take you first—the High Lord would never know. I-I didn’t think it was a good idea. I didn’t want him to do it. I told him not to.

“Dark-Eyes threatened to kill him and he unchained him, I don’t know why. He hit the Overseer and my brother tried to stun him, but it didn’t work. I tried to shoot him, but—I don’t remember anything else. I think he knocked out my brother and the Overseer while I was trying to get my blaster. It was all too fast.”

Hux felt a knotting in his stomach. The stench from the creature was sickening enough, but as the Kreel described the incident, bile rose in his throat and a wave of nausea rolled through him. These disgusting creatures would have violated him, and maybe they had already done so to Kylo. He didn’t ask the Kreel to elaborate on what he meant by “prepare” but he could imagine all kinds of obscene, repugnant acts.

“My companion’s name is Kylo, and I should kill you for touching him.” Hux hit the Kreel with the baton. Across the face. When arms came up to shield the face, he struck those. He had only meant to hit him once, but a fury took over, and he hit him over and over. Strikes to his shoulders and back. Jabs to the ribs.

The Kreel bawled and tried to make the words, ‘I’m sorry’.

Hux had begun kicking as well as thrashing with the baton when he realized that this thing had only been following orders, and who he really wanted to punish was the High Lord himself, Cal’rrrek. He wanted to beat Cal’rrrek to death in front of his devoted followers and underlings and in front of his own men as a demonstration of his strength and power.

The Kreel coughed, rolling on the floor, “I submit, Great One! Please have mercy!”

“You don’t deserve mercy,” Hux said, wiping his mouth of the saliva that started dripping down.

His stomach twisted tighter, he had to flee the cell before he retched. He dropped the baton as he swayed then fell into the hallway and vacated his stomach.

“Sir!” The stormtrooper knelt down to deactivate the baton as it flickered and sputtered on grate flooring. “I need a medic on cell block 76E-42!” The trooper called into his comm.

“No, no,” Hux said, putting his hand out for the stormtrooper to help him stand. “No, I’m okay. The foul reek of that thing got to me. I just need some fresh air.”

He intended to interrogate the second Kreel guard but he was feeling woozy, so needed to clear his head first. As he walked out of the cell block, breathing deeply the purified, aseptic air of the ship, it became apparent that the musk given off by the Kreel had caused him to unwittingly act animalistic and barbarous. He’d have to be mindful of that next time.

He found a refresher to splash cold water on his face then returned to the cell-block. The stormtrooper showed him to the cell. Hux felt a roil of queasiness even before opening the door in anticipation of the gut-turning stench. He had gotten overly sensitized to it because he his throat burned with bile the second he walked in.

A green and black striped Kreel sat on the bench. It looked away from him as he approached.

“I’m here to ask some questions,” Hux said.

“So, ask,” the Kreel said. It wasn’t as insolent as Lord Dak’ken, nor as groveling as the blue Kreel. But it did seem like it didn’t care, so maybe it would surrender information without Hux having to employ violence.

“You abducted me and another dignitary of the First Order, that’s a crime of the highest order, second only to murder,” Hux said.

“I didn’t do that, I had nothing to do with that. I just wash the slaves and get them ready for the High Lord,” The Kreel replied.

“Do you know who I am?” Hux inquired.

The Kreel looked at him, shaking his head side to side and shrugging, “All I know is the High Lord wanted you, so you must be important.”

“I’m important enough to sentence you to death for your involvement unless you answer my questions truthfully. In which case, I can lessen your sentence. So, I’d appreciate it if you showed a little respect,” Hux said. The musky scent had already started to muddy his mind. A dull pain pressed on his temple. The room felt watery. He had to get his answers and get out before he either passed out or cracked this wretched creature’s skull open on the cell wall.

“The High Lord fled the Royal Fortress, do you know where he went?” Hux asked.

“I’ve never even seen the High Lord, except at his coronation and other mandatory ceremonies,” the Kreel said as if Hux should have already known that.  

Of course, Hux had figured as much. But that wasn’t his main concern. “The man who was imprisoned with me, can you tell me how he escaped?”

“He didn’t, the Overseer let him go,” the Kreel answered.

“Why? Why did the Overseer let him go?” Hux asked.

“I don’t know. The prisoner was yelling and saying he was going to kill us, it seemed like a bad idea to release him. But Overseer seemed to know what he was doing, though. I thought about stopping him, but...no, I tried to stop him, and...” The Kreel seemed to have trouble remembering. “I don’t know, it just seemed like a better idea not to.”

“What happened after that?”

“The prisoner knocked the Overseer out cold.” The Kreel rubbed his stomach. “I hit him with a stun club, but it didn’t stun him. He grabbed it from me and hit me with it. Apparently, it did stun me, though. I woke up here.”

“Thank you for your cooperation, I’ll see to it that you’re _not_ tortured Hux said.

His questions hadn’t really been answered, and only raised more questions, but, as he walked back to his room and his head cleared of the effects of the Kreel pheromones, he had a realization: He knew why Snoke wanted Kylo. It was something he had considered—and feared—hoping it was too far-fetched. But it had to be the reason.

 

 @~~~~~~~~~~@

 

When Hux returned to his quarters, Kylo had already left for his session with Phasma. He looked through the dresser that he had let Kylo take over. There wasn’t much in it since he had not returned Kylo’s clothing to him, only some training fatigues, underclothes, and socks. In one drawer, however, he found a collar and chain—the one that Kylo had been wearing when Hux purchased him—and the necklace.

Hux picked up the necklace—a link was broken.

 

 @~~~~~~~~~~@

 

During dinner, Kylo was particularly reticent. The only thing he would say about his training was that the Supreme Leader had a special mission for him that he had to prepare for and that he didn’t know anything beyond that.

Hux glared at him, tapping the side of his plate. He was certain that Kylo did indeed have a telepathic proficiency and that Snoke had found this out. The inhibitor necklace he had given Kylo to wear must have prevented Snoke from perceiving it until it was broken by Lord Dak’ken.

He wasn’t sure how Snoke discovered this from half a galaxy away. Maybe he had an infiltrator on the ship posing as an officer or even a stormtrooper. Hux had looked into a possible way of detecting psionic aptitude, but the only way was to use someone else with psionic skill or have a willing test subject. So any spy would also have to be a telepath. That was a disconcerting thought. Of course, maybe the Supreme Leader didn't need a spy. Snoke’s power was unfathomable, and Hux learned long ago not to underestimate his wizardly powers.

 

“I had your necklace repaired.” Hux held out a small box.

Hux, who had been watching him intently to gauge his reaction, noticed the nearly imperceptible twitch of Kylo’s brow.

_Was that flash of contempt? No, it must just be surprise._

Snoke was now aware of Kylo’s psionic aptness, but Hux didn’t know the extent of Kylo’s capabilities—or if Kylo even knew himself—and if Snoke was colluding with him, or worse, coercing him, to influence Hux psychically in some way, the inhibitor would prevent Kylo from doing so.

Hux opened the box. The chain had been repaired with a dark blue link.

“I thought you might like a memento of our victory on Kree; Since Lord Dak’ken broke it, I had it repaired with a link made from one of his scales,” Hux told Kylo (more arrogantly than he meant to).

Kylo picked up the chain and looked at it like it was a hundred-legged insect, fascinated but repulsed.

“Allow me,” Hux said, taking the chain and encircling it around Kylo’s neck.

_You’re mine, Kylo, My Love, and if you can hear my thoughts, know that you will always be mine._

The ends clasped together with a minute _click_.

 

 @~~~~~~~~~~@

 

Hux pulled Kylo closer, kissed him, caressed his bare chest. He slid his hand lower, to the abdomen, then lower, his fingers gliding along the trail of fine hair to the flocculent tufts. He teased Kylo with the lightest of strokes. Kylo made a quiet moan, subtly lifting his hips to increase the contact.

“You’re beautiful, My Love,” Hux whispered, nuzzling Kylo beneath the ear.

_So beautiful. The most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. I could pet you like this forever, watching you moan and writhe with pleasure at my touch._

Hux whispered, barely audible, “No one will ever love you as much as I do.” He licked his fingers and gently prodded Kylo’s entrance. “No one else can make you feel this good.”

Hux rolled Kylo over, grabbed his hips, pulled Kylo against him, then—

—the bedside console buzzed: An urgent message from Supreme Leader Snoke.

Hux leaned over to view the screen: <<I request Kylo’s presence immediately. General Hux, you may accompany him>>

He slammed his fist on the console.

“Get dressed, Kylo, in a fresh uniform; you have been summoned by the Supreme Leader,” Hux told him then stomped to his closet and snatched a fresh uniform for himself.

 _I_ may _accompany him? Like I’m a lackey or servant or something equally insulting._

 

His anger gave way to uneasiness, then panic, then fear. He knew what Snoke wanted.

 

 @~~~~~~~~~~@

 

It was dark, as it usually was, in the hologram chamber, but this time the darkness felt foreboding, heavy, frightening. Hux had never been afraid of the dark, but he was afraid now. This huge, glowing, ghost-like manifestation towering over him was going to take his love away, he knew, he felt it, a raw scraping in the pit of his stomach, a gnawing in his bones, he was powerless to stop it.

“As you know, General, I have taken an interest in your slave,” Snoke said.

The air in the chamber felt still, smelled stale. Hux swallowed, his throat dry.

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” he said hoarsely.

Kylo stood next to him; he glanced at Hux, then to the floor as if hiding some secret.

The still air grew somehow even stiller. Hux’s heart pounded so loudly, he was sure Snoke could hear it. Then, as the words came, his heart stopped and the ground dropped out from beneath him leaving him nothing to hang onto. The words Hux dreaded fell from Snoke’s twisted mouth like pouring acid on a wound:

“I wish for him to have extended training. My Knights are leaving tomorrow, I would like Kylo to prepare to leave with them.”

No.

No.no.no. Curse every godforsaken thing in existence! NO!

_He could have anyone in the galaxy. Why does he have to take the only person that I love? I longed for him, dreamt of holding him in my arms, for three years, regretting every day that didn’t ask his name. No, not for this, not to have him taken away!_

His legs nearly gave out. He wanted to fall to his hands and knees and beg, plead, grovel, anything to make Snoke change his mind.  He bit the inside of his lip to prevent the dastardly water welling in his eyes from escaping.

He said, steady as a stone, “Kylo is a useful asset to me, and to the First Order. Remaining on _The Finalizer_ and getting first-hand combat experience would benefit his training. He has great potential as an Enforcer. In fact, on Kree, after we had been shot down, he-”

“I know what happened on Kree, General, and it's best not to bring up your own failure to anticipate an attack," Snoke said. He rubbed his hands together then rested his chin on his them.

After a cold silence, Snoke said, “I know he has great potential. I know far better than you do, General.”

Hux peered at Kylo, who stared at the floor as if he could disappear into the darkness if he was still enough.

“But,” Snoke continued, “I do agree with you that first-hand experience might be better for him than strictly training. " He tapped his chin then leaned back, and, amazingly, assented to Hux's request. "Very well, he will remain on _The Finalizer_ , for the time being. I will send an elite team that he will train with. Give them the finest guest accommodations.”

Hux’s eyes brightened like a child's upon receiving a basket of holiday candy—not that he had ever had candy as a child.

“Thank you, Supreme Leader,” Hux said.

Kylo’s shoulders slumped, barely enough to notice, but Hux did.

Snoke said to Kylo, “Obey them as you would me. I’ll check on your progress in a few weeks.”

Kylo nodded and said quietly—although, in the vast chamber, even whispers echoed: “Yes, Supreme Leader.”

 

 

 @~~~~~~~~~~@

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooh cockblock! Yes, Hux is a dick, but Snoke is a bigger dick. (Sorry, it was just too good not to toss it in)
> 
> I think we're getting towards the end here, guys. I will probably have some time skips after this chapter. And I can now say that (probably) this story will not directly lead into the movie but will end a few years before the movie begins. However, I think I want to have a bonus chapter or two that take place either during or after the movie. I don't want to promise anything, though. 
> 
>  
> 
> *peacocks do exist in Star Wars  
> http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Peacock


	15. Initiate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> The Dark Side is calling, all he has to do is let it in.
> 
> ~~~~~@~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! Meesa back!  
> heh heh
> 
> I'm sorry for the break, guys, I don't know what happened. I watched TLJ trailer about 600 times, then I must have spent a week in a haze because now it's two weeks later! XD
> 
> Anyway, I have the outline for two or three more chapters after this one. I think I'll be able to get those finished and posted in a timely manner. Again, I'm sorry, I understand how it is waiting for a chapter update. I appreciate all of you, and I'm flabbergasted that this has gotten 2000+ hits. *Mind Blown*
> 
> Warning for: consensual sex ( do I need to put a warning for that? I don't know, but just in case)

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

Did he even mean anything to either of them? Besides being a possession, of course. A possession so prized that they, two of the First Order’s eminent leaders, were bickering about ownership.

Hux proclaimed daily that he loved him, but seemed oblivious or--indifferent--as to whether he was happy. Snoke seemed to have a dispassionate fascination in him solely because a broken weapon that had once belonged to Master Knight of Ren had, as Snoke had described it, an affinity for him. The Knights of Ren themselves didn’t seem to like him at all or want him in their cadre. (But, maybe the Knights of Ren didn’t like each other, either.)

He had the impression that Snoke was more curious about the outcome of this training than he was concerned with his well-being--like he was conducting some kind of experiment on him. After all, if Kylo hadn’t passed that first ‘lesson’ he would have ended up with a lightsaber through him. But, he should feel honored, shouldn’t he? That someone as powerful and venerated as the Supreme Leader would choose him for an apprentice.

They have been talking about him like he wasn't even there. If he wasn’t going to have any say in this conversation, he’d rather not be there at all.

“But, General,” Snoke was saying, “The next I time request Kylo to be sent to me--or to be sent anywhere--you will send him.”

“Yes, Supreme Leader,” Hux said.

“Kylo, you are dismissed, I have some other matters to discuss with General Hux,” Snoke said.

Kylo left the hologram chamber. He debated whether to go back to Hux’s room or wait outside the door for him. He waited for several minutes; a few groups of patrolling stormtroopers walked past, ignoring his presence--which was fine with him.

Eventually, he returned to Hux’s chamber. Unable to sleep, he stared at the ceiling for what felt like at least an hour before the door _wooshed_ open. Hux got into bed with him, stroked his hair, and smiled at him with the veiled sadness of someone who knew that he was on the verge of losing something very dear to him but was making every attempt to deny it.

He danced his fingers playfully down Kylo’s chest. _“_ Now, where were we?”

_How can you still be in the mood?_

Kylo bit his lower lip, most definitely not in the mood.

Hux said, “It’s okay, My Love, I won’t let him take you. I will do everything in my power to keep you.”

Kylo was taken aback that Hux would make such a traitorous statement. 

_You wouldn’t dare defy the Supreme Leader, would you?_

Kylo said, “I don’t think there’s anything either of us can do.”

“Perhaps not, but I will try,” Hux said,  “You don’t think I would give you up that easily?”

_I don’t think you’re going to have a choice._

“Of course not, My Love, but he is the Supreme Leader and-”

“All that matters is that I still have you,” Hux said.

_Do you actually think you have tricked The Supreme Leader? Are you that delusional? Are you..._

Hux rubbed his hand between Kylo’s thighs and Kylo reflexively parted his legs.

_...are you…_

Kylo exhaled as his body flushed with excitement.

Hux had an inexplicable power over him. One touch drowned out everything else like immersion in a bacta tank, blurring the surroundings, encompassing him in a private world, clearing his mind, drawing his focus to the tantalizing skin to skin contact and the primal, involuntary reactions of his body.

His fingers dragged through copper hair as Hux kissed and caressed his chest and abdomen. A warm mouth on him. A held breath. His head fell back; he melted into the bedsheets. A slight scraping of teeth. His muscles tensed. Then, a tongue teased a begging entrance. A shiver. A sudden bite on his inner thigh. The scent of oil. The intrusion of a fingertip. A sensuous caress; a spike of pain; he moaned;

“...Please, My Love...”

Hux obliged, easing in slowly, making the smallest adjustments as if seeking a minutely precise position. It felt right. 

“This is what you need.”

“...yes…” Kylo muttered.

They moved together. Synchronized. Harmonious. As if designed and orchestrated.

Kylo rolled his hips with the long, smooth strokes, then bucked up as Hux slammed him with a few sharp thrusts. Pleasure and pain were so close to one another, not opposite ends of a spectrum, but notes in a melody.

Hux slowed again and Kylo flopped back down into the pillow, breathing a guttural sound, quivering as tingling bursts radiated from his core into his extremities.

“This is all you need!” Hux growled.

Kylo groaned and heaved.

“Yes!”

Hux quickened his pace, one hard stab after the another. Kylo cried out, impelling Hux to thrust faster.

“ ** _I_** am all you need!” Hux shouted.

“YES!” Kylo yelled.

The room flashed white as he climaxed. His vision blanked out. He must have swooned because the next thing he knew, Hux was inflicting a barrage of kisses on him. He blinked and tipped his head up to meet the next kiss. Hux came into focus, appearing to have a hazy halo around him.

Hux laughed, “I thought you passed out!”

Kylo closed his eyes and nestled into the comforter, the exhaustion of the past few days finally catching up to him. 

“I’m just tired,” he muttered.

Hux snuggled next to him, stroking his hair. “Poor thing. I'll let you sleep in as long as you want tomorrow.”

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

One of Snoke’s mysterious black-clad stormtroopers stood outside Hux’s door. Kylo wasn’t even out of bed yet. He felt like he hadn’t gotten more than an hour’s sleep. Apparently, Kylo’s trainers had arrived even before Hux had woken, gotten settled in their suites, and were now awaiting Kylo in one of the training rooms.

While Kylo got dressed, he overheard Hux arguing with the trooper.

"I wish to oversee the lesson."

“I’m very sorry, sir, but I have express orders, the Acolytes have requested utmost privacy-”

“I haven’t had a chance to properly welcome my guests. I’d at least like to make sure that their accommodations are satisfactory,” Hux said brusquely.

“That won’t be necessary.”

Hux was livid, although masked it very well with a stoical mien. But Kylo didn't even have to see him to know that Hux wanted to have this stormtrooper drawn and quartered. But Snoke’s elites answered only to Snoke. Not that they outranked Hux, but if he forced the trooper to violate Snoke’s orders, Hux risked demotion--or worse.

Hux scowled as Kylo left with the trooper.  

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

Training room 21-3 was one Kylo hadn’t been in before. It was larger than one he normally trained in with Phasma. It had polished floors, a computer console in one corner, and, the most surprising thing, a large bay window with a brilliant view of the stars. It seemed more like a conference room than a training room.

Two figures waited for him. They wore gray tunics with hints of red and they had gray skin with darker markings that could have been tattoos.

“Greetings, Initiate,” one of them said, her voice low and silky, “I am Obri Geilvta, this is Jehu, my brother. It is an honor to serve you.” They both bent forward in a half-bow.

Kylo awkwardly bowed in return.

“Come sit with us, please.” Obri gestured as she and Jehu sat cross-legged. Kylo joined them.

“Tell us what you know about the Force,” she said folding her hands in her lap.

Kylo emulated her posture. “It’s energy that exists in all living things,” he said.

Obri nodded. When Kylo said nothing further, she said, “Look out there, what do you see?”

Kylo gazed out the window, scanning the infinite starfield. “Stars.”

“What else?” She asked.

Looking again in case he had missed an approaching starship or asteroid, he shook his head, “There's nothing else.”

“What do you see between the stars?”

“I don’t see anything between them, just...empty space,” Kylo said.

“If you only see the light of the stars, you are ignoring most of what exists in the galaxy,” Jehu said.

Obri said, “When life is created, the Force gives it a shape, a destiny. Most people give in to this destiny, accept it as inevitable. However, those who wield the Dark-Side of the Force have the power to change that fate. Close your eyes, now, and focus on the space between the stars, the places where most people neglect to look.”

With his eyes closed, focusing on blackness seemed unavoidable.

“Imagine a tiny mote of dust floating in a cloud gathering above a tall mountain. As the air gets denser, specks of water want to join with it, forming a droplet. The droplet gets bigger, it starts to get heavy and then falls. As it falls, the cold air crystallizes it.” Obri’s words projected an image in Kylo’s mind: A snowflake forming, taking a faceted shape, floating down to land delicately on a field of white.

“Now, as the air warms, the snowflake melts, takes the shape of water again, and creeps downward, pulled by gravity, eventually joining a river. Every snowflake is created and dies in this way, in thrall to its composition and circumstances of its creation. Just as we are in thrall to the Force. But you--Kylo--you have the capacity to change the course of your destiny. Few people are blessed with this power and fewer still embrace it.”

The chain around Kylo’s neck suddenly felt ice cold. His eye flew open. A black mask stared at him inches from his face. A hand grasped his throat. He jerked away, falling on his back.

“Remove that,” the person behind the mask demanded with a voice that was as cold and hard as a frozen knife in the spine.

Too startled to say anything else, Kylo touched his throat and stammered, “W-What?”

The figure outstretched his hand and the necklace dropped from Kylo’s neck.

Obri picked it up, “You can have this back when we are done but do not wear it during your lessons.”

The figure in the mask, who Kylo only just then realized was Jehu, loomed closer. The mask had no recognizable facial features, only small, dark slits for eyes, but it emanated an energy as if it possessed a life of its own. Kylo couldn’t move, terrified, transfixed.

Jehu straightened and nodded to Obri who then ordered Kylo to stand.

After taking a few breaths to compose himself, Kylo rose.

In a flash, a blaster appeared in Jehu’s hand. Kylo drew his saber and dipped to the side just as the bolt cut across his cheek.

Obri said, “No, don't dodge it, control it.”

Kylo put space between him and Jehu.

Jehu fired again. Kylo deflected it into the wall with his saber.

Kylo felt like Jehu, or rather, Jehu’s mask, was staring into the pit of his very being. He felt nauseous and heavy, like a bag of stones had been dropped in his stomach. Jehu fired again; Kylo deflected it. Just as he had done in his confrontation with Mirra Ren, he trusted his saber, letting it guide his hand.

“You must be the one in control of the situation,” Obri said, “of _every_ situation. You need to take the initiative. Act! Don’t be like the droplet of water that can only react. Control your environment, don’t let the environment control you.”

A glimmer like a memory twitched in the back of his mind. A memory of a memory...of a dream, maybe. Kylo felt somewhere buried inside him that he could do just as she asked--that he had done precisely that before--but didn’t trust himself to know how.

After a few more deflected shots. Obri held up her hand, and Jehu lowered his blaster.

Obri said to Kylo, “What are you focusing on?”

“Avoiding the blaster bolts,” Kylo replied.

“Don’t focus on the bolts, focus on the space around the bolts.”

Kylo’s head swayed, “How do I focus on something that isn’t there?”

“By knowing that something _is_ there. Like the space between the stars,” Obri said.

“Darkness?” Kylo asked.

She nodded and smiled, “You are relying too much on your weapon, you will not need it for this test.”

After Kylo switched off his saber and clipped it to his belt, she pulled something out of a satchel. A mask.

Similar to Jehu’s, it had a more angular design and an engraving of red scrollwork around the visor.

“This belonged to a powerful Sith Lord. It is a very strong locus of Dark Side energy.” She held it out for him to take. He reached for it but it was as if he had to push against the air around it, like pushing two opposing magnets together. When he touched it, his hand instinctively flinched away. It was like ice.

“Don't be afraid, it will only hurt you if your will is weak,” she said.

“What will it do?” Kylo asked.

“It will show you the power of the Darkness,” Obri told him, “What you do with that knowledge will determine whether you will pass or fail this test. You can be corrupted by it. It could drive you insane. But only if you are weak. And if your will is not strong enough, then you do not deserve to be The Supreme Leader’s apprentice. But, he has sensed a strong will in you, and has every confidence that you will not fail.”

Kylo took the helmet from her. He thought he could feel a slight vibration, but it could have just been his own nerves. It made him feel uneasy. He didn’t want to hold it any longer, let alone put it on.

“It will show you things that have been hidden to you,” Obri said.

Kylo didn’t want to see those things. He knew they weren’t going to be good things. He didn’t want to put it on, but his hands lifted it over his face.

As darkness filled his field of vision, all pleasant thoughts bled from him as if gouged out with a thousand tiny claws. The holes filled with corrosive feelings of dread. More than dread--dismay, hopelessness.

He thought he heard whispering, babbling, very distant, incoherent. The feeling of dread subsided, and an energy surrounded him, imbuing him with a sense of power, invulnerability.

He couldn’t see very well out of the slit visor, but he didn't have to, he  _felt_ the room around him. He sensed Obri and Jehu, the computer console, the window, the void of space without, the blaster in Jehu’s hand, the bolt as it propelled from the barrel.

His perception of it didn’t come from any physical sense, not hearing, nor taste, nor sight. He simply  _knew_ it was there. Knew where it was coming from and knew where it was going. And he diverted it with a swipe of his hand. The bolt sparked as it hit the computer console.

“Control!” Obri said, “Don’t submit to the Force, seize it, wield it, exert your will over it!”

_Control. Control._

Another bolt, and another, a barrage. He flicked each one aside like shooing away buzzing insects. But his movements were reflex actions, not conscious decisions. One of the bolts flew back at Jehu, who jumped out of the way.

Power flowed through him like a raging current, lashing out in all direction like flailing tendrils. The more he tried to constrain it, the wilder it became.

_It’s too strong. I can’t control it!_

“Control your fear, Kylo,” Obri said, “Don’t focus on the danger. Focus on the goal. You’ll never have control without a clear goal.”

_My goal is to not die. My goal is to keep the bolts from hitting me. My goal is to avoid the danger. I have to focus on the danger._

The distant murmuring coalesced into more of a chanting.

_No. I have to see the space between me and the bolt._

A melodic singing.

_I have to nullify the danger, not be afraid of it._

Jehu fired. Kylo focused on the air around the bolt, compressing it into a solid block, freezing the bolt in mid-air. Then, before Jehu could fire again, he twisted the air around the blaster, yanking it from his hand and crushing it.

 

When Kylo removed the mask, it was as if something inside was stripped from him as well. He felt vulnerable, naked. The room, which he had been able to sense all around him, was now constrained to the limits of his eyesight.

Jehu took his mask off as well. “You did very well. The Supreme Leader’s confidence in you is not misplaced.”

Obri said, slipping the masks back into the satchel, “The mask and the saber are only instruments to help you better understand the Force. The Force is all around us, moving through us at every moment. You have access to its power anytime you wish.  My brother and I cannot manipulate the Force as you can, but through these objects, we can commune with the spirits of ancient Sith and channel their power. But you will discover in time that you do not need them.”

 

 

@~~~~~~~~~~@

 

 

Hux received an alert from the tracking signal in Kylo’s necklace that the necklace had been deactivated. He immediately went to training room 21-3. Snoke’s stormtrooper stood outside the door, refusing to let Hux enter.

“Apologies, but no one may interrupt the lesson.”

Hux was certain he heard blaster fire coming from behind the door. “Very well, but I would like to be informed when Kylo is done with his lesson,” Hux said coolly.

The trooper nodded.

 

 @~~~~~~~~~~@

 

Kylo was not expecting to find Hux waiting for him when he returned.

“How was your session?” Hux asked flatly.

“Fine,” Kylo responded, turning his head, hoping that Hux wouldn’t notice the blaster wound.

Hux noticed.

He reached up to touch Kylo’s cheek. “You’ll need bacta on that.”

“It’s fine,” Kylo said, brushing Hux’s hand away.

“No, it isn’t,” Hux said. He brought a jar of bacta from the refresher and started applying the salve. “What happened?”

“Just a blaster bolt,” Kylo said.

“Just?” Hux asked.

Kylo shrugged. He had fastened his jacket all the way up--of course he had, Hux wouldn’t abide a slovenly appearance while walking around the ship. But, because he had, the jacket collar concealed whether he still wore the chain or if it had been broken again.

“Snoke is using you,” Hux said.

Kylo lifted his brow slightly. _No kidding_.

“I know what Snoke wants from you.”

“You do?”

“I know that he wants you to control me,” Hux said.

“What?” That was not what Kylo expected to hear.

“I know about your abilities, don’t try to hide it anymore.”

“I don’t-” Kylo’s head shook, not from disagreement, more from confusion, but the gesture affronted Hux nonetheless and he slammed the bacta jar on the table.

“Your psychic abilities. He wants to mentally control me.”

“No, Hux-” Kylo said.

“Whatever he’s conspiring, you have to tell me,” Hux said, grasping him roughly by the arms.

Kylo said, “That’s not...I mean, if that’s his plan, he doesn’t need me. You said that he’s the most powerful being in the galaxy.”

“I have done some research into telepathy, it’s not effective at long distances,” Hux said.

“You have-”

“Don’t believe him, Kylo. Whatever he promised you. He will only give you the illusion of power. He wants to use me just as he wants to use you. We are all his pawns. He doesn’t care about the First Order.” Hux gripped him tighter. “But, I believe the First Order can become greater than the Empire. We are building a weapon. The Republic doesn’t think we are a threat, and construction has been gradual so we don't attract unwanted attention, but Snoke informed me that he would like to hasten the progress, which means that he’s planning something.

“This weapon can, and will, destroy the Republic and then we will be a force to be reckoned with. And when the galaxy bows to the First Order, I will be at the forefront, I will be the one the galaxy sees as its leader, not Snoke. So I need you to tell me everything he told you.”

“Hux, believe me, please. Why would he tell me anything?” Kylo said.

“That is the question I've been asking myself: Why would he entrust you with critical information?” Hux said.

“It's not what you're thinking.  It...it’s not about you,” Kylo said.

“If you’ve been coerced into acting as a spy, I forgive you, but you have to tell me what you know. He must have told you something!” Hux was almost shouting now, teetering on that fine line between insistent and infuriated.

Kylo tried to pull away backing into the side of the table. “He didn’t tell me anything!”

“You’re lying!”

Kylo tripped backward over the chair, falling and pulling Hux down with him.

Kylo felt his own anger rising and shouted back, “It has nothing to do with you! Snoke thinks I can use the Force, and if he intended to psychically control you, he sure didn’t tell me!”

“The Force?” Hux eased up, “You can use the Force and never told me?” he said, now more perplexed than angry.

“No,” Kylo said, “I can’t, I mean, I couldn’t...I don’t know if I can. Snoke insisted I could--and he told me not to tell you. But it has nothing to do with mind controlling you.”

 

@~~~~~~~~~~@

 

_Shit._

_The Force. Not just telepathy, but The Force. That’s even more valuable. Shit Shit Shit. Why didn’t I see it before? Because it’s infinitely unlikely, that’s why. Of course The Supreme Leader sensed it. I was hoping that if I stalled him enough, his interest would wane, but that is never going to happen._

Kylo had slipped out of his grasp and was getting up off the floor.

“I’m telling you the truth, Hux,” Kylo said, “Snoke hasn’t told me anything. I’m as much in the dark as you are.”

Hux hurriedly stood. “I will not allow the First Order to be compromised. The Supreme Leader is using both of us for his own gains. As long as it benefits the First Order, I am willing to tolerate it, but as soon as he tells you anything-- _anything_ \--you will tell me.”

“Yes, I’ll tell you,” Kylo said.

“You will never keep anything from me again,” Hux said, looking him square in the eyes.

Kylo couldn’t meet his gaze.

Hux put a gentle hand on Kylo’s cheek. “Is there anything else you want to tell me?”

“I swear, that’s all I know,” Kylo said.

Snoke was using and manipulating him, that was apparent, but it was also apparent that Kylo was an unwitting participant in Snoke’s scheme.

He would have to rethink his suspicion. Perhaps Snoke’s plan for Kylo really did not have anything to do with him or the First Order. Perhaps it was for some other, non-military gain. Perhaps a contingency plan in case of total failure of the First Order.

Regardless, now that he had found out about Kylo’s true power, he knew whatever Snoke wanted him for had something to do with the Force. Force users were rare, so Hux figured that Snoke took every opportunity to snatch them up whenever he could. He didn’t know how many Force-users Snoke had taken under his wing. Maybe hundreds. That was an unsettling thought.

But, there was no reason that Hux couldn’t use Kylo to his own advantage as well. He would have to do some research on Force abilities. He wasn’t sure if the inhibitor collar even worked on the Force. But he did know that the collar had been deactivated.

“I believe you,” Hux said, “But you understand why I mistrusted you.”

“I would never do anything to hurt or betray you,” Kylo said.

“You already betrayed me by not telling me about your power,” Hux said.

“I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you.” 

“That’s not good enough, Kylo,” Hux said. “I don’t know if I can trust you again.”

Kylo gave him a repentant look.

Hux wanted to see those infinite, innocent eyes he fell in love with--Ben’s eyes. But they weren’t there. Kylo’s eyes were shrouded, a dark veil masking whatever secrets lay behind.

 

@~~~~~~~~~~@

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy May the 4th!
> 
> I can't believe it's May. That means I've been working on this for six months. Amazing! I'm usually never this dedicated to anything, lol!
> 
> [ I am doing a 50 subscriber give-away on Tumblr.](https://slashedface.tumblr.com/post/159846010285/hello-lovelies-as-promised-here-is-my-50)
> 
>  I'm doing the drawing tomorrow, May 4th 2017. And I somehow got 50 more subscribers since I planned it, so I guess there'll be a 100 subscriber give-away soon. XD


	16. Enforcer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~@~~~~~  
> 
> 
> _You were right, My Love. I thought you were being ridiculous and paranoid. You were right not to trust Snoke. But if my suspicion is true, I am right not to trust you._
> 
> ~~~~~@~~~~~  
> 
> 
> Enforcer to Hux, Apprentice to Snoke, Kylo feels more trapped than ever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Warning: consensual sex, graphic violence.

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

“Then don’t trust me,” Kylo said and turned to walk away. He didn’t want to argue anymore.  

He went into the refresher--Hux followed.

“What? You don’t even trust me enough to take a shower alone?” Kylo unfastened his jacket and removed it with an irritated huff.

“I want to see if you have any more injuries. I don’t want you to get any scars,” Hux said.

“I don’t.”

“Oh, then what’s that?” Hux pointed to Kylo’s neck.

“What?” Kylo looked in the mirror. There was a red mark where his chain had been.

“What happened to your necklace?”

“Oh, uh...I...the acolytes, my trainers, Obri and Jehu, they didn’t want me to wear it during my training sessions.”

“They broke it?”

“No.” Kylo rubbed the red mark. “They removed it with the Force. I don’t think it’s broken.” He drew the chain from his pocket. He would have put it back on, but the clasp only operated for Hux. 

Hux took it from him and inspected it.

“Hmmm, you’re right, it’s not broken. But why won't they let you wear it?”

Kylo shrugged. He had a suspicion, though he wasn't sure how to confront Hux about it and now wasn't the time.

A look of skepticism flashed across Hux’s face. “Anyway, let me put some bacta on that,” he said and quickly retrieved the jar from the table.

He dabbed his fingers in the translucent goop and reached out to touch Kylo’s neck. Kylo jerked back, flashing to that ghastly masked figure as it clutched at his throat.

“No need to be so jumpy,” Hux said. “What were you doing in that training session anyway? How did you get this? It looks like a burn.”

Kylo closed his eyes and let Hux rub the bacta on his neck. “I don’t know. It must be a Force thing.”

“A Force thing?” Hux said. “I would hope that your training would at least involve explaining it to you a bit better than that.”

“It’s... difficult to explain, it’s better to, well, experience it,” Kylo said.

Hux said flippantly, “I see." 

 

After the red mark had faded, Hux clasped the chain back around Kylo’s neck.

“You’ll just have to take it off again. They won’t let me wear it,” Kylo said

Hux softly brushed the chain with a fingernail and said, “This not only represents my love for you, Kylo, it’s also a symbol of your devotion to me. He might get you for an hour a day, but the rest of the time, you’re still mine. Your loyalty to me comes first. Right?”

“Yes, My Love, it does, but-”

“Then there’s no problem, is there?”

Kylo sighed. Any argument he made would appear as defiance. Hux already distrusted him, and he didn’t want to push it any further. Perhaps placating him on this one little thing would go far to renew his faith in him. 

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

His Force lessons that week were less physical but no less stressful.

He grew to dread Obri’s mask. When he put it on, it felt like a thousand penetrating spikes as the darkness enveloped him--like he would never feel a joyful emotion ever again. Then, the Darkness would flow into him like a fierce torrent, filling him with a sense of power--strength in the Force flooding out the terror. And when the mask was removed, those dark spikes withdrew, leaving him only with a feeling of severe loss, emptiness, and vulnerability.

Obri said he was progressing quickly, however, and that they were going to start lessons without the mask very soon. But, for now, Kylo sat cross-legged, the oppressive thing drilling terrible thoughts into his head.

“Think of something you want,” Obri had said.

The only things coming into Kylo’s mind were visions of lopping off the heads of his captors on Kree (he’d found out that the three that had tortured him had lived and had been taken prisoner) and skewering everyone at that party in Lord Xorahhn’s palace with his saber. He shook those thoughts away.

“Something small--perhaps even intimate.”

He envisioned chaining Hux to his bed, making him squirm, stripping him, shaming him... _Nonono!_ He shook those thoughts away as well.

“Something simple. Something you could command someone in a few short words.”

Kylo’s hand went to his neck, feeling the spot where his chain would be. Hux had taken it off for him before the lesson, as he had begrudgingly done every day that past week. He would be waiting for Kylo when he returned to the room, just so that he could put it back on. He couldn’t stand that Kylo might have an iota of freedom for the slightest moment.

“See them clearly in your mind. Their will is yours to command.”

Kylo pictured Hux standing in front of him, he stared him down, so that, in his mental image, Hux shrank before him. _Trust Me._

“Command them!”

“Trust Me!” The mask warped his voice into something unnatural and monstrous.

“Make your thoughts their thoughts. They will never know the difference.” - Jehu’s voice now.

He saw into Hux’s mind, felt his mind shuttering, trying to keep him out. But he pushed his way in. Once in, he found it very easy to place the thought-- _Trust me_. “I trust you,” said the small construct of Hux he had created in his mind.

“This thought, this command, may or may not linger, and usually, the recipient will not think anything unusual about it afterward. You can put whatever thoughts you like into someone's head. Any commands or emotions, positive or negative.”

 

  _………………………………_

 

Kylo sat in the dark of Hux’s chamber, practicing his psychic suggestion lesson without Obri’s mask.

_Trust me._

He focused.

It was much more difficult without the mask. His mental image of child-sized Hux was foggy and fractured.

He focused.

His head hurt. All of him hurt. Even though all he had done that day was sit and concentrate on this one thing, he felt like he had been dragged through the mud during a hailstorm.

Obri had told him that wearing the mask too long or too often could prove detrimental. Now he was wondering why she had made him wear it for every lesson.

 _It must be a test. It was all a test._ _I survived that first lesson, but I can feel it...something--my will?-- being scraped away...eroded..._

_...don't think about that..._

_I must not let my mind wander. I must not let my will be taken over by fear. I must focus._

He focused.

Hux had not been in his quarters when Kylo returned from his lesson. Surprised, Kylo wondered if his mental projection had worked. Obri said that the psychic suggestion was only temporary, so Kylo kept concentrating on sending Hux the thought: _Trust me._

_You were right, My Love. I thought you were being ridiculous and paranoid. You were right not to trust Snoke. But if my suspicion is true, I am right not to trust you._

_If my suspicion is true: you will trust me._

_Trust me._

**_Trust me._ **

 

_………………………………_

 

 

Hux came in several hours later with a droid in tow.

Kylo greeted him with a kiss. “Hello, My Love.”

“Sorry I am a bit late,” Hux said. “But, ah-”

The droid set two large cases down and opened them.

“-I’ve been thinking about it, and I may have been a little harsh. I don't know what Snoke is up to, but I shouldn't have accused you the way I did. Will you let me make it up to you?”

It took Kylo a moment to recognize what was inside the cases--the clothing Hux had bought him on Coruscant.

As the droid began to unpack, Kylo said, “I don’t want it.”

“Which, sir?” The droid asked.

“Any of it,” Kylo said. None of it looked right. It was all too flamboyant and gaudy. “My Love, I’d like some new clothes.”

“Of course,” Hux said as if he completely agreed and was actually quite relieved that Kylo no longer wanted the garish outfits, but he also seemed irritated that Kylo didn’t appreciate his good-will offering. “Fortunately, I have business on Chandrila in a few days, I’ll take you with me. They have some very nice marketplaces, matching even those on Coruscant. I’ll get you whatever you like.”

Kylo kissed him again. “Thank you, My Love.

His psychic suggestion seemed work. Otherwise, it was a perfect coincidence. Hux didn’t exactly say that he trusted him, but he had apologized for his accusation. 

He had done it before, on Coruscant, gone into Hux's mind--but that time, purely by accident. After that, Hux made him wear that collar. But even when he nearly passed out every time they made love, he still didn’t make the connection.  He hadn’t put two and two together until Obri and Jehu had forcibly removed it and insisted that he not wear it during his Force lessons. And when Hux accused him of trying to psychically control him, he knew his suspicion was right.

Now, to test it.

 

He distracted Hux all evening, kissing him and asking for small things: new clothes, mushrooms for dinner, Corellian folk music to listen to--which Hux said was anti-Imperial, so played a Gacerite dirge opera instead (It made Hux teary-eyed). And, as Kylo hoped, he forgot to replace his chain.

He distracted him further by fondling Hux through his pants, then unzipping his fly and licking a drop of glistening pre-cum. Hux nearly melted in his chair.

Kylo pulled Hux’s trousers off, divested himself of clothing and playfully led Hux to the bed.

“I’m sorry, My Love, I didn’t ask to be Snoke’s apprentice,” Kylo said as Hux slipped next to him.

“I know,” Hux said, kissing his shoulder.

“I don’t like these lessons, they make me feel awful, and...think awful things.”

“I’ll make you feel good,” Hux said sympathetically.

“Please.” Kylo’s eyes fluttered as Hux stroked his cheek where his blaster wound had been--now completely healed and imperceptible.

Hux smiled. He relished the moments when Kylo would beseech him--he wanted Kylo to need him. And, as much as Kylo hated to admit it, he did need Hux. He needed a soft, warm body pressing against him and affectionate kisses and soft touches.

He shuddered. "Uuhhhnn..." That first slick finger pushed and wiggled in--it was always a strange intrusion, but so amazingly sensual.  

Hux shifted Kylo to his knees and entered him from behind. 

Kylo carefully reached out in the Force into Hux's mind like dipping a toe in water. Testing it. He received no pushback so went in a bit more. 

Hux loved him. He felt it. It was a twisted version of love--fervent, possessive, passionate, obsessive--but it was the closest thing Hux knew to love. Kylo felt a degree of pity for him. He had probably never received any kind of affection as a child, and the only way he knew how to love something, or someone, was to take it by force and subdue it.

_Slowly, please._

Kylo dropped to his elbows, arching back into Hux, matching his rhythmic motions, tilting his head as Hux bit and nibbled his ear and neck. Each undulation sent a trembling euphoria up his spine, his mind and body awash with warmth and contentment. All thoughts, worries, anxieties evaporating. All the pits and bores left by the Darkness of that mask filled with passion and love.

_Slower._

Hux, usually intense and heated in his lovemaking, took his time. Slow. Passionate. They made love for a long time--longer than they ever had before. When Hux would get close, he would slow and rub Kylo’s back or change positions.  After a while, they were on their sides, Kylo hugging Hux's arms to his chest. The gentle rocking nearly lulled Kylo to sleep.

_I want to be here with you forever, My Love._

“I want you here forever,” he heard Hux whisper.

_How did I mess up so badly?_

“You didn’t. It was my fault. I should never have let you out. I should have kept you safe.”

_I didn’t want to be safe._

“Everyone wants to be safe.”

_Then I wanted the freedom to choose whether to be safe._

“Freedom is life’s greatest lie.”

_I guess you’re right. We’re all slaves to somebody._

“I didn’t mean it like that. I meant freedom is futility, scraping to survive. Isn’t it better to have someone to take care of you? To want for nothing?”

 

No, he wasn’t whispering, Kylo felt Hux inside him--speaking directly to his mind.

 

“Remember this, My Love. When you are cold and alone, remember I love you, I will take care of you. He wants nothing more than to hurt you and use you until you break. When you feel forsaken and lost, remember that you can always come back to me.”

 

 

They had a phenomenal night of lovemaking.

 

But, the week following, Hux was even more paranoid about making Kylo wear the chain. He hadn't accused Kylo of violating his mind, however, almost as if he wasn't certain himself.

 

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

Snoke requested Kylo's presence in the hologram chamber, as he had stipulated, two weeks after his lessons began. Kylo went alone, no black-armored stormtrooper came to escort him.

Obri and Jehu were standing at the foot of the dais when he entered, the faint light dripping down from high in the chamber cast a ghostly pallor to their already gray skin. They nodded a greeting.

Snoke’s image appeared.

Kylo didn't think he would ever get used to the scratching cold that would ripple through him while in Snoke’s presence.

Snoke exchanged some words with the Acolytes in a deep, hissing language.

He studied Kylo. “Tell me, My Apprentice, how are your lessons?”

Kylo swallowed, “Very difficult, Supreme Leader.”

“Good.” Snoke rubbed his fingers in contemplation. “The Acolytes are devout servants of the Force and the Dark Side, I would expect no less. But, bear in mind, it will not get easier. You have to be focused and determined at all times--never waver, never lose your attentiveness to the Force.”

“I will try.”

“No. You cannot accept failure as an option.”

“Yes…” Kylo had to remind himself of the honorific, “...Master.”

“Do not acquiesce half-heartedly. There is great power in the Dark Side, and, as you have experienced, it can dominate your actions. Unleashed power is dangerous. I do not say this lightly: You have exceptional potential in the Force, but I warn you not to let it consume you. If you cannot learn control, the Dark Side will devastate you, leave you a crumbling husk. You should feel lucky that I took notice of you and graciously offered to mentor you, otherwise, it would have swallowed you whole."

 

 ~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

“Kylo! Stop!” Hux was shouting. “Stop now!”

Kylo snapped back to reality. Or to the corporeal reality. He was kneeling on someone’s neck, his saber poised inches above their forehead as if preparing to jab it through their skull.

_Damn!_

He had just been somewhere else. Or...someone else. In someone else’s body--or in no body at all--Floating.

_Where am I?_

He looked around, he was in a windowless room, a storehouse, lit by a single lamp hanging from the ceiling, a group of people had been gathered in the middle surrounded by stormtroopers. 

_I'm on a mission with General Hux. They are hiding radicals here. Insurgents. This person knows where they are. If I kill him, we won’t get the information._

Kylo stood, holding the green-skinned man by the throat.

_No, I wasn’t trying to kill him...What was I doing?_

“Kylo, release him. He can’t speak when you’re crushing his windpipe,” Hux said, regaining his composure quickly.

_Oh, I remember..._

“Hux, this isn’t the time to argue, but please take my collar off,” Kylo said.

“What?” Hux said as if he didn’t know what Kylo was talking about.

“Please! Take it off!”

“Kylo, you will obey me, now let him go!” Hux said firmly, his eyes flicking to the stormtroopers flanking him and civilians huddled in the center of the room that they had their blasters trained on.

“Do you want to get the information or not?” Kylo said, the twi’lek dangling in his hand.

“Release him, I’m not going to ask again,” Hux said.

Kylo dropped the twi’lek.  
Hux gave Kylo a piercing glare before approaching one of the civilians, a female torgruta, and casually put his blaster barrel to her head.

Hux said to the twi’lek, who was panting and coughing on the floor, “Okay, tell me where the Resistance insurgents are hiding or I will execute everyone here.”

The twi’lek coughed and sobbed, “I don’t know where they are, please.”

Hux fired. The torgruta dropped. The twi’lek screamed. The hostages were too shocked to do anything but cry out or gasp horrified and huddle closer together.

Hux approached a blue skinned youth, grabbing him by one of his head tails, and held the blaster to his temple. He looked at the twi’lek at Kylo’s feet then fired without saying a word.

“No!” The twi’lek screamed.

“Hux!” Kylo shouted, grasping the chain around his neck and twisting it until it snapped. He knelt and held his hand over the twi’lek, holding him down with the Force.

“Tell me where they are,” Kylo demanded.

The twi’lek cried, “I-I don’t know, you fucking bastards!”

Kylo, now free of the collar, reached into the twi’lek’s mind with ease and quickly discovered that he, indeed, did not know the location of the hidden insurgents.

“He doesn’t know,” Kylo said. He stood and walked over to the civilians. He scanned the group. Their emotions glowed like flowers in a field: fear, fear, fear, fear...guilt. “That one,” Kylo pointed to a human male, “He knows.”

The man shuddered, fell to his knees, and started bawling. Kylo hovered his hand over him, sensing his loudest thoughts: _the bunker, I couldn’t warn them in time, it’s my fault, we’re all going to die because of me!_

Kylo pushed the cluttering emotion out of the way and pinpointed the bunker’s location: two klicks south, underground, concealed. He saw the entrance clearly and a hidden panel in a nearby wall that opened it. He withdrew from the man’s mind.

“I have the location,” Kylo said.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Go! Capture them if you can, kill them if you must,” Hux commanded.

Kylo led the stormtroopers out of the building and to the covert bunker. He located the panel hidden in the wall of a nearby building and opened the door.

As a hatch lifted in the stone street, several blaster shots flew out. The stormtroopers immediately returned fire. The insurgents were trapped and their only chance was to fight with all they had. But they were no match for Hux’s expertly trained troopers and were quickly subdued.

They were able to capture about a dozen who would be taken back to _The Finalizer_ tobe interrogated. All data files confiscated from the bunker would be thoroughly examined to see if they contained any useful intel. The bunker itself seemed to be nothing more than a safe house and not any base of operations. The chance that they would get any useful information about the faction was slim, but Hux was convinced that there was a larger organization involved funding the insurgents: The Republic.

Kylo didn't participate in the massacre. But he could feel the fear and desperation. It energized him--and that distressed him. He had to hold himself back from raging into the fray--as he had done on Kree. Keeping control over the Force at this close proximity to the storm of death and suffering took all his concentration. 

His Force lessons were the only time Hux allowed his collar to be removed, mainly because his trainers would remove it regardless. So Kylo, not having enough practice or control of the Force, often found that it overwhelmed him if he wasn’t fully focusing on constraining it. In the stress of the moment back in the storehouse, he had inadvertently tried to use it on that twi’lek while interrogating him. But, because he had been wearing the inhibitor collar, he had ‘blanked out’ again.

When it was over, he made his way back to Hux's shuttle. He was shaking, tears burned his cheeks. He was so angry at Hux, he could have smashed his head into the fuselage of his shuttle. He breathed deep and tried to walk with cool assurance, trying to trounce any thought of assaulting Hux. 

Hux stood at the top of the shuttle’s gangplank waiting for Kylo. Kylo started to walk past him, but Hux held out his hand to stop him.

“Why did you defy me?” Hux asked, holding out the broken chain. He had apparently taken the time to pick it up from where Kylo dropped it.

“I got the location,” Kylo said defiantly.

“Never undermine me again.”

_You're just pissed that my method was more effective._

“You didn’t have to kill those people,” Kylo said.

“How dare you question my methods,” Hux snarled.

“You said that I would be useful for the First Order. I don't understand why you won't let me use my Force abilities,” Kylo said.

“Understand this: You are my property, and as such you are the property of The First Order, and I will decide the best way to employ your skills,” Hux said, clenching his fist around the chain.

_You want to hit me, go ahead._

While Hux had done awful things to Kylo, he had never hit him. Kylo knew that Hux regretted any time he ever made a mark on him. He knew that Hux hated seeing even the smallest bruises or scrapes on his pristine skin.

_Hit me, make a nice big bruise on your lovely property. Better yet, hit me with your blaster, make a gash._

“Don't try to get in my head, Kylo,” Hux warned. 

Kylo had not intended to invade Hux’s mind--the Force was taking control--and he backed off.

“And you wonder why I make you wear this. Without it, you’re out of control. The Dark Side makes people insane,” Hux scoffed, “You should be thanking me.”

_I knew it!_

He hadn’t confronted Hux about the collar until now, and Hux must have been caught off-guard because, in his eagerness to put Kylo in his place, he confessed its true purpose was to strangle Kylo's power. 

_Why though? Are you really that paranoid? Are you really that afraid of me? Are you really that insecure about your authority?_

_Or maybe you think that if I fail enough, Snoke will want nothing to do with me. It's more likely that he'll kill me than abandon me to you._

Hux continued to block the shuttle entryway. He rolled the chain in his hand. He seemed even angrier that he revealed his artifice. He probably thought that Kylo manipulated him into doing it. 

Kylo skimmed his thoughts as lightly as possible:

**Stay out stay out stay out stay out**

Kylo glanced into the shuttle--the pilot did not appear to be paying them any attention, but to give Hux the gratification, he relented, “I apologize for my insolence--I am ready to accept punishment.”

Hux smirked, “Well, to begin with, you’ll be returning to _The Finalizer_ on the troop transport.” He smacked the control panel and the ramp started to retract, forcing Kylo leap off before it closed.

 

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should stop saying that I will have timely updates because something will inevitably happen to prevent it. XD


	17. No Good Deed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> _You're as cruel as ever, aren't you, My Love? I thought perhaps that getting to keep me a while longer would make you a bit more compassionate. But, no._
> 
> ~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@ 

 

 

He looked away— it didn't do any good.

It took all of his focus and effort to block the irruption of emotions he felt in the close quarters. The transport shuttle, designed to hold twenty troopers efficiently, now contained seven additional bodies—himself and six captives.

An unsettling disdain for their prisoners hummed through the stormtroopers like they had a hive mind. They didn’t consider them people, not hesitating to strike them with the butt of a rifle or a shock baton if they moved even an inch — as if they had the ability and means to fight back in any way.

The prisoners shot Kylo barbed glances. He felt their hate twisting into him, tighter and tighter. They blamed him—not unjustifiably so—but they didn’t actually know that he had extracted their secret location from the mind of their ally. They singled him out because his maskless, human face stood out in a mass of identically helmeted automatons. Their hatred twisted into him so finely he couldn't separate it from his own hatred for himself.

He looked away and clenched his fists.

_I’m not one of them._

But the Darkness muttered to him—an incessant, intrusive thrumming, angry and insistent. Their hatred of him was fuel for his power—he knew it. Hux was right; if the Dark Side always felt like this, he would go insane. The Dark thrived on hate and suffering; it spoke—demanded— _kill them hurt them drink their pain_ and he fought the urge to do further harm to them to slake its craving.

He looked away

— Their friends were dead because of him.

More of them would be dead.

That’s not an excuse—

it didn’t do any good.

_No, I’m worse…_

 

Hux’s shuttle had already arrived when the trooper transport docked, and he was nowhere to be seen. Kylo didn’t care to see him just then, anyway.

As the prisoners were led away, one of them, a young woman, turned to look at him. It wasn’t a hateful or accusatory look, but almost pleading as if she knew he had the power to save them if he wanted to.

He could save her;

he didn’t;

he looked away.

 

Captain Phasma, who had just exited the second transport ship, came up behind him and clapped him on the shoulder, making him jump.

“My apologies, sir!” Phasma said. “I wanted to congratulate you on a job well done.”

_A job well done? We were only supposed to take prisoners, not massacre them._

“I...uh...thanks, but I don’t know if…” Kylo said.

“Is everything alright, sir?”

Kylo glanced at the prisoners being taken off Phasma’s ship without making eye-contact.

Phasma said, “My troops are going to be celebrating tonight and you’re welcome to join us.”

“I don’t know if there’s anything to celebrate.”

“It was not as great a victory as we had on Kree, but it’s important to keep morale high.”

“Kree? That was different.” Kylo shook his head, anger rising from the memory. “They shot down our ship, captured us-”

“We were unprepared for their attack. It was a foolish error— and a harsh lesson. We cannot make that kind of error again,” Phasma said.

“But, these...insurgents, they didn’t do anything to us— I mean, to the First Order. They aren’t even big enough to be a threat.”

“They may seem like a small, insignificant group, but we have to quell them before they become a real threat,” Phasma said, “Peace doesn’t come without vigilance and if we have to make the first move, we will. In the end, we save more lives by preventing a war.”

_This isn’t going to prevent a war, this is going to provoke a war._

Kylo gave her a weak smile. “I don’t think I’m feeling up for drinks tonight, Phasma. Thank you, though.”

“As you like, but unwinding a bit would do you some good.”

“Maybe later.”  Kylo felt less like unwinding and more like bashing his head into a wall—the only thing that could ease his mind would be a concussion.

 As he headed to Hux’s quarters, an officer quickly approached him from a side corridor.

“Sir?” The officer said.

“Yes?” Kylo replied, although he already knew what the officer was going to tell him.

“General Hux wishes to see you on the bridge."

Indeed, Hux had sent him a notification while en route, which Kylo had chosen to ignore, but if he was sending a runner to find him, it must be something more significant than additional scolding. Kylo didn’t want to see him regardless of the reason.

“Thank you,” Kylo said, continuing in the direction he had been going.

“Uh..Sir?”

“Yes?”

“The bridge...it’s this way.”

“Of course,” Kylo said. So much for postponing the inevitable.

 

Hux faced the wall-sized window, hands clasped behind his back, gazing contemplatively into the infinite starfield. A few of the officers’ heads turned, giving disapproving looks and muttering under their breaths as Kylo approached the general. Even when they turned back to their consoles, he could sense their thoughts, thorny and contemptuous—they thought of him as the general's pet. And why wouldn't they? The only other times he'd been on the bridge, Hux had been guiding him around by the arm. They felt that he didn’t deserve to wear an officer’s uniform, let alone march onto the bridge without permission.

Kylo strode past them.

“You know, Kylo,” Hux said with false cordiality, “you're mandated to request permission before coming onto the bridge.”

“You asked to see me, I assumed that was permission enough.”

“I don’t appreciate your tone,” Hux said in a low voice so that the officers nearby wouldn’t hear. “But, let’s continue this conversation in my office.”

 Once they had the privacy of his office, the general said, “Since you seem to be adept at that sort of thing, I thought you could assist me in interrogating the prisoners.”

“They don’t know anything, I read their minds on the shuttle,” Kylo said without hesitation, although he had spent the entire trip trying to barricade himself against their thoughts.

“Are you sure about that?” Hux asked.

“Yes,” Kylo said.

“Well, that was only half of them,” Hux smirked. “Don't worry, you won't have to do anything _too_ violent." He took a small box from his desk. “I have a gift for you.”

Kylo looked at him, puzzled. Hux thrust the box into his hands. Guarded, Kylo lifted the lid — his necklace—

“You repaired it?”

“I merely removed the broken link—allow me.” Hux looped it around Kylo’s neck and it clicked closed, slightly tighter than before. “It’s deactivated. You can wear it during your lessons now. You’ll never have to take it off again.” His chipper tone did little to conceal a perverse air of superiority.

“Oh...uh...thank you,” Kylo said, knowing that Hux wouldn’t just forgive him that easily.

“However, I still need to discipline you. You are getting off easy—if any of my subordinates refused orders as you did I would shoot them immediately. At the very least, I should forbid you from accompanying me on any further missions.”

That was hardly a punishment — Kylo didn’t want to go on any more missions, not if he had to bear witness to the murder of innocent people or, worse yet, kill innocent people himself.

A sly smile crossed Hux’s face. “But then how will you learn? I’m supposed to be providing you first-hand combat training.”

From the top drawer of his desk, he produced a smooth metal band with a hinge — like a shackle.

_Oh no, you wouldn't...would you?_

“You won’t be able to break this."

_...you would..._

Hux closed the band around Kylo’s neck-- it constricted uncomfortably without inhibiting breathing.

_You're as cruel as ever, aren't you, My Love?  I thought perhaps that getting to keep me a while longer would make you a bit more compassionate. But, no._

Hux stroked Kylo behind his ear. “You’ll get used to it.” Then gave him a pat on the shoulder. “That is all, you may go. I'll notify you when I'm ready to do the interrogations.”

Kylo stood there, mortified. The high collar of his uniform jacket only partially covered the appalling thing. People would certainly notice it.

“I dismissed you. You may go.” Hux said.

“When do you plan to do the interrogations?” Kylo asked.

“I wanted to review the data files we confiscated to give us a better understanding of what we’re dealing with, so-”

“May I remain here until then?”

“No, you may return to my quarters. I’ll send someone when I require you.”

 

Kylo walked to Hux’s chamber with as much dignity as he could manage, looking straight ahead, not even gracing the officers and troopers he passed in the hallways with a fleeting glance.

 

In the safety of Hux’s chamber, Kylo looked at the collar in the mirror. He ran his fingers along the smooth, dull metal. 

_You are the cruelest person, My Love. This might be the cruelest thing yet. I'm sorry I disobeyed you. I'm sorry I tried to get closer to you through the Force. Affection is all you ever wanted from me. But don't you want more than that? You push me away when I want to understand you better. Are you afraid of having a real connection with another person?_

 

 _— Beep_ — message from General Hux: A droid will arrive with more appropriate garments.

_Appropriate for what? Interrogation?_

A droid arrived with a black tunic-style garment with long sleeves and a high neck. It concealed his collar well but the heavy canvas was so stiff, it would certainly restrict his movement in combat. After the droid left, Kylo tossed off the tunic and flopped on the bed in his underclothes to wait until Hux summoned him.

It was quiet. But the quiet was not peaceful. The absence of the emotional thrumming that had been in his head on the shuttle left a piercing silence nearly as agonizing as that cacophony of thoughts had been. Rather than a burden lifted, it felt like something missing, torn out,

hollow…

vacuous…

empty.

…

quiet.

 

 

An officer came to fetch Kylo a few hours later. Kylo unhurriedly dressed and followed the officer to a part of the ship he had never been to before— the prison block.

 

He met Hux waiting in front of the cell block door.

“Ah yes. That is very imposing. It will do nicely,” Hux admired Kylo's new attire.

The guard let them in and the two walked down the corridor to one of the cells.

“Let me...” Hux removed the inhibitor collar before opening the cell door.

Kylo gasped— hate, fear, and despair of the prisoners hidden behind many walls rushed into him, filling the emotional void, an unstoppable current, cold and biting —

and stimulating.

“There now, let's see if you can follow orders this time. I’ll ask the questions. Your job is to tell me if he’s lying.” 

An unconscious man lay shackled to an inclined metal platform. Blood dripped from a gash on his forehead and trickled from his mouth.

Hux selected a pronged baton from a rack of brutal-looking implements and jabbed the prisoner with it. The man jolted, wailing in pain, as the blue energy crackled around him, then fell back hard against the platform.

“Have a good nap?” Hux said.

The prisoner groaned an insult. Hux hit him with the baton again.

“Manners,” Hux reprimanded. “You're speaking to a high-ranking officer of the First Order.”

Blood dripped down the man’s chin. “The First Order... is nothing but a pathetic attempt to revive the rotting bones of the failed Empire. You...I've heard of you. You're that Imperial admiral’s bastard son, yeah, the one he's embarrassed by.”

Hux squared his shoulders and aimed the baton at the man's genitals. “You're part of a criminal alliance—where is its base of operations?”

The man grimaced, “You're the criminals. You raided an emergency shelter. Killed civilians.”

Hux turned to Kylo expectantly. Kylo had been exerting his energy tempering the onrush of emotions coming from the other prisoners in the cell block and had barely been paying attention to the two people in the room.  

He raised his hand to the prisoner’s head to help him focus and, surprisingly, drew a clear image from his mind: lush green trees, ancient buildings...a place that seemed familiar...a place Kylo had seen before... as a child.

Hux was right. The Republic was secretly funding a militant organization.  However, they had no army, few trained soldiers and only a handful of older starfighters. Currently, it posed no threat to the First Order. They could swoop in with half a dozen TIE fighters and obliterate the base within a matter of minutes.

The prisoner's mask of defiance dissolved. He knew as well as Kylo that the Force user held his fate, and the fates of his friends, in his hand.

Kylo’s hand wavered. He saw the founder of this organization, his mother--Ben’s mother—Senator Leia Organa. Shaken, he stepped back.

He hadn’t seen his mother in years and could hardly believe she would be a part of such an organization. Maybe the vision was false. Maybe the Force lied. Maybe the prisoner had been taught to resist mental probing and had projected a deceptive image. But how would he know of that hidden base, the one that the old Rebel Alliance had used, and how would he know Ben’s mother? No. It had to be true.  

“There’s nothing,” Kylo said.

“What do you mean ‘nothing’?” Hux demanded.

“He’s not part of any criminal group, and if there is such a group, he doesn’t know anything about it.”

“Impossible. Our intel pinpointed the location of their hidden safehouse. Clearly, something devious was going on there.”

“Your intel is faulty,” Kylo said. “The bunker we raided was an emergency shelter, nothing more.”

“Very well, Kylo, have it your way,” Hux said. He opened the cell door and pushed Kylo into the hallway, slapping the collar around his neck. “Useless! Or you’re lying to me. Either way, there seems to be no reason to take this off.”  

As they left the cell block, Hux called Phasma on his comm, “Captain, send a level 7 specialist to cell block 12-F. The detainees won’t respond to polite dialogue but they will respond to torture, I guarantee it.” Then he grabbed Kylo by the arm and towed him to his chamber.

 

~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~

 

Hux fumed wordlessly for a minute.

 _What am I going to do with you? What can I do? The Supreme Leader wants you, and I can’t let him take you. I have to make you less desirable to him. But how? Remove a hand, an eye? Perhaps both hands? Force users need their hands, I’m pretty sure._ _Will the Force still work with artificial hands? It's inside living tissue, right? So I would think not._

Hux visualized Kylo with robotic hands and decided he could tolerate it. But he would prefer another way. Kylo’s eyes were too beautiful to mar. Legs? No, he had read about a Force-user that had robotic legs.

There had to be a means of impairing him in a way that would make him unfavorable to Snoke but not destroy his physical attractiveness. 

_Something phycological, perhaps. Yes. Insecurity. Force impotence. Force users must have resolve and focus. I haven’t been provoking you enough, addling you enough. I’ve given you too much freedom, too much self-confidence. You’ve gotten far too insolent. And that’s my fault. I’ve got to pull you back in line._

“I don’t know what Snoke or those Acolytes have been telling you, but you are still on my ship and under my command. Don’t think you can continue this defiance. Don’t think you’ll keep getting off with a slap on the wrist.”

“I’m sorry, My Love-”

“No, insincere apologies aren’t going to work this time. I have been lenient and patient to the extent that it’s affecting my reputation. Don’t think I’m averse to disciplining you properly. I would prefer to avoid it, but...” Hux sighed, distracted by Kylo shedding his tunic like a snakeskin.

He slipped his hand under Kylo’s undershirt, stroking his chest; his fingers danced on the light layer of dust on his skin — still dirty from being planetside.

“You haven’t showered,” Hux said. “You know I despise filthiness. Do you expect me to let you into my bed like that?”

“No, I was about to-” Kylo said and started to pull away.

Hux smiled, pulling him closer, “I’ll make an exception this once since I haven’t showered, either.”

_Yes, insecurity. I can’t let you become complacent. You need to be reminded that I can take whatever I want from you anytime I wish._

Hux slipped off Kylo’s shirt. Then slid his hand into Kylo’s pants. Kylo shuddered.

_Never forget that you are mine. I can give you pleasure ..._

Hux kissed him fiercely while working his balls and cock. He led him to the bed and Kylo toppled onto the crinkled sheets and bedspread. Hux jerked Kylo’s pants off and brought him to full hardness with his mouth. The smell and taste of sweat and that filthy planet aroused him more than he anticipated.

_And I can give you pain._

He scraped his teeth.

“Ahh!” 

Hux spread Kylo’s legs and explored Kylo with his tongue. Kylo moaned, clutching the sheets. Hux lifted his head to see his face flush.  “You’re such a sensitive thing.” He nipped Kylo’s inner thigh, making him twitch.

“I can make you tremble just by doing this...” He scraped his nails down Kylo’s lower belly—  “The smallest thing makes you cry out.”  — between his legs —  

“Ah!”

He rubbed himself with the lubricating oil and used two fingers to anoint Kylo, gliding them into his ass, turning them slowly, and sliding them out again. He repeated until he could fit three fingers.

Crawling up to look Kylo in the eyes, he nudged teasingly with his cock. Kylo held his breath. Hux put his hand on Kylo’s chest, feeling his racing heartbeat.

“The anticipation is exciting, isn’t it? Painful, almost. But, don’t worry, I won’t deny you for long. I just want you to beg for it.”

Kylo pressed his eyes closed and whispered in a barely audible breath, “Please, My Love.”

Hux grabbed Kylo’s hair and wrenched his head back. “Look at me!”

Kylo’s eyes fluttered stubbornly before opening.

“I know you got into my head. Don’t act like you don’t deserve this. You need to know your place. I hate when you force me to hurt you— ** _I hate it_**. But I give you everything and you throw it in my face. I love you; I want to protect you. But I need to protect myself, too.”

“M-my Lov- Fuuuck!”

Hux slammed into him, his tight asshole enveloping his cock, hot and silky. He shivered-- it felt like magic. As he began thrusting, Kylo bucked up to intensify his own pleasure, wrapping his arms around him.

“This is how it should be, My Love,” Hux said. “Isn’t it better when you don’t fight me? You’re dangerous if left unchecked. Even to yourself. You need discipline--you crave it. You're reckless. You need guidance. You need _me_. You know you need me.”

Kylo panted, “Yes, yes, I-ah!-need you!”

Hux growled, “Ah! That’s it. Say it again!”

“I need you, My Love!” Kylo’s eyes glistened as tears began streaming down his cheeks. “I need you…”

His hand brushed Kylo’s collar. He wished that he could fling it off, fully experience Kylo’s pulse beneath his fingers. He couldn’t, though. That would prove that Kylo didn’t need mind control to manipulate him.

_If you had done as I ordered, you wouldn't have to wear this._

Hux hitched up Kylo’s knees, hammering faster and deeper. Kylo squirmed, grasping headboard to brace himself, his erection throbbing and swaying divinely.

“You’re so beautiful!” Hux stroked the magnificent red shaft.  “Mmmmm, yes. Give yourself to me.”

Kylo cried out, clawing the mattress, pumping into Hux’s hand.

Hux dropped onto Kylo’s chest, breathing hard, sweat beading on his skin, grinding feverishly into him.

“I love it.”

Kylo shook and quivered, clenching around his cock as the wave ecstasy reached its peak. Close, so close! Not yet! Not yet!

“But do you know what I love more?”  He said, slowing his pace so that he would climax at just the right moment,  “Knowing that those loathsome criminals are suffering unspeakable agony at this very moment …” punctuating his words by pounding deeper with each one, “Because. Of. You!”

“No!” Kylo bellowed.  

“Yes! Yes!” Hux released into him, crushing his mouth against his in a frenzy of tongue and teeth.

A warm, bright sensation washed over him and he wished he could bask in the afterglow—so it nearly crushed him to do what he did next. But it had to be done. Kylo had to learn.

Before he changed his mind, he tore the bedclothes off and Kylo, too shocked to respond, came with them, tumbling to the floor.

“You think you have some moral high-ground? By refusing to hurt one person, you are killing hundreds. That makes you just as guilty as they are.” Hux grabbed him and flung him in the direction of the door. Kylo stumbled, having been fucked so thoroughly he couldn’t walk straight. He snatched the dirty sheet as Hux herded him to the door.

“Hux, My Love, what’re…” Kylo stammered.

Hux opened the door, exposing Kylo’s bare ass to whoever was in the vicinity. He gave a sharp nod, stepping close enough that Kylo had to step back into the corridor.

“Goodnight, My Love,” Hux said as the door shut.

 

~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~

 

 

“Hux!” Kylo shouted, “I’m sorry. Please.”

No response. 

He banged on the door, but he knew it was futile. He wrapped the sheet around him and went to the only place he could think of to go, Captain Phasma’s quarters. He avoided the more commonly used corridors, but he inevitably encountered patrolling troopers and a few officers. He couldn’t pretend dignity and didn’t even try. Of course, the officers gave him disgusted looks, but the stormtroopers acted as if he wasn’t even there, probably on orders.

_I don’t know how this doesn’t reflect badly on your reputation, Hux, My Love. You refused to let me out of the room without fastening my jacket all the way to the collar, so I don’t know what you’re you’re trying to prove with this. Not that I care what any of these people think._

He rapped lightly on Phasma’s door, hoping she wasn’t already asleep. After a few minutes, he tapped the intercom—it beeped, but Phasma didn’t answer.

_Shit._

Then he remembered: she was probably at the lounge, celebrating with her fellow troopers. The night couldn’t get any worse. He slumped on the wall next to her door to wait for her.

 

He had nodded off by the time she returned, clambering to his feet when he heard, “Kylo?”

“Uh, yeah, um...can I...uh…?”

Phasma, chivalrous as always, spared him the embarrassment of having to ask, “Of course, come in!’ She led him in, offering a chair while she found some clothes for him. “I’m sorry I was out so late, you must be freezing.”

“Thanks, yeah. But, no, I’m sorry for imposing without-”

“Don’t worry about it.”  She took off her helmet, setting it on an armor stand, and grabbed some casual clothes for him to wear.

“Would it be okay if I used your refresher? I’d kind of like to take a shower.”

“Well, of course, through there, I’ll get you some soap."

The refresher was much smaller than Hux’s, although Kylo supposed that this was luxury compared to the accommodations of the rest of the stormtroopers, who had shared quarters, which meant shared refreshers as well. It didn’t have a countertop or even a mirror and he could barely turn around in the shower stall. Phasma had given him a jar of standard issue soap. It didn’t lather, but he was certain that the abrasive powder took off a layer of skin.

When he came out, Phasma was in her underclothes, her armor neatly arranged on its stand.

“Feel better?” She asked.

“Yeah, a little.”

“Did you have dinner? I can make you something if you're hungry.”

“No. Well, maybe just some water or something.”

“I have a stash of Avabush tea. It'll help you sleep.”

“Sure.”

She mixed up the instant beverage.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

The tea was sweet and strangely comforting.

After a long silence, Kylo said, “I know what Hux wants, I just…he’s right...I...I wanted to do the right thing, but...”

“The best any of us can do is try to do what we think is right,” Phasma said.

“But, how do you know what’s right?”

“That’s a difficult question. The fact that you’re asking yourself that is a good thing, though.”

“No, it isn’t...I feel so...lost. I used to think that I knew what was right. And I didn’t care. That was up to other people to deal with. I just had to look out for myself. If I stayed out of everything, I wouldn’t feel guilty. Someone else would be to blame.”

“Listen,” Phasma said and lightly touched his hand, “you’re a good person. You can’t take responsibility for the acts of others.”

“But, if I do nothing, that's just as bad. No matter what I do, it’s never the right thing.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, okay?”

“I can’t ignore it, not like I used to, that would be even worse.” Kylo swallowed the last of his tea. “I wish I didn’t feel anything at all.”

 

Phasma had offered him the bed, which was nothing more than a thin bit of padding on a pallet, but he insisted on the floor—and she insisted on giving him her pillow and blanket. He didn't sleep well and woke up stiff and with his head throbbing like he'd been crying all night.

Phasma sat at the table looking at her datapad and eating what looked like pieces of bread in a bowl of blue milk 

“Would you like some breakfast?” She asked.

“Sure. What is it?”

“These are field rations, protein cakes. They don’t taste like much so I like to add milk.”

“Oh.”

She was right, they didn't taste like much, even in milk.

 

 

@~~~~~~~~~~@

 


	18. Breaking Point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~
> 
> _The hope, My Love, that we could be more than lovers has become a twisted version of what it was. I wanted you to love me the way you professed to love me, I kept thinking that you would, but I see that was nothing but a wisp of a hope._
> 
> ~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~

 

@~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~@

 

He would have to face Hux soon. Phasma had offered to let him stay in her quarters for as long as he needed. But it wouldn’t get any easier if he waited. She gave him some painkillers for his headache and told him that if he needed anything at all to ask her. He said that he would.

He had spent most of the night fretting over what he should say, finally conceding he would tell Hux that he had been right, that there were consequences for passivity as well as actions, that he wasn’t blameless. He would say he was sorry for invading his thoughts without consent.  

But, as he approached the door and pushed the intercom, a knot clenched in his stomach, he felt a trembling in his chest, and his headache returned. And, as the door slid open, his mind went blank. All those eloquent words he had rehearsed in his head drained away.

Instead, he said nothing, staring at Hux. He considered falling into his arms, begging for forgiveness. That’s what Hux wanted. He could fall at Hux’s feet, swear loyalty, swear that he would never betray him, tell him about the secret Republic base.

Instead, he did nothing. Hux stared at him, his pupils constricting, adjusting to the light in the corridor. He must have been sitting in the dark. That wasn't normal. Maybe he was just as upset as Kylo. Maybe he regretted throwing him out. Maybe he would apologize.

_Damn this collar! What are you thinking, My Love?_

He tried to read Hux’s expression. Stoic. Could be anger, could be sadness, could be nothing at all—as if he regularly tossed his lover into the hallway wearing nothing but a bedsheet.

Hux finally pulled him inside. “Where were you?”

_You know very well where I was. I'm certain you have a tracker on this thing._

“I went to Phasma’s room.”

Hux switched on a small illuminator, making the near pitch black room only slightly less dark.

“It’s inappropriate for you to spend the night in the Captain’s quarters.”

“You threw me out. What was I supposed to do, sleep in the hallway?”

“What were you doing with her?” Hux demanded.

“What? Nothing. All I did was sleep on her floor.”

“Why are you wearing her clothes?”

“I had nothing to wear. You didn’t give me a chance to put on anything before you-”

“Never go into Captain Phasma’s quarters again. Never go into any private quarters. How do you think that’s going to look? Are you trying to scandalize the entire ship?”

“Me? Me scandalize the ship? You threw me out **naked**!” Kylo shouted.

Hux lunged at him, backing him to the wall. “You really like questioning my authority, don’t you? You really like seeing how far you can push me.”

“What was I supposed to do?”

“You’re supposed to obey orders. It’s very easy to understand. This whole Force thing has made you arrogant.” Hux jabbed his fingers to Kylo’s temple in a mock blaster gesture. “You know, there’s a procedure, a laser burns a tiny hole in your brain—you’d be as docile and obedient as a droid.” Then, his fingers threaded softly through Kylo’s hair. “But neither of us want that, right?”

Kylo’s fingernails dug into his palms. He wanted to hit Hux. He never wanted to hit anyone more in his life.

“It would be better than this,” Kylo said, tears pricking his eyes.

Hux looked stunned. “You don’t mean that.”

“Yes, I do. You, you say that you love me, and, and then you treat me like this. This isn’t how you treat someone you love.” Kylo tried to push him away, but he grasped Kylo’s wrists. “Let go!” He jerked out of Hux’s grip and swung his fist, which connected with Hux’s cheekbone.

Hux’s eyes widened like a frenzied animal. He grabbed Kylo by the arm, wrenching it behind his back and kicked behind his knee. Kylo dropped, pitching Hux over his shoulder, slamming him to the floor. Hux rolled to his feet then quickly backed toward his desk and snatched something from it.

“You brought this on yourself!” He held up the small device and before Kylo could recognize what it was, his vision went white and his head hit something hard. All he could hear was a numb, pulsating reverberation.

The pulsating subsided and he realized he lay splayed on the floor as Hux tore at his clothing.

“So, is that better?” Hux yanked a pant leg off. “Is that better than just fucking following orders?”

Kylo groaned. His arms and legs tingled. He couldn’t move!

Hux straddled him, ripping the shirt off. “If I find out that you had illicit relations with the captain, I won't hesitate to throw her out an airlock!”

_Stop, My Love, please!_

He whimpered but no words came out. He heard Hux vaguely through the pounding in his ears. He rasped, gasping, not getting enough air. The room swayed, slowly flipping upside down, then righting itself with a jolt—only to start turning again. He perceived that he was being moved although the room was too dark to make out where. All he could see was nauseating, bleary shapes that wouldn't stop moving.

His face pressed into something more cushioned than the floor. A weight pushed down on him. Movement. Repetitive jostling. Over and over. Many times. A furious rocking. Too many times. His brain felt like it was banging around in his skull.

_Stop. stop. stop. It won’t stop!_

He closed his eyes to alleviate the dizziness but had to open them again to prevent passing out. But unconsciousness pulled at him, something he couldn't fight, sucking his thoughts into oblivion.

 

.....

 

.....

 

 

His eyes hurt. He started to open them. They hurt even more, so he closed them again.

 

.....

 

.....

 

 

An incessant sound. An alarm. A flashing red light. Danger! The air was running out. The life support system was failing. He looked at the panel readout in front of him, but it was gibberish. He ran down corridor after corridor, tripping over wires that stuck out of the walls and floor in sparking, tangled masses. The ship he knew like the back of his hand seemed to be a labyrinth. He flicked switches, but they did nothing. Panicking, he pulled a lever--the airlock!

No!

Weightless, bodiless, his consciousness torn apart by the black void.

 

* * *

 

He jolted, breathing hard. His heart pounded. His eyes hurt. Dark vagueness surrounded him. A sound, a high-pitched beep. A dim red blinking.

 

Where was he?

 

No. He wasn’t on his father's old freighter. There was no emergency alarm going off.  He wasn't suffocating or about to die in cold space. 

 

The dream took a few moments to fade as the outline of Hux’s chamber came into focus. A faint beeping and red blinking emanated from Hux’s computer console. 

 

He slid out of the bed, registering a pain in his lower body. That feeling...it made a pit in his stomach...it felt like what happened to him on Kree.

 

He stepped toward the flashing console. Step, step — _clink_ — something stopped him, something pulling on his neck. His hand came up and the memory of being chained in that vile dungeon hit him with a vividness he never wanted to experience again. He screamed, violently wrenching the chain, trying to tear it from the wall, lurching and twisting with all his strength. Until his strength ran out. Until he collapsed.

 

@~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~@

 

“You will need a dark thought."

"It must be strong and distinct. It must be clear in your mind."

“Do you have a dark thought?”

“Yes,” Kylo said.

“Dark thoughts can be dangerous, but, if focused, they can be very powerful.”

“You cannot waver in this thought, you must be absolutely certain.”

“Are you absolutely certain?’

“Yes,” Kylo said.

“You are going to use this thought to condense the energy around you.” Obri handed him the mask. “This thought is a means of preventing your mind from straying. When Force energy is gathered, it can be very tempestuous. Remember, you are bending it to your will, and it will try to resist you. You mustn’t let it. Make it submit to you. You are the master."

Kylo sensed Hux waiting outside the training room, ready to snap the horrid collar back on as soon as he walked out the door. 

_The hope, My Love, that we could be more than lovers has become a twisted version of what it was. I wanted you to love me the way you professed to love me, I kept thinking that you would, but I see that was nothing but a wisp of a hope._

_But, I still want it. I obsess over it. I want to bend you to my will, make you what you are not, just as I shape the Force for my own ends._

_This is my Dark thought, My Love._

_I have to do it as slyly as possible. I have to ease into your mind with enough care that you will not know I am there._

_I am the master._

@~~~~~~~|~~~~~~~@

 

 

Hux turned the collar over in his hands. The guard at the door, one of Snoke’s elite, ignored him to the point that he wondered if he would move to stop him if he tried to enter. Of course, he didn’t fear the guard, but he did not want to incur Snoke’s wrath. Snoke had, after all, funded the First Order, and while he gave Hux a fair amount of liberty to execute his orders however he saw fit, he doubted that outright challenging him would result in anything favorable.  

_He’s been in there a long time._

Thankfully, there had been nothing urgent that required his immediate attention. He opened and closed the collar idly.

_It is kind of a barbaric thing._

_No, he has to learn._

He had found Kylo on the floor. When he reached for him, Kylo had kicked at him, yelling, "Don't touch me!" It took half an hour to convince him that he only wanted to take the collar off so that he could get to this damn lesson. 

_It’s barbaric. I shouldn’t have done it. I just wanted him to behave. Why is it so hard for him to behave?_

“They’ve been in there a while,” he said to the guard.

The guard replied, “It takes as long as it takes.”

He clicked the collar open and closed. Click click click...

_It wasn’t supposed to hurt him, just subdue him. He attacked me. He deserved much worse. I’m too forgiving. But, having him like that...it...it wasn’t him. All I want is for him to love me. Why is that so hard? He acts like he needs to find some higher purpose or something. All he needs is me. Why doesn’t he see that?_

_I’m too forgiving._

_Now that he knows what I can--will--do, maybe that’ll quash this disrespectfulness. He attacked me. I can’t believe he attacked me! It has to be these Acolytes. They’re filling his head with delusions of grandeur. And Snoke. Snoke goes on and on, telling him how exceptional he is in the Force—it’s making him conceited._

Click click click...

_It’s making you arrogant._

_I need to use this. I need to let you know that if it wasn’t for me, you would still be nothing but a low-life criminal. Damn. It’s my fault for encouraging you. But, I foresaw our glorious future together. You, by my side, my beautiful enforcer, as we conquered system after system, bringing order to the galaxy._

_All you have to do is respect and obey me and I will give you glory and power._

Click...click…

Purple flashes came from under the door and a buzzing and popping sound that resonated in his chest. 

_I shouldn’t have used this._

_Damn._

_Damn, I love you. I want you to submit to me, but of your own will. This is the wrong way to go about it. This is a barbaric way to go about it. It was far more severe than I had expected. I didn’t want to hurt you. I never want to hurt you._

_You said you loved me. You said would never leave me. When you killed that warlord, you told me you liked it. You told me wanted more. I gave it to you because you wanted it. I gave it to you because I love you. But you act as though I’m torturing you…_

...click…

_But, I'm forgiving._

_What can I do?  I'll do anything. I want you to look at me like you did when I first saw you. I want you to look at me like you did that night on Coruscant. What can I do to make you look at me like that again?_

 

  
The guard stepped to the side as the door opened and the Acolytes exited, nodding politely as they walked past Hux. Kylo followed.

“How was your lesson?” Hux asked holding the collar behind him, embarrassed that he would have to carry the thing back to his room and hoping to pass an incinerator chute along the way that he could chuck it down.

“Good,” Kylo replied.

“It looked...dramatic.”

“Mm-hmm. Electricity.” He raised a finger to Hux's chest, almost touching him. A small, purple spark of energy arced between them.

Hux flinched. “That’s— I didn’t know you could do that.”

“I couldn’t, until today.”

“Listen, I-” Hux looked over his shoulder as the Acolytes walked away to make sure they were out of earshot.

_You would never deceive me, My Love. I have been paranoid and over-reacting. I blamed you for something you didn’t do and would never do._

“I’m sorry.”

Kylo said with a simpering grin, “I know.”

 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

 

 

Hux had his head in Kylo's lap while Kylo played with his hair.

"I want you by my side. Always. You said you would never leave me. And that made me immeasurably happy. And, this, it’s not your fault. I know you wanted to stay with me. Snoke will eventually take you away, so I want to cherish what we have.” Hux leaned up. “I've really been messing that up."

"Yes, you have."

"I know I can't prevent Snoke from taking what he wants, no one can. But, I guess I just had the most desperate hope that-"

"-if you stalled him long enough he would grow bored with the idea?"

"-and, by doing so, I held on too tightly. All I wanted to do was keep you. I worried so much about losing you, I wasn’t paying attention to how much I was hurting you. I worried that Snoke would ask you to betray me. I had to do anything in my power to prevent it. That's what started it. My own irrational stupidity. I want you for as long as I can have you, please understand that’s why I acted the way I did.”

“You can’t keep me forever.” Kylo threaded his fingers with Hux’s. “Our destinies have different paths.”

“There is no destiny, Kylo. We determine our own future, not some cosmic force. You will have to leave, yes, but once you’ve completed training, if you are able, will you come back?”

A soft glimmer flashed in Kylo's eyes, the merest hint of what Hux longed to see, barely there, but enough to give him hope. “We’ll see.”

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

 

 

 


	19. Solace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He found himself there often. It became a haven, a place--the only place--where he felt in control, where he felt at peace: Hux's mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warning: not sure what this qualifies as--non-consensual masturbation?
> 
> There is a time jump in this chapter, which may not be apparent, something like 8-10 months. I figure the [April Fools Day Bonus Chapter](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8627464/chapters/23217774) goes somewhere in this time frame. Sorry it's so short. I've been in a writing funk, but I figure a little something is better than nothing.

 ~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

He imagined Hux touching him lightly, kissing him, then kneeling to pleasure him, looking up at him with piercing eyes begging Kylo to command him.

_I will command you, My Love, as you wish. Let me lift you up, wrap your legs around me, let me all the way in-_

“You’re distracted,” Jehu said.

“Oh, I...I..shit!” Kylo said, followed by a clatter of electronics, metal, and plastic hitting the floor.

He had been given a simple task, levitating a pile of parts and forming them into a fully functioning droid. He’d floated the parts around in the air, but had not assembled them in the correct order, or any order.

“You’ve seemed more and more preoccupied lately,” Jehu said, scowling.

He had been and it didn’t take a Force sensitive to notice. Afraid that if he didn’t keep his attention on his mental control of Hux, it would fade and Hux would realize what had been going on, he had spent much of his time and energy focusing on it--to the point that it had become detrimental to his lessons.

“I'm sorry,” Kylo said.

“Are you taking this training seriously or are you wasting our time?” Jehu said.

“Of course I'm taking it seriously.”

“Well, I'm not seeing the dedication required to proceed further. I refuse to teach a disinclined student. I am going to send the Supreme Leader my evaluation of your recent performance and recommend that we cease instruction.” Jehu said soberly and, taking his mask under his arm, exited the training room.

Obri persisted unphased. “Begin again, please,” she said.

Kylo levitated the parts. Angry that Jehu had acted so sanctimoniously, and with a passionate desire to prove him wrong, he snapped the parts together perfectly in less than a second.

The round, black droid beeped cheerfully at him, grateful that it had been put back together.  And he immediately shattered it back into a hundred pieces.

Soon after, Jehu departed _The Finalizer._

Kylo found himself more and more on edge, breaking into fits of anger, sometimes crying uncontrollably, often taking his fury out on an innocent training droid or unfortunate computer console. He knew it wasn’t all coming from him. The Dark Side was supposed to make him more self-assured and tenacious, but instead, it made him hyper-sensitive--the thoughts and emotions of other people sometimes became difficult to distinguish from his own. He soaked up the tension, worry, anger, anxiety of everyone around him like a sponge, and there seemed to be no way to get rid of it other than by destroying something. But even that only gave him temporary relief.

Obri encouraged him to harness and use that power for more than random spurts of destruction. He said he would try, and after a while, he could simultaneously explode a dozen droids, or crumple a TIE fighter, but the thought of cutting someone down with his saber terrified him. He avoided using his weapon when on missions and distanced himself from any skirmishes that occurred. He feared a repeat of what had happened on Kree, a blackout-massacre-rampage. He feared losing control again. He feared not being able to come back from it.

He sensed frustration growing in Obri just as it had in Jehu. “You,” she told him, “You are the only one holding yourself back from greatness. It’s not that you lack power, or even that you lack control, but that you lack confidence in your ability to control that power. You must have faith in the Force.”

The Force. How could he have faith in something that constantly flooded his mind with horrendous thoughts and had taken control of him, mind and body, making him enact atrocious deeds? But he couldn't ignore it; he couldn't block it out. It wanted him and it wasn't going to leave him in peace. It insisted. It insisted loudly and consistently and persistently. 

The galaxy itself was screaming at him, and all he could do was plug his ears and scream back.

He found a true, calming solace in only one place: Hux’s thoughts. Specifically, in controlling Hux’s thoughts. Like carving into a hard surface, or traversing a wild landscape, rough at first, becoming smoother with each pass, winding into Hux’s mind felt easier each time.

He honed his skill at mind control to such a fine and subtle edge that, after several months, he didn’t have to exert very much concentration on it at all. He could sense a slight waver in Hux’s thoughts from across the ship and all he would have to do is send a suggestion as lightly as a tap on the shoulder, the briefest distraction, and Hux would forget about his original intention entirely. It was so easy that he would occasionally divert Hux’s thoughts without realizing it, slipping into that well-worn groove.

He decided one day to push his skill one step further. Merely a test, he thought, nothing more. Something inconsequential if it didn't work.

 

 ~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

Hux settled next to Kylo to read his daily reports before going to sleep. He stroked Kylo’s hair, as he often did when stressed as a sort of pacifier.  Kylo didn't have to look at him to know he was scowling.

“Anything happen, My Love? You seem upset,” Kylo said.

Hux said, “It’s nothing you need to be concerned with.”

_Tell me_

A moment later, Hux volunteered the information, “The Supreme Leader is skimming resources so that he can hunt down useless artifacts. An entire battalion sent to Endor to do what? Look for remnants of Empire’s greatest failure? Ridiculous! We need to be concentrating our efforts on the future, not the past. I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s what he wants you for, scrounging up dusty relics--a waste of your potential.”

Kylo said, “You might feel better if you took a shower. Less stressed, anyway.”

“I doubt it..."

_You will_

"...maybe.”

“Why don’t you take one and see, and worry about all that stuff tomorrow?”

“I suppose it couldn’t hurt.” Hux sighed and kissed Kylo’s forehead, then set down his datapad and went into the refresher and turned on the shower.

As Hux stepped under the hot spray, Kylo felt as though he was in the shower with him. He could feel the water on Hux’s face, chest, the back of his neck and down his back. He could feel how it felt for Hux. It felt like his own hands were lathering Hux’s hair, moving down to his chest, the water drenching his head.

_That’s it._

_Lower. Lower._

Kylo felt a tingle at the back of his head that moved down his body as Hux’s fingers glided down his abdomen to the line of soft pubic hair.

_That dirty cock, lather it up._

Hux made his dick nice and soapy and slippery.

_Feel yourself. You feel really nice._

Hux stroked himself, his hand sliding easily up and down the lather-slick shaft.

_Enjoy yourself._

Hux tilted his head so that the water gently pelted his head and ran down his face into his slightly parted lips.

Kylo cupped himself over his underwear. Having Hux under his command, he understood Hux’s craving for domination: commanding someone else in such a way aroused him almost as much as a physical touch. No. More so. His groin ached. He slid his hand into his underwear.

Hux’s hand moved slowly up and down, squeezing, releasing. The soap washed off, increasing the friction between his fingers and the taut, delicate skin.

_Yes, faster. I feel your pain. And I don't care. I want you to hurt yourself. I want you to like the pain._

Hux hissed, pleasure overwhelming the discomfort, intensifying the rhythmic self-stimulation. Kylo rolled his hips, rubbing himself, imagining it was Hux’s hand.

_What are you thinking about, My Love? Your own pleasure? Do you know that I am enjoying this as much as you are? Do you care? It was never about making me happy, was it? But that's what you wanted me to think. Or, do you really think that? Are you so delusional that you’ve fooled yourself? Do you think that you have done anything for my benefit?_

Hux yelped, squeezing himself too tightly, wanting to stop--but not wanting to stop. Kylo reclined into the pillows, closing his eyes.

_But, you are making me happy. I wish I could keep you like this forever. Mine. I understand now. Wanting to own someone else. Knowing that they will do anything you ask. I don't blame you for wanting it--it feels nice..._

_..._

Hux suddenly wanted to experience Kylo pinned down under him or better yet, Kylo’s lips would feel much softer than his hands. He could do it, make Kylo kneel before him. He had done it dozens of times before...hadn't he? Or...was that an imagined fantasy-

_Shit!_

Kylo had fallen into his own bliss, almost lost his hold on Hux’s mind.

_You won’t get away that easy! I’m never letting you go again. I’ll never loosen my grasp and the more you fight me, the tighter I’ll dig in my claws. Now, faster. Harder. Pain and pleasure becoming one._

Hux groaned as his grip tightened and he began stroking more feverishly. 

_I feel your heart, your quickening breath. I feel the pulse in your neck. Feel me, My Love, as I wrap around you, as I enter you, as I become you and you become me._

Hux felt his legs tremble, about to give way, as a ripple of euphoria washed over him. The friction was unbearable, but it felt too good to stop.

_Give me your pleasure. Give it. Give it! Give it to me! It's mine!_

Hux cried out in ecstasy, collapsing under the hot spray. Kylo smirked with satisfaction.

Kylo went into the refresher, Hux lay curled on the shower floor panting, semen swirling down the drain. Kylo shut off the shower and wrapped Hux in a towel.

_I can see, My Love, why you wanted to repress me. I am a danger. To myself and others. Particularly to you._

Kylo guided Hux back into bed and as he pulled the sheet over both of them, he said, “Feel better?”

Hux rested his head on Kylo’s chest. “Mmm-”

“See how relaxing that was?”

“-hmm,” Hux muttered.

Kylo gently ran his hand through Hux’s hair, curling a wet lock around his finger. “You’ll have no problem sleeping tonight, My Love.”

The only reply was a soft snore —Hux was asleep.

 

 

 ~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 

 


	20. Still Mine (or The Saltnut Butter Shrimp Bungle)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
> _ He’ll be back, he’ll be back, he’ll be back. _  
>    
> 
> 
>  ~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 ~~~~~@~~~~~

 

 _The Finalizer_ floated nearly silently on only two engines. Supreme Leader Snoke had ordered the First Order Fleet to convene at a remote planet to proceed with the construction of a superweapon — a weapon that would decimate the Republic. The project was slated to take three years to complete and they had to do it without drawing the attention of the Republic. 

As they passed near the Mytaranor sector, a sector under Republic control, Hux should have directed the navigator to steer away from any possible detection by the enemy. But, Kylo had mentioned that he had never eaten Kashyyyk land shrimp, so Hux had decided to surprise him with not only shrimp but some fresh fruit from the planet as well. A risky undertaking in enemy territory, but, at the time, he didn’t suppose an unmarked shuttle and plainclothes officers would appear out of place in a Kashyyyk marketplace.

Hux had the best chef aboard _The Finalizer_ prepare the special meal, shrimp in saltnut butter with muja fruit cobbler for dessert.

He balanced the tray of food in one hand as he pressed the door control panel of his quarters. The door _whooshed_ open to a dark room.

_Damn. He’s training late. Again._

He plunked the tray on the table.

“...mmmm, smells nice…”

Hux wheeled around to see a silhouette sitting on the floor against a wall.

“What are you doing?” Hux demanded.

“Meditating,” Kylo said.

“For all the good it does you,” Hux said, turning back to the table to set out the meal. "Lights, 100 percent.”

Kylo rose from his cross-legged position on the floor, which looked terribly uncomfortable to Hux: How anyone could relax in that position was a mystery to him.

“You should try it. It would help with the stress you seem to be under lately,” Kylo said.

Hux felt a headache prickling just above his left eye. He had been under a lot of stress recently, more so than usual. He had also been having more headaches than usual, too. He felt anxious, as if something ominous was approaching. Snoke’s new secret project must be weighing on his mind.

“I’m not under any stress. Lights, 75 percent.”

Or maybe it was Kylo—  Kylo had been reluctant to engage in any ground combat for several months and if Hux couldn't prove to Snoke that staying on _The Finalizer_ benefitted Kylo, Snoke would send him elsewhere for training.

Kylo was obstinate and unpredictable, and Hux didn’t know why The Supreme Leader wanted him, or what he was training for. 

Hux pinched the bridge of his nose. He despised taking pain medication because it dulled his faculties, but he was close to giving in this time.

“Lights, 50 percent.”

Kylo touched Hux’s shoulder in a gesture of sympathy and kissed him. “It will help you relax.”

Hux felt that he didn’t need any sympathy and he certainly didn’t need to meditate. And he was miffed that he had allowed Kylo to startle him when he came in.

“Not now, the food will get cold.”

“It does look amazing,” Kylo said looking over the beautifully prepared meal. “And after, I want to share something with you.”

“I’m not going to meditate with you," Hux said as if meditating was the most childish, trivial thing he could conceive.

“It wouldn’t kill you to try it, but it’s something else,” Kylo said.

Hux sighed and rubbed his forehead.

“Is it one of those cheesy Force things where you levitate a pear or something?”

“Better than that...I’m going to levitate this bowl of cobbler,” Kylo laughed as he lifted the bowl with the Force, twirling it in the air. He seemed to be in an uncharacteristically cheery mood— which Hux found strangely unsettling.

They ate dinner and Kylo remarked several times on how great the food tasted. But Hux couldn’t enjoy it. His stress headache intensified into a piercing migraine. He felt queasy. And Kylo wasn't helping by eating the shrimp with his hands, holding each by the tail, slurping the whole thing into his mouth, then noisily sucking the butter sauce off his fingers.

Hux asked, “You would tell me if there was something...wrong, wouldn’t you?”

“Of course. But there’s nothing wrong. Everything’s great,” Kylo said as he dipped his fork into the blood-purple cobbler.

 _Oh, but something_ **_is_ ** _wrong. I can’t put my finger on it, though...damn…can't think straight._

“I don’t mean the food,” Hux said. “Has the Supreme Leader spoken to you today?”

Kylo’s expression darkened. “No.”

“Anytime recently?”

“Please, My Love, let’s just enjoy this,” Kylo said, shoving another forkful into his mouth as if forced to, his smile gone.

“So, he is taking you away.”

Kylo sighed, “It’s not like I can say no. We both knew this was coming.”

Provoked by Kylo’s acquiescence of the situation, Hux said, “If you took your training seriously, it wouldn’t have had to happen. You were supposed to be learning ground tactics—  and Captain Phasma tells me you have been excelling at practice—  but you refuse to engage in actual combat. It’s your own fault for not trying hard enough, or even trying at all.”

Kylo shot up from the table. “I do take it seriously. I refused to fight _because_ I take it seriously. I know what the Force— what the Dark Side— can do, and trust me, you do not want it unleashed because of some petty dispute with some dirt farmers on some inconsequential planet. It takes everything I have to hold it back.”

Hux stiffened, taking a defensive posture. Kylo could project an effectively threatening demeanor when he wanted to and Hux was momentarily taken aback by his own reflexive, somewhat fearful response.

“I’m sorry, My Love. But you and I both know that I have no choice. I never had a choice. I just wanted to keep up the pretense that I did. I appreciate you trying to postpone the inevitable, but it is inevitable,” Kylo said as he sat back down.

He was right, Hux knew it. The Supreme Leader wouldn’t allow Kylo to stay with him indefinitely. That had never been his intention.

_But why let him stay at all? He must have some misgivings about him._

_There has to be something I can do_

_...No, it is inevitable...certain…_

_No, nothing is certain, nothing is predestined...fate doesn’t exist, there has to be a way to keep him. If he was injured, Snoke would have to delay training, perhaps even deem him unfit to train-_

A crackle behind his eye like an arc of electricity burned out his thoughts. Hux hissed and rubbed his temple.

Kylo winced, but Hux couldn't tell if he meant it as compassionate or mocking. “I can help you with that... if you let me.”

“No, it’s fine,” Hux said, “It’s just a headache.”

“I can, really-”

“No.”

“Trust me.”

“You said yourself that you can’t control it. I don’t want you to fry my brain, okay?”

“I would never hurt you, My Love. You know that," Kylo said.

Hux did know that. But something in the back of his mind told him to be wary. Silly, baseless wariness: he had always trusted Kylo. Of course he did. What kind of lover would he be if he didn’t?

“Just…” Hux said.

Kylo said, as if completing his thought, “Just...try it, only for a minute. It’ll be fine, I promise…” But the flashing alert of the communications panel interrupted: a message from Supreme Leader Snoke requesting the general’s immediate presence. The message did not mention Kylo.

Hux half-considered Kylo's offer before saying, “I suppose I should get this over with.” Kylo looked down and bit his lip and said nothing.

 

@~~~~~~~~~~@

 

He had known that Hux would be furious and had spent the bulk of that day attempting to calm Hux's already high-stress thoughts in preparation for the news. But, Hux had fought back mentally and given himself a migraine in the process, making it harder for Kylo to dig into his mind without causing more pain. He had hoped that a pleasant meal and a nice fuck would help temper the blow but his distraction technique backfired disastrously: He had been too cheerful, he realized that in hindsight, and when he tried to seductively lick the butter off of his fingers, Hux caught on immediately that something was amiss.

He had to scramble to block Hux’s thoughts of inflicting injury upon him, to which he overreacted— or appropriately reacted — shuttering the thought so fast and violently that he not only unintentionally hurt Hux but caused himself pain.

He backed off to try a gentler approach, but, the Supreme Leader summoned Hux sooner than expected.

Hux left quickly and Kylo felt Hux's desperation thicken he walked through the ship to the hologram chamber. He again had to divert Hux’s delusions that maiming him would somehow extinguish Snoke’s interest in him.

_Why do you want to hurt me, My Love? Why does your mind go there?  I had a small hope that I could change you and you would remain changed. But that is no longer a hope._

He didn't try to ease Hux’s fear and despair as Snoke spoke to him. Merely diluting anger with fear or sadness had only suppressed it temporarily; he had to carve it away for good.

 

@~~~~~~~~~~@

 

Hux took the longest walk he’d ever taken to the hologram chamber. Kylo would be taken away and he felt helpless to do anything about it. He pondered irrational stalling tactics and desperate compromises—  even entertaining the idea that perhaps he could go with Kylo— but he knew the ridiculousness of any request such as that.

The large doors to the hologram chamber opened; Hux steeled himself and entered.

Hux’s thoughts buzzed too loudly to pay attention to The Supreme Leader as he spoke about the future of the First Order, his new project, solidifying peace in the galaxy. Hux had heard it all before, had spoken it all before. Snoke hadn’t called him here for this. 

_Just get to the fucking point._

He waited, his heart pounding in his ears.

Almost as an afterthought, Snoke said, “One more thing…”

Hux thought hearing it would be less excruciating than the awful anticipation, but when Supreme Leader Snoke said, “As for Kylo, at this time…”,  the words stabbed him like a lightsaber in the chest. “I would like to send him to Moraband for further training. One of my Knights will arrive tomorrow to collect him.”

The thumping of his heart in his throat made it impossible for him respond, so Hux squared his shoulders and gave a single, curt nod.

Snoke continued, “I understand that you paid a substantial amount for him, so I will compensate you more than generously, and I will permit you three days leave to go to Coruscant, or wherever you wish, to buy another. And upon Kylo’s return, you will have one of the emissary suites ready for him — he is no longer your slave.”

He must have been dumbstruck for several moments because Snoke said, “Is there any confusion, General?”

He swallowed and said, “No, Supreme Leader. However, I will not need the leave.”

“Excellent.”

Snoke’s hologram vanished.

The walk back to his room seemed even longer than the walk there. He felt cold, hollow, fragile. If he dared to feel an emotion, he would shatter.

_He’s leaving he’s leaving he’s leaving…_

_he's no longer mine._

 

Kylo looked up at him when he entered.

“I’m sorry-”

“We don’t need to do this again.” _I don’t think I could handle it now, anyway._

“My Love,” Kylo said, coming to him, settling his arms on his shoulders in a half-embrace, “Then what do we do?”

“It doesn’t really matter at this point, right?” Hux said.

The throbbing in his head had dulled to something slightly less agonizing, a constant low tone humming hypnotically in his ears.  

“I suppose he told you everything,” Kylo said.

“Yes, Moraband. What kind of training can you get on Moraband? It’s nothing but sand and rocks and ruins. Fuck.”

“He said it’s where Force-users used to go, a long time ago, to do rituals,” Kylo said.

“Rituals? Is that why you’re going?”

“I’m pretty sure. It’s like a rite of passage or something. It’s...important...apparently” Kylo said, shrugging, and Hux knew he was trying not to make it sound as weighty as Snoke doubtlessly had.

“What a waste of fucking time,” Hux huffed, “I can’t believe he’s taking you just for that nonsense. At least that shouldn’t take too long.”

Kylo lowered his arms to Hux’s waist. “There’s more than that. I’ll probably be gone for a long time.”

“How long?”

“The way he was talking about it...a year, maybe longer,” Kylo said.

“Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck!” Hux rubbed two fingers just above his brow ridge.

“Don’t be upset, please,” Kylo said, “You’ll only make your headache worse.”

“How can I not be upset? He’s taking you away because he can. He’s doing it to demonstrate his power. You couldn’t possibly be that valuable to him.”

Kylo looked both angry and deeply hurt, “You think so little of me, still?”

“I know a thing or two about the Force. I know that people don’t suddenly have the abilities that you do. Snoke is doing something to you. Channeling through you or...or — It’s that damn saber!”

“It’s not— ”

Hux tore open Kylo’s dresser drawer. “Where is it?”

“Please, calm down,” Kylo said.

“I’ll destroy the fucking thing!”

“ **Calm down.** ”

“I’ll...fuck…”

A wave of lightheadedness fell on him. Kylo’s arm slipped under his as he lost his balance and had to lean against him. Then, the cool softness of the bed welcomed him.

 

@~~~~~~~~~~@

 

Kylo nudged him as he wiggled into bed with him, saying, “I'll give you a backrub.”

“I don’t need a backrub.” Hux lurched, snapping out of his swoon.

Hux fought him hard this time; that groove that Kylo had chiseled in his mind had become an aggravated, tender scab.  

 “Why are you okay with this? Why are you okay with him taking you away?” Hux's glare had an edge of savage resentment, as if it was Kylo's fault that Snoke wanted him. He sensed that Hux would do anything to keep Snoke from taking him. 

_Would you really do anything? I know that you would. You are too cruel, My Love, and I am sorry that I have to do this to you. But I am not sorry for doing it._

“There’s nothing I can do,” Kylo said. He cut deeper, gouging Hux’s anger out, exposing something much easier to control: Sorrow.

_Remember, you love me? Remember when you found me and saved me. How fortunate to be there, on that night, of all nights._

Hux clenched the sheets, his eyes shimmering. “I can’t lose you again. I just can’t.” 

Once he had torn open the wound, drowning Hux with despair, Kylo could exploit Hux’s major weakness, physical indulgences.

“Just enjoy this, what we have right here,” Kylo said as he opened Hux’s jacket. Hux relented, lying back down as Kylo began kissing him, starting at the lips, then moving down, chin, neck, chest—

— as Kylo got to his mid abdomen, Hux said, “Do you remember-”

“Yes.”

“I didn't even ask the question.”

“I remember every moment we've spent together.”

Kylo dragged his fingernails along Hux’s ribs and down the outside of his thighs as he slid Hux’s trousers off.

“Am I wrong to want you?”

“You have me,” Kylo said, lowering his head between Hux’s legs.

“You're leaving.”

“I'll come back.”

“But you'll no longer be mine...”

Hux dropped his head back, digging his fingers into Kylo's dense, black mane. Soft and warm lips enveloped him, the slightest scraping of teeth, sucking to the head, then hot breath, tongue poking the tip.

_There we are. This is nice. This is what you like._

 

@~~~~~~~~~~@

 

As Kylo relinquished him to remove his own pants, Hux exhaled the breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. Kylo took the small container of lubricant Hux kept by the bed and rubbed him with the silky substance, straddled him and slowly lowered himself, Hux guiding his hips. Kylo then leaned forward and Hux met his kiss.

_You are right. I have you. Here and now, I have you._

Kylo began rocking his hips.

“Is this nice?”

“Good, so good,” Hux muttered.

_So good…_

His head didn’t hurt anymore.

_...it's almost too good._

…

 ...

_...is this real?_

Kylo penetrated him with a haunting gaze. _Does it matter?_

Kylo’s body rose and fell in rhythm with his hot, heavy moans.

Hux arched his back, his stomach clenching, the friction sending tingling jolts through him.

_Slower... go slower. I don’t want this over too soon!_

Kylo grabbed the headboard and shifted into his feet, and began bouncing relentlessly, spiking each beat with a sharp cry.

"Ah! Ah! Ah! AH!"

"No! No! No! YES!"

_Damn you! Punish me, then! Make me long for you when you are gone. I will always love you more than you love me, and you’ll never let me forget it. You’ll use it to destroy me…_

Tears pricked Hux’s eyes and he cried out — a tormented, rapturous laugh, “Faster! Faster!”

_and I will let you-_

“FASTER!”

_-because I love you._

_~~~~~~~~~_

 

Kylo left for Moraband the next day. Hux had hoped that if anything about last night had not been real, it would have been that. The memory, though, the good parts, felt just as good as they had when they happened. The bad parts fell away, shriveling, flaking into dust.

_He is leaving and he is coming back and he will still be mine._

He had to focus on his duties, now. He would have plenty of work to devote his attention to. No time to mope or worry. That took up too much energy. He could be happy that Kylo would return. And his work would distract him from dwelling on the thought that he would be half the galaxy away.

 

Kylo wondered if his hewing of Hux’s psyche would last after he left. He boarded the looming, black, imperious-looking shuttle that Snoke had sent, only briefly looking back at Hux on the platform. The Knight that Snoke had chosen to chaperone him acknowledged his presence by merely gesturing at the pilot to depart. Hux’s thoughts, feelings, which Kylo had fairly lived in for the last several months, lost their bumpy, intricate contours, becoming less and less distinct like the vast warship as it dwindled to a speck behind them until finally vanishing, engulfed in the blackness of space.

 

 ~~~~~@~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a year since I started this (wow), so I should probably get to finishing it. Hopefully, I can have the next chapter sometime this week, and then the final chapter shortly thereafter. As always, thanks for reading. <3


	21. The Last Good Act

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ~~~~~@~~~~~
> 
>   _Why am I so afraid?_
> 
>   **_Fear is a natural instinct. It protects you from things that are dangerous._ **
> 
>   _I know the Dark Side is dangerous. That...I’m dangerous._
> 
>   **_Are you afraid of yourself?_ **
> 
>   _Shouldn’t I be?_
> 
> ~~~~~@~~~~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter warnings: kidnapping, violence against and threatening the life of a minor

 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

 

 

Kylo stopped at the bottom of the ramp, red dust whipping about his hair. This planet didn’t look like much, just as Hux had said, rocks and crumbling ruins. But, something…unseen...

His eyes watered, a red haze blurred the horizon, the vastness…

... something heavy in the air threatened to crush his chest.

Moraband.

A tomb.

An ancient tomb. Not just old, but _unimaginably_ old, older than written history. A tomb built on a tomb built on a tomb, back thousands of generations. He wanted nothing more than run away, not ready for whatever awaited him here.

“The Supreme Leader wishes to see you,” Mirra Ren said.

She had greeted him, if scowling could be considered a greeting, and led him into the immense, pyramidal structure to what he presumed would be his ‘accommodations’ for the duration of his stay— a bare room with neither a bed nor a refresher nor furnishings of any kind except a low ledge built into the wall that he supposed was meant to be where he slept, but was too small for him to lie on.

Kylo turned to ask Mirra Ren where to find the Supreme Leader.

She scowled even deeper. “He’s in the Temple. He doesn't like to be kept waiting.”

Kylo followed her through the labyrinthine corridors, taking mental notes of the turns they made so that he could find his way back to his room. Mirra Ren waved a hand in front of a heavy, undecorated door, which opened to long, narrow chamber where Snoke awaited him.

In person, Snoke stood almost an arm’s length taller than Kylo, somehow even more imposing than his giant hologram. He wore an ivory robe embroidered with gold thread. His skin was the color of pale pink marble, creased and cracked, his eyes opalescent. He had an etherealness to him. 

“My Dear Apprentice,” Snoke said, clasping his hands together.

Kylo shivered.

“Come here,” Snoke beckoned. Kylo obeyed.

Snoke looked him over, scrutinizing, walking around him, digging for flaws. Snoke’s eyes — he couldn’t look at them. He felt his skin splinter as Snoke’s gaze tore into him.

“You are rough,” Snoke said—his voice had a magisterial quality, not arrogant or demanding, but bitterly truthful.  

Snoke put his hand on Kylo’s shoulder, a finer touch than Kylo expected, as if Snoke was nothing more than a gossamer specter. “Very rough, something I can work with, like a block of marble that contains a hidden masterpiece within.” The touch and strangely seductive words soothed Kylo and the corners of his mouth twitched up.

“I will do my best to prove my worth,” Kylo said.

“I know you will. But before I can begin your training proper, I have a simple but vitally important task for you. In your chamber, you will meditate for ten hours, concentrate on drawing strength and ancient wisdom from these walls, this foundation, the history of this place, the planet itself.”

Kylo wished he better understood how the Force worked—after all, pilots understood how their engines worked, it would be dangerous not to. He never wanted to lose control again, that frightened him more than anything. This place already felt like it wanted to crush him. He didn’t want to think about what would happen if he tried to tap into it without understanding it. 

Snoke answered as if he had read his thoughts—and Kylo was certain that he had :

“You do not need to understand it any more than you need to understand the physiology of your lungs in order to breathe. Open yourself to the Force; let it flow through you. You are a conduit, Kylo, a rare being indeed. The way the Force flows in and out of you is like nothing I’ve encountered before. You are capable of channeling the Force as easily as one blows the down off a thistle. Just as you can control your breath, you can control the flow of the Force. You will practice and it will become easier. And I will be here to help you.”

Kylo nodded, still unsure despite Snoke's reassurance.

Snoke drew Kylo to arm's length. “After your meditation, I will send someone for you.”

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

Snoke had said that it was an easy task, meditating for ten hours.

Kylo sat cross-legged on the stone floor. It was cold. Everything was cold. The floor, the air, when he closed his eyes, the coldness seemed like a black maw that wanted to devour him.

_Sit and think — for ten hours — in this cold room — pondering a centuries-old Dark power that I can’t begin to understand — yeah, easy._

He shivered and pulled his cloak around himself.

“Okay, Force, I’m ready…” he breathed, although he didn’t believe the words. Snoke had sounded confident in him, though, and he was old and wise, and knew better than him — _Right?_

_He sees potential in me. Why am I so afraid?_

**_Fear is a natural instinct. It protects you from things that are dangerous._ **

_And I know the Dark Side is dangerous. That...I’m dangerous._

**_You are afraid of yourself._ **

_But shouldn’t I be?_

A dark hole grew beneath him, a vortex he didn’t want to be pulled into. 

**_Fear also prevents us from being brave. From taking risks. Or makes us brave. When we do. With every risk, there is a chance of failure or a chance of success. Fear is essential. Without fear, there is no bravery. There is no success without risk. The challenge is not defeating fear, it’s being afraid and doing it anyway._ **

_What if my fear is warning me to stay away rightfully so? What if there is no chance of success? Only failure? Why do something stupid and dangerous just to be brave?_

**_If you are trapped, and it is stupid and dangerous to try to escape, should you just not try?_ **

The darkness pulled him down. He felt the coldness of chains around his wrists, smelled the stench of that dungeon, his stomach quivered with anger and helplessness, the same as he felt that night. A rending feeling that he would do anything to stop.

_I lost control! I can't let that ever happen again!_

**_Then learn control._ **

_How?_

**_Confidence, certainty,_ _conviction_ _._** **_Know that the choices you make are because you want to make them. That no one else has control over your actions except yourself._ **

He felt the rush of power, sprinting through the hallways, his blazing saber cutting through enemies. Exhilarating, rapturous. And why not enjoy it? These things didn’t deserve to live, disgusting, barbaric creatures! — _No. No! Can’t let it happen again!_

_No! Those weren’t my actions, the Force was controlling me!_

**_It’s what you wanted. The Force guided you, showed you how._ **

The stench of the Kreel gave way to the stench of blood and burning flesh.

_It’s not what I wanted._

**_You wanted to escape. You wanted to save your lover. You wanted to punish those who hurt you._ **

_I...didn’t have to kill them._

He looked down, his hands covered in blood, holding a broken necklace.

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

When the knock on his door came, it didn’t feel like ten hours had passed —  _Oh no! I must have fallen asleep!_

He leapt to open the door. Surely, Snoke would know that he had failed his meditation task. A figure, nearly as tall as Snoke, dressed in a red robe and hood that obscured its face, stood on the other side of the door.

“Is it...ten hours? Already?” Kylo said.

The robed figure said nothing, but swayed an arm, signaling Kylo to accompany it. The figure walked slightly behind Kylo, but Kylo somehow knew which direction to go. They weren't going to Snoke. This was part of the vitally important task he had to fulfill before Snoke would train him. 

He stopped at a black door, tall, narrow, smooth, out of place in the red stone corridor.  The figure waved its hand over the door control panel and as the door opened the figure swept silently back down the hallway.

The interior of the room matched its door, black and shiny. A spiral groove in the floor directed to a broad altar in the center of the room. Mirra Ren and the other Knight, still wearing the eyeless black mask, stood on either side of the altar. On the altar, a naked, silver-skinned boy—bound, gagged, blindfolded— squirmed and moaned. The masked Knight planted a hand on the boy’s throat to hold him down.

“Well, Initiate, show me you’re worthy of training,” Mirra Ren said.

Kylo eyed her sideways — _I thought I had done that already._

“It's just a simple sacrifice to ensure an auspicious initiation.”

“Sacrifice?”

She said with a lurid smile, “You want to appease the Force, don't you?”

“Not if I have to kill some poor kid,” Kylo said.

Her smile crumpled. “The Dark Side doesn't like to be slighted. If you don’t make a sacrifice now, the Force is destined to take one nevertheless. It's no skin off my nose, just keep in mind that when you go against the will of the Force, the consequences can be dire.”

Kylo pursed his lips. Her words had a weight to them that made the air feel heavier than it already did.

“Not doubting yourself, are you? Doubt is your worst enemy, you must have conviction in every action,” Mirra Ren said.

**_Conviction._ **

“I have conviction," Kylo said, "I'm not doing it,” and moved to untie the boy. The second Knight stepped aside.

Mirra Ren shrugged, “Have it your way, set him free, but no one can survive on Moraband for more than a few days without water or shelter. He’ll die of thirst or exposure, better to keep him from suffering.”

“Can’t we send him back where he came from?” Kylo asked, digging his fingernails into the tight knot. The thin cable cut into the boy’s wrists and he squirmed in obvious pain.

“Unless they are followers of the Dark, no one who comes to Moraband leaves again.”  Her robes billowed like storm clouds as she turned and marched out the door. The other Knight followed her without saying a word.

Kylo snorted, “We’ll see.”

He pulled the boy’s blindfold off and removed his gag. The boy kept his eyes squeezed shut. He appeared about ten or twelve—or a very stunted fourteen. His skin was a silvery hue, covered with many crimson and purply-blue marks.

“Hey, kid, I'm really sorry. Those guys are... crazy zealots.”

No, that wasn't harsh enough to describe them — _Inhuman, barbarous monsters._

“I've got to cut these off,” Kylo said and lit his saber. The boy screamed and rolled off the altar, landing with a hard _smack_ on the polished floor.

“No, no, no, you'll hurt yourself!”

The boy yelled and kicked at Kylo, wiggling like an eel out of water.

“Hey, calm down, I’m trying to free you,” Kylo said. He extinguished his saber. “See? I just need to use this to cut those cords.”

The boy stilled and Kylo could see that his tear-filled eyes matched his silvery complexion.

“Okay?” Kylo said.

Kylo could discern a nod through the boy's uncontrollable shaking. He ignited the saber once again. The boy trembled but held still enough for Kylo to sever the cords. Careful not to burn him, Kylo touched the bindings with one of the quillons of his saber and the cords parted and fell away.

The boy sat up and rubbed his wrists.

Kylo took off his cloak and draped it around the boy, who started full-out crying.

Kylo said, “Listen, I’m not going to leave you out in the desert or anything. I’m going to make sure you get back home.”

“You’re…” the boy said in a choked voice, “You’re... not like...them?”

Kylo was closer to being like them than he wanted to admit.

“What’s your name?” Kylo asked.

“Teague.” The boy wiped his eyes.

“I’m... I’m Ben,” Kylo said and smiled. He didn’t know exactly why he gave that name, possibly to convince himself that he wasn’t like the Knights of Ren. The boy smiled back.

Kylo carried Teague to his room and made him as comfortable as he could considering the lack of furnishings, folding his tunic on the small ledge for Teague to lie on and tucking the cloak around him. The boy fell asleep, passed out from pure exhaustion, curled up in Kylo’s cloak.

Kylo had no means of contacting Snoke, but he knew it would not be long before The Supreme Leader contacted him.

 

~~~~~@~~~~~

 

Snoke summoned him, by way of his silent, red-robed servant. 

Kylo checked that Teague was still sleeping soundly before leaving.

"I know the way," Kylo told the robed figure, who nodded and left Kylo to make his way to the Temple alone.

Kylo steeled himself for whatever castigation Snoke had in store for him as he opened the Temple doors.

Snoke approached him without anger in his eyes, only disappointment, and after a heavy silence, said, “When the ancient Sith ruled this planet, they sacrificed Jedi and Padawans to prove their devotion to the Dark Side.

"To complete your training, you will have to take this step. Don’t think that by sparing this boy you are sparing yourself. The task must be done to seal your covenant with the Dark Side.” 

His mouth twisted into a knot and he tapped his chin with a gnarled finger. “But, I suppose it can wait for a more suitable offering.”

“Thank you, Supreme Leader. May I return him home then?” Kylo said.

Snoke said, “My Dear Apprentice, I will allow you to send him back to his home, but only so that you may one day know the futility of that act. You will learn that you can’t concern yourself with every worthless being in the galaxy. Some will suffer, some will not, that is the way of things.”

“Master, forgive me, but the Acolytes taught me that I was supposed to change the fates imposed by the Force,” Kylo said.

“Oh, yes, but you should be aware of the cost. You will save the life of this boy— you have changed his fate— that is certain. But, like a stone tossed in a pond, you have caused a ripple that will be felt elsewhere. Sparing him is only condemning someone else.” Snoke's tone was cautionary but not unkind or reproachful.

“Dark Side users bend the Force to their will for the benefit of themselves and their loved ones, so the Force will inflict that fate somewhere else, on someone else to maintain equilibrium. But it does you no good to change the fate of a stranger because you are merely sacrificing one for another. So, by sparing this boy, you will be burdened with the knowledge that you cannot save someone else when their time comes.”

 

 ~~~~~~~~~

 

Kylo returned to his room to wake the boy.

_Even if I am condemning someone else, maybe they will be someone that deserves it. Maybe that makes me a terrible person. Maybe this is yet another test. He didn’t seem to care that I didn’t meditate for ten hours, and let me return the boy home without much protest. Maybe this whole sacrifice thing is a ruse. Maybe he’s testing my resolve, trying to scare me, make me give into fear, prove that I’m weak. Compassion is not a weakness, no matter what he or anyone else says._

“Teague,” Kylo whispered, touching the boy’s shoulder softly.

Teague jolted awake, crying out, taking a moment to acknowledge his surroundings and recognize that Kylo wasn't going to hurt him. "B-Ben?"

“It’s okay, I’m taking you home,” Kylo said.

“Really?” Teague's eyes widened.

“Yes. Tell me where you live, we are leaving right away.”

“Really?” Teague seemed too overjoyed and astonished to say anything else — as if he had actually believed Kylo intended to abandon him to die in the desert.

 

Aboard the shuttle, Kylo held the boy, still wrapped in his cloak, close to him while the two Knights glared disdainfully at them. The boy curled into the crook of his arm, burying into the cloak to keep from having to look at the Knights. Kylo felt him shivering, either from cold or fear, or both.

Mirra Ren sneered, “I don’t know what you did to gain such favor with The Supreme Leader, Initiate, but don’t expect this preferential treatment to last. Most initiates die before attaining Knighthood, and I expect as little of you.”

The second Knight, who had his helmet removed this time, revealing himself to be a sandy-skinned Zabrak, said, “He wouldn’t have requested that we accompany you if he fully trusted you.”

Mirra Ren said, “I don’t think he trusts you at all. But, for some reason, he still insisted on taking you as an apprentice. Tell me, are you secretly from a royal lineage?” 

She smiled at her fellow Knight. He joined her in mocking Snoke’s new, and apparently favored, apprentice. “Or a long lost descendant of a Sith Lord?” 

Kylo truthfully replied, “I don’t know why The Supreme Leader wanted to train me.”

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~

 

The Knights had not gone far to find their victim. The boy lived in the small city of Coll on the planet Coll-Moduru, a poorer planet only a few clicks from Moraband, one ignored by both the Republic and The First Order. Under Hutt rule at one time, even they seemed to have forgotten it.

They descended into the city, old, grey, brutalist buildings, bearing none of the towering splendor of Coruscant.

Mirra Ren said, “This place is horrid. Nothing but a crime-filled cesspool. What a waste of a planet.”

Kylo glowered at her as the ramp lowered. “Then be glad you never have to set foot on it again — stay here.”

“He was better off being a glorious gift to the Force than being condemned to live here for the rest of his miserable life.”

Kylo huffed, resisting the urge to slap that arrogance off her face with the butt of his lightsaber and carried Teague down the ramp.

“Ben, I can walk, you don’t have to carry me,” Teague said.

“Oh, sorry,” Kylo said, setting him on his feet. Teague pulled the cloak around him so he wouldn’t trip on it.

They walked down a few ill-maintained streets before Teague pointed to one of the many identical family dwellings. “I live there.”

Kylo knelt to meet the boy's eyes. “Okay, well, I, uh, I’m so sorry, Teague. I hope you never have to think about it again. They, uh, **we**  were awful to do that to you. I wish I could have prevented it.”

“I’ll be okay,” Teague said.

Some kids Teague's age came running up to them.

“Teague!"

"Where have you been!"

"You've been gone a week!"

"We looked everywhere!"

Kylo smiled, but he knew the poor kid would probably be deeply affected for the rest of his life. This wasn’t something anyone could just get over by saying that they were okay. He would have a hard time trusting anyone again, he would have difficulty sustaining relationships, he would have nightmares and uncontrollable anger, lashing out at loved ones, blaming them for not protecting him. Kylo saw Teague’s future, and it was as disheartening as Mirra Ren had said.

_No, the future isn’t set. That's only one possibility. I'm wrong. Please, let me be wrong._

Tears welled in Kylo's eyes and he turned to walk away as Teague’s friends gathered around, catching a glimpse over his shoulder of Teague’s mother running out of the house as well, scooping her son into her arms.

_He looks happy. They all look so happy. Please, please, let him be happy. Please, let him have a happy life._

 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The ending to this fic is coming soon, one or two more chapters (yes, I know I said that three chapters ago, I'm terrible at gauging what all will go into a chapter) and it is not going to be the happiest ending, so I wanted to give fair warning. This fic assumes that the events of TFA will still happen, more or less, just the backstory is different.


	22. Kylo Ren

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo's trip back to Moraband does not go uneventfully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had intended this to be part of the next chapter*, but I decided to break it up, so these will both be short. 
> 
> Warnings: violence, blood

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Kylo stormed into the shuttle, grabbed Mirra Ren by the front of her robes, and shoved her back against the bulkhead. “Why did you do it?”

On his feet in an instant, the Zabrak, who Kylo had learned earlier was named Tauluk Ren, ignited his lightsaber. Kylo yanked his hands out of the way of the slicing blade, releasing her.

“What? Fetch you a sacrifice? I told you why, Supreme Leader-”

“You tortured him and kept him locked up for who knows how long!”

“Were we supposed to give him luxury accommodations?” Mirra Ren said, sneering.

Tauluk, saber pointed at him, backed Kylo to the opposite side of the shuttle. “The cell we had him in was probably nicer than that hovel he lives in.”

“He was covered in bruises and lash wounds. There was no reason for that,” Kylo said.

“He attacked us when we brought him water,” Tauluk said.

“Good for him,” Kylo snarled.

“He was an insect that needed to be taught respect, just like you.” Mirra stepped closer to him. “And, in the end, he huddled in the corner in abject fear at the sound of my voice, just like you will.”

Kylo shook with anger. “You think you’re powerful because you beat up a little kid? Pathetic.”

“He didn’t deserve to live, and he didn’t deserve the special attention of our Supreme Leader, just like you don’t deserve it.”

“I don’t think it’s up to you to decide who gets the favor of the Supreme Leader,” Kylo said. “I see it—you’re jealous,”

“Jealous? Of what? A miserable nobody? A slave? A weak-willed rat who’s afraid of the Force? A thief who had to steal a lightsaber to get the attention of the Supreme Leader? I’m not jealous of you, I just want to crush you under my boot like the vermin you are. Or better yet, watch as the Supreme Leader crushes you under his.” She backed off and ordered the pilot, “Now, can we get back to Moraband, I’m tired of breathing the same air as this detestable low-life.”

The shuttle shuddered as the pilot engaged the engines and lifted off of the planet surface then entered into lightspeed once clear of the atmosphere.

Kylo decided he couldn’t take both of them in a fight, not when one of them already had his weapon drawn. They eyed each other, no one relaxing enough to blink, let alone sit. Tauluk Ren was not about to let his guard down and Mirra Ren tilted her head as if challenging Kylo to reach for his saber.

They would perceive the movement of his hand towards his weapon as a threat--any movement at all, really--and they wouldn’t be wrong. Rage churned in Kylo’s chest, flaring to his face, burning his ears, stinging his eyes. He wanted to hurt them as much as they had Teague. No, more so. He wanted to punish them for scarring such innocence. Harshly.

Kylo's hand twitched.

“Don’t even think it, Initiate.” Mirra Ren said, breaking the tense staredown.

Tauluk glanced at Mirra, “Well, he does have the heart of a Knight of Ren, the rage.”

“Yes, I think I see why the Supreme Leader is so enamored with you. To harness such rage, make it a focal point of power, hone it into a precision instrument, wield it as a weapon —” Mirra Ren tapped the lightsaber clipped to her belt. “-- just as we construct and wield these sabers.”

Kylo narrowed his eyes. She was goading him; he must keep in control; he breathed a long breath— _Keep control._

“Oh, you didn’t think he actually cared about you, did you? That he wanted to cultivate some potential in you for _your_ sake?” Her lips curved into a smile, brow knotting, her features screwing into an expression of delighted malice. “You are nothing to him but a tool, a weapon, a means to an end. And when your edge becomes chipped and dulled, he will toss you away for someone fresh and unspoiled.”

Knowing in his heart that she spoke the truth, but set on convincing himself she was merely provoking him, he hoped to perhaps beat her at her own game.

“Are you any different?”

Affronted, Mirra Ren stiffened her shoulders proudly and proclaimed as if to the universe, “We are devoted to the Force and fight for a righteous cause, to maintain balance and order. We ensure this power does not get stolen by those ill-prepared, or ideologically twisted, and so protect those who would be harmed by the disastrous consequences that would ensue. We believe in using the Force for the betterment of the galaxy as a whole.” Mirra Ren savored each word, reveling in what she truly believed to be virtuous doctrine. “We are willing to fight and die for the Supreme Leader because we maintain a purity of belief. Unwavering and incorruptible. Do you believe in anything? Anything at all?”

 _“_ Of course I do!” Kylo growled without actually having anything to follow it up with, but her accusation could not go unchallenged.

**_You believe in the Force...don’t you?_ **

_I believe it exists, and that it is powerful, and, and that it wants to...to control me._

**_No…_ **

_Yes, it wants to use me for its own, inscrutable purposes. When has that ever not been the case? When have I ever been in control?_

**_The Force controls your actions but obeys your commands. You were not in control but in command. Understand that. The Force will do your will._**

_My will. My will. Will do my will._

_I believe the Force will do my will._

_I believe the Force will do my will._

_I believe the Force will do my will._

“You have passion,” Mirra Ren said, “I’ll credit you that. But all that rage and power without focus is self-destructive. You could become a powerful Knight if you only had conviction.”

Kylo’s glare could have bored a hole right through her. “I do have conviction.”

Tauluk Ren, his weapon held steady on Kylo, said, “Ah, yes, there is such great Darkness in you, but you are too afraid to let go of foolish sympathy. And over something as worthless as that brat. You can’t help all of the dregs in the galaxy. Some things need to die so that others can thrive.”

Kylo shook his head, “You’re wrong. Hurting innocent people doesn't make things better!”

“Still so naive,” Mirra Ren said, “There are no innocent people. Darkness is part of our nature, part of the nature of the Force. Anyone who refuses to see that is far more dangerous than we are.”

“That doesn’t mean you should feed your Darkness. That you should kill your compassion,” Kylo said, his anger building inside him like magma about to burst forth from a thin layer of earth, rumbling, uncontainable and inescapable.

“Of course you feed it!” Mirra Ren clenched her fist. “That’s what strengthens your power. Compassion is a weakness. You are an utter fool, undeserving of the Force, undeserving of Knighthood.”

Just then, the shuttle exited lightspeed and Moraband appeared outside the viewports. Mirra Ren glanced at the quickly approaching planet, and, as if struck by an epiphany, turned back to face Kylo with a resolute gleam in her eye.

“I would dare say, I don’t think the Supreme Leader wanted you for an apprentice at all. I think you are a test--the Supreme Leader is testing _us_. Testing our honor and devotion to him.” 

She deftly lifted her saber from her belt and lit it. Kylo’s own lightsaber was in his hand and alight before he could take a step back. Blades clashed just as the shuttle shook entering Moraband’s atmosphere.

A storm raged outside, pelting the shuttle with sand and hail—while an even fiercer storm raged within. Kylo’s blade took the brunt of her blow. He steadied himself and pushed her back as Tauluk thrust his saber at him. Kylo ducked the attack, and swung his saber low, slicing Tauluk just below the knee. Tauluk toppled, dropping his saber, which remained lit, cutting into the floor.

Without a second to think, Kylo blocked Mirra’s next attack. She had gone for a decapitating swing—she aimed to kill—so Kylo didn’t show restraint—or mercy—either. Using his entire body in an upward lunge, he shoved her back, forcing her own blade within inches of her face. She roared and attempted to kick Kylo’s leg out from under him.

_Dirty move!_

Kylo stepped back to avoid the kick, noticing out of the corner of his eye Tauluk scrambling for his saber. He stomped on the Zabrak’s arm and snatched his saber from the floor just as Mirra charged him again. 

He parried with one saber and swung at her with the other, slashing the front of her robes. Mirra flicked her blade, reversing the parry. Kylo lost his grip on his saber hilt long enough for Mirra Ren to Force-pull it to her. 

He lunged at her with Tauluk’s lightsaber but the Zabrak, still on the floor, kicked the back of Kylo's knee with his uninjured leg, knocking him flat.

Mirra Ren backed close to the hatch controls, holding both sabers in front of her.

“I’d love to make you gravel at my feet,” She said as she slammed the butt of her saber hilt on the panel, opening the hatch, lowering the gangplank, “but I’ll settle for throwing you into this storm and letting the sands of Moraband swallow your corpse.”

Kylo scrambled to keep from being blown out, dropping Tauluk’s saber as red dust filled the cabin. The pilot shouted something drowned out by the rushing wind, probably an obscenity, as the shuttle listed.

Tauluk reached for his lightsaber, which slid towards the now completely extended gangplank. Kylo clung to the floor grating as the shuttle shook violently, tipping nearly vertical. The Zabrak’s lightsaber tumbled out into the tumult, fading to a dim red glow as it disappeared into the swirling storm, and its owner nearly followed it, but at the last second, he caught Kylo's leg. Tauluk Ren clawed at him as if he too wouldn't fall if Kylo lost his grip.

Kylo felt the power in him and around him crackle, wanting to be unleashed, or else break free. No. He couldn't let it. Not that way. Focus. Keep control.

_Keep control_

_Keep control_

_Keep control and the Force will do my will_

_... the Force will do my will_

_… the Force will do my will_

_... the Force will do my will_

_Do my will_

The pilot gained momentary control and righted the shuttle. Before Kylo could get Tauluk off him, Mirra Ren charged, attacking with both sabers the instant she had sure footing.

_Do my will!_

The Zabrak flew away from him at an upward angle as a crackling arc of purple electricity shot from Kylo's fingers, coiling around Tauluk and slamming him into the durasteel bulkhead, which crumpled from the impact, killing him instantly. Before Tauluk's body hit the floor, Kylo rolled out of the way as Mirra stabbed both blades into the floor. 

The shuttle dipped sharply to one side. Mirra Ren stumbled to keep her balance giving Kylo the opportunity to grab both of her wrists. She pushed and pulled against him, and in their struggle, the blades slashed into the floor, along the bulkhead, shattering a viewport, and pierced through the back of the cockpit—impaling the pilot. The shuttle abruptly jolted, tossed in the storm like it was made of paper, spinning, plunging towards the rocky terrain.

_Do my will_

_Do my will_

_Do my..._

_Do_ **_…_ **

**_..._ **

**_My will_ **

The Force surged through Kylo, Mirra Ren grimaced and gasped, her eyes turning blood red, as the Force crushed her ribcage.

“The pilot’s dead,” Kylo implored, “I can land us!”

“No,” Mirra spat, gritting her teeth.

**_Do my will._ **

“Please!”

“NO!”

“You’d rather die?” Kylo shouted.

Mirra Ren grinned as blood poured from her mouth. “I’m not the one dying today.”

**_Do. My. Will._ **

She spasmed, then went limp, dropping the lightsabers. Kylo released her wrists, letting her slump lifelessly to the floor. He dashed into the cockpit, flung the pilot's body out of the seat and took the controls.

He tipped the nose up and steadied the shuttle as best as he could. It shook against the barrage of wind and rain and sand. He couldn’t see through the storm, and Snoke’s mountain-top fortress appeared too suddenly to course correct. The shuttle hit the flat rock out-cropping and skidded along the fortress wall, grinding to an eventual halt.

It took a few moments for Kylo to acknowledge that he was in fact not dead. He shakily went back to the cabin. His saber had nearly burned through the floor. He picked it up and switched it off. He didn’t see Mirra’s lightsaber and determined that it had fallen out of the open hatch before his unceremonious crash landing.

Mirra and Tauluk's bodies lay sprawled awkwardly, almost humorously, from being tossed about. Kylo laughed, tears burning his cheeks.

_Was this my will? Did I want this? Or did the Force want it?_

The shuttle’s gangplank had bent and one of the hydraulic hinges had been torn off completely, making it impossible to take back into space.

He couldn't take the shuttle to escape--but what would he be escaping from? His destiny? That was also impossible. It was time to face destiny.

He dragged their bodies one at a time to the Temple, and pushed open the Temple doors, too exhausted to care about Snoke’s inevitable reaction.

As Kylo expected, Snoke awaited him, but to his surprise, he was not angry and bid him to approach.

”I bring you my sacrifice to the Dark Side,” Kylo said, laying the bodies at Snoke's feet.

_And I do not mean your two loyal servants. The Dark Side chose me as an instrument, a vessel to collect and channel the Force, to do its will. I must use the Dark Side or the Dark Side will use me. The Force is part of me and I am part of the Force, I understand that. I can' t fight it or deny it. I will use the Dark Side, violence, death, without hesitation or fear, as it all is part of the Force. But in accepting that, I must sacrifice something of myself._

“Death is as important as life in the balance of the Force, violence as much as peace,” Snoke said.

Kylo nodded.

Snoke smiled. “I knew I did not choose wrongly. Hand me your saber and kneel, my apprentice.” Kylo obeyed. Snoke lightly touched the blade to Kylo’s shoulder, just singeing the fabric. “By the Will of the Force, you are henceforth to be known as Kylo Ren, Knight of Ren.”

 

 ~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

—————————————————

Ch 23 - Hi, Hux - preview

——————————————————

 

 

Two standard years passed before Kylo returned to the Finalizer. The First Order had been hard at work on its new super-weapon, a giant, planet-destroying cannon built into a planet itself—aptly named Starkiller-- which The Finalizer now orbited.

Hux had been informed of Kylo’s arrival weeks before, and he had a hard time focusing on his duties. He had the largest emissary suite prepared for him with the nicest linens that the First Order had available.

He went to greet Kylo upon his arrival. His heart pounded as he nervously fumbled with his gloves, taking them off, putting them in the pockets of his great coat, flexing his fingers, then putting them on again, unsure if he should be more or less formal.

Kylo’s shuttle glided into the docking bay, a beautiful new Command Shuttle, and Hux felt a twinge of jealousy—his own Command Shuttle wasn't that nice. He brushed his sleeves and rocked onto his heels. The ramp opened and took an excruciatingly long time to lower.  

At the back of his mind he hoped that Kylo would come bounding down the ramp, beaming, hair bouncing, and jump into his arms. But, finally, he saw him at the top of the gangplank, a hooded figure, dressed in black, wearing a black mask. Not a single inch of skin showed.

Formal it is, then. Hux hastily donned his gloves. Immensely disappointed that he couldn’t see Kylo’s face or look into his eyes or run his fingers through his hair, Hux greeted him in a way that sounded as if he wasn’t entirely sure if it was really him.

“Kylo?”

“General Hux.”

The mask distorted his voice, making it deep and inhuman. The cold tone crushed Hux’s heart. He had desperately wanted to hear Kylo call him “my love” once more.

“I-I have your chamber ready,” Hux said. “I would like to escort you myself.”

Kylo nodded and walked next to Hux. Hux noted that Kylo seemed to be a few inches taller, and either he'd gotten a lot broader, too, or his bulky clothing greatly exaggerated his size.

Hux had wanted nothing more than to be with Kylo all these months, but now that he was right there next to him, walking close enough that their arms brushed, he couldn’t even start a conversation. He felt woozy. His chest tightened. He wanted to confess how much he had missed Kylo, but also wanted Kylo to say it first.

Neither said anything until they reached Kylo’s chamber when Hux asked, “Is there anything further you require?”

“No.”

Kylo entered his chamber, and the door closed behind him.

 

~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *no smut this time, but it's coming ...


	23. Hi, Hux

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>  He lay on the perfectly turned out bed. The room was quiet except for the dull hum of the ship. He rolled over and felt the cool sheet beside him. The bed was comfortable enough—he hadn't slept in a real bed since he left the Finalizer —but it felt big and cold and lonely...
> 
> ...but he didn't miss him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you're all here for the smut*, so it's smutty smut time!
> 
> Chapter warnings: Anal sex, Anilingus, light bondage, rope bondage.
> 
>  
> 
> *And sadness. Sadness smut.

 

~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~

 

Two standard years passed before Kylo returned to _The Finalizer_. The First Order had been hard at work on its new super-weapon, a giant, planet-destroying cannon built into a planet itself—aptly named Starkiller -- which _The_ _Finalizer_ now orbited.

Hux had been informed of Kylo’s arrival weeks before, and the anticipation had made it difficult to fully focus on his duties.

He had the largest emissary suite prepared for him with the nicest linens that the First Order had available.

He went to greet Kylo upon his arrival. His heart pounded as he nervously fumbled with his gloves, taking them off, putting them in the pockets of his great coat, flexing his fingers, then putting them on again, unsure if he should be more or less formal.

Kylo’s shuttle glided into the docking bay, a beautiful new Command Shuttle, and Hux felt a twinge of jealousy—his own Command Shuttle wasn't that nice. He brushed his sleeves and rocked onto his heels. The ramp opened and took an excruciatingly long time to lower.  

At the back of his mind he hoped that Kylo would come bounding down the ramp, beaming, hair bouncing, and into jump his arms. But, finally, he saw him at the top of the gangplank, a hooded figure, dressed in black, wearing a black mask. Not a single inch of skin showed.

Formal it is, then. Hux hastily donned his gloves. Immensely disappointed that he couldn’t see Kylo’s face or look into his eyes or run his fingers through his hair, Hux greeted him in a way that sounded as if he wasn’t entirely sure if it was really him.

“Kylo?”

“General Hux.”

The mask distorted his voice, making it deep and inhuman. The cold tone crushed Hux’s heart. He had desperately wanted to hear Kylo call him “my love” once more.

“I-I have your chamber ready,” Hux said. “I would like to escort you myself.”

Kylo nodded and walked next to Hux. Hux noted that Kylo seemed to be a few inches taller, and either he'd gotten a lot broader, too, or his bulky clothing greatly exaggerated his size.

Hux had wanted nothing more than to be with Kylo all these months, but now that he was right there next to him, walking close enough that their arms brushed, he couldn’t even start a conversation. He felt woozy. His chest tightened. He wanted to confess how much he had missed Kylo, but also wanted Kylo to say it first.

Neither said anything until they reached Kylo’s chamber when Hux asked, “Is there anything further you require?”

“No.”

Kylo entered his chamber, and the door closed behind him.

 

                                                                                                                                                                                  

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

 

He lay on the perfectly turned out bed. The room was quiet except for the dull hum of the ship. He rolled over and felt the cool sheet beside him. The bed was comfortable enough—he hadn't slept in a real bed since he left the _Finalizer_ —but it felt big and cold and lonely.

He kept thinking about Hux and how close he was now, just down the hall, probably asleep. He hadn't really missed him during his training, having had other, more immediate and weighty matters occupying his mind.

Snoke’s training had been punishing, and not just physically. Snoke had shown him painful truths, and he was having to come to grips with his legacy, his destiny. He had learned why the Dark Side chose him, and while it had been devastating initially, now gave him some sense of purpose, but he also felt that he would never be able to live up to the potential Snoke wanted.

But now, memories flooded him of how warm Hux felt in his arms. How good Hux could make him feel. He hadn’t felt good for a long time.

Not that he didn’t attend to himself now and then, when he needed a release, but he never found it satisfying, or even pleasurable. His fantasies always came to involve Hux dominating him, but he could never make himself feel as good as the real Hux could and he ended up feeling ashamed and unfulfilled. Like an ache or itch that couldn't be alleviated, or a hook in his brain that kept pulling him to those thoughts. And now that Hux was so close, that same hook tugged at him.

But, he didn’t miss him.

And Hux didn't seem to miss him, either. He had said barely two sentences to him, and seemed nervous—but at least not resentful. Kylo only observed his surface emotions and did not delve deeper, or try to mentally influence him, he felt he owed Hux that. He recalled the things he had made Hux do, and not do, and wondered if Hux knew--if he had become aware of his mind tricks--and if he had, would he ever forgive him. Hux desired companionship but demanded loyalty, and Kylo betrayed his trust. Would he even want him now?

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

_tap tap tap_

At first, Hux thought he was hearing things, it was so faint.

 

He had been unable to sleep, so attempted to go over some reports, but also failed at that. He had anticipated this day for a long time, but the reality was not as he envisioned and ended up being as heartbreaking as the day Kylo left.

His brain had been buzzing: Maybe it could still work. Their old relationship was over, but maybe they could fashion a new one. It would be difficult if Kylo refused to say more to him than single syllable sentences. It would take more work than Hux might have wanted. But, maybe...

_tap tap tap_

He took a moment to identify the sound, a shy tapping on his door.

Strange.

Hux was used to being contacted during his normal sleep for important matters regarding the ship or the fleet or the Starkiller project, but not like this. Usually, he would receive an alert or message, or, if it was urgent enough to send a messenger directly to his door, the messenger would at least use the intercom.

But perhaps it was some low-ranking officer who didn’t know the protocol. Regardless, anyone at his door at this hour better have a good reason. That is: they _would_ have a good reason or they would have hell to pay.

Although he hated to be seen out of uniform, he didn’t want to miss the opportunity to chastise an imprudent officer and answered the door still in his robe.

He opened the door fully prepared to give whoever was on the other side a proper verbal thrashing, but when he saw those familiar eyes gazing at him with such pitiful longing his irritation instantly gave way to elation and he couldn’t stop himself from hugging the man standing before the threshold, nor could he stop the tears from streaming down his face.

“Hi, Hux,” Kylo said, giving him a gentle squeeze. “May I come in?”

“Oh! Of course!” Hux reluctantly let go of him and tried to wipe his eyes surreptitiously.

Kylo said, “Did I wake you?”

“Yes, I mean, no. Honestly, I couldn’t sleep-”

Kylo leaned in to kiss him. “Me neither.”

Running his fingers through Kylo’s hair, Hux tilted his head to meet the kiss.

"I hope I'm not bothering you," Kylo said when their lips parted.

"You're not," Hux breathed, going in for another kiss.

Kylo lowered the shoulder of Hux’s robe to kiss along his neck and without another word, they made their way to the bed, undressing each other.

Kylo had grown much more muscular since Hux had first seen him displayed on that auction stage, bought him, brought him to this room, and draped the lean and lanky boy in his robe. His robe probably wouldn't even fit all the way around him now. Scars crisscrossed his entire body—some bright, shiny magenta, others pale and fading, others recently scabbed over. He obviously hadn’t bothered getting bacta treatments. Hux ran his hand down Kylo’s broad chest, carefully tracing his fingers around them.

_What has Snoke done to you? I wanted you to be safe; I could have kept you safe. Why would you choose this over me?_

“Don’t be afraid to touch me,” Kylo said.

“They look so painful,” Hux said.

“It’s okay,” Kylo said.

Hux brushed his hand over one of the gnarled scars on his chest. “Lightsaber?”

“Vibro-lance,” Kylo said.

Hux touched a faint white, zig-zag pattern on his shoulder.

“This looks like a shock-baton.”

“Not quite, Mon Cala eel.”

Hux’s hand made its way along Kylo’s clavicle to his neck. He recognized the chain immediately.

“You’re still wearing this.”

“Yes,” Kylo said, “As a reminder of who I was."

“Is that something you would forget?”

“If I wait to find out, I might lose it forever,” Kylo said.

Whatever teachings the Knights of Ren and Snoke were inculcating him with had made Kylo endlessly gloomy. So, maybe he indeed needed a reminder of who he used to be.

Hux began kissing Kylo’s chest, still marveling that this beast of a man used to be that thin, awkward boy.

“Would it help if I tied you up?” he said, but only half-jokingly.

Kylo pushed Hux off. “No.”

“I’m just kidding,” Hux said.

Kylo sat up, kicking Hux out of the way so that he could get off the bed.

Hux grabbed his arm. “Wait. I’m sorry. It was a joke.”

“I don’t want to forget— it's important not to forget— but I don’t want to relive it,” Kylo said.

“I’m sorry. Please don’t leave.” Hux slid his arms around him. “I missed you so much. When you left, that was the worst day of my life, and when you came back and were so distant, I thought it was too late, that Snoke had…I don’t know, brainwashed you or something...but when you came to my door...I don't think I've ever been happier. And I’ll do anything to make you stay.”

Kylo pushed Hux back onto the bed, pinning him down.

“You don't get it, do you? I know you'll do anything! I remember what you did to keep me and I know what you would have done,” Kylo growled. “That's why I had to leave.”

Kylo easily had the strength to hold him down, so Hux barely attempted to resist.

“I do get it. You were corrupted by Snoke, and I tried to stop it, but I couldn’t. You were too powerful and too stubborn to know what was for your own good,” Hux said. “I know what you did to my mind. I'm not an idiot. After you left, I thought about it and I realized what you had done. If I think about those last few months before you left, my head hurts so much I have to throw up. So I've been forced to not think about it— I’ve been forced to not think about you. And it kills me.”

Kylo let Hux sit up. “Snoke didn’t corrupt me, he helped me understand my power. But you’re right about the rest. I didn’t know how to use it, only that I could use it. I didn’t know it would hurt you, and I didn’t know it would be so persistent after all this time. I'm sorry.”

“Stop it, Kylo, just stop with the false remorse. You were hoping I would never find out,” Hux said.

Kylo said, “I understand if you cannot forgive me for my betrayal of trust, but…”

_Now that we've damaged each other beyond repair, we might as well accept that we are broken and move on._

“Does it matter if I forgive you? You didn't come here to apologize.” Hux kissed the back of his neck and threaded his fingers through his hair, then clenched them tightly. “You came here because you want me to fuck you.”

Kylo shivered and leaned into Hux's hand compliantly.

“And I want to fuck you,” Hux continued. “So, what's the problem?”

Kylo let Hux pull him slowly back down. Hux leaned on him, reaching past his head to grab something he'd stashed between the mattress and headboard. A rope.

“You want me to tie you up,” Hux said, lifting one of Kylo's arms above his head and wrapping the rope around his wrist. Kylo let him.

_Yes, you do. You could stop me. Mind control me. Without a doubt, overpower me. You threatened to leave when I joked about this, but I show a hint of dominance, and here you are, as docile as can be. You don't want to be asked, you want to be told. That's what you crave._

Drawing Kylo’s other arm up and binding it, Hux firmly said, “This is what you want.”

Kylo’s eyelids closed. He muttered something under his breath that sounded a lot like "yes".

“I should have known better than to try to win you back with softness. You don't want gentleness—the way you wear these scars like badges of honor. I could never bear to see you marked, but you seem to revel in it.”

"No," Kylo said, “I need reminders.”

“You need _all_ these reminders?” Hux chuckled, “Or did you keep them to punish yourself? Or, worse yet, to punish me? By ruining something I love?”

“You still love me? Does that mean you forgive me?” Kylo asked.

“No, Kylo, I might forgive you for fucking with my mind, but I will never forgive you for doing this to yourself,” Hux said.

“I didn't do this to myself,” Kylo whispered.

“You did.” Hux straddled him around the waist.

_I know how bloody stubborn you are, and selfish. Even if you didn’t cause them directly, you want them. You want some control over your life, but you don’t have it and keeping these scars is a vain attempt to pretend that you do._

_What did Snoke promise you? Power? Prestige? Well, that all comes at a price: you are nothing but his servant now. So, is it really better to be his slave instead of mine?_

Hux leaned forward to look into Kylo’s eyes and Kylo turned his head away.

Hux said, stroking Kylo’s cheek, “At least your beautiful face is untouched. And you haven’t done something stupid to your hair— I heard a rumor that you’d shaved it off.”

He kissed his cheek, then his neck, slithering down his body, grinding along the bump that was Kylo’s stiffening cock. Kylo yelped. Hux covered his mouth with his hand and Kylo’s tongue poked between the fingers prompting Hux to push them between Kylo's lips and make him suck on them.

Hux then continued to glide his tongue down Kylo's torso, and when he reached the lower abdomen, spread Kylo’s knees. Bending them and holding them up to have the best access, he knelt between Kylo's legs and began ravenously munching his asshole, stopping to nip an inner thigh or buttock, or suck a ripe berry, then back at it again. Kylo wiggled and wormed, but it wasn’t so much a struggle than maneuvering to enhance the stimulation.

Hux then used his fingers. Kylo jolted as if he’d been hit with an electric shock.

“It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” Hux said, probing further. He shivered excitedly. It _had_ been a while, and it certainly felt like Kylo hadn’t kept himself primed down there, so he would be as tight as a virgin.

Hux grabbed the lube and hurriedly greased himself up, positioned Kylo’s legs, pushing them up a bit for the smoothest entry, and eased in. He savored every inch of the hot, and very tight, passage. Kylo shook and groaned loudly. Once all the way in, Hux paused to enjoy the feeling of being inside his lover once again. However, Kylo did not seem to share his sentiment; his eyes were pinched closed and he had a pained grimace on his face. Hux pulled out and entered him again to delight in that sensation a second time. Then a third time. Then a fourth.

“It’s like taking your virginity all over again,” Hux muttered, then smirked. “Although, as I recall, when I took your virginity, you came before I was even all the way in.”

"Just fucking get on with it! I came here to be fucked, remember?" Kylo hissed.

Hux began a slow, sensuous rhythm. He watched Kylo's face as his cheeks flushed but Kylo wouldn't return the gaze and stared at the ceiling. Hux pushed Kylo's legs up higher to change the angle, lifting up on one leg in a lunging motion, dipping almost straight down.

"Ah!" That hit a sweet spot. Hux hit that spot repeatedly. Kylo grunted and groaned and panted with pleasure, but still refused to look at him. When his legs began to wobble from that tiring position, Hux bent over to try to kiss him, and when Kylo turned his head, Hux caught his lower lip with his teeth. He let go when he tasted blood.

Fuming, Hux slammed into him as rapidly and roughly as he could. The headboard banged into the wall, and the bed creaked like it would break apart. Hux's hips slapped Kylo's butt cheeks hard enough to bruise and Kylo tried twisting this way and that to ease the repeated hammering. To stop his writhing, Hux shoved Kylo against the headboard, pressing his thighs up as far as they would go.

“Ngh! Ngh!” Hux gritted his teeth, the friction burning past the point of pleasure. He didn’t stop, though. If Kylo came here to be fucked, and didn’t want soft touches or tender kisses or even to look at him, then by all that was damned, he was going to fuck him. And, in emphasis, he began rubbing Kylo's dribbling cock with equal fervor. 

“Ahh! Ah! Ah!”  Kylo cried out as he spurted onto his belly.

Hux gave a few more hard thrusts, shuddering as he also climaxed.

 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

 

_Fuck_

 

Kylo twitched, sweaty and panting, his body trembling.

Hux slid out of him and his anus quivered, reflexively clenching around something no longer there, he ached for more. Such a blissful, rapturous wave had not washed over him like that since...since well before he’d left, since before the whole business of manipulating Hux's mind.

_Fuck_

His mind and body had gotten swept up in the moment, and as he came down, his thoughts and feelings had a chance to catch up. 

_How is it possible? How can you make me feel so good while being so hurtful? Why do I let you? What’s wrong with me? Why did I come back to you?_

He squirmed, his arms tingled.

“I’ll untie you after I get a thank-you kiss,” Hux said, pushing a strand of sweat-soaked hair away from his eyes.

“Untie me first,” Kylo said.

Hux looked at him for a moment and Kylo continued to divert his gaze, sucking his bleeding lip.

“Ah, been practicing the art of negotiations?”

He loosened the knot, allowing Kylo to slip his hands out.

Kylo got up and gave Hux the slightest possible kiss.

“Thank you,” he said bluntly, then snatched up Hux’s robe and wiped his belly with it before gathering up his strewn-about clothes.

“Stay,” Hux said, blocking the door. “Just for the night. I’ll make you breakfast in the morning.”

Kylo didn't mean to look Hux squarely in the eyes. He knew that would be a mistake. But he did. And they shone like a moon, lonely and sincere.

"Please?"

 

_Fuck_

 

———————————————

 

Hux pulled the comforter over both of them, easing closer and closer to Kylo until their heads shared one pillow.

“Thank you, My Love,” Hux muttered, half asleep.

_Do you still think you love me?_

Hux’s breathing and occasional snores felt... not exactly comforting, but like ...home?

_No, there is no home. Only a warped, fractured reflection of a half-forgotten story I heard a long time ago about home. Where someone loves you and you love them and that's all either of you ever wanted._

_What you and I feel is not love._

_Violence makes you hard, violence and domination._

_And...me too. So much power in violence. How could anyone not be impassioned by that?_

_But you mistake that for love._

_You wanted a naive child that you could instill with a fierce devotion to the First Order, your own personal worshipper and a savage servant who would decimate a village at the snap of your fingers, then that same brutal monster would fall to its knees and with a soft tongue lap gently your cock._

_I am not that naive child or fierce devotee. I will not worship you._

_I will not love you._

Hux’s arm slid around him as he nestled his head under Kylo's chin, breathing softly on his neck. Kylo put his arm around Hux's back. Hux was warm, but not too warm. It did feel like home. **_Real_ ** home. A place you can't escape no matter how long you’ve been gone. That other vague, idyllic notion of 'home' didn't really exist.

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

  
Kylo kicked his leg out, then sat up stiffly with a groan. Hux had been sitting at the table drinking caff, waiting for him to wake up.

“Sleep well?” Hux asked.

Kylo turned his head, wincing, then rubbed his shoulder. “Uh, not really, I think your bed must be too soft.”

Hux’s bed was as firm as they came, and the First Order’s were firmer than most.

“What have you been sleeping on, stone planks?” Hux laughed.

“Well, yeah,” Kylo said, putting on his clothes.

“I don't have much, I haven't done a lot of cooking since you've been gone,” Hux said, getting the cooking implements out. “I have some dried eggs and caff.”

Kylo said, “The ration bars I’ve been eating taste like a tree branch, so eggs and caff sound really good.”

Hux mixed up the eggs, poured the caff and sat across from Kylo. He imagined poor Kylo eating sticks, sleeping on rocks, beaten with every kind of weapon, and even dunked into a tank of electric eels. They were strict in the First Order, but whatever kind of training Snoke had inflicted on Kylo crossed the line into barbarism.

“How is... your training?” He asked, but almost immediately regretted it.

“I’m a Knight, now...whatever that’s worth,” Kylo said, trailing off wistfully.  

Not meaning to say it out loud, Hux muttered, “I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Kylo asked.

 _I’m sorry for being powerless against Snoke. I didn’t want the Supreme Leader to do this. I didn’t want him to take you away. I didn’t want him to make you...this--this dark, brooding creature._ _  
_

“Are you sorry that I couldn’t be the thing _you_ wanted me to be?” Kylo said.

“It’s not that, it’s…” Hux sipped his caff uneasily. _It’s exactly that._

“Well, I’m sorry, too, then,” Kylo said, throwing his fork down on the table and kicking his chair back. “I’m sorry I came to you last night. It was a moment of weakness. I thought you could give me something I needed. But, I was **_wrong_**.” He strode to the door, turning back only to say, “I will **_never_** need you.”

Hux hurled his caff cup after him-- it shattered on the closing door.

“You selfish asshole!”

 _I know you don’t need me—_ _  
__I need you._

  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alternative title: Hi, Hux; Bye, Hux


	24. Goodnight, My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He hadn’t seen Kylo’s face since the morning he’d stormed out. And Hux sometimes wondered if it was still him under the heavy layers of black raiment, behind the dark mask. He wondered if it was worth it to try to win him back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the last chapter. I'm posting with whatever mistakes it has because I am so happy I actually finished it, I just want to post it right away! I've finally made it to the end :) It feels nice, but in kind of a sad, wistful way. It's not a super exciting ending, and I made it open-ended. But, hopefully, it's adequate enough. I have enjoyed writing it, and I am so amazed that so many people have read it. <3 <3 <3
> 
> Note: sorry for any errors, I'll try to get back and give it another proof-read
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: Sex -- Yup, naked body sex. (shocking, I know)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

He hadn’t seen Kylo’s face since the morning he’d stormed out. And Hux sometimes wondered if it was still him under the heavy layers of black raiment, behind the dark mask. He wondered if it was worth it to try to win him back.

Now that Kylo was permanently stationed on _The Finalizer,_ they could spend their off-duty time together — if Kylo so desired. But he _seemed_ to avoid Hux whenever he could, in that he pretended to avoid Hux while also making his presence, in some cases quite unsubtly, evident to him.

On the rare occasion that Kylo would briefly speak to him, he always sounded distant — distracted, perhaps. Their interactions strictly involved upcoming attacks or other strategic plans and usually consisted of Kylo relaying orders from the Supreme Leader — orders that Hux had invariably already been informed of by other means — then stalking away like he had more important places to be, only to be a flash in Hux’s peripheral vision not long after.

Kylo had said that he didn’t need Hux, would never need him, but would he constantly find reasons to be near him if that were true?

Hux once managed to catch Kylo in an isolated hallway.

“I want to talk about … us. Can we get together, privately? Perhaps tonight?” Hux asked.

“No, General,” Kylo answered. Then, as if to soften the rejection, added, “I have a mission to prepare for.”

And so it went for several weeks, Kylo floating around _The Finalizer_ like a mysterious shadow, Hux catching sight of him out of the corner of his eye, only to turn and see him vanish around a corner. Hux would try to speak to him for longer than two minutes whenever he could manage, without seeming too desperate, and Kylo would tell him that he was preparing for a mission.

Then Snoke sent Kylo on this clandestine mission he had spoken of — which Hux assumed had been a ruse to shirk a private conversation with him.

A few days later, Hux heard that Kylo and the Knights of Ren had destroyed the New Jedi Temple, and the sole survivor, the Master Jedi Luke Skywalker, had fled to regions unknown.

Snoke advanced Kylo to the rank of Master of the Knights of Ren.

Hux was not invited to the ceremony.

He didn’t even find out about it until he overheard Captain Phasma and some other officers talking about celebrating in the Officers’ Lounge when their shifts ended.

Perturbed and somewhat unsettled that he did not know about every occurrence on board the ship, even if it took place during his officers’ off-duty time, he approached them and sternly said, “I believe you have duties to attend to. After-shift plans can be discussed after shift.”

As they dispersed, he stopped Phasma to ask, “Out of curiosity, what’s the occasion?”

“Kylo Ren’s advancement to Master Knight, of course,” Phasma told him.

“Of course.”

 

Hux found Kylo on the command deck standing in front of the main viewport looking out at empty space. He wore the mask, but instead of a cowl, a long cape draped across his shoulders. He must have been in deep contemplation because he didn't make an effort to skulk away as he usually did when Hux approached.

“Congratulations, Ren.”

Kylo turned to face him but didn’t respond. And that detestable mask hid his expression. Confusion? Annoyance? Offense? Any guess was as likely as any other.

“... on your new rank,” Hux clarified.

“Hmm...thank you,” Kylo responded as if to something so trivial that he had forgotten.

“Would it be all right if I joined you and Captain Phasma tonight?” Hux asked.

Kylo tilted his head slightly like he didn’t know what he was talking about.

Hux gave him a thin smile. “Phasma said you were going to celebrate with some drinks in the Officers’ Lounge. I’d like to come. With your permission, of course.”

After a pause, Kylo responded, “General, my rank notwithstanding, you don’t need my permission to go to the Officers’ Lounge.”

Hux pressed his lips together.

_You always have to be so frustratingly difficult, don’t you?_

“I hadn’t been informed of your advancement until just a few minutes ago — which I’m sure was unintentional, as you have obviously been quite preoccupied,” Hux said. “As such, I wasn’t able to get you a timely gift. So at least give me the honor of buying you a drink.”

Kylo turned back to look out the viewport, and after a moment, said, “Very well.”

“Great!” Hux said, clasping his hands together. “I’ll meet you here at the end of my shift, and we’ll go together?”

“....that’s fine.”

“Wear that cape, it suits you much better than the hood,” Hux said.

He tried not to make his voice sound too giddy, but Hux was thrilled. For the remainder of his shift, he had to consciously keep the corners of his mouth from turning up. He tried to keep Kylo within eyesight, but not to the point of neglecting his duties, and Kylo did manage to disappear when the general was called away for a trooper inspection.

He did, however, leave his shift ten minutes early so that he could hurry to his quarters, take a quick shower and change into fresh clothes before heading out to meet Kylo.

He paced the command deck, overly worried that he had splashed on too much cologne in his excitement. But his worry quickly switched to a more serious matter when, after pacing a while, there was no sign of Kylo. A terrible thought passed over his mind: maybe Kylo decided to stand him up. He hadn't sounded too pleased about the celebratory get-together, which Phasma had probably arranged and guilted Kylo into attending, and maybe he decided not to go at all.

He could have kicked himself for letting himself get too happy about tonight. All that anticipation for nothing.

_I'm such a fool. He stood me up. He's probably brooding in his room. Probably knowing the pain he caused me. Too obstinate to admit he wants to be with me. And hurting himself because he wants to hurt me. Stubborn idiot._

He paced a while longer. Maybe he ought to go to Kylo's suite and drag him out. Kylo had been practically haunting him, making a focused effort to be ever-present and at the same time, prevent Hux from enjoying his company. He was being too overt in showing Hux how much he ‘didn’t need him’.

He decided that he would: Both drag Kylo out for a delightful evening and enjoy his company.

 

 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

 

 

Kylo stood in front of the narrow mirror in his chamber. The figure who faced him, that had been a facade to hide behind, had somehow become a part of who he was: a dark instrument of the Force, a fearsome monster, faceless but for an expressionless mask, passionless but for anger. He didn't even have a will of his own; that belonged to the Force. And to Snoke.

He didn’t want to look at his own, human face because it reminded him of someone he loathed. Ben Solo. _Pitiful, weak, vulnerable._

_I am Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren. Son of darkness. Enforcer of The Dark Side. This is my destiny._

The Dark Side chose him, gave him strength, made him fearsome and fierce and powerful beyond the abilities of ordinary beings. There were few Force users in the galaxy, and fewer still would ever match his potential.

He had defeated the most powerful Jedi known.

(Defeated, but not destroyed. That would come. Eventually.)

He knew much of the Force and yet felt like he could spend a lifetime of practice and study and still never know all its mysteries.

Of all the things that weighed on his mind presently, General Hux ought to take nothing but a speck of his attention.

But he didn’t.

He occupied most of Kylo’s thoughts.

Kylo frequently found himself watching Hux, following him from a distance as he attended his duties, like a toy pulled by a string.

 _You’re stronger than him_ . _He has no power over you._

The dark reflection stared, eyeless, at him.

_You have a dark power that he could never imagine. Why do you follow him around like he’s the only thing that can give you oxygen? Pathetic! Weak and pathetic!_

He pulled the mask off and looked closely into the mirror.

When a Force user is fully embraced by the Dark Side, their eyes become a burning yellow-red.

His were not.

“Stop being weak and foolish!” He growled. The reflection bared its teeth in an affected mockery. He saw the child behind the mask, afraid and unsure, pretending to be strong.

Except...

Why did he need to pretend?

He _was_ strong —  strong in the Force and his training had made him physically strong — so why was he still afraid? Why was he uncertain? Why did he feel like an imposter?

He shook back his hair and pulled the helmet on.

“I am Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren.”

He said it out loud, with conviction. It felt good to say it. That title had weight to it.

But…

But it wouldn’t to the person who mattered most. The person that, even now, with his title, with his strength, Kylo felt enslaved to. He didn’t technically outrank the general, but he didn’t have to obey any commands he gave, either. Only Snoke had authority over him. He was subordinate to no one else.

Why then? Why did he get a tremble in his gut whenever he spoke to him? Why did his legs shake and his mind go blank?

 _Because you_ **_hate_ ** _him. You hate him with every fiber of your being._

Then why did he find himself wanting to watch him? Wanting to … be near him? Did he... actually...need...

_No._

_No, you don’t need him._

No,

He didn't need him. He hated him.

But,

He wanted him...

 

_If I want him, does that mean I want to love him? Does it mean I want him to love me?_

 

He hated himself for wanting him.

He hated himself for wanting to love him. And he hated himself for wanting Hux to love him, too.

He had tried so many times to convince Hux that he couldn't force someone to love him, while Hux would insist that Kylo did love him. This would prove to be an unwinnable argument because he did at least desire him physically and they would invariably end up in each other's arms, Hux whispering to him how dearly he loved him. And how much of a monster would he be not to return such a sincere, tear-filled sentiment? Particularly when he felt that way, too?

Why deny him?

Why deny himself?

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

Hux nearly ran right into Kylo as he rounded a corner, heading towards Kylo’s suite at something of a brisk trot.

“Oh! I was just coming to check that you hadn’t forgotten the time,” he said, straightening his jacket.

“I appreciate that, General,” Kylo said, continuing past him.

Hux spun on his heel and matched Kylo’s stride.

_His rank has gone immediately to his head. Look at the fool, trying to stay a full pace in front of me._

_You look ridiculous, you know —_ Hux wanted to say. But Kylo looked quite majestic, with his _very_ well tailored leather pants and cape flowing behind him. He noticed a few nicks in his helmet that hadn't been there before. But that hint of brutishness added to the dashing ensemble. Of course, Kylo’s tall, broad outline added to it, too.

He glanced down.

_I knew it! Lifted boots! You really are ridiculous!_

“You look...good. I like the cape. It demands respect,” he said. 

“Thank you,” Kylo said, his voice distorted by his mask.

That would have to come off, Hux thought, wishing he could see Kylo’s face and flowing hair as he strode next to him. 

He inched closer, not quite enough to brush Kylo's arm, making sure his footfalls were a smidgen ahead of Kylo's.

_You know, I take it all back. We actually make quite an intimidating pair._

 

 

Phasma, already a drink or two in, judging by her demeanor, greeted Kylo when they walked into the Lounge. Quite loudly.

“There’s the man himself! Congratulations, Master Knight!”

The other officers in the crowded lounge cheered.

Kylo removed his mask. Hux bit back a smile; Kylo's face was just as beautiful as ever and, more adorably, he was blushing! 

“Thank you, Phasma,” he said as she shook his hand, then placed in it a glass mug half-filled with a pale green, pungent alcohol.

“What is it?”

“A Bavrakian Lightning Bomb,” she said.

He started to take a sip, but she held up her hand to stop him. “Wait, that’s just the Bavrakia part, here comes the Lightning!” She grabbed two shots of glistening blue _something_ from the bar. “Okay, here’s how to do it, you drop this in, then you have to drink it before it all explodes out, right?”

“What do you mean explodes?” He asked, but she had already dropped a shot into his glass. It fizzed, small bursts of purple crackled in the green liquid.

“Don’t look at it all day, drink it!” Phasma said, dropping a shot into her own glass and downing it in one chug.

His glass erupted with purple, sparking foam overflowing the rim. He sucked on it, but it sparked on his lips and the foam kept expanding, spilling onto the floor. Phasma laughed at him as he tried to keep the foam at bay.

“Ha! You may be a Master Knight now, but I’m still queen of the Bavrakian Lightning Bomb!” She slapped him on the back as he began coughing, only able to finish about half of the drink.

“Yes, Phasma, yes you are,” he coughed. “I bow to the Queen!”

He bent forward in an overly dramatic gesture and handed back the glass, the liquid in it still sparking and fizzing but with much less intensity.

 

Hux had already taken a seat. Kylo set his mask on a table next to Phasma’s helmet and he and Phasma joined him.

“Good evening, General, feeling brave enough to tackle the Lightning Bomb tonight?” She asked, brandishing Kylo's mug.

“Oh, no, Captain, I prefer drinks that I can actually drink.”

“That was kind of a mean trick," Kylo said, still coughing a bit.

“It was actually sort of a test. It's good to know that all _that_...” she waved her hand through the air, indicating ‘The Force’, “...didn’t make you, I don’t know...in-human or something.”

Kylo shook his head. “To tell the truth, there was no alcohol tolerance training at all.”

She grinned. “Nope, you haven’t changed a bit, have you?”

“I would hope that I would have! That was a lot of hard work! I may not be able to down an electrified beverage, but I can mud-wrestle a rancor!”

“I’d pay to see that,” Phasma said. “We'll have to spar again soon. I want to see first hand if you're one-tenth that good.”

“Sure thing!” Kylo said confidently, “But be prepared to get your butt kicked!”

“No cheating with the-” She wiggled her fingers.

“The Force, Phasma, it’s called the Force.”

“Whatever. No _mumbo-jumbo_ ,” she said, emphasizing with her hands that the Force was simultaneously too overwhelming and too absurd to say even its name.

Leaning back, he said, “Well, sometimes, it does what it wants-”

The glass slid off of the table, but Phasma, her reflexes seemingly keener when intoxicated, caught it without spilling a drop.

"Ha-ha!" She said, swallowing the unfinished drink.

"You're too quick for me," Kylo said.

"And you better not forget it!" 

A droid brought a pair of golden-orange drinks, setting them on the table.

Hux said, “Thank you. Some drinks that we can take our time with, Chandrillan Sunsets.”

“Ah,” Phasma said. She knew that Chandrillan Sunsets had romantic and intimate connotations. “I’ll let you two alone. I have a title to defend,” she said nodding to the crowd gathering around another table as the server droid poured rows of Lightning shots.

“Congratulations again. I know I tease you a lot, but I am very proud of you.”

“Thank you, Phasma.”

“After all, you’re my most accomplished student! Now I get to brag!”

“You’re right. I couldn’t have done it without you,” Kylo smiled.

She swaggered over to the other table. “Deal me in!”

Hux held a glass up. “Congratulations, Master Knight.”

Kylo lifted his and gave a nod, although his smile had faded. “Thank you, General Hux.”

The Chandrillan Sunset was smooth and delightful. Sweet, but not cloying. Flavorful, but subtle. Bright and warm. A hint of bitter citrus. Reminiscent of something... A place. A time. Being with someone you love, and just … feeling content.

Being here with him now made Hux a bit wistful about the time that he hadn't gotten to spend with Kylo. Time lost.

“We have so much to catch up on,” he said.

“Yeah. Too much,” Kylo said, looking away, “Too much to bore each other with.”

It was true: Hux didn't really care to hear of Kylo's exploits and adventures with the Knights of Ren. All that time away. All those lonely nights. Hux didn't want to lament the time they could have spent together. They were together now; that's what mattered.

But he couldn’t let it go.

Hux had no doubt that Kylo’s training had been tortuous. Although he had joked about it with Phasma, it clearly pained him to think about. And it pained Hux to think about, too. They had both been miserable and for what? For the Force? For Snoke? Neither of them had gotten any personal benefit, from what he gleaned.

“I wish that we could have that time back,” Hux said.

“Things can’t be changed. The past is in the past,” Kylo said.

“But, if we could do it over again…”

“No,” Kylo answered.

“No? You’d rather have this? Being Snoke’s lackey? Being miserable?” Hux said, unable to hide his frustration.

“I am the Supreme Leader’s _Enforcer,_ ” Kylo retorted and sounded insulted.

“Enforcer,” Hux said with derision. “Call it whatever Snoke insists you call it, you’re still miserable.”

“I know what I am,” Kylo said, “I don’t need you, or Snoke, to tell me.”

This evening was not going as pleasantly as Hux had hoped. He sipped his Chandrillan Sunset — it now tasted bitter. And he felt a headache coming on. Phasma and the other officers engaged in that drinking game were getting too boisterous for his sensibilities.

“I would have given you anything, everything,” Hux said.

“I didn’t want anything and everything. I just wanted a choice to accept it or not,” Kylo said.

Shouting probably would have gone unnoticed over the raucous crowd, but Hux made an effort to keep his voice low. 

“Did Snoke give you a choice? Did the Force give you a choice?”

Kylo leaned forward, his wet, unblinking eyes staring at him — staring into him. Kylo had promised to never do it again, but for a moment, Hux braced for the sting of Kylo’s mind penetrating his...but a second passed...and another.  

He didn’t invade Hux’s mind, instead, Kylo said, almost to himself, “I wasn't strong enough to resist you on my own, so the Force helped me. And though the path it chose for me is not one I would have chosen for myself, I should be grateful for it. I didn’t choose to have these powers. And I didn’t always have control of them. But now I do.”

“So, now that you’ve proved that you can resist me, and control me, and use the Force to do whatever you want to me, you can _choose_ to be with me,” Hux said.

“And I choose not to,” Kylo said. “Thank you for the drink, good evening, General Hux.”

Kylo left without finishing his Chandrillan Sunset. He scooped up his helmet and said something to Captain Phasma on his way out. She clapped him cordially on the shoulder, nodding. After he left, she came over to Hux’s table.

“General, you look like you could use some company,” she said.

He gave a small laugh, pushing Kylo’s nearly-full glass in front of her. “Care to share my Bitter Rejection with a side of Endless Frustration?”

She sat across from him.

“Hmm,” she said, regarding the drink, “It’s not so bad.”

He muttered, “It’s all fucked up. And it’s all my fault and I don’t know how to fix it. And I keep trying and trying, but he’s so stubborn.”

She said, “He just needs some time. Alone.”

“He’s had time alone. We’ve both had time alone — too much time alone.”

 

————————————————————

 

He didn’t see Kylo for the rest of the week— not even a wisp of black cloak out of the corner of his eye.

 

He didn’t see him for half of the next week, either.

He hadn’t responded to any communications Hux sent him.

_So, now he’s avoiding me, when before he lurked around every corner like a stalker._

Left no other option, he went to Kylo’s suite.

He pressed the intercom.

_Please be in there. Please be in there. Please -_

 

@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@

 

 

His intercom beeped. Like everything else in the First Order, it was bleak and sobering, a joyless noise, not a harbinger of good news: General Hux, the last person he wanted to ever see again.

He had implored the Supreme Leader to station him on another ship, but Snoke, without having to ask the reason, castigated him for losing focus, for magnifying petty, childish feelings into something insurmountable.

He put his mask on over a grim expression and squeezed his hands into tight fists to get himself angry. If he was angry, Hux couldn’t manipulate him.

He answered the door.

“Yes, General?”

“Can we talk?”

“No. I’m busy.”

“How are we supposed to work on our relationship if you keep ignoring me?” Hux asked.

“I said I don’t want a relationship.”

“That wasn’t you talking. You didn't decide to leave me the other night. That was whatever nonsense Snoke and the Knights of Ren have drilled into your head. It’s all fake. I see right through it. They convinced you that you are nothing unless you are the most powerful man in the room. You put on this front to impress them and everyone else, but you don't need to do it with me.”

Kylo stood rigid, his breathing loud in his mask. He wouldn't let Hux persuade him—  he couldn't let Hux _seduce_ him — that would undo everything he had been working so hard for. If he went back to Hux, it would be under his own terms.

Hux was right about projecting a cold, impenetrable exterior but wrong about the motive. Kylo didn't do it to impress anyone, he did it as protection. Protection from his own emotions, protection from Hux. He felt more vulnerable around him than anyone else, and the closer he got, the more vulnerable he felt.

“Love isn't a weakness, Kylo. And I-” Hux sighed but Kylo didn't let him finish. He knew what he was about to say: _I love you_. A powerful and controlling phrase. Kylo knew the tactic, even if it was true; Hux did love him. It was a controlling tactic all the same.

“You can't just have me whenever you want,” Kylo said, his voice detached and mechanical through the mask.

“I know.” The slight tremble in his voice sounded heartbreakingly sincere. “But I miss you. I’ve missed you even more since you’ve been back because you wouldn’t even talk to me. And, the other night, I could tell you missed me, too. Don’t keep hurting yourself just to hurt me. There’s no reason for either of us to be lonely. Will you keep me company, just for tonight?”

As much as he hated Hux, he also loved him. He could make him feel like no other person ever could—or ever would.

“We don't even have to do anything, just be with me for a while. Please,” Hux begged.

Hux had destroyed who he had been before — a person Kylo sometimes couldn't even remember — so he re-made himself as Kylo Ren. And he could not destroy him now.

But he couldn't find it in himself to refuse. He may not be that other person, that child that distantly spoke to him sometimes, whose memory meant nothing more to him than a dream, but that child's compassionate, perhaps foolish, nature came forward.

He remembered the man lying in the dirt of the busy Kallumond marketplace; he helped the stranded First Order Lieutenant General — of course, he didn’t know the man’s loyalties at the time, only that he had been robbed and needed a way to contact his ship.

If he had just walked by like everyone else, had minded his own business, ignored him, he might still be that innocent kid. Maybe not law-abiding, maybe a scoundrel, but still Ben Solo. But, if he had walked by, he may have always regretted not helping.

_I was kind to you, and, for that, you made me this: a killer, a monster. I should turn away from you, never look back. But, it's already done and can't be undone._

_And, even if I turned my back on you now, I would not go back to being that ignorant, fool-hardy kid._

_But, I can at least show you one last act of kindness…_

His hands relaxed, he reached up, unlatched his helmet and removed it.  

“Okay.”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hux sat on the bed, his folded hands fidgeted nervously on his knees. This used to be so easy...

....He would just grab Ben by the arm and push him onto the bed and...

 _Oh_.

“Do you want to watch a holo?” Hux asked.

“No,” Kylo replied.

“We used to watch them together,” Hux said.

“I never enjoyed them,” Kylo said.

_Oh ._

“I can pull up some old, Imperial-sanctioned concertos-”

“I never enjoyed those, either.”

_Oh ._

"We could…” Hux said, trying to think of something else to do that wasn't sex.

“We could...” Kylo said, lowering the lights with a sweep of his hand. He knelt in front of Hux and slipped a hand under his shirt, sliding up to his throat and tilting his jaw to kiss him.

_Oh !_

Hux leaned into Kylo's hand, allowing long fingers to glide up behind his ear.

Kylo withdrew his hand and said, “But if you’d rather watch a dull, old holo, then…”

Hux gave a hint of a smile. “Don’t tease.”

“I’m not teasing. Not yet,” Kylo said and removed his clothing. He seemed to glow in the soft light, his body muscular and hardened and yet somehow soft, vulnerable.

His scars had been treated and had mostly vanished. His pale, smooth skin could have been chiseled alabaster. Also, Hux noticed, he no longer wore the necklace.

“Which way would you like?” Kylo asked.

“However you want…. uhm.... unghh….” Hux said as he let Kylo unfasten and tug off his pants and slide a cool, metal ring around his twitching cock.

Hux didn't have time to question why he had that because Kylo immediately wrapped his lips around his newly collared shaft and began sucking. Just enough to get him wet and perky before adding a drop of lubricant and rubbing him until he was hot and slick and desperately eager.

Then Kylo lowered onto his lap, apparently concerned that he might be too heavy. “Is this okay?”  

“It’s great,” Hux whispered, wrapping his arms around him to pull them chest to chest. He kissed the side of his neck, then rested his head in the crook of Kylo’s shoulder. He didn’t want to let go.

Kylo was, in fact, too heavy to bounce easily on his lap the way he used to, so Kylo grabbed the headboard with one hand to assist him. He moved slowly and deliberately as if he didn’t want to give Hux too much too soon. He wanted the control, bringing Hux so painfully close to climaxing, but then stopping again and Hux would gasp in agony and exasperation. But Hux relented. He wanted to beg Kylo to go faster, but he didn’t want it to be over. So he relented, and Kylo teased him over and over and over.

 

By the time he flopped back on the bed exhausted, he couldn’t remember how many times he came, or, maybe he hadn’t come at all. It didn’t matter; it had been wonderful. Kylo kissed him as he lay down next to him, idly rubbing a strand of Hux’s hair between his fingers. And Hux wiggled closer, seeking more affection. Kylo obliged and peppered his chest with kisses.

“You truly are gifted,” Hux muttered.

Kylo _hmmed_ , maybe in agreement or, just as likely, in disregard, his hand slipping down to fondle Hux’s tender, and possibly chafed, cock. Hux recoiled. As much as he might want this night to last forever, his poor, overworked member couldn’t take any more.

“It was amazing, really, but I can’t-”

“I’m just trying to remove the ring,” Kylo laughed.

“Don’t, please, not right now,” Hux said, touching it himself and deciding it would be too painful at the moment to try to remove.

“Okay,” Kylo said and Hux snuggled back against him, and as the warmth of passion prickled away, he began to shiver. Kylo pulled the bed covers over them and Hux soon fell asleep in Kylo’s arms.

 

...

 

He stirred when he heard a soft shuffle of sheets as Kylo got out of bed trying not to wake him.

 

 _So beautiful_ , Hux thought, watching as Kylo crossed the room. He almost seemed like a hologram in the blue light, like a dream or a memory, something not really there.

Then, he bolted upright, shook from his entrancement, when he saw Kylo putting on his pants.

“You’re not leaving now, are you? It’s hours until we have to be on duty.”

“I have to think about some things,” Kylo said.

“Can’t you think about them here?”

Kylo hastily pulled on his tunic. “I probably won't be back before then, but you can stay until morning if you want,” he said and turned away from him to gather his helmet.

“No, please don’t go,” Hux begged, unable to believe that this was happening again.

Kylo only said, “Goodnight, My Love."

Instantly crushing any joy that Hux may have felt after hearing those words again, Kylo donned his mask and left.

_My Love! You called me ‘My Love’! Did you say those words out of sincerity or as a cruel mockery?_

Hux stumbled after him, getting tangled in the sheet, then deciding that he didn’t care if anyone saw him nude and standing in Kylo Ren’s doorway.

“Please, My Love, please!”

But Kylo was gone, not even looking back this time, the rectangle of light from the door narrowing to a thin line, then vanishing.

Hux grabbed his clothes, threw them on, and rushed after him, but he didn’t see him down any of the long corridors.

_Fuck! Fuckfuckfuckfuck!_

The fourth-shift personnel eyed him anxiously since the General usually only made appearances at this late hour during emergency situations. He searched the star destroyer, asking the on-duty crew if they had seen Ren. No one had. There was no way to search the entire ship before his regular shift started. Eventually, he considered that maybe Kylo had returned to his suite, but as he really needed to change into a fresh uniform before his shift started, Hux clenched his fists and retreated to his room.

_“FUCK!”_

He kicked off his shoes without turning on the light, hearing a small _clink;_ somehow that ring that Kylo had put on him had fallen into his shoe. He dug his fingernails into his palms to keep from feeling emotional pain and sat on the bed to try to compose himself. He wiped his eyes, and in the cold dark of the room, a glint on the bedstand drew his attention. Kylo’s necklace.

He carefully picked it up as if cautious that it might burn him.  Running his fingers over each link, he thought about how trying so hard to keep him under his control — to keep from losing him — had only made Kylo resist more. Hux himself had caused the thing he feared most.

He clasped the chain around his neck. As a reminder, he told himself, that while it may not be possible to recapture a fondly remembered moment in time — because it may, in actuality, never have occurred to begin with — to keep and enjoy those memories as memories, to move on from the past and make what he could of the present.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

Hux made his way to the bridge wrecked in more ways than one, unshowered and unshaven. He shoved the daily roster into the hands of the nearest lieutenant and went straight back to Kylo’s suite.

He tapped the intercom, “Kylo, I'd like to talk.”  

No answer.

He tapped again.

“Please, if you’re in there, please answer.”

He waited and tapped again, then realized that he was being stupid about this and contacted Captain Phasma.

“Captain, have you seen Kylo Ren this morning?”

“Yes, Sir, I believe he is in one of the training rooms at the moment.”

 

As he entered the training section, Hux could hear the sounds of combat coming from one of the rooms. He entered without knocking, not that Kylo would have heard him anyway with all the destruction going on. The remains of at least a dozen training droids were scattered and smoking on the floor while Kylo quickly de-limbed three others.

And he looked magnificent, his form superb. He whirled and spun with ease and speed that Hux couldn’t imagine any human undertaking, even taking the time to add a flourish or two. When he had dispatched the droids, Kylo spun to face him, flicked his saber off and clipped it to his belt.

“Amazing,” Hux said, genuinely taken aback.

“Thanks for noticing. I have been practicing,” Kylo said, his broad chest heaving and glistening with sweat. And Hux wondered whether he always trained without a shirt, or if he had anticipated Hux’s intrusion.

He stared glassy-eyed as Kylo wiped his face with a small towel.

“Is there something you need, General?” Kylo asked, obviously knowing that he was not there on work-related business, but possibly wishing that he was.

“I…” Hux said, almost forgetting his reason for being there other than as a voyeur.  “I...last night was incredible, and I …”

Kylo grabbed his tunic and cape, letting his posture sag, making it evident that he didn’t want to be having this conversation. “No, Hux, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have let you … I mean, last night shouldn’t have happened. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to lead you on.”

“Well, yes, you may have gotten my hopes up,” Hux said.

“Please don’t think I did it to hurt you. I have to work some stuff out before I can see you again. But I can’t right now.”

“You don't need to apologize, and I actually came here to say that I understand, or at least I think I do,” Hux said, absentmindedly touching his throat, feeling the chain hidden under his collar. “I’ll give you all the space you need, and if you want to see me again, I will be here for you.”

“I don’t know when that will be or if it will ever be. That time may never come. Are you willing to wait that long?”

“I’ll wait twice as long,” Hux said.

Kylo smiled, “And no more pestering.”

“No pestering, I promise.”

“Thank you, Hux,” Kylo said, affixing his cape squarely on his shoulders and leaving Hux alone in the room save for several piles of smoldering droid carcasses.

Yes, he would wait, and he would count the minutes:

 ::

6 minutes later:

Hux barely made it back to his quarters before he broke down crying for longer than he could ever remember crying.

They say it feels good to let go, but it didn’t, it felt like the world was crumbling around him, like parts of him were being torn away, like his intestines were twisting into knots and someone was stomping on his stomach. He cried until his eyes hurt, and his throat hurt, he coughed and dry heaved and felt like he was going to die if he had to cry any more. And then he cried more. And then, at the end, he felt like he had cried so much that he would never have to cry again.

 ::

0.78 hours later:

He reported in sick, even though it meant losing his leave days for the rest of the year. He felt terrible. His head hurt to move, his eyes burned, his stomach ached from heaving, and he had an inexplicable backache, so he spent the rest of the day laying on the floor in the dark trying to be as still as possible.

 ::

26.45 hours later:

He felt even worse the next day, like the worst hangover he ever had. Not that he had experienced many hangovers, but this was definitely up there with the worst.

 ::

336 hours later:

He thought he would never be able to look at Kylo again without it destroying him. But, as the days went on, he began to feel strangely serene. He would keep his promise, and wouldn’t confront Kylo about his feelings. And he would eventually feel content to love Kylo and admire him without intimate contact, even if Kylo didn’t love him in return.

 

...

 

...

 

 

...

 

 

 

 ...

 

 ::

25141.2  hours later:

Hux met Kylo on the command deck. They watched as the planet-sized weapon came into view, a symbol of the grand and glorious future of the First Order.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Hux said proudly. But they hadn’t met there to marvel at the First Order’s technological prowess.

He turned to Kylo. “Thank you for seeing me.”

“Thank you for saying yes,” Kylo said.

Hux could have rolled his eyes. “You know I couldn’t say no. You know I’ve been waiting all this time, practically counting the minutes. You know I am at your mercy.”

“Really?”

“Yes, Ren.”

“No need to be so formal. This is a date, remember?” Kylo said, smiling.

“All right, Kylo. But don’t get the idea that you can start calling me Armitage.”

Kylo mumbled some “pet” variations under his breath: Armie, Mit, Mitty, Mittens...

“None of those, either!” Hux huffed.

“You’re so boring, Hux.”

“No, I’m pragmatic.”

Kylo took his arm and turned to fully face him. Hux suppressed a shiver at the touch, the first touch in almost three years, and leaned forward, hoping that Kylo would pull him closer.

“Are you sure I can’t call you something else?” Kylo asked with a mischievous pouting of his lips.

Hux said, “Well, I’m anticipating a promotion, soon, and then you can call me Grand Marshal Hux.”

“Congratulations,” Kylo said wryly.

“Well, it hasn’t happened, yet, but just as soon as I show the galaxy a proper display of Starkiller’s…” Hux knew that Kylo didn’t care about Starkiller, that he wasn’t impressed by bravado speeches or grandiose ranks.

At that moment, he didn’t really even care, either, he just wanted Kylo to kiss him.

Just a touching of their lips.

And, as their lips met, as they felt each other’s breaths, he wanted more than anything else in the entire galaxy to hear Kylo say:

_I love you, forever, My Love._

 

 

_@~~~~~~~~~~~~~@~~~~~~~~~~~~@_

 

_@~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~@_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ::Not to promise anything, but I may add a few bonus chapters to this in the future, maybe titled "Sparring Session", "First Date" , and "Snow Rescue" *wink*, but don't look for those anytime too soon XD::
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3


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